MyTinyCrazyMind

•

You hated it. Even when you were standing on the mat outside the door, you could hear your parents arguing inside. It was the same every year and one of the reasons why you had moved out. Everything always centred around them and some argument they were having. As a child, you had somehow tried to block it out, but as a young adult you couldn't do that anymore. 

But for some reason, unknown to you, you had promised your mum that you would come home for the holidays. During the flight from Nice to your home country, you kept trying to convince yourself that things would be better than in previous years. To be more precise, all the years since you could remember. But when you stood in front of that familiar door again, you knew it was going to be hell. 

You slowly raised your hand and knocked on the door. It suddenly became completely silent and you could already hear your mum's footsteps behind the door before you could take your hand off the door. She opened with a serious expression until she could see you. All of a sudden, a smile flitted across her otherwise serious face. She pulled the door open and took you in her arms. 

‘Y/N, my child, it's so nice to have you here.’ It felt so right in her arms. Like your home. And it was, but somehow you felt like you were 12 years old again, trapped in your little world that you had tried so desperately to break out of. 

‘It's nice to see you too, Mum.’ She let go of you again and pulled you into your familiar four walls. 

‘Take off your shoes. I've already started cooking and your dad is looking forward to seeing you too.’ You carefully undid the loops of your shoes and then pulled them off your feet to place them neatly next to your mum's shoes. The different smells from your mum's kitchen wafted straight into your nose. There was nothing better than your mum's food. You had often asked her for recipes, but you had never managed to make it so well yourself. 

Nothing had changed in the rooms you once called home. It was almost as if time had stood still. Every now and then you noticed a new picture or other decoration that you didn't recognise, but otherwise nothing had changed since the day you moved out. 

‘Hello Dad.’ Your father was lying on the sofa, the TV on the highest volume and he had just lifted his head when he saw you standing in the doorway. No hug, no warm greeting, just a cold ‘hello’ before he turned his attention back to the programme on the TV. You still tried to keep the smile on your lips and suppress the tears that were already welling up in your eyes. You tried to tell yourself over and over again that he wasn't worth shedding a single tear over. 

Your mum was back in the kitchen behind the cooker. She was completely in her own world and didn't even notice that you were standing in the doorway. It wasn't until she turned in your direction that her stare turned back into a small smile for you. 

‘My child, I'm making your favourite meal. I know it's not particularly Christmassy and not really a meal for the night before Christmas, but I'm so glad you're back.’ You gave her a little smile too. Before your mobile phone vibrated several times in your pocket and completely grabbed your attention. You slowly took it out while your mum paced back and forth in the kitchen. 

Charles: Babe, I hope you arrived safely at your parents' place. 

Charles: We are missing you here. 

Charles: Kisses & Merry Christmas from my mum!  

He had no idea how much you would have preferred to stay with him and his family. But this was your family and you couldn't bring yourself not to come home. It was your duty, so to speak, as you didn't usually see them during the year. 

‘Please write to your brother to tell him to come to dinner.’ Your mother's words snapped you out of your warm and happy thoughts of the cosy Christmas holidays at the Leclercs'. The stories alone always warmed your heart.

You helped your mum set the table before your brother and father joined you at the dining table. Your brother didn't even say hello to you, just a wry look when he saw you standing in the kitchen and putting the plates on the table. The atmosphere was cold. Before everyone had even sat down, your father had already ladled the soup into his plate and started eating. Your mum had to refrain from saying anything. You could see exactly how she first looked at your father and then at you and then sat down without saying a word.

As always, the food was very good, which you told your mum and she immediately had a gleam in her eye. You knew she didn’t receive compliments often, especially about her cooking. This was one of the many things she had previously complained to you about.

You hadn't even finished your plate when your father got up, left the plate and sat back down in the living room. You could see how it broke your mum's heart. 

‘Can't we spend an evening together as a family?’ It slipped out of your mouth. It felt wrong to be here for you. Like you were in a forbidden, cold place with no love where you shouldn't be. Your father looked in your direction from the sofa. 

‘What else am I supposed to do at the table?’ He had already switched the TV back on and continued watching his programme from before dinner. 

‘Your daughter's back for the first time in a very long time and you're doing nothing but watching the stupid telly.’ And as soon as your mum said it, you knew it was going to turn into another argument. 

‘Oh, the princess is here and then of course there's nothing more important.’ Your father's words hurt, but you tried not to let it show. Afteralll you used to be a champion at hiding your feelings from your parents. That was at least when you were younger. These days to you it felt like everyone could read you just by looking you in the eyes long enough. But no worries about that here. No one would even try to look at you longer than necessary.

‘I didn't say that, don't put words in my mouth. But of course there's nothing more important to you than some stupid film that you have to watch over and over again every year and neglect your family for.’ You could remember exactly how you had heard the same films playing over and over again from the living room every year. After a while, you had started to skilfully tune them out because it was just getting on your nerves. To you this was one of the reasons why you now hated anything TV related. You tried to get around it as much as possible. Sometimes this wasn’t easy with friends wanting to go to the cinema or watch a film or show together. But most of your friends understood your feelings. And to you and them it was a fair point that especially when visiting the cinema you couldn’t really talk and connect, which is why you preferred to do more social things together.

‘I'm not going to let you tell me what to do and what not to do, you're not my mum. Try to get a grip on your children first. They don't even want to see you anymore.’ Your father had raised his voice and was now shouting so loudly through the rooms that the television could barely be heard. ‘The holy daughter you're supposed to do everything for comes to visit once a year and then I'm supposed to adapt to her wishes? I don't think so.’ You could already see the tears forming in your mum's eyes, but she refused to be talked down to and started shouting too. 

‘Then ask yourself why your daughter doesn't come here anymore.’ You and your brother slowly got up and walked towards your rooms. Your connecction with your brother wasn’t as cold as with your dad. To be fair that was probably because you never really had a connection. You were raised differently. Wether it is because he was the younger sibling or because he is a boy you don’t know. But your parents always treated him with more leniency than you. He was allowed to do things earlier than you, they supported him in everything he did especially his football career, so much so that for years until he eventually got a scholarship you did not see your parents during the weekends. If you wanted to pick up a hobby it was always nonsense except for if it would have been football. Even then they complained that foot ball isn’t really for girls and continued to follow your brother instead of you. But after all this wasn’t his fault. Even if he obviously made use of all of this and made our parents do things for him, that they would have not even in their dreams thought about doing for me. Still it made you, maybe not hate him but dislike hime for sure. And no one could blame you really.

‘They never stop. It's always back and forth. Be glad you're no longer there. I really love them both, but believe me, you jumped ship at the right time.’ With these words, he left you standing outside your door and went into his own room. 

Even as you closed the door, you could hear your parents screaming. It tore your heart apart. This wasn't a family. It was a battlefield. You couldn’t even find a topic to really talk to them aboout. Your father always answered all your questions with just one word or a thumbs up when you tried to ask him something via text or a phonecall, which is why you stopped talking to him overall. 

You spoke to your mum more often on the phone but every time you called her, even when you wanted to talk about good news, she always started talking about stress from work and what she had been arguing about with your dad. You could understand the work, because you also had to let out anger from time to time. But whenever the subject changed to your father, you couldn't help but try to end the conversation as quickly as possible. You had told her a long time ago and again and again that maybe it was time to think about a divorce but for some reason she never had the strength to do it. 

You would always help her with everything, but you were mentally broken by constantly hearing about the problems in her marriage when there was a solution. Your father had been an arsehole when you were younger and still living at home. Your mum never had a word to say in the marriage. You grew up believing that a woman had no say in the marriage and that her opinion generally didn't count for much. It wasn't until you met Charles and he showed you bit by bit what a relationship should really be like that you learnt what love really is.

And there it was again. That feeling of being nothing and nobody. No opinion that anyone cared about and this coldness that spread inside you. Even when you were lying under the covers in the bed that used to be yours, you couldn't stop freezing. Nothing had changed. After all these years and every time you had the hope that you would finally come home to a family that cared about each other and showed love, you were disappointed again and you couldn't help but let the tears flow freely. 

You had completely lost track of time when your phone rang. You tried to somehow free your face from the tears but you knew that your red eyes would give you away straight away. You answered the phone and for the few seconds it took to connect, you tried to regain your composure. But every attempt was in vain, because it took just a second for Charles' face to shift and he excused himself from the table where he still seemed to be sitting with his family. 

‘Babe, what's wrong?’ He was standing in a dark corridor and you could barely see him, but you could hear in his voice that he was worried. It didn't take five seconds before you had tears streaming down your face again. You couldn't think of anything else to say. It all just hurt so much. You felt worthless and unloved. Just like the girl who had left her parents back then in the hope of leading a better life, of being loved and of surrounding yourself with people who appreciated you. 

‘I just wanted to give my own family a chance.’ You involuntarily finish your sentence with a sob. Charles didn't interrupt you, though. He waited and just let you carry on talking. ‘I thought things had changed in the time I was away. I thought the distance did us all good. But no.’ The last two words were just a whisper, barely audible if someone didn't try hard enough or could read your lips. And then it all burst out of you. Everything that had accumulated over the past few years. Everything you hadn't told anyone until now. 

‘I want to love them, they are my family, but I don't feel any love. I only feel hate and disgust. I feel out of place and not wanted. It's Christmas Eve and we've just eaten together without any emotion, just gulping down food. There's no togetherness, it's all against each other and everyone for themselves. Apart from my mum, nobody was happy that I was here and actually I couldn't have been here either, nobody would have cared. My dad is lying absent-mindedly on the sofa, watching some stupid film that feels like he's watched a thousand times and isn't interested in anything at all. And then I get blamed and shouted at just because I tried to say that it would be nice if we all sat at the table together after dinner and did something together, played or just talked. And of course my parents are now arguing again. Well, actually, they've never stopped since I came home.’ 

You had to take a deep breath but it felt so good to finally be able to let it all out. Your heart felt lighter and a little bit freed from all the things you had swallowed and hidden away for years. 

You hadn't noticed that Charles had gone into another room in the meantime. He looked at you worriedly and put his mobile phone down to do something on his laptop. You were super confused at first and thought he hadn't been listening to you. You were about to give him a stupid look until he finally started talking. 

‘Nobody should feel like this at Christmas and I'm so sorry I never realised and I didn’t reach out sooner.’ You shook your head and wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault that you felt so bad. But he didn't let you get a word in edgewise.

‘I was just checking with my contact at vistaJet to see if he had a jet on standby nearby. Please get ready. I'll organise a driver to pick you up from your parents in a moment. I definitely don't want this to be your Christmas.’ You were speechless. It hadn't been your intention to whinge at him about sending you a jet.

‘Charles, I didn't mean to, I just needed to get it all off my chest. It wasn't my intention-’ Charles interrupted you and just shook his head. 

‘Babe, are you happy to be with your parents right now?’ You shook your head slowly. ‘I know you didn't ask for it and probably wouldn't ever ask me, even if I told you a million times that I'd do anything for you. But I don't want you to be unhappy. We can hardly wait for you to come to us.’ 

Sometimes you weren't sure if your life was real or if you were stuck in a dream that occasionally turned into a nightmare. It still didn't feel real. You were just a simple girl who had done her masters and with a bit of luck had landed an incredible job. Somewhere along the way, you'd met this guy, who was a bit weird at first, in a club in London where you'd just celebrated your graduation with your friends from university. Who would have ever thought it would turn into something so serious. 

‘Thank you.’ That was the only thing you could say. Satisfied with your answer, Charles had a small smile on his face and began to tell you the exact details. If all went well, you should arrive in France that night and from there Charles would pick you up himself and take you to the ski resort where the family was spending the holidays this year.

It was no great surprise that no one really noticed that you had left the house again. You didn't have to do much packing as your suitcase was still sitting untouched in the hallway. You had only left a little note for your mum saying that you were sorry but Christmas shouldn't be like this. You felt so sorry for her. Knowing that she was trapped here. But you had offered to help her again and again and to find something else for her. But it wasn't your marriage and your life. You could offer her help but she still had to take the steps herself. The same with your brother. He only lived at home because he couldn't afford to move out. But neither could you when you left the house. There are always ways for everything. You had decided for yourself that your life shouldn't be like this. At some point, you just had to put yourself first and not take a back seat. Who knows what would have become of you otherwise. Probably a submissive housewife who didn't dare speak her mind. 

The driver took you to a small airport in no time where there was only one aeroplane and nothing else to be found. The staff were very friendly. But probably also because they thought you were so rich that you could afford a private jet. And somehow you were. Rich in love. Your boyfriend loved you so much that he organised it for you.

After the pilot and crew had briefly introduced themselves to you, everything happened very quickly. Between take-off and landing, everything seemed like a rush. You were fast asleep and woken up by the flight attendant shortly after landing. 

‘We have arrived at Annecy Airport, Miss Y/L/N.’ You couldn't believe it. The aircraft was in parking position but the doors were not yet open. Looking out of the window, you could already see him. Charles was standing like an angel on the runway next to an airport employee and a car that was probably taking you from the runway to Charles' car. Your tiredness was gone. Later, Charles explained to you that it was the only airport in the vicinity of the ski resort that had given the jet permission to land because of the time of day. 

You were beaming like a little child when the ground staff and the flight attendant opened the aircraft door and you said goodbye to them before literally running down the stairs into Charles' arms. 

‘Amour.’ With that one word, all the stress of the past few hours fell from your shoulders, because Charles had that in him. With a word, a touch or a gesture, he could make you forget everything bad and bring warmth to your heart. That's what he did to you. And if you could trust his words, which you always did, then the same was true the other way round. 

‘You don't know how reassured I am that I can hold you in my arms now.’ And you could feel how reassured he was. He didn't let go of you at all. 

As you had already guessed, the car that Charles was waiting for you next to took you first to passport control and then to the car park where you changed into Charles' car. And even when Charles finally sat behind the wheel, he didn't let go of you. He always held your hand tightly in his. You had no idea how worried he must have been. Unconsciously, you closed your eyes again and slipped into a deep sleep. Even in your dream, Charles never let you out of his sight. Once again, you had no idea how much time had passed before Charles tried to carefully get you out of the car but failed immediately. Your sleep had been too light for that. Besides, you had probably noticed subconsciously that the steady rocking and the sounds of the car that had originally hypnotised you to sleep were suddenly gone. 

You could already see the sky getting brighter behind the mountains. It wouldn't be long before it was daytime. Charles led you through the snow to the cabin the family had rented. You had seen pictures when Charles had talked to his brother Arthur about it. 

‘Let's go straight to bed to get a few more hours of sleep.’ Charles just took off his shoes and then carried your suitcase up the stairs. You followed him with a small glance around the dimly lit groundfloor. It was a nice big area with an open-plan kitchen, a dining room next to it and a large living room with a huge Christmas tree. There weren't many presents in front of it, but there were a few. It made you a little sad to see more love even in a rented cottage than in the house you had just fled from. 

In the last room down the small corridor, Charles closed the door behind you and simply took off his trousers and T-shirt. He handed you one of his jumpers and then waited until you had changed to get into bed with you. 

With your back pressed against his chest, you could feel his every breath. He put his arms around your body and pulled you even closer to him. 

‘My family were really worried about you. Lorenzo overheard what you said on the phone and you know the good guy, he can't keep his mouth shut so now the whole family knows.’ You had to suppress a little laugh. You could just imagine the chaos in the house. 

‘I think mum quickly tidied up the whole house again. Arthur had to help her and you can imagine how much he wanted to do it.’ You had to grin again. For a brief moment, Arthur must have hated you. He would certainly make a comment about it later. But unlike your family's emotions and remarks, he would take you in his arms immediately afterwards and not let you go for at least as long as Charles did. Arthur was like your brother. You understood each other blindly. 

‘Actually, I'm almost surprised that he hasn't written or phoned me, because Arthur usually has a little inkling when I'm not feeling well.’ Charles didn't answer that at first. You turned round in his arms because you thought he might have fallen asleep. But he was still awake and rolled his eyes. 

‘Well, I wasn't actually going to call you. I thought maybe you were having a nice evening with your family and that's why you didn't reply to my messages, but Arthur insisted.’ You had to grin slightly. ‘Sometimes I really wonder if you two are twins who were separated at birth.’ You could sense that Charles was a little envious of the good bond between you and his little brother. You put your hands to his face. 

‘Charlie, yes I get on well with your brother, but you're still the one I love. I couldn't be happier. I really have won the lottery with an in-law family like yours. Everyone cares about each other and you can rely on every single one of them. I see my little brother in Arthur and the connection I never had with him. It just gves me joy knowing that I am capable of giving sisterly love.’ Charles shook his head slightly. 

‘That’s not the point. I love to see your relationship with him.’ He trailed off for a second before he spoke his actual worry. ‘If Arthur hadn't nagged me to call you, you'd still be alone and crying in your bed. But never mind. I'm glad you're here now.’ He wrapped his arms around your body again and pulled you close to him. He gave you a kiss on the forehead and then rested his chin on the top of your head. ‘You deserve so much love and only the best. Please never forget that.’ Your eyelids grew heavy and you only managed to get a whispered ‘I love you’ past your lips before you drifted off into a deep sleep in Charles' arms. 

The next time you opened your eyes, the bed next to you was empty. The sun was shining through the window onto your pillow. It felt so warm and cosy. You stretched before slowly getting out of bed and putting on at least halfway presentable clothes from your suitcase. As soon as you opened the door, you could hear the many voices from downstairs, all talking in a jumbled but somehow organised manner. At the bottom of the stairs, you saw the whole family sitting around the Christmas tree in the living room. They were playing a game on the games console and you couldn't help but smile. This is how Christmas should be. A family, no arguments and all together. 

‘Y/N!’ You hadn't realised that Pascale had come down the stairs behind you. She came almost running towards you and gave you a big hug. ‘I was so worried about you, my darling. Thank God you're with us now.’ It all felt so right. You felt more at home in Pascale's arms than in the four walls that used to be your home. She was more of a mum, especially right now, than your mum. And you knew for sure that the boys and their girlfriends would give you at least as big a hug. You were so relaxed and reassured in Pascale's arms that you didn't even realise that a few tears were rolling down your cheeks.

‘My angel, you don't have to cry.’ She wiped the tears from your face. When Charles heard that you were crying, he came running even faster than he already was. He had the others in tow, especially Arthur, who couldn't wait to take you in his arms. 

‘No, it's all good. It really is. I'm just so glad to have you. I don't know how I earned this, but I'm just so incredibly grateful.’ Pascale gently stroked your face again before letting go and leaving you to the others. Charles had gone to the back of the queue after hearing that you were fine and that he didn't need to worry. Arthur wrapped you in his arms and almost squeezed your breath away as hard as he held you against him.  

‘I just knew something was wrong. I'm glad Charles reacted so quickly and that you're here now.’ He gave you a kiss on the hair before leaving you to Lorenzo, Charlotte and Jade. The three of them also hugged you before Charles took you by the hand, placed a kiss on the back of your hand and then pulled you towards the living room and the Christmas tree. 

‘Perfect, we're finally all here so we can open presents.’ Arthur sat in front of the glowing Christmas tree with shining eyes and could hardly wait until everyone had finally sat down again.

Everything was just perfect. You didn't know how you got so lucky, but finally you didn't feel out of place. It was the greatest gift to have the others around you, to see them shine and to be part of this family. That was Christmas and you couldn't imagine anything better.

•

•

-✨✨

It was like the calm before the storm. When you opened your eyes for the first time, the sun shone on the bed and wrapped itself around your body like a warm veil. However, the little devil on your shoulder had won the debate. You closed your eyes once more to enjoy the warmth and the peace. However, you must have fallen asleep again.

When you opened your eyes for the second time, the sun was still a source of warmth wrapped around you, but there was something else. Two arms wrapped around your torso and the corresponding hands gently nestled against your body. One on your belly, while the other lay at the junction of your neck and your chest. A glance at the clock told you that it was already far too late, yet not even that could faze you.

"There is nothing more soothing than feeling you sleep." He had deftly placed his lips slightly below your ear and softly whispered his words before deftly breathing a few kisses towards that one spot below your ear. He knew exactly what that did to you.

"Max - Elodie's in the next room and I'm pretty sure she's already awake at this hour." But he didn't let up. Again and again he placed single kisses in different places on your neck, on your shoulder and on the upper part of your back.

"Hey, I mean it." You carefully broke free from his embrace to turn around and look at him. But you immediately recoiled as your eyes landed on the person actually lying in bed behind you. You sat up in your bed as far away from him as possible and pulled the covers tightly around your naked torso.

"Samuel, what are you doing here? How did you get here? How are you in my flat, in my bedroom even?" So many questions and yet he just grinned at you and indirectly answered only one question you had asked.

"I can't let this cocky asshole steal my family. You belong to me. Only mine." He moved closer to you again and tried to reach for you, but you kept backing away until the bed suddenly ended and you fell to the floor.

When you opened your eyes, the bedroom was empty. There was only you, completely terrified in the middle of your bed. The second side next to you was used but Samuel was not to be seen.

The living room and kitchen were completely silent as you stepped out of the bedroom with a slow step but still elevated pulse. It must have all been just a bad dream. Samuel didn't know where you had moved to, probably didn't even care at all. You got yourself a glass of water as the door of the flat opened behind you and the two voices that sounded, immediately reassuring you.

"Mummy, look." Like a little whirlwind, Elodie came running towards you when she saw you at the other end of the room. You took the little one in your arms. Probably a little longer than normal and breathed in her own scent a few more times. Even though you knew it had been a dream, your mother's heart was only truly relieved when you held her in your arms. Elodie, however, was not impressed at all.

"Look, me and Maxy got for Laura." She held out a small plush elephant to you. The grin on her face stretched from ear to ear and her eyes literally lit up as you set her down on the countertop of the small kitchen and took the elephant in your hand.

"He's very cute. I'm sure Laura will be pleased." Your little angel nodded madly and then asked you to put her back on the floor.

"Have to show him to Bunny." The second her legs touched the floor she was quickly flashing back to her room. How wonderful those days were when you too had such an imagination. Soon Elodie would turn four and then the other years would pass quickly too. You only hoped that your little one could keep this imagination for as long as possible.

You flinched a little as Max wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you close. He looked at you a little confused for a moment and tilted his head a tiny bit.

"Are you okay?" You took a deep breath in and out and then put a soft smile on your lips before you let yourself sink into his arms, against his chest and your head found its place in the crook of Max's neck.

"Yeah, I just had a stupid dream. But everything's okay again." Max pulled his arms tighter around you and placed a loose kiss on your temple. Feeling his warmth, having him so close to you and being able to breathe in his own scent was the best medicine. No matter what the situation, Max managed to calm you down. Whether after a stressful day at work or when Elodie had her five minutes again. Max always had a solution for every situation and always remained relaxed. Almost nothing could rattle him.

"Are we ready for Spa?" you lifted your head a little to look Max in the eye. He brushed a strand of hair from your face before placing a fleeting kiss on your lips. Afterwards he grinned proudly.

"I'll be honest with you, I'd be more convinced if you were talking about a real spa and not a race track. You and me, a sauna, a massage and lots and lots of time together." Max laughed out loud before abruptly falling silent and seeming to think.

"After this weekend, we have three weeks to spend with each other almost non-stop. I'm sure we can find a spa somewhere." Just the thought warmed your heart.

"MAXY!" Elodie shouted from her room. It wasn't a desperate cry for help. She just wanted his attention and she knew full well that shouting his nickname loud enough was perfectly sufficient and the Dutchman would be beside her in no time. She had deftly wrapped him around her little finger in just a few weeks. And even if she didn't understand exactly what that meant yet, she enjoyed his undivided attention very much.

Max gave you another kiss, but this time he let it last a little longer and deepened it as he ran his tongue over your lower lip and you almost automatically gave him the opportunity to unite your tongues. All too soon he broke away from you again and put his hands on your cheeks.

"I'll go check on the little bunny and you get ready. There's still porridge on the cooker from this morning that we had saved for you. We should leave the house in about an hour and make it to our airport transfer on time." You nodded cautiously as Max broke away from you and winked with one last look over his shoulder.

It was going to be the first time you would officially go to a race with Max. If you had been honest with yourself, you would have realised that your concern for Elodie was not the reason why it had taken almost two months after Monaco for you to finally agree to Max taking you. Elodie could hardly wait. She had talked about how she would accompany her Maxy to Belgium in the kindergarten and everywhere else she got the chance to do so. In you, on the other hand, it caused more of a small panic. The thought that so many people would see you and that so many pictures would be taken made your heart beat faster every time you had to think about it.

But Max was by your side. He had assured you of that over and over again. Nothing could happen to you because he would make sure that no one could get too close to you if you didn't want them to. And again you were less worried about Elodie than you were about yourself. The little one was already widely known among the drivers and their girlfriends or wives, but also among some mechanics and team bosses. After every race Max came back with greetings from all the different teams for Elodie and sometimes there were voice messages from individual drivers like Lando or Charles with whom Max got on well and communicated outside the race weekends.

-✨✨

The car ride from the hotel to the track was relaxed. Max and Brad sat in the front and took turns talking to Elodie, who kept pointing to things outside the car. You liked Brad and his relaxed way of dealing with Elodie. Which you put down to the fact that he was also the father of a daughter not much younger than Elodie.

You let the surroundings sink in. To be honest, it didn't look much different from a rural region of France. Nevertheless, your thoughts kept drifting to what was about to come. Although Max said that Thursdays weren't that busy in the paddock as it was almost exclusively a media day, you would still see people and pictures would be taken and after a little research the night before you knew how some of the drivers' girlfriends were treated. And it wasn't particularly nice.  

Max parked the car and you got out while Elodie waited for someone to get her out of her seat. Brad was on her side, so he went straight to work while Max pulled you close for a brief moment.

It would probably never go away that when he looked at you like that or he put his hands on your body, or even better, both together, the butterflies in the pit of your stomach went crazy and made it almost impossible for you to concentrate on what Max was saying or what was happening around you.

"Hey." He brushed a strand of hair out of your face and gave you a kiss on the forehead. "It's going to be alright. You and Elodie can walk into the paddock a bit ahead of us and then wait for us in the hospitality. You know where to go because it's actually set up exactly the same as Monaco once you're inside the hospitality and you know where my room is." You nodded a little cautiously but pleased with the suggestion, while Max put a hand on your cheek and smiled at you. Then it was over with you again. Your knees went weak and if Max hadn't had his other hand on your hip you would certainly have fallen over.

At that moment Elodie came running around the car, clinging to Max's legs.

"Up." Max bent down for the little one and held her between you.

"You ready?" Elodie nodded her head madly. There was a gleam in her eyes again that you could see so often in the last few weeks. Mostly when you mentioned that Max was coming over or that he was picking her up from kindergarten. Max also gave Elodie a little kiss on the forehead before setting her back down on the floor between you and turning his attention back to you.

"I'll see you in a minute." From his rucksack, which Brad handed to him, he pulled out a paddock pass each for you and Elodie and hung the correct one on each of you. You took Elodie by the hand and made your way to the turnstiles. No one seemed to pay any attention to you and thankfully the walk to the Red Bull hospitality wasn't long. Just as you were about to walk up the ramp just before your destination and the security of the hospitality you could hear someone calling Elodie's name. You turned around on the spot and before you could see who it was Elodie had broken away from you and was running towards a blonde lady standing a few metres away in front of the Ferrari hospitality.

"I see you have your mum with you this time?" Elodie nodded and turned her head to you, beaming at you.

"C'est ma maman." This is my Mummy. The lady straightened up with Elodie in her arms and held out her hand to you.

"Pascale Leclerc, nice to meet you. The last time I saw Elodie, if I remember correctly, she had run away." Max had told you that the mother of another driver had recognised Elodie because she came to the café every now and then for breakfast with her friends. And when you thought about it, Pascale did look familiar. But with so many guests, you couldn't remember her exactly.

"Nice to meet you Mrs Leclerc." Her attention went straight back to Elodie but she looked up from the little one for a moment and smiled kindly at you.

"I beg you my dear, please call me Pascale." She looked back to Elodie. "I see you still have your little bunny." Elodie nodded and hugged the plush bunny.

"Got elephant for Laura." Pascale smiled and then looked to you.

"She wanted to give something back to the little one, I think. That's why Max and her went to get a stuffed elephant yesterday before we flew here." Pascale tilted her head slightly and stroked Elodie's cheek with her free hand.

"You have raised a very sweet and sensitive little girl. You should be very proud of that." You could feel your cheeks blush slightly. It hadn't always been easy but you always did your best to make Elodie a polite and well-mannered young lady. Hearing such a compliment from someone who didn't know you was like music to your ears.

"Thank you, that really means a lot to me." Pascale set Elodie back down on the floor and took a step closer to you.

"While we're on the subject. The little one and you mean a lot to Max too." Pascale looked behind you before continuing to speak. "After every race weekend, when my son comes home again and we talk to each other, he talks about Max and how his eyes light up when one of his friends ask him about Elodie. He talks so much about what you do together and how much he likes having you around. I don't know you, but from all that Charles has told me, what he knows from what Max says, I was one hundred percent convinced that you had to be a goddess." The more Pascale said, the more embarrassed you became. You had no idea that Max talked about you so much with his friends. Of course, you had a premonition that you had grown close to his heart, since he spent almost every free minute he had with the two of you and hardly ever slept in his own flat anymore. But knowing that he was not afraid to talk to others about you and wanted to show how happy he was made your heart beat faster.

"I had no idea." From behind, two hands placed themselves on your shoulders. Before you could turn around Max was standing next to you and Elodie once again next to his legs and hugged one of them. He patted the little one lightly on the head while he looked at you and Pascale.

"I must say that I thought you had run away for a moment when I didn't find you in my room. Hello Mrs Leclerc." He winked at you and gave a friendly nod to his fellow driver's mother.

"Don't worry my dear, I've distracted them both a bit. I hope you have a good weekend. I'm sure we'll see each other a few more times." The Monegasque said goodbye to you both and gave Max a friendly nod before disappearing into the Ferrari Hospitality.

"Not five minutes alone and you've made acquaintances." Max grinned at you and at the same moment took Elodie by the hand. "Little bunny I have a little surprise for you." Max took your hand too and then walked towards the Red Bull garage with the two of you. On the way you ran into some mechanics who recognised Elodie in particular. However, you wondered how much Max told them when Pascale already knew so much and she wasn't even at the track most of the time and didn't talk to Max normally either.

"Hello little bunny." GP stood beside the car and gave Elodie a little high five before nodding and winking at you. "I heard you were complaining to Daniel last time that only Max and Checo were allowed in the car." Elodie nodded and looked up at Max who just shrugged and mouthed a 'sorry'.

GP lifted your little one up so Max could take off her shoes and then slowly, carefully and expertly set her back down in the car. Before Elodie's feet had even fully touched Max's seat, she had a glow on her face that dwarfed the hot Belgian sun. Her eyes were like stars from one moment to the next, so brightly did they shine. Elodie jumped up and down a little before kneeling down on the seat and examining the car closely. GP explained to her what all the buttons and switches on the steering wheel did while you and Max stood a little further along beside the car and Max gave you a hug.

"I don't think I've ever seen her so happy." Little tears formed in your eyes. The team photographer and social media team made sure the moment was captured for you as you enjoyed it without your phone in mind. Max gently put his hand to your cheek and turned you around so that his body covered you and the fans who were allowed to walk through the pit lane couldn't see what was happening between you.

"Funny, because that's actually how I feel every time I get to see you again after a race weekend and hold you in my arms." Max moved a little closer to you and gently placed his lips on yours. You returned the kiss without giving it much thought, but it was over far too quickly. Max wiped that one tear from your face that had managed to leave your eyes before he moved back next to you so that you could look at Elodie again.

Just at that moment, the little one turned and looked for you and her Maxy.

"Maxy?" She held out her hand for him and even though it hurt a little that she preferred Max to you at that moment, you could understand it somehow because it was Max's car.

Max knelt down next to Elodie, who pulled him closer and whispered something in his ear. You couldn't hear what she was saying with all the commotion around you, even though Elodie hadn't quite grasped the meaning of whispering yet and usually just talked down a volume.

"Are you sure?" Elodie nodded, whereupon Max stood up again and walked over to you. Without saying a word he knelt down in front of you, undid your laces and took off one shoe after the other. Max stood back up in front of you and gave you a gentle kiss on the corner of your mouth before lifting you up and carrying you to the car. GP had lifted Elodie out of the car for a brief moment so that you could sit down.

You would like to be able to say that you weren't that moved by the moment but the fact that Elodie had probably asked Max if you could be in the car with her made you immensely happy as you had rather suspected that she wanted her Maxy with her which would have been perfectly fine with you. As you got comfortable GP handed you Elodie again who sat in your lap and took your hands to put them on the steering wheel which Max had just put back after GP had removed it so that you could get into the car more easily.

Elodie explained the steering wheel and some of the buttons to you, somewhat awkwardly but completely convinced of herself. Even though you could tell by the look on Max's and GP's faces that what she was saying wasn't always the right thing. It made you so incredibly happy to see your little one so excited and to hear her talk about the car with so much energy.

"The radio. Maxy talking to GP in race, like on WhatsApp." She turned away from you while still in the middle of her sentence and turned to Max who was kneeling next to you outside the car, surveying the situation. "You talk to me too in race?" Max laughed and patted Elodie on the head.

"No, my little bunny. I can only talk to my team on that one. GP gives me important information I need to win the race." Elodie got sad for a moment before Max got her out of the car again and talked to her while GP gave you a little correction about some buttons Elodie had explained wrong. Shortly afterwards he helped you out of the car Max was already waiting next to it with his shoes off as well. The mechanics waited until he was sitting in the car and one of the mechanics had put Elodie back on his lap. You put your shoes on next to him and watched as the mechanics pushed the car out of the garage.

"We have to do one or two pit stop practice on Thursdays too." GP explained to you before he walked out of the garage with you so that you could also see Elodie clinging to the steering wheel in Max's lap and two mechanics pushing the car to a stop shortly after and the crew changing the tyres. Elodie's loud, enthusiastic laughter could be heard even over the tyre guns and afterwards over the fans watching from behind a barrier tape.

After a second run through, the mechanics pushed the car back into the garage and Max handed you Elodie, who happily fell around your neck, and then stepped out of the vehicle himself expertly before putting his shoes back on.

Elodie thanked each mechanic individually, gave them high fives and jumped so much in your arms that you had difficulty holding her every now and then. Together with Max, who held Elodie's shoes in his hand you made your way back to the hospitality. Only in his room did he put them down by the door and you sat down with Elodie on the little sofa there. Gemma, came into the room on your heels and looked at Max rather less enthusiastically.

"We should have been at the media centre five minutes ago." Max put on his best grin, while Gemma rolled her eyes, unimpressed. She grabbed the Dutchman, gave you a friendly nod and then ran down the stairs with him. "Can you imagine how much I would have loved to pull you down here holding onto your ears? You lucky you have your girlfriend with you and more importantly little Elodie." You could hear her say that in the distance before the two of them had presumably reached the bottom and then headed out of the building towards the media centre.

-✨✨

It had been pure utopia on your part, and especially on Max's, to think that on Sunday you could still walk into the paddock as undisturbed and undetected as on the other days. The truth had been that after Thursday the situation had changed drastically. Even though the official Red Bull pictures of you and Elodie in Max's car were only meant for you, some fans had logically spread pictures anyway. Especially the pictures and videos of Elodie and Max during the pit stop practice spread like wildfire on the internet. Actually, you could have guessed that. Many fans recognised your little girl from the day Max brought her back to you in the café from the paddock in Monaco.

Elodie was not impressed by any of this. She ignored the people around her and brought a smile to the face of every team member. But most of all, she made Laura Magnussen smile when she presented the little one with the stuffed elephant on Sunday morning.

Most of the day, however, was spent with Max's mother, who spent most of the time with you in the Red Bull hospitality and later made her way with you to the garage to watch the race together. Max won the race, which he called his second home Grand Prix, with ease. However, by the time he had spoken to all the media sources and finally debriefed his team, it was just before 8pm when he returned to his driver's room. Elodie had fallen asleep with her head on your lap on the small sofa next to you a while ago, while you and Brad had talked about his upcoming plans for the summer.

You hadn't noticed Max at first. He stopped for a moment in front of the door and looked at how you had been talking pleasantly with Brad. He could finally see that gleam in your eyes that Elodie had had all weekend. Max had been worried to no end that it would be too much for you and you would never want to come to a race again, or even worse, that you would realise this week how crazy his life was and how much he was in the spotlight and that it didn't fit with the life you wanted to have with Elodie. Seeing you sitting there with the little bunny sleeping next to you and that gleam in your eye had been the best part of the day for him. Sure, the victory had been great but for him you and your daughter were his future and nothing mattered more to him than seeing you happy.

The flight back to Monaco had been a short one. To be honest, you don't remember anything. Which was probably because you fell asleep the second you settled into the seat. Elodie was snuggled up to Max asleep, so you knew she was safe and could close your eyes yourself with peace of mind.

After a short helicopter flight from Nice to Monaco, it was already after ten o'clock when Max unlocked the door to his flat and switched on a dim light.

"You know where my bedroom is. I'll put Elodie to bed. Get ready and take a shower. I know we're rarely here but make yourself at home." Max gave you a gentle kiss on the cheek before walking out of the room with Elodie still asleep to the guest room which was not far from his bedroom.

On any other day it would have been uncomfortable for you to feel at home here, especially because you had never spent the night at the Dutchman's house, he had always stayed with you in Menton to sleep. But that day you were so tired that the deep relaxing rainforest shower in the bathroom was like a blessing you wouldn't have wanted to miss after such exhausting but still very beautiful almost five days in Belgium.

You didn't know when Max got into bed with you. But when you woke up the next morning, his bed had been touched and you knew he had slept there, but there was no sign of him.

You sat up in bed and stretched, stretched your neck and flipped the covers aside to get out of bed and walk from the bedroom towards the living room. Max's flat was huge. Your little flat would fit in there at least four if not five or six times. From the living room you could hear the TV playing in French. But there was no sign of Max and Elodie at first. Only when you came around the corner and the whole sofa came into your field of vision could you see Max and Elodie lying at the other end.

Max was stretched out with his back on the sofa, while Elodie had made herself comfortable on his chest with one cat in her arms and the other lying on the sofa next to Max's head. Your heart swelled and for a brief moment you couldn't cope with the sight. This was how you had always imagined your life when you were a young girl, when you had thought about having a family of your own.

"Mummy's coming." Elodie sat up on Max and handed you her little plush bunny, while still keeping a firm grip on the poor cat and sat it on her lap.

"Baby, careful with the cat. I don't think she'll like it that much." You glanced briefly at Max who just shrugged and then reached for Elodie to sit himself down. He plopped the little one down on the sofa with, if you had judged correctly, Sassy, as Jimmy didn't like being touched. Sassy, however, took the chance and jumped out of Elodie's lap, who also got up and ran after the two cats, playing with them with the cat toys.

"You were sleeping so peacefully and deeply I didn't want to wake you up. Elodie and I made you breakfast." Max put an arm around your shoulders and pulled you against his body. Your head found its place in the crook of his neck where you could feel Max's steady pulse as usual.

"I don't think I've slept this well in a long time. I don't even remember when you got into bed. And certainly not when you got up." Max laughed. That was one of the most beautiful sounds. Especially when you lay on his chest and could hear and feel the laughter from deep inside.

"I noticed that. But if you're sleeping so well here, maybe it's time for you and Elodie to move in here with me." You held your breath for a moment, which Max felt immediately. You sat up straight and put some space between you. It wasn't that you didn't like it when you had so much time together. There was no better time than the time you got to spend with Max and Elodie together. You could see the panic rising in Max's head a little.

"Max ..." He shook his head and took your hands in his.

"Forget what I said. I don't want you to feel pressured by me. I just thought it might be nice for you to live here. I mean the little bunny loves the cats and I think she's comfortable here. And you seem to like it, too. But, if I was wrong, then I'm sorry I brought it up." This time you shook your head and moved a little towards the Dutchman again. You released one of your hands from his and placed it on his cheek.

"I don't think I'm ready for that yet. The last time I gave up my whole life and moved for a man and left everything behind, it went downhill pretty fast after that. Not that I think you would ever do what Samuel did and at the end of the day this time it's just one place away not across several countries but I love what we have and..." It was hard to admit it to yourself but fundamentally the problem was that you didn't trust yourself any more.

Max was different from Samuel. But as much as it hurt you to think that way, your conscience kept reminding you that you had thought so well of Samuel in the beginning as well until he had let you down at some point. It's not that you would expect it from Max, he loves Elodie far too much to let her down, you could see that.

"I guess I'm just not ready." Max pulled you close again, gave you a kiss on the forehead and pressed your head against his chest. For a few minutes he said nothing. Just ran one hand through your hair while he drew patterns on your back with the other.

"It's perfectly fine and it's reason enough. I won't push you into anything you don't want. But when you're ready for it, maybe someday you'll know and feel that my heart you hear beating inside me right now ..." He fell silent for a few seconds and indeed you could hear his heart beating. It was even a little faster than usual. It was beating in rhythm with yours, which was also beating faster than usual for fear that Max wouldn't understand that you weren't ready to move in with him yet.

"...My heart beats for you and Elodie. You are my world and even though some people say you can't know that after such a short time, I really have to say those people haven't experienced true love and met their soulmate yet. I will spend the rest of my life loving you and Elodie, someday Elodie's siblings too, because you are my world and all that matters." Tears came to your eyes. You would so much like to just say yes and get all your things to Max by the evening but just yet your conscience wouldn't allow it, even though your heart would have been full for it.

"I'll get there eventually, and you'll be the first to know when I'm ready, okay?" Max put a hand under your chin and pushed it up a little so you could look him in the eye. There was so much love there that you were almost sorry you couldn't say yes. But what touched you even more was that there was also understanding in his eyes. Then he slowly came closer to you and put his lips on yours. Your lips moved directly as one, as if you had done nothing else all your life. You broke away from Max and grinned at him.

"Besides, Elodie doesn't have a room here. Your flat has been a man cave until now and it shows. The little one also needs her own realm where she can hide from us when she has her five minutes again." Max laughed.

"Ok, so goal for me, design a room for Elodie that she loves so much you have no choice but to move here because Elodie doesn't want to leave." You shook your head but couldn't help a little laugh.

Just then Elodie came running back. She had her little plush bunny in her hand and a cat toy in the other. Sassy and Jimmy ran after her and only stopped when Elodie jumped into your arms on the sofa and made herself comfortable half on you and half on Max. Max also pulled Elodie to his chest and gave her a kiss on her totally confused hair.

"Okay, girls. Are we ready for a well-deserved summer holiday?" Elodie dropped the toys from Jimmy and Sassy, turned in Max's arm and fell around his neck.

"Yaaaa."

-✨✨

Two weeks of just Max, Elodie and you and then finally another week with Max's sister, her family and Max's mother. That was the payoff that awaited you over the summer. Max had planned everything down to the last detail. It was first off to Curacao for the three of you alone. A destination that had been unknown to you at first. When you saw the flight time, you realised why. You were going to the Caribbean, a destination that would probably never have been accessible to you and Elodie under other circumstances.

On the flight, you learned from a travel guide that the ABC islands in the Caribbean - Aruba, Bonaire and Curacao - belonged to the Netherlands and were also known as the Netherlands Antilles. They were also called the "Windward Islands" because they were so close to the Venezuelan coast that they were always spared from the bad Caribbean hurricanes.

Your hotel in Piscadera was just incredible. Situated directly on the coast, it offered many activities on the water to which Max Elodie took you. However, you preferred to stay on the beach. From your little bungalow you could watch the adventures of Elodie and her Maxy while you sipped one or more cocktails under a parasol and studied the book you had bought at the airport in Amsterdam because you had left yours at home. You had to translate every other word, but the more time you spent on the small island, the more and better you could at least understand simple conversations in Dutch, even if you couldn't speak it yourself.

On various days you made small excursions to the small but really very nice capital Willemstad. From the first day you set foot in the city, you fell in love with the colourful houses, the prominent architecture and the general charm of the city, which is why Max couldn't deny you the wish to come back a few more times.

In general, there was very little that Max was not willing to do for you. After you had done your research, there were several places you wanted to see, including the green landscape of Soto, the fishing village of Sint Michiel and countless restaurants, whether on the water or in various small villages. For Max, staying at the resort for most of the holiday would have been enough, but the joy on your face every time you got out of the car at a new place was the most beautiful thing he could imagine.

After two weeks in paradise, you finally headed back to Europe and France. Max had reserved a house for you and his family on the coast of Sardinia. The house was at least as impressive as the hotel on Curacao. On a small rocky outcrop, not too high above the water, it had an incredible view of the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets.

The pool invited both small and big to play and the men and children didn't let themselves be told twice. There was hardly a morning when you weren't woken up by a shrieking Elodie being thrown into the pool by Max or playing tag in the garden with Max's sister Victoria's older son.

After three long weeks away from the world, probably the most beautiful and relaxing weeks of your life, it felt strange to be back in your flat. The suitcases were still in the hallway half unpacked from the day before and Elodie was lying next to you on the sofa, head buried in your lap, she had fallen asleep with a smile on her face when the phone rang.

"Hello my beautiful." Max was already in bed and had snuggled into his pillow, smiling at you.

"Well how was your first day back at work?" Max rolled his eyes and slowly shook his head.

"I think you'll understand me when I say I'd so much rather be lying on a Caribbean island with you in my arms and Elodie playing in the sand next to us than here alone in bed in the middle of dreary Milton Keynes." You could understand that all too well. For you, too, everyday life began again the next day, as you would be working a shift at the café again for the first time in four weeks.

"Believe me, I understand. Elodie was very sad when she heard you were going to the race without us this weekend." Max yawned but quirked his eyebrows at the same moment.

"I know you probably don't want to hear this but she would technically have time to come along." You had explained to Max several times that you couldn't choose when the team needed you most and unfortunately weekends were often the most understaffed.

"Tell that to my boss." Max shook his head.

"No that's not what I meant. She knows my mum by now and they get on brilliantly. Besides, my sister and her husband are also at the track this weekend on Saturday and Sunday. So there would always be someone there to be with Elodie if I don't have time." You drew in a breath deeply and didn't expel it for the moment. you knew deep down that it probably wouldn't be a problem for Elodie to spend a weekend with just Max. Especially if you could talk on the phone. Still, there was this funny feeling in your stomach. It wasn't really a bad feeling though. It was mostly the realisation that Max was right. Elodie had taken Max's family to her heart very quickly and even if you weren't ready to take the next step, she was already at the point where she had no problem seeing Max as more than just a friend she spent a lot of time with.

"I know. But doesn't that distract you when you have to take care of Elodie on the side? And where is she going to sleep?" Max rolled his eyes.

"Well firstly I just told you my mum and sister are there, I mean it is my home race after all, secondly I wouldn't have suggested it if I thought she would distract me. On the contrary, I think it will be very nice if she is there. And thirdly, when you're not there, the right side next to me in bed is always so empty." A small smile flitted across your lips at his third point which told Max that he had persuaded you already.

"Okay." His eyes began to sparkle and he unwrapped his biggest grin.

"I'll be back home tomorrow at noon to get my stuff and the flight to Amsterdam was scheduled for 7pm, so we'll have plenty of time to pick up Elodie together after you finish work from kindergarten."

And he had been right. Max was at the door at 5pm when Café closed to give you a lift. He had brought his own luggage with him, while you had packed a few things for your little angel the night before. Not only Elodie was happy to see Max, but also her group leader at the kindergarten. Usually you picked up Elodie yourself or Max was there but sat in the car so as not to have to look for a parking space.

"Little bunny, your mummy and I have a surprise for you." Max walked ahead of you into your little flat and took his shoes off right next to the door as he had done ever since he first entered your falt many weeks ago. He helped Elodie get rid of her shoes before lifting her up and walking with her to the sofa. You were close on their heels.

"Maxy stay here." Elodie looked at you and Max alternately with wide eyes.

"No, little one. Max has to go to the race, but ..." you looked at Max, who was sitting next to you on the sofa, leaving him to break the happy news.

"Well, mummy has to work unfortunately, but we thought you could come with me alone. My mum is at the race and so is my sister Victoria. Remember, you had a lot of fun with them on holiday?" Elodie's eyes got all big and started to light up. She looked back and forth between you and Max, trying to gauge if she was really going to go with her Maxy to the race.

"Really?" You nodded and put a hand on the small of her back where Max's hand still lay. He put his hand on top of yours and also looked at you like Elodie, full of expectation.

"You're going to be four soon and I trust you to behave well for Maxy because you know he has quite a lot to do at the weekend. And if you're not with him, but with his mummy or Victoria, then you need to be just as sweet, ok?" Elodie freed herself from Max's arms and fell around your neck.

"Thanks mummy. You not coming?" Though her eyes still shone like the stars in the night sky, there was that little glimmer of sadness as she asked the question.

"No, bunny, I have to work."

"Do you think you can come with only me and without Mummy?" Elodie looked from you to Max and then back to you. Before she whispered shyly in your ear.

"Mummy is like being alone with you, only now being alone with Daddy. FaceTime?" Your eyes grew wide and you knew Max had heard every word too, as Elodie still hadn't figured out the actual meaning of whisper.

Max looked at you full of expectation, just like Elodie, and waited with bated breath for your answer. You weren't expecting it at all, at that moment. But what were you supposed to say? Actually, it was silly to think that Elodie would think otherwise. Max was with you all the time. You spent all the time you could together and on holiday the little girl had seen Max's nephews calling Victoria and her husband Mummy and Daddy. Of course she would learn from the two of them. And it wasn’t wrong either. All you wanted was for Elodie to have a father she could look up to and May had been just that over the last couple of months.

"Exactly, it's no different to spending time alone with Mummy." Both Elodie's eyes and Max's eyes started to sparkle when they heard your answer. Both probably for different reasons.

Max couldn't believe Elodie had just called him Daddy and you hadn't corrected her. His heart was beating so much faster than would be healthy for him, but hearing that word come out of Elodie's mouth while she was talking about him warmed his heart and made him all nervous. He loved the little bunny and would protect her with his life, just as he would you. And even though he expected a lot of things, become a father that day wasn’t on the list. But he liked it and in that moment he swore to himself that he would do everything to make you feel comfortable with it, because in the moment when the word had been spoken for the first time he could see this inner struggle taking place in your eyes, which also kept you from moving in with him. He put his arm around you and pulled you into his chest together with Elodie, while he gave both you a kiss on the temple. It was incredible for him how comfortable and at home he felt to have you in his arms.

-✨✨

It was strange for you to go through the day alone. Waking up on your first day without Elodie felt awful at first, until you got the grove of it and were able to enjoy some time to yourself. Something you hadn't had for years.

Only on the way to work was there this uneasy feeling. Somehow it didn't let up even at work. You felt a bit paranoid, kept looking out of the window, had the feeling that someone was watching you. But outside the window there were only the few tables spread out with a few guests and in the distance you could see the port of Monaco. Nothing different from a normal working day, you declared yourself crazy and told yourself that it was just unusual to be alone and not have Max or Elodie or anyone else around.

Especially on the way home after work it felt very crazy and strange and you turned around several times but everything was as usual. Except Elodie wasn't next to you. The train had its normal 5 minute delay, on the way from the station to your flat you met the same people as usual. Your head was just far too caught up in the situation of Elodie being with Max instead of you.

"Hi, Mummy!" Elodie waved at you through the phone you were balancing on your knees.

"Hello my darling." Max appeared next to the little one and waved at you too, but didn't say anything at first. "Did you have a good day?" Elodie nodded and began to talk about how she had been on the beach with Sophie and then later played football with Maxy, Charles and Lando in the Red Bull Hospitality until Lando accidentally broke a lamp and Christian was angry. The girl laughed and you could see the sparkle and enthusiasm in her eyes, which only confirmed that it had been the right decision to let her go with Max. After a while, Elodie handed Max the phone and made herself comfortable next to him on the bed. She was already in her pyjamas and snuggled under the covers and against Max and her plush bunny.

"She was really very good today. I honestly hardly saw her except for late afternoon. My mother is blown away by her and was blindsided when she heard Elodie say Daddy to me." Max ran his hand over his face, glancing briefly at Elodie, who had already closed her little eyes and appeared to have fallen asleep as well. It must have been an exciting day for her.

"How are you? Are you all right?" Max turned his attention back to you and spoke a little more quietly so as not to disturb Elodie.

"Yeah, everything's great here." You could tell by the look on his face that Max wasn't buying it. Max, on the other hand, could see that non-lightness in your eyes, that insecurity that had been with you all day.

"Oh, it's just weird without Elodie I guess. I think someone is looking at me all the time, but that's just because I'm alone and I'm not paying attention to Elodie, I'm paying attention to everything around me and it makes me feel weird. I'm sure that will get better from tomorrow." Max raised an eyebrow and looked at you urgently. Then he shrugged when you didn't show any further reaction.

"All right, yes, I think that may be it. But Y/N please, if there's anything wrong, call me. I'll always make the time, unless I'm in the car obviously. I know it must be weird for you to be alone, but you are never completely alone. Elodie and I are just a phone call away and I'll send you my mum's number and tell her to send you updates throughout the day so you always know what the little bunny is up to, ok?" It did reassure you a little that Max wasn't minimising the problem. He took you seriously. And even though it was probably just your head playing tricks on you, you knew you could always count on him.

"I wish I could be with you. I'm already counting the days until you're back here." You said goodbye to Max. Elodie was already fast asleep next to him when Max sent you a kiss through the camera. Only Friday and Saturday left, you thought to yourself. On Sunday, the two of them would be in your arms again in the evening.

But this strange feeling didn't leave you during the days. From the moment you woke up in the morning, to the way to work, at work, the way from Monaco back to Menton and also when you were back home in the evening. You tried to ignore it as much as possible and especially when you talked to Max on the phone so that he wasn't worried. He asked several times but either you ignored the question by changing the subject or you thanked his mother who actually sent you photos all the time every day.

"Y/N, the race is starting." Your colleague Aria was in the small staff room at the back of the shop, setting up the LapTop so that you could also watch the race from behind the counter. Now it was only hours until Max and Elodie were finally back home and everything would be okay again.

"What an incredible start from Max." Aria had never been very interested in Formula 1 until you met Max. Since then she watched every race and said of herself that she had become addicted to it. Even though you spent a lot of time in and around the sport because of Max, it was actually Aria who volunteered to watch every session from Friday to Sunday.

It was a rather quiet Sunday at the café, so you had plenty of time to watch the race. That was the first time that weekend that you felt a little better and your worries were almost completely forgotten. The doorbell let you know that someone had come into the little shop. Aria looked at you with pleading eyes whereupon you had to laugh.

"No one really would believe us that you are the one more engrossed in Formula One than me, whose boyfriend is riding along." Aria grinned at you and thanked you as you made your way to the sales room. But before you could take your place behind the counter you stopped, rooted to the spot just past the door to the staff room. For a moment you felt as if you had been transported back in time.

"Samuel?" The man took several steps towards you and tried to put a hand to your cheek, but you slapped it away.

"Why so aggressive my dear? Am I not allowed to greet my GIRLFRIEND when we haven't seen each other in so long." You shook your head and took a few steps back to get away from him. You hadn't noticed, however, that Aria had gotten up and was now standing behind you.

"I'm not your girlfriend. You left me alone. Walked away, I haven't been your girlfriend since the day you abandoned me." The man who was so unknown to you but somehow also so familiar shook his head.

"I don't remember us ever officially breaking up. So I still have the right to call you mine. Not just you but my daughter too." When he mentioned Elodie, your heart started beating faster. This was the first time this weekend that you were glad Elodie had gone to Zandvoort with Max, otherwise she would have been with you and Aria.

Aria pushed past you and pushed you back into the small office where the lap top was still running and you could hear the celebration as Max crossed the finish line followed by Fernando and in third place Charles.

"Samuel what are you doing here?" The man raised his hands and took a few steps back. His gaze moved from you to Aria and back to you again. He looked at you insistently, trying to intimidate you but he had been doing that for a long time and he knew it.

"I just came to get what is legally mine too. I want my daughter and then I'll be on my way." Your heart began to beat much faster and tears began to run down your face as he mentioned Elodie again. Was he maybe right? Did he have a right to take his daughter? After all, he had been registered as the father after the birth. What if he really could take her and just walk away?

"Boy, fuck off or I'll call the police. She hasn't been your daughter since the day you left her mother sitting alone with her with nothing in her hand but what she was carrying. Elodie is not here and you will not see her again." Aria reached for the phone. Samuel seized the moment to push past her and run toward you.

He grabbed your wrists and held them together tightly in one hand before grabbing your chin with the other, forcing you to look him in the eye. His eyes were saturated with aggression, violence and anger.

"Listen to me you stupid bitch. You have no right to just take my daughter and start a new family with Mr. Oh-So-Nice Verstappen. You're mine and that asshole can fuck off because I'm entitled to both of you." Your breath got stuck in your throat, you couldn't move and you couldn't say anything. The tears rolled down your face continuously, so much so that you could hardly see him in front of you. But you could smell him all the more for it.

"Hey asshole. The police are on their way. And we have cameras here that show exactly what you did. So if I were you, I'd get the hell out of here." Aria stood behind you with the phone in her hand and tried to pull Samuel off you by the upper arm. He pushed her off and came closer to you again. He rested his forehead on yours and then whispered in your ear.

"I will come again and next time I will take her with me." He pushed you off of him which knocked you out of your equilibrium weight. You landed with your hip on the corner of the table but the pain was only incidental. You just wanted Max to be here, falling into his arms and that he told you that everything would be all right.

Samuel had already disappeared from the café when Aria helped you up and took you in her arms. You stood there together for a few minutes until the clock in the café caught your eye. It was already after 5pm. It couldn't be much longer until Max was home. You freed yourself from Aria's arms and looked for your phone, which was still lying on the table next to the lap top. 2 missed calls from Max. 3 text messages.

Maxy ♥: Hey, everything okay with you?

Maxy ♥: Are you still at the café, busy?

Maxy ♥: Y/N please check in.

You: it's been very stressful. Please come home.

It didn't take you 10 seconds to have an answer from Max.

Maxy ♥: I still have some press. Should be there by 8:30pm at the latest.

Maxy ♥: Is everything alright?

You: Miss you 🙂

There was no answer to that. But you knew very well that Max probably turned to Gemma at that moment and gave her hell that they had to hurry because Max wanted to see you. Somehow you knew he could sense that all was not well.

"Okay, sweetie. Get cleaned up quick and then I'll take you back to my place. Max can pick up from there." Aria put her arm on your shoulder reassuringly. You took a few deep breaths. It almost seemed to you as if you hadn't taken a breath in the last half hour. Then you shook your head.

"Can you please just drive me home?" Aria tilted her head a little, seeming to weigh whether she should really take you to your place. Knew, though, that Max probably wouldn't be there long after you. Which is why she agreed.

The place was cleaned up quickly, since there were so few guests and you were able to clean up and stow away some stuff in advance for the next day during opening hours. Aria stopped her car right outside your front door.

"Just because I didn't call the police at the store and so just distracted him into leaving doesn't mean you can't call them if anything happens, okay?" She put her arm on your shoulder again reassuringly and finally took you in her arms as best she could as you nodded.

"I'm just glad I don't live in Monaco but here." This time Aria nodded. "I just wonder how he found out where I work. But I think if he saw me just once or knew someone who saw me, it's an easy game. I'm sure he still has friends in Monaco." Aria joined you in taking a deep breath in and out.

"Relax and look forward to Max and Elodie being back soon." She looked at the clock in her car. "It's just about an hour until you can give her a hug and then please tell Max everything, okay?" You had no idea how to tell Max without him going ballistic and probably putting a bounty on Samuel's head, but you knew there was no way around it because Max could read you like a book. You said goodbye to Aria, who waited until you were in the house before she left.

The apartment seemed strange to you somehow. You put on more comfortable clothes and sat down on the sofa, which seemed so empty without Max and Elodie, especially that day. The minutes passed like hours and as much as you tried to distract yourself you kept looking back at the clock. So 30 minutes passed in which you barely managed to read an article about the race that had already been published.

It was shortly after 8pm when the doorbell rang. It warmed your heart. There were only two doors separating you, Elodie and Max. With your phone in the hand you ran to the front door. Max had not texted you as normal that they had landed. He probably just wanted to get home quickly, which you couldn't blame him for.

You opened the door to the house downstairs for them and without waiting long you also opened the door to the apartment directly after. Probably Elodie had fallen asleep in Max's arms, which is why he had no hand free to look for his key. But not even three seconds passed that you regretted opening the doors without questioning your actions. You did your best to slam the apartment door shut, but his hand squeezed between the door and the frame, pushing it open with ease.

"I promised you I would come and get my daughter, didn't I?" Samuel tried to reach for you but you deftly dodged his hand and ran straight into Elodie's room which was right next to the doorway. You slammed the door behind you and turned the lock, which at the beginning when you moved into the apartment seemed stupid in a child's room, but now you were all the happier for it. Samuel could not react so quickly, because he did not expect you to resist so quickly. He knocked on the door.

"You can't hide in there. At some point you're going to have to come out and I'm going to be here. I'm going to take my daughter and give her a better life than she could ever have with a bitch for a mother. You don't stand a chance. Who would ever believe you over me, a successful manager?" Samuel didn't let up, banging on the door again and again. When it got quieter for a moment, you could hear his footsteps going into the kitchen. You were infinitely happy to have your phone in your hand and dialled Max's number, but he didn't pick up. You left him a voicemail.

"He's here." Your words were completely tearful. You were sure Max wouldn't even understand what you were talking about. "He wants to take Elodie. Max I'm scared please come." Before you could even send the message Samuel knocked on the door again.

"Come out you stupid bitch. I want my daughter. You don't deserve to hold her in your arms while I'm here after all." Your hands shook and for the first time in a very very long time you prayed that everything would be okay and imagined Max taking you in his arms. You didn't know how much time had passed. With your eyes closed and your fingers in your ears, you tried to block out the noise Samuel was making and concentrate on your breathing.

Only when it became suspiciously quiet outside did you dare to go to the door and put your ear to the wood to listen if Samuel was still there. You didn't know what time it was, you left your phone on the bed, but with all your strength you turned the lock as quietly as possible and opened the door very quietly.

The apartment door was the first thing that caught your eye. It was closed. Maybe he really did run away. This gave you the courage to open the door a little further, but you immediately regretted the decision. Samuel was standing on the other side next to the door and pushed the door open he pushed you backwards, you landed with your back on the floor while Samuel searched the room for Elodie. When he noticed that the girl was not in the room, he angrily turned to you and knelt with his knee between your legs. With one hand on your chest, he pushed you to the floor and didn't hesitate for a second to strike you with the other.

You couldn't defend yourself, you were already prepared for the blow and the pain that was about to hit you. But the blow never came.

"I sure hope I didn't just catch you getting violent with my girlfriend." His voice alone made you feel safe in your chest. Max pulled Samuel off you and gave him a good punch in the face with his fist. He staggered backwards and fell face first onto Elodie's small bed.

Max reached for you without hesitation. He lifted you up and carried you out of the room. Just as he arrived at the front door the policemen he must have called met you.

"He was violent towards her. Pinned her to the floor." Two of the four cops made their way into Elodie's room while the other two escorted you and Max downstairs to the car. Everything that happened after that was a big question mark for you. You couldn't remember it.

-✨✨

"Thanks, buddy. I really appreciate it." You were awakened by a conversation in the hallway. The clock next to the bed said it was already close to noon. You swung your legs over the side of the bed and walked to the door of the room. As you opened the door, Sassy snaked right around your legs. You patted the little one before making your way towards the voices.

"Did you have a good time at Charles' place." you could hear Max say.

"Yes, Daddy. Uncle Charles show me how to play piano and chocolate breakfast." The sound of your daughter's voice in your ears brought tears to your eyes. You walked around the corner and saw the three of them standing in the doorway. Charles saw you first.

"Hey, I'm glad you're okay." You couldn't say a word, just nodded. When Elodie realized who Charles was talking to, she let go of Max's hand and ran towards you.

"Mummy. Slept at Uncle Charles'." She jumped into your arms and then began to tell you how much fun she had with him last night and this morning.

"I'm glad you had a good time with him." Elodie gave you a kiss on the cheek and then jumped towards the cats. You stood back up and walked toward Charles to give him a hug.

"Thank you." Charles returned the hug.

"Sure thing. It was pure coincidence that our jets landed at the same time. When Max saw me and told me briefly what had happened ..." He faltered and swallowed. "The little bunny is always welcome to stay with me. So even if you ever need a babysitter." You could see the gleam in his eye when Charles spoke of Elodie. Your little one must have had that effect on the people around her. You nodded and then stood next to Max. He shook Charles' hand and then said goodbye.

Max took you by the hand and pulled you into the living room. He made himself comfortable on the sofa and then pulled you next to him on his chest.

"We're going to have a restraining order put on him. I've already talked to the lawyer. He won't be allowed within 100 yards of you. Aria told me what happened at the café. Luckily you have cameras there." Max put his fingers gently under your chin and forced you to look him in the eye. "I knew something was wrong when you wrote me and didn't answer my question, but you have to tell me. I would have flown out on the spot." You nodded and knew yourself that it had been stupid. You had already regretted it when you lay in Elodie's bed with your head under the covers and pressed into the pillow, praying that Max would hear your message and come quickly.

"I know. I'm sorry." Max put his lips gently on yours and stroked his hand parallel like a breath of fresh air over your hair.

"I think it's time we move in with you." Max raised an eyebrow and looked at you questioning. "Well I don't think it could have happened here like that. You have security and concierge services downstairs. Samuel would never have made it to the apartment." Max nodded understandably but saw directly the guilt in your eyes. In contrast, you could hear Elodie laughing and talking to the cats in the background which brought a small smile back to your lips.

"I would of course be very happy to share my home with you and the little bunny but Y/N none of what happened yesterday is your fault. The man is deranged, had been stalking you the last few days since Elodie and I flew to Zandvoort and documenting your every move. The feeling you had that someone was watching you, that wasn't just paranoia because you were alone. I'm so sorry I didn't take it seriously, but how could we have ever known? Neither you nor I could have seen it. He would have gone right ahead if I had been there. But the police confiscated his phone and found all the evidence necessary to convict him. Believe me, he'll never come near you again. Not if I have anything to do with it, okay?" You could hardly believe that you had been so lucky to have met Max. Even though it hadn't been long but Max made your life so much better and Elodie had him wrapped around her little finger from day one anyway.

"I love you." You put your hand on the back of his neck and pulled him a little closer to you so you could put your lips on his again. "I've never felt so comfortable in another person's arms. With all that had happened yesterday I just kept thinking about you and that I could count on you to be there to save me. I just knew it because ..." It took a while to realize it but you finally knew what you had found in Max. That one person who would have your back through thick and thin and get you out of any situation, no matter how stupid. The person you wanted to have with you when it felt like the world was against you and no one would listen to you but him. Max was what you had imagined as a little girl when you thought of a husband and the father of your future children. "I knew it because I can always count on you. You love us at least as much as we love you and would never let anything happen to either of us." Max beamed at you. It was almost scary how wide his grin stretched across his face.

"Okay, you definitely need to spend less time with Daniel. That grin definitely doesn't look so out of place on his face." Max laughed out loud and then tickled your hips, making you laugh too. Elodie could hear you and wanted to see why you were both laughing. As she stood in front of you Max stops tickling you.

"Daddy, want too." Max shook his head.

"I have a better idea. I have a surprise for you and Mummy." Elodie's eyes lit up at the word surprise as you furrowed your eyebrows and looked at Max asking. He carefully stood up and pulled you to your feet beside him as well. Max pulled Elodie up so that she was at eye level with you before walking off with you holding his hand. He stopped again in front of the door of the guest room where Elodie had slept the last time after the Belgian Grand Prix.

"I honestly didn't think it would happen so quickly that you would agree to move in with me. So I focused on the weakest link, because as we've said before, if Elodie doesn't want to leave, then you have no choice but to stay." Elodie looked at Max in confusion while you raised your one eyebrow. Max grinned back at you and then let Elodie open the door.

The room was unrecognizable. What had once been a loveless guest room was now a paradise for a soon-to-be four-year-old little girl. The bed in the corner was surrounded by an accent wall in a dark forest green. The bed itself was slightly larger than Elodie's bed had been in your apartment. Level a real big girl bed, as Elodie had called it when she asked you when she was going to get another bed. On the bed were several stuffed animals, including an elephant, a monkey, a lion, a dinosaur and a giraffe, as well as several small and slightly larger pillows. On the wall next to it was a small desk with a rabbit lamp, some colouring books, and endless crayons. Next to it was a shelf with many different books, the background on the wall painted in the same colour as the accent colour around the bed. Across from the bed, right next to the door, was a closet in which a few new dresses, pants and T-shirts were already hanging.

"I was already planning with my mum in the weeks leading up to summer vacation, and while we weren't here she met with an interior designer who was able to bring my vision to life." Tears formed in your eyes. They were tears of joy though. Joy that your daughter had a father who loved her and did everything he could to make sure that not only you but also she was well and could have a carefree childhood.

"I love it." Elodie, meanwhile, jumped from corner to corner in the room and eventually stopped at the desk where she opened one of the colouring books and began to colour.

"Elodie, what do you say?" The little bunny turned around in her new desk chair and then jumped toward Max, who got down on his knees to give the little girl a big hug.

"Thank you daddy. It perfect." She gave him a kiss. When Max let go of Elodie again so she could continue painting, you saw tears in his eyes for the first time. You put a hand on his back. He looked up at you and then stood up beside you, one hand on your cheek the other on your hip.

"I love you both. You are the most beautiful gift I have ever received." With a little kiss on the corner of his mouth, you put your arms around him and pulled him close to you. Your head on his chest so that you could hear his heart beating. Right there, that was your home. With Elodie next to Max and there was nothing more that you could have ever asked for.

"We love you too."

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