Personal Poem Diary

And your hearts a faulty guide.

How to remember what’s forgot?

Where to run when you can’t hide?

Can you resist the temptation,

Of all you know as pain?

Although you crave the sensation,

Don’t put yourself through it all again,

But this man sings so sweet,

And his eyes warm your soul.

Though your lips did never meet,

Talking to him makes you feel whole.

So I say, well what’s the harm?

What’s the worst that he can do?

Let him wooo you with his charm,

Self worth is not measured

By how you stitch yourself up

Once broken.

But how your love can still burst through the seams.

How your glow cannot be contained.

And I’m just learning.

I’m scared to look up, For who knows what I’ll see, A walking fire of lies, Ready to burn me.

But it’s what I deserve, right?

You traced over my scars, Promised me you’d be kind, Taught me a new love, And I beamed and I shined.

I deserve it though, right?

I trusted once more, What a fucking fool, Because you took my heart, And snapped it in fucking two.

Don’t I deserve this though, right?

There’s a hole in my heart, In fact, my heart is no more, I guess you can’t break, What was broken before.

I don’t deserve this.

I feel weak, I feel lost.

Insomnia.

Beautiful promises, Said with no hesitation, And a twinkle of the eye. Speak them and call it the truth.

I’m in love with the rain, Her knocking on my window, Drowns out the sound of my tears, As they fall on my pillow.

I’m frightened of the wind, And the strength she beholds, She whispers the secrets, Which must never be retold.

Women blossom like flowers When they’re nurtured and loved, When they’re safe and sheltered, But still allowed room to grow. And just like flowers, They’re admired and desired, A gift of pure beauty Derived from nature. Now, although they’re magical, You don’t cut them from their roots, As a result of your greed, And your possessive needs, For their petals begin to wilt, Falling one by one, The life drained from their stems, Exhausted and defenceless.

I once was in love with a boy who was mad,

He darkened my world, left me broken and sad,

He taught me that power was made to be abused,

That loyalty was a thing not everyone would choose,

He made me believe I was worthless and low,

But my love blinded me and I wasn’t to know,

Now the scars that line my skin remind me constantly,

That the only love my heart needs, is the love from me

My skin glitters,

Reflecting tiny beams,

Microscopic stories,

And never ending dreams.

My ears, buzzing,

Replaying every sound,

Every word, every movement,

Echoing all around.

My eyes twinkle,

Searching deep within your soul,

Glistening with delight,

As they watch you unfold.

My heartbeat quickens,

When I hear your name,

A million pressing thoughts,

“I need to see him”,

She whispers with blood shot eyes,

“I need to see him,

So I know where my love lies”.

“Not with him”, I say,

My voice cracking with defeat,

“Not with him”, I plead,

“He’s a liar and a cheat”.

The heart can’t be helped,

Just ignored and abused,

The heart doesn’t care,

Who you wanted to choose,

Life’s full of ‘what if?’s,

And ‘what now?’ and ‘what then?’

But the heart only asks,

And truth be told,

I should’ve learnt my lesson,

When I was 17 years old,

See my honour, my pride,

My dignity,

Was murdered, attacked,

Stolen from me,

And can you blame me?

For drinking so much?

When all that I loved,

Called me a whore and a slut,

See I drink to forget,

When I forget, I stress,

It’s a never ending circle,

And I’m a fucking mess,

Now my mental health is better,

The memories aren’t a problem,

The binge drinking’s still there,

But it’s not as often,

The alcohol numbs the pain,

But now there’s no pain to numb,

What’s the point in this habit?

Dancing through the air,

Floating through our hair,

Whisking life away,

Forcing us to stay,

Singing us to sleep,

Causing us to weep,

Soothing our anxiety,

Ruling our society,

Stomping on our hearts,

Then sewing up the parts,

Crushing down our dreams,

Destroying self esteem,

Circling through our soul,

Building up our goals,

Spoken with a shrug,

Cautious of the wind,

I learnt to forgive,

As my patience as thinned,

Now when the wind blows,

I dance through the breeze,

My confidence grows,

Now I see

Blind eyes

Can’t fool me

“I love”

Yes it’s true

I’m broken

Without you

“The fire”

It won’t die

But you fuelled it

With lies

“I could”

Now I can

Must stick

I fell in love one winters night, With snowflakes in the air, A boy with not so many words, But a cold and chilling stare, He took my hand and guided me, Through the dark and dusty streets, And though he was just a stranger, In his company I felt at peace.

We adventured through the city, Our secrets shyly exposed, A mutual attraction was forming, Or so I naively supposed, His stare became less chilling, And filled my heart with adore, Yet he had a different agenda, And became thirsty for more.