The Mythosphere

I know this is probably something that most people already know. But this is the first time I've had a crush on someone that I know. A crush that has lasted with me for over a few weeks, and in fact has now(counting just from when I realized I had a crush and not from when I probably really started liking them) lasted me over 5 months.

It's getting really hard on me for some reason right now, and I still don't know why. I think that it is because I have realized that a part of me will always have this "crush"(or shall I say be in love, because really this is probably turning into one of those shitty unrequited love stories) All because they were the first person to tell me I was beautiful. Made me feel like I mattered. Like I meant something more than just a friend. Made me feel special.

I have now come to realize this is how they treat most people and that I am not really some of those things, but In a way I still get those feelings when I talk to them. feelings of just friendship that I don't get from other people.

Sometimes I wish I could just come out and say it. Just tell them "hey, I kind of have these feelings for you, that aren't just friendly." but its hard enough when I am second guessing even trying to be a little touchy feely with them because I don't know what is too much, and if it is okay to want to hold hands, put my head on their shoulder, something. how far is the friendship line/what ever they place me as go? what am I supposed to do?

I suppose another pretty hard part of this that I am struggling with, is that I still don't know where I stand with only myself. I consider my self currently Bi-sexual, with a slight lean toward hetero-romantic, but am I really? Is it fair of me to label myself so just because I have this serious crush on a girl? a girl that knows that she is in fact interested in just girls? How can I come out, if I don't know where I'm supposed to come out to?