Curled up in one of the large chairs set out by the library fireplace; I found myself lost to the first edition of Hogwarts: A History I had discovered on one of the shelves. I was in awe of the first hand recollections about the founders of the school I had grown to see as a second home, the two witches and their male counterparts had left hundreds of letters and I discovered much to my delight that the first edition had published extracts of their letters discussing their individual wishes for what they wanted Hogwarts to be. The two wizards, Godric and Salazar were like oil and water but I couldn't help but notice that they worked well together which made me wonder? Had the two houses had such different views that they would end up coming together centuries later because each side when brought together completed the other. Page after page was read before I rose to make some Oolong tea in the beautiful kitchen; and once more doing the simple task had me thinking of Draco and the Manor. I missed how excited the House Elves who worked in the had been to care for me; down to the way they would make paper flowers for my biscuits to rest on when serving afternoon tea… I had come to think as the manor house in Wiltshire as my home and as the saying goes? Home is where the heart is - and.. Draco held my heart, something I had discovered all too late as he had once more fallen into the arms of Astoria Greengrass. Yet; there my heart will remain because once given; then such a gift cannot be returned for it’s no longer anything I can possess. Sipping my tea, I looked out of the windows and the Muggles going about their day unaware of the turmoil England’s green and pleasant land had nearly been destroyed by Voldemort and his followers. They saw the magic in the story books I loved as children that had to me seemed so colourful, so wonderful talking of the Faraway Tree, Narnia or even the Beauty and her Beast. Those authors who had brought worlds to life now had me wondering; had they known the truth of our world? Perhaps they were squibs, or were witches and wizards themselves - if I hadn't fled, I could imagine Draco would have conversed with me and educated me further on those of our world who hid amongst Muggles weaving fiction from truths. Perhaps, after some rest with the aid of some Dreamless Sleep to darken the nightmares and memories; I could send a letter to Harry at Grimmauld Place. I was sure my best friend would see if there were anything about such tales in the books Sirius and Regulus Black had kept there. Given their combined thirst for knowledge even if Regulus had been loyal to Voldemort? I had every confidence there would be something.. Or perhaps there would be books at Hogwarts itself.. When it came to knowledge, I was as I had always been: insatiable. If I lost myself in my search for answers then maybe I wouldn't have a free moment to think about what could have been. What… what could have happened if we had followed our hearts rather than the demands of what was right and proper for both myself and Draco. Except. I couldn't go to them; I'd turn my back on magic.. hadn't I. My tea cup sat forgotten on the antiquated pine kitchen table, my drink’s umber shine becoming a pool for reflections, the time wasted boiling the kettle on the stove infuriating me more than it should have. I wasn't accustomed to being alone anymore. First with Harry and Ron at my side, then Draco and at times Blaize Zabini when he returned from Italy..then living with Ron until.. “Until the truth came out and Draco Malfoy got to be the Prince Charming in the fairy tale…” My thirst dried up, my stomach seeming to do a somersault leaving me sick to my stomach had me fall into the farm style chair at the head off the table whilst I willed my body to not rebel against me. It wasn't to be as the nauseousness intensified and I sobbed my heart out with only the spartan walls to bear witness to my heartbroken cries and pitiful utterances for Draco to take me home to Wiltshire and its library and house elves who had cared for me like I was a child at times. Just like my Mother would so long ago. There it was. The first foolish thing I had done that had led to me being alone with my thoughts. Obliviating my parents to such an extent that it was seen to be impossible to restore the memories of Wendell and Monica Wilkins without their being a risk as large as one of Charlie's dragons that they'd end up in the same ward as Neville's parents. As much as I loved and missed them; I couldn't be selfish for a second time and try to make them remember they were my parents. But. What I would do for them to be here and give me the largest cuddle I had ever known was currently quite extensive and not necessarily legal in Wizarding law in several countries around the world. I would know; I researched the laws of Great Britain, the United States, Australia and Central Europe before Horcrux hunting during my Sixth year at Hogwarts. Be prepared for all eventualities etcetera etcetera. Laughing sadly (of which I can confirm is a real thing) I looked at my reflection with a high level of scorn and contempt for myself. I sure as Hell isn't a place for Hippogriffs be prepared to find myself alone with an ex-fiancé seeming to have turned to the dark, and a former Death-Eater reclaiming his place as the love of my life. I had to get myself up and out of this chair and make my way through this beautiful house I can now call my own. I had to return to the library and look at the first edition of Beauty and the Beast that had some plates printed within its pages that you could easily be tricked into believing they were alive! I lost myself to the words of the book, loving how the bookworm blossoms under the love and care of first her Father and then those wonderful souls within the Prince’s home. I had read this story so many times, both in English and it’s original language; French and become utterly captivated by this fairy tale that; from my first days at Hogwarts started to feel just a little more believable. After all, how many times did I see the suits of armour and other pieces of history within the castle move by themselves? I wanted to ask Draco about it, to see the look of utter joy he too finds in books that had initially drawn us together when we had shared letters over the Summer months what seemed a lifetime ago. For a moment, I wondered if I should tell him where I was, what I was doing and how...how much it hurt to lose him from my life again. Again. Five letters. One world. A lifetime of pain to experience from the loss of Draco when I was still afraid for my safety from Ron, and whoever these Knights of Walpurgis were. I cradled the book to me as I read over the same lines repeatedly where Belle is experiencing the change in the Beast over the winter - not necessarily a favourite of everyone I imagine but I found myself captivated. The Beast lets down his barriers, allowing Belle to see his playful side and it for a moment took me back to when Harry, Ron and I had come across Draco with Crabbe and Goyle and scared them all with Harry throwing snowballs from beneath his Invisibility cloak. I couldn’t stop laughing as I remembered the look on their faces, it had been the first time I saw Draco Malfoy in a new light and from then on; I had found myself looking out for the Slytherin Prince. “Merlin, I think I loved him before I even truly understood what was happening. He’s been a part of my life since I was that infuriating first year who cared so much for books and not so much the world around me. Oh… Draco, I wish you were here.” I hadn’t noticed till then that the old pages of the book by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve that I’d noticed to be only a year after its first publication were now now covered with wet marks..where my tears had fallen and landed on the book that in so many ways reminded me of how I had changed since coming aware of the Magical world that now felt like my true home. Tears weren’t going to ease my sorrow, and clearly the book wasn’t aiding me in my distraction of what had happened. I didn’t know what to do anymore; and called out for Melly, unsure if the House Elf who was so loyal to Draco would hear me; or be permitted to come to me. If she did, I would break only one of the promises I’d made to myself. I would tell Draco where I was but wouldn’t permit him to enter the home.. Though there was a sensation I couldn’t shake off that there was more to this mysterious house that had become my home and it focused solely on Draco and I - that much I knew. “To coin a saying from Alice.. Stranger and stranger…” I murmured softly and drew myself in from the cold of the room as I felt a wave of nausea that was so strong hit me and I slid into an unsettled sleep.
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