going full adult

I discovered that if you lose a game badly enough in the online magic the gathering, you get an achievement for it. I managed to get a screenshot of just how badly I got my ass beat:

For those who don't play, the numbers at the top and the bottom are my health and my opponent's health. Both players start with 20 health and the goal is to get your opponent's health down to zero. At the end of the game, my opponent had 189 health, and beat me right through the foundations of the earth, leaving me with -888 health. My precious record of how badly I got beat into the negatives was -43.

Champion of Eorzea, blessed by the Mothercrystal. You've bested tyrannical warlords, fearsome dragons, and god-like beings. You've liberated nations, aided in their restorations. You rub shoulders with their leaders and the common folk alike. With every victory, every adventure, every grand feat, your legend grows. Everyone knows your name. Everyone knows what you've done. Everyone knows what you're capable of doing.

'It's the blessing of Hydaelyn,' they say; 'the power of the Echo,' 'the unwavering soul of Azem'. Only the Warrior of Light could do what you do, only someone destined to usher change and defend the very star from destruction. Allies and enemies alike agree; there is nobody like the Warrior of Light.

But that's where they're wrong. You may be special, or chosen, or destined... but you don't feel that at all. All you feel is the pedestal you never asked to be put on. The perceived gap between you and them is staggering. They think you untouchable; so far removed from human you must be a god, or something greater. You aren't a person to them any more. You're a symbol. An idea. A concept. Intangible.

black hair? check. bad parent(s)? check. trauma? double check.

bruce: how’d you get your scar?

zuko: my dad got mad at me for saying that killing people is wrong so he lit my face on fire and banished me.

J: "wan na kno w h ow i go t thes e sc ar s"

Consider

Iroh: you too must learn patience. Boiling the water ruins the delicate flavor of the white jade

Alfred: oh I'm dreadfully sorry - for some reason I expected this tea to have TEA in it

(later)

Alfred: *aggressively laying out full tea service with milk, lemon, sugar, and, just to drive his point in, jam*

while Zuko is enthusiastic about cream and sugar