definitely a licensed wizard

these hips don't lie but the truths they tell are strange and disquieting

real wizard shit

*snaps my fingers, and on some random freeway, a fuel tanker truck is instantly rotated 180 degrees*

constantly making airy offhand comments to my preferred younger son about how he’s next in line for the throne after his brother but he still hasn’t killed my detested firstborn for me. kids these days have no fucking initiative.

I keep sending them off on “boar hunts” together and wouldn’t you know? they keep coming back after with big smiles and boar heads and the unmistakable stench of brotherly camaraderie. what sick sad days are these!

[ID: a meme of a wizard in front of a cauldron of blue fire. top text: you fool. bottom text: i cast poorly cropped image. the image is cropped poorly. /end ID]

Curse that puts you in a Cybertruck

spellcasting isn't like academia it's like writing. spellcasting is about saying "you know what would be really fucked up?" and then making it happen anyway. because you can.

my spellcaster's license has been revoked by the board of magical ethics .

@gopsnippers

every time you reblog one of my posts another wizard spawns somewhere on this earth

this post counts btw

god if there was a book of forbidden spells I wouldn’t even hesitate