I don't think I'll ever stop loving you. You've turned out to be worse than I thought in certain ways, but i can't really blame you. I don't know what I would've done in that situation if i were you, but i doubt i would've done much different. It's rough being true to yourself, making your girlfriend AND your family happy. I'm sorry that during that time, nobody comforted you the way that you should have been and I'm sorry for being so blind.
Truth is, I can't let my guard down. I can't show you my true nature. My loyalties would not allow me because if I did, I would betray them. Not only her, but my boyfriend too. My friends, my parents, they'd pity me for still loving you. I cannot tell anyone I love you. I'd tell you, but I don't think I can be vulnerable in that manner with you ever again, let alone act on those feelings.
I wish we were end game, that we married and were happy, that the circumstances were different. But I cannot tell you and you will never know. Not a single soul will. If I wasn't friends wit her, if i didn't have to see your family or explain anything to mine, if I knew we'd work out, I would allow myself to turn back to you. Alas, that is a far reach and it'll never happen. So until then, you shall remain in my heart, mind and dreams, as my almost. My forever love, the one who got away. The one I was meant to marry but now remain as an awaiting bride at the altar, waiting for the groom who shall never arrive as he only exists in her imagination. A work of fiction, perhaps. An imagine based of someone she knows, but a work of art regardless, which will never come to life. No matter how much I bite and scream and scratch, it'll never be true.
How I wish it did, as it was almost there, a fleeting feeling on my finger tips, enough for me to feel its extasy, but not enough for me to keep it, to have any kind of control or say in it. It was all in your control, the way things were going, but also my feelings. I


















