My poetry dump

Sometimes its a clear cut event.

Often its not.

Sometimes you just have a stressed mother and too many emotional responsibilities.

Sometimes you are alright until the pressure stops, and you realise how bad it was. And then it gets worse.

I catch myself wishing it was something else. Something easier. More defined. Understandable.

Not this puddle of muddy water that never drains. The silent omnipresent hum I hear when I'm left alone.

And I wish, from the bottom of my heart and the top of my brain, that I could solve it. Like a puzzle game on the phone, or a cross word in the magazine. Like all those murder mysteries I grew up with, and the research questions I've devoted my life to solving.

God is randomness

Probabilities and experiments

Nothing more than a roll of dice, a flip of coin

When everything feels like too much, all at once, with all its weight

And even the air wants to choke you, crush you, suffocate you

When you feel like the only way to survive is to run away but you're too exhausted to do so

Let go of this reality and dive into the cosmos, among the stars, between the nebulae

Grab a floating tire and use it to keep you afloat and focus on the nothingness

Let it wash against your face and cool you down, soak your toes and kiss your back

He took me for a walk to see the city and all its lights

The tall lamps on the side of park roads

Lit up windows reflecting from the water at the beach

Traffic lights on big streets

And huge neon company signs pasted all over buildings reaching for the sky

We talked a lot but nothing too special

I liked it, enjoyed it

You can take me away

from all i loved and cared for

from the place I’ve made mine

with shiny things, colorful things

like a bird decorating its nest

But I’ll warn you

Where I go, my colours follow

I will be the red chiffon scarf fluttering in the wind

the jewels on the rims of sunglasses

and the yellow handbag

After the longest time of barely breathing, eating out of necessity and sleeping because i had to, I got a break.

Light some candles and turn off the lights

Take off the shiny, heavy stones on your earlobes

Remove the watch from your wrist and put on the softest cardigan you own

Make yourself a nest of blankets and pillows, banish everything heavy and sharp and hard

For this one night when only you matter

Do you ever just listen to something

so powerful and deep and emotional

that it rips your heart from your chest

and stitches it back almost simultaneously

But you feel so alive

In the beginning

Mother Nature made the night sky

Knitting it from the softest cashmere yarn

Dark blue and warm

As she worked the yarn

She added something special

Weaving in luminous colored threads

Calling them aurora

After binding off the last stitches

She sewed rhinestones to the sky

With a precise needle 

To shine as stars

And when she was done

She laid it on the new born Earth

Tucking in her child for the first night

Isn’t it weird how just a little ray of sunshine

can change the whole day

bring new hope

and ease our existence

I can breathe freely again despite the cold winter air shocking my lungs

And even though I slip on the ice I feel like walking all the way to the sea shore

to watch the birds being fed by old ladies and young children

There is magic in every small light

A tiny spell in every twinkle

Calmness, concentration, comfort and care

In a swaying candle flame

Wonder, safety, joy and peace

In sparkling fairy lights

Power, life, wisdom and imagination

In far away stars