ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅ ɴɪɴᴇ

{ – Staring at the steaming foil-wrapped sweet potato that was in the other’s hand, she was confused on why she was going to need one. “Huh? For what?” Myungeun peered up at the male and raised a brow. “Are you saying that I need to eat? Or…are you giving this to me so it can help warm up my hands?” She heard his thoughts of how it was beginning to burn his palm so she decided to take it off his hands. The young girl just dipped her head in a gesture of a small bow as she reached for the sweet potato with her right hand and her left hand tucked underneath. “Thank you, sunbaenim.” She spoke quietly, still curious on why she was being given this.

{ – It’s because I heard your thoughts… Was what she wanted to say, but a small chuckle just passed through her parted lips before she responded sheepishly, “Ah? Is that so? Great minds think alike that’s why.” 

Myungeun’s distant facial expression went unmoved as she danced in-sync with the other seven members in front of the mirror. She can hear it; all of them had thoughts focused on their movements, which soon became her own thoughts. The young girl felt the sweat bead on her forehead. She tried to keep her breathing even. Keeping her eyes locked on herself in the mirror, she caught the mistake that she made. Then she heard a sigh in her head and she knew. She knew they were going to have to stop and start again from the top. Before Baby Soul even spoke, Myungeun had already stopped dancing. “We have to do it again. Myungeun-ah, you have to keep your arms straight. Do not get lazy and just fling your arm in any direction you please…”

Myungeun nodded her head slowly before she dipped her head down a degree, a short apology leaving her lips. The music started again and Baby Soul counted down. The eight of them began to dance once again. 1am. I just want to go to sleep already… She thought to herself. The choreography was burned into her memory, so she just danced, but failed to do it cleanly from time to time. She knew her careless actions would keep them in the dance studio until dawn, so she put it in her best interest to focus on what she was doing. When they got through the choreography without any mistakes, their manager clapped his hands. “You ladies can rest for now…” There was a collective sigh of relief from the eight of them. Feet dragged to different areas of the studio. Myungeun went to the back of the room and dragged her back down against the wall. Running a hand through her hair, she closed her eyes.

She opened up her eyes and stared blankly at the glossy floor as she blindly reached in her bag for her towel. She wiped her away the sweat from her face before wrapping it around the back of her neck. Regaining her breath, she grabbed her iPod and headphones and slipped them over her ears. She didn’t want to hear any thoughts because she was too tired. When she scrolled through her iPod, a news article title caught her eye. BTS confirms comeback in February. Myungeun sighed heavily and put down her iPod on her lap. It was going to happen. She already felt in in her bones. Why does she have the same stage name as our oppa? She needs to change her stage name because that’s our oppa’s name. Jin oppa is older than her she should just change her stage name.

Rubbing the palms of her hands over her face, she sighed once more. She didn’t ask for the stage name Jin, nor did she know that the member of one of the country’s most popular groups would have the same name. Every time she heard those thoughts, she had wished she had a different stage name or she went by her real name. At least for the sunbae, Jin was in his real name. Myungeun was just given Jin by the company. She was flattered that she could share the stage name with someone so famous, but she disliked all the unspoken hate that she got for it. The young singer would always remember the time when she heard a fan say Seokjin oppa? Lovelyz’s Jin? Oh…I thought they meant our oppa… Who the hell is she?! Who the hell is Lovelyz?

          { -- Myungeun tilted her head to the side a little as her eyebrows furrowed together. She found herself stumped by what the older female had just said. “Wait...what?” She tilted her head in the other direction and squinted her eyes. “I don’t get it...” The young girl muttered quietly. “If I’m grateful one moment, why would I expect more the next? Wouldn’t that just gradually turn into dependency? Gratitude will only then become nonexistent at that point...” Myungeun still felt confused as she moved her gaze to look at the older female before her.

        { –Holding the phone close to her ear, Myungeun listened carefully to other female’s voice. “I bet you’ve missed the familiar tastes of the food from your hometown…” She responded as she averted her gaze upwards. “I’m just glad that you get the chance to return home after your promotional period. You and your group worked hard!” She nodded her head even though the other wouldn’t be able to see it. “Do you think you can bring me back some of your favorite snacks when you return to Seoul?” A soft laugh passed through her lips after she made the suggestion.

Jiyeon ignored any possible rational thought in her head. She wasn’t going to give in. She was going to hold her ground and she was going to be heard even if it killed her on the inside to have any sort of disagreement to the person she felt closest to on the face of this planet. Her heart was crying but there was no way she was going to be a pushover this time. If she didn’t let her words ring through, this was only going to happen again and again and again. Even the rational side of her brain had to agree the excuse itself was a rather lame one. It was clear the younger girl didn’t even attempt to try to remedy the situation. In Jiyeon’s eyes, her taking a nap during downtime just gave Myungeun the perfect opportunity to go running off with her boyfriend once again. The thought gave Jiyeon an unsettling feeling in her stomach. “You’re only sorry because I’m still standing here now. I bet you wouldn’t have apologized if I never woke up while you were gone.” She took in a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves. Yes she was mad but she was more so incredibly sad and hurt. The last thing she wanted to do was raise her voice and potentially break something while waking up every single soul inside the dorm. Why drag the other members into her petty jealously? “You know we all take small naps whenever we get the chance. You. Know. This. That doesn’t mean you couldn’t have woken me up. You already do it all the time whenever I’m having bad dreams. This isn’t that different.” With a sigh, Jiyeon had to turn her head away. This sight was all too depressing and the last thing she wanted was to be caught crying. If tears were spotted, it would have to force Jiyeon to admit inner feelings and thoughts that she didn’t want to dive in to. “This was supposed to be our special time together. You already spend all your free time with him. Why is it there’s no more room left for me in your life? What did I do that was so wrong that you had to go running away the first chance you get?”

Myungeun’s head quickly snapped up when she can hear the hurt in her voice in the questions she directed towards her. “I-It’s not that there’s no room for you. I just...end up making him a priority...when I know I shouldn’t. You should always come first, but I make the mistake of not doing so..” She spoke slowly, in a quiet voice. Pursing her lips, her eyes searched the other girl’s face. She worried if she made any steps closer to her unnie, she would end up screaming and waking the others . Myungeun felt guilt stir within her, her palms began to sweat from how nervous she was feeling. She knew her unnie’s abilities and she didn’t want it to stir any trouble in the dorm. Myungeun sighed when she realized she was worrying about something irrelevant. This moment was about her and Jiyeon alone. No one else, but she kept on worrying about the others. Why am I like this...? She thinks in her head.

Bracing herself, Myungeun walked closer to the older girl and squatted down in front of her. Eye to eye, the younger eased a subtle smile on her lips. “You did nothing wrong... It’s me who has been in the wrong for putting oppa first..” She wrapped her arms around her knees and looked down at the floor. “I guess whenever I find the opportunity to be with him, I take it and I don’t think about prior engagements since he’s always busy with his own schedules...” Myungeun knew she sounded ridiculous, but she couldn’t bring herself to lie further to the other. She either had to be honest or not at all. 

Inhaling deeply, she raised her gaze back up to Jiyeon. “I’m still sorry. I would have apologized in the morning when you woke up, you know...” She spoke in a quiet voice. “I’m really sorry that I’ve done nothing but disappoint you. I’m supposed to be your best friend, but it looks like I’ve failed to be just that.” The younger girl sat on her behind and reached out to grab the other’s hands in her. “I’m sorry, Jiyeon unnie...” She repeated her apology once more.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. It was faint but Jiyeon could hear a ticking clock from outside of the dorm. She wasn’t sure where but she heard it. It was the only sound she could hear and it was driving her insane. Jiyeon didn’t want to be jealous. She didn’t want to be that person. She tried so hard but it wasn’t enough. Jiyeon was jealous. This was supposed to be their time. She wasn’t supposed to be this late. Jiyeon wasn’t supposed to get stood up. And yet she was… It was all pushing her towards the dark void of her mind she always tried to avoid. With a sigh, she crossed her arms, glaring at the wall and sang a tune all too sad but relevant.  “It’s over, isn’t it? Isn’t it? Isn’t it over? It’s over, isn’t it? Isn’t it? Isn’t it over? You won and she chose you and she loved you and she’s gone. It’s over isn’t it? Why can’t I move on?” She stopped her singing, her ears picking up on faint footsteps from outside down the hall. Two pairs of footsteps to be precise. It was just adding salt to her already stinging wound. How much more could this be rubbed in her face? She could feel herself glaring more and more at the wall as the sound of the door opening came to grace her ears. Myungeun’s pathetic acting only added insult to injury.  “I don’t know, Myungeun. Why am I up so late? Why am I stood up? Why am I suddenly forgotten? You tell me because I don’t have the answers you seek.”

Myungeun felt her blood run cold when she heard the words the left the older’s mouth. Dammit... I thought... She stopped mid-thought and her eyes glanced over to the side, the young girl too ashamed to look directly at the older from that point on. The two had made plans to go out that night to watch a movie. But with prior schedules their group had to attend, the older female had resorted to taking a nap when they had returned back to the dorm; resulting in Myungeun thinking that it meant their plans were cancelled. 

“I--I’m sorry, unnie...” The short-haired girl looked down at her feet and sighed quietly. She knew that her apology was going to go out one ear and out the other for Jiyeon, so Myungeun kept herself from saying it a few more times. “I didn’t forget you. You ended up taking a nap and it was getting late to the point that we were going to miss our movie, so I decided to make plans with oppa...” It was a pathetic excuse, but the young girl was being honest. But a part of her was expecting Jiyeon to start getting mad at her. 

Swallowing the lump that developed in her throat, she tried not to listen to Jiyeon’s thoughts because she already had an idea what they were filled with. She peeked up to get a glance of the older, but quickly diverted her eyes back down when she caught the other female glaring at her. “I’m sorry...” Myungeun whispered another apology.

        [ TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ] a pretty girl like this? His mother would not be proud of him. But Ma thinks you’re dead, remember? He thinks to himself as a bitter reminder that his life will never be the way it used to. He briefly wonders if she’d understand, given his situation. But it’s also very unlikely that she’d ever get the chance of an explanation. “Do you always treat random people to meals?” He asks, a sing - song in his voice and a smile on his lips. It’s getting harder and harder by the day to keep up such a sunny disposition, but he’s getting by, wasn’t he? “I’m Seungri, by the way,” he offers, only slightly hesitant as he tests out his self given name. “If we exchange names, we won’t be strangers anymore, right?” They’d be acquaintances. 

The young girl laughed loudly when her boyfriend wrapped his arms around his waist when they approached Lovelyz’s dorm, she placed a finger in front of her lips and shushed him. “When I snuck out, they were all asleep. If we make too much noise, one of them is bound to wake up and find out that I left,” she whispered. When her boyfriend kissed her lips, they say a quick goodbye and she watched him walk away. Her back against the door, she bit her lip, giddy because of her time with her boyfriend. Turning around, she hummed quietly as she entered in the passcode for the door lock. When it beeped and unlocked, her footsteps came to an abrupt stop when thoughts entered her head. Oh, crap...someone’s awake... And she knew exactly who it was.

Slipping off her shoes, Myungeun slowly advances into the living space. The lamp was turned on and she saw the familiar figure sitting on the floor, her back leaning against the wall, and her arms crossed over her chest. “Jiyeon unnie...” the younger nervously chuckled. “What are you doing up so late? You should be asleep. We have schedules in the morning,” she tried to play it cool in hopes to avoid being chastised. Keeping her distance, she just stared at the older member as she started to fake a smile of innocence. 

Looking down at her phone, she stared at the screen as it began to load the game she was about to play. Glancing off to the side as she waited, she noticed that the person seated beside her was playing the same game. “Hey! Were you ever able to catch that special Christmas Pikachu?” She suddenly asked, curious if the other was successful.

          [ THE MALE ISN’T ] proud of the fact that he has to resort to such measures, but surviving in civilization was a lot harder than he remembers – especially after all the trauma he’s been through. Seungri is desperate to get on his own two feet soon, but he knows that takes time, time he does not necessarily have without the right resources. He knows he could easily make people give him a job, a place to live – but then he’d really be the monster the government made him to be.

        When the woman turns to him, dark eyes seem to smile gently. The flash of purple had disappeared just in time, and he clears his throat. “Omo?” He asks, almost as if he’s confused. “Lunch would be great, but … How did you know, hm? You must be some kind of mind reader~” He teases, unaware of the fact that she was and he had little influence on her with such a low caliber of his powers. 

"What if we gathered all the larger stuffed animals and made a barrier to trap us in the corner then get all the smaller ones to use as weapons?” Myungeun suggested as the two younger members of the group were planning an attack on the older members. “They’ll notice the barrier, but they wouldn’t see it coming when stuffed animals are suddenly flying towards them!”