My Mamihood

Why I’m Saying Goodbye to the ‘Hood

Confession: I have been thinking about saying goodbye to the ‘hood for the last couple of years.

I’ve driven all my friends in “the business” insane, I’m sure (I owe y’all dinner and drinks for sure!). There’s been so much going through my mind. I had a feeling that 2019 was going to be moving in big ways and small for me. And with that, the thought of what this space might look like in the…

What Have I Done? And Other Answers to Your Questions

I’ve had quite a few questions come my way in the last few weeks, especially after my last post.  Honestly though, the questions began as soon as I started sharing about my experiences growing up and my return to something that has been a part of me for so long.

Since my initiation at the beginning of the month, there have been inquiries, hesitations, people not knowing what to say because they…

On the Road to Ocha

On the road to Ocha I found a light Held by my ancestors, shining bright. On the road to Ocha I found a simple joy Like a child feels when she gets her favorite toy. On the road to Ocha I found my fears And the strength to overcome them after all these years. On the road to Ocha I’ve found my power But also the vulnerability of a freshly picked flower. On the road to Ocha I have found my voice And the…

What I Learned From the Word Intentional

My word for 2018 was intentional. And it nearly broke me.

Whenever a word is selected, I find that the Universe steps up to the plate and aims right for where the sweet spot of shattering the safety we think a word might mean sits.

In my world, that looks like having my eyes open to the acts of others that I previously thought were well-meaning but, upon further inspection, realizing that their…

How Bias Is Costing Black Lives

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

I never gave maternal health much thought outside of the general commentary about it being probably the most dangerous thing a woman will do.

I mean…that’s major, though but…

Knowing what I know now and looking back at my own experiences while also listening to women close to me has really opened my eyes to certain…

How To Get Organized During the Holidays

Disclosure: I am a #TalkEarly ambassador. All thoughts, opinions and clutter are purely my own.

Last year, I met an organizing guru and had to fight the urge to kidnap her and make her get my house right. Sadly, I lack the strength, both physically and financially to make this happen.

So, I just sat there nodding my head and smiling til I felt like a crazy person because Rachel was speaking to my…

Letter of Gratitude to My Daughter

It is 4:51 a.m. I’ve been up for a bit and I’m wide awake.

You are asleep. Not beside me on the pillow that you love to take over but, in your own bed. Mami should be asleep as well but, I don’t know what’s keeping me up.

Words. I think words are keeping me up. Words keep me company, you know. They weave themselves in my head and, by the time it’s all said and done, they form a body that can be…

The Why Behind the Asks: Parenting and Safety

Disclosure: I am a #TalkEarly ambassador. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

“Why do the clouds on one side of the sky look different than the other?” “Why does my elf come on December 3rd?” “How are rainbows made?” “Why do Mamis drink alcohol?”

These are some of the questions I’ve gotten, like, since this morning. I have given my child a “questions” notebook but she never seems to have it…

Working Through the Emotions of Losing And Learning

The day after election day. I was up past 3 a.m. I left the safety of my war room after midnight for the reality of exit polls and concession speeches.

I’ve been seeing a lot of discussions about percentages of people voting. About who voted how. Breakdowns regarding race and gender sliced and diced to serve up with a large side of anger and hurt.

Throughout the next days, weeks and months, I…

Single Parenting With a Chronic Illness

(this is part of the Soulful Sunday series)

This past week I’ve had a few aha moments. As I woke up on a Saturday, I had to do some extra running around in order to make things work, and I started writing this list in my head.

Of course, as the day went on and my endo belly made its appearance, the list grew.

I have been told I am not a single mother because baby girl’s dad is in her life. I’ve…

How to Process Boundaries, Toxicity and Actions For a Better Life

I’ve recently headed back to therapy. Processing being disconnected from my father and the continual pushback experienced from family members that don’t really have my best interest at heart but rather, they’re own need to justify the trauma they experienced.

Among other things.

Over the last few years, I’ve continually shed fucks in the same manner not dissimilar from a long haired cat shedding…

Being My Girl’s Best Teacher While Learning Along the Way

Disclosure: I’m a #TalkEarly ambassador. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

I’m writing this in karate class. No, I’m not so talented that I can type and karate chop all at once (GOALS!). I’m attempting to distract myself as baby girl takes her first consistent after school activity. It’s slightly nerve wracking. I have to fight the urge to yell at kids as they practice their kicks and…

The Tale of Two Silis

I’m in the car, on the way to an apartment with a perfect sea view. I’ve spent the day in what would be considered an undesirable area of the city. The electricity we consumed today came from a small power plant used to barely keep the fridge running, a few light bulbs and a lonely fan that tries its best to cool down a small house never intended to hold so many memories or so much love.

Every…

The Bag She Carries And The Memories She Leaves Behind

She picks up a bag with a bible, a blouse, her toothbrush, perfume and whatever else she might have slipped in there when we weren’t looking.

At times, when she puts it down and cannot find it, she tells me that someone here is stealing her things. But when I direct her to whatever stolen thing she’s told me about, she quickly corrects, agrees and says yes, she knew it was there.

We sit in front…

Summer Plans and Conversations

Disclosure: I’m a #TalkEarly ambassador. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

“Mami, I think everyone should get the summer off. Why can’t you?”

These words were said a couple of days before summer break began after I was asked about what we would be doing on the first day of summer vacation.

MADAM! I still gotta work!

Planning for the summer can be stressful for us. Last year, I had surgery…

“I’m having a hard time reconciling going about my business while knowing there are babies out there that will not remember their parents because they were too young for them to have memories at the time they were stolen.” I typed up this status message earlier because, I am without proper words and I don’t really give a damn about the clean laundry I just brought in from the garage. Or the stack…

On Wanting to Go

All that was in the house was percocet. Someone else’s. I realized much later that there was something off about the excuse for those being in the house but, that is a different story for a different day. He was out of the house. Looking back, he was probably out living that 2nd or 3rd life I realized years later he was so adept at keeping. Again, another story.

I was in my early 20’s and not…