MYLA

ALWAYS WINTER - MYLA The cold is coming, but I can’t feel it. Inside of me, it’s always winter— a city where the sun will never rise. I hear the silence screaming softly, like heavy chains behind locked doors. A thousand shadows follow me with slow, relentless steps. I try to run away from who I used to be. There’s a voice inside my head. It never stops. I wish that I could shut it out, but every time it comes back to me. The shadows walk beside me. And I keep losing pieces of myself. Time keeps moving... but I don’t know if time alone is enough to heal me. And if tomorrow the light came back... would I still know the person in the mirror? Or would I stay hidden inside everything I used to be? There’s a voice inside my head. It never stops. But maybe it won’t be the one to decide who I become. The cold is coming... And still, the tears running down my face are warm enough to keep me alive.

Who am I? I don’t know. I ask myself every day. Who am I? That girl who smiles softly so she won’t get in the way. The one who stays at the back of the room, even when she wants to be seen. I lower my eyes. The words remain unspoken, as if my voice were too afraid to come out. I only wish that someone would hold me close... and tell me: “It’s going to be okay.” Who am I? That girl hiding in the corner. I scream out to the world, but no one seems to hear me. All I need is somewhere I don’t have to be afraid. Afraid of being too much. Afraid of getting it wrong. Afraid to speak, even when I have a thousand things I want to say. I keep searching for a reason to believe there might be a place for me too. And if, one day, someone loved me... maybe I would stop hiding away. Maybe I would understand that I was never too much. Maybe... I would finally know what love feels like. Who am I? Maybe I’m only that girl still waiting to be seen. I scream out to the world. But this time... if someone hears me, I won’t lower my eyes again. Who am I? Maybe... I’m still learning how to find out.