Myka Ramos

The cigarette is torn from Ash’s fingers and thrown on the floor. His body pushed back against the toilet tank. Ash grunts as his legs are spread open and his shirt is pulled up.

“Condom—“ Ash starts to say, but his jaw is roughly pushed closed by calloused hands as fingers are forced inside him.

“Ughnnn.” Ash fingers dip inside his shirt pocket pulling out the condom packet. It slips from his shaky grasp and falls to the floor.

“I can fit three fingers in easily. Your insides are throbbing.”

Ash throws his head back to watch the ceiling. “I don’t care to hear it.” He grunts as the fingers are pulled out and he feels hands pushing his thighs up.

Ash bites down on his inner lower lip as the tip of the man’s thick dick presses against his dripping ass. Fingers pushing against the stall walls as it goes inside him inch by inch.

“Hnnn.” Ash’s thoughts scatter in pieces. The endless white noise scattering behind his eyelids.

The man’s length pushes inside him fully spreading him further open and stretching him more with a burning pain.

Ash groans into the back of his hand. It sounds like a cry.

The man moves before the pain fades away. Slow deep thrust at first as he savors the feeling. As if he’s trying to open up Ash more so his dick slips in easier. Ash’s body remains tight at first, feeling the stretch of every thrust against his inner walls. Feeling the burn on his ass as it’s forced to spread open wider.

“Come on.” The man’s voice is rough and harsh. “I feel you trying to push me out.” He wiggles the last inch back and forth. “Open up. I know you can do it.”

Ash’s legs shiver as they are spread further open. The dick fills him. Almost as if he touches his lower abdomen he can feel it inside him.

“There we go.” The dick pulls out of Ash with a sick slop, the fullness leaving him. A thumb presses against the edge of his ass spreading it. “If I keep trying I could push my hand in and mess up your insides.”

Ash shakes at the words his thoughts still scattered trying to hold on. He makes a noise when the man pulls him closer and pushes his dick inside again to the hilt in one deep thrust. Ash claps a hand over his mouth when the thrusts start. Hard, fast, unrelenting. Like his belly distends up which each thrust.

The man grabs Ash’s hand away from his mouth and squeezes his wrist hard, enough to leave marks. “Let me hear you.”

Ash bites his lips tasting blood. Only allowing his grunts free.

“Fuck. You’re still so tight. Even now when you’re not trying to push me out.” Rough fingers press against Ash’s stomach. “I’m gonna fill you up soon. Let’s see that full belly.”

Ash throws his head back and watches the ceiling shake as he’s fucked hard.

His toes curl when warm liquid starts being spilled inside him. As the deep thrusts continue between his shaking legs.

It doesn’t stop. Ash gets lost in the white noise. He feels the man ejaculate inside him. His thrusts only slowing so he can push his cum deeper inside Ash’s body. Into his stomach, filling his belly.

The man’s hand presses against the line of Ash’s dick beneath his cotton shirt. Hiding it. “You’re just a hole aren’t you?” He worms his dick deeper. Puts his two thumbs on each side against the stretch of Ash’s ass pushing them in with vague thrusts. “Maybe next time I’ll bring a friend. I’m sure you can take two.” The thumbs pull him apart until Ash feels the burn. “I’d love to reach inside and mess things up.”

The dick pulls out with a wet pop. Ash’s legs are dropped and they fall lifelessly to the sides. His body trembles and his hands shake against the buttons of his shirt. As he trails fingers between the gaps to touch his stomach.

Semen spills out of his hole, dripping down as he hears the man shuffled his pants back up and buckling his belt. The door swings open with a bang and footsteps disappear.

Ash leans on the toilet tank. Rubbing his dick through the cloth. Fingers trailing down to the rim of his ass, rubbing the opened hole and picking some of the cum that spilled out and pushing it back inside him.

He digs into his pocket for another cigarette. Barely putting it on his mouth when he hears the door swung open again.

He stretches. Listening to the short footsteps coming closer.

The steps stop by every stall. Each door opening with a small thud.

Ash watches his stall open. Watches dark eyes seeing him.

“Eiji you found me...” Ash spreads his legs further apart. “It’s still not enough...” He touches his stretched out sloping hole dripping with strangers cum. Eiji doesn’t move at first. Sunken eyes just watching, fingers on the stall lock.

“It’s still not—” Ash blinks, a tight knot on his throat as tears fall from the corners of his eyes. “Eiji…” he chokes out.

Eiji steps inside the stall without saying a word. Glancing around until he spots Ash’s pants and picks them from the corner of the stall. He places a hand on Ash’s back pushing him to stand and put his pants on. Ash lags against Eiji. Fingers barely grasping the cloth as Eiji helps him put the pants back on.

Ash repeats Eiji’s name like it’s the only thing that keeps him from getting lost in the white noise. Eiji buttons the pants and zips them up slowly. Taking Ash’s hand and pulling him out of the stall. “Let’s go home, Ash.”

Eiji couldn’t shake the feeling that Ash had been attacked because of him. Because he was seen with him. No one in this school was supposed to know who he was. No one except Blanca and the principal. But even so, he was well known in the school. He was the top student and he carried a reputation. Yet there could always be someone who knew who he really was. There could always be someone that wanted to cause him harm, even indirectly.

Ash glances at the door suddenly.

It opens and Eiji stands, guard up.

Another student, three years Eiji’s junior walks in, long hair tied in a firm ponytail. His eyes widen at not finding the infirmary empty. “How did you get in here?”

Yut-Lung. Eiji remembers the name as the younger boy glares at the pair. He was the highest GPA in his grade, and the only student besides Eiji to be given the infirmary access code.

Eiji ignores Yut-Lung and sits back down next to Ash. “I have the code. Now go off to do whatever is you do here.” Eiji waves the boy off. Barely paying attention as Yut-Lung complains but disappears in the back when Eiji glares at him.

Ash shows little interest in the new visitor and stays still as Eiji finishes cleaning his wounds. Eiji treats his own cuts quickly while Yut-Lung is in the other room. It’s not as bad as he thought, just a few scrapes and lacerations, combined with a slight headache from the kick to the head. Nothing a dose of aspirin couldn’t take care of. He has suffered much worst from training sessions with Blanca. Eiji tugs Ash by the hand and leads him out of the infirmary before Yut-Lung returns. “Don’t forget to lock like you did last time!” Eiji yells and leaves with Ash.

When they finally make it to the counselor’s office, Mr. Akiyama stares at the pair with disbelief. Eiji throws the fakest sheepish smile he can muster and tells him they both took a tumble down the stairs. “Taking a tumble” was the international language for a fight within the school. All the students knew it. All the faculty knew it. Questions were never asked.

The meeting with Akiyama is short. Eiji waits a little as Akiyama asks Ash some questions, lingering by the door longer than necessary. The final bell rings and forces him to glance at his phone. Ten missed calls. “Can I be excused?” He interrupts the interview, makes sure that Akiyama notes down he completed his assignment as a tour guide. Ash seems to lean half out of his seat, looking up at Eiji. “It was nice meeting you,” Eiji glances at Ash, then waves away and leaves without looking back.

Eiji’s steps are firm and hurried, his grip on his bag tight. He bites his lip as a feeling of wrongness crawls through his thoughts, as each step takes him further away from the counselor’s office. Eiji pushes the feeling down. He can’t afford to be distracted. He’s late. So late. His father demanded he’d be home right after school ended, almost an hour ago. There were things to get ready for tonight's meeting. For his formal induction as boss to the members of the clan that weren’t connected to the head family. Something Eiji wasn’t looking forward to but it had to be done. Most of the bosses that managed the unsavory parts of the business where people Eiji would never associate with otherwise. People he planned to get rid of in the months and years to come as he made the group his own.

Eiji is halfway to the main entrance when he hears a flurry of footsteps behind him, getting closer and closer. He turns, body tensing and ready to fight.

Ash stands breathless a few feet in front of him. Sweat pricked at his temple, cheeks flushed. “I thought I’d lost you,” he says with a small gasp. Eyes downcast, fingers barely holding his bag. “The counselor said you knew the way to the exit.”

Eiji relaxes immediately. The feeling of wrongness goes away and something within him understands. “Follow me,” he says and continues forward, walking a little slower so Ash could step beside him. They walk side by side without saying another word. Stop by their lockers on the way out of campus and head towards the gate. The sun has started to set, the sky covered with darkening orange hues. Yet another sign how late it was. But for some reason Eiji didn’t care anymore about the time. Instead he just listens to the sound of Ash’s steps beside him.

The campus entrance is void of other students. The main gate already half closed.

Eiji stops right in front of it and turns towards Ash. “Do you live far from campus?”

Ash blinks. His eyes look at the world past Eiji. “Just a few blocks south. It’s not far.”

Eiji nods. “I’m a little farther east. It’s still daylight so you shouldn’t have trouble with bullies. If I wasn’t running late I would take you, but I have to head home now, be careful ok?”

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Ash gives him a look Eiji can’t quite decipher and it feels wrong to turn away from the other boy. Like a little hurt in his core. But he had to go home and face the punishment his father would dish out when he finally arrives at the house.

Fingers snatch the edge of Eiji’s shirt and tug him back. “O— Okumura, wait..!”

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Eiji freezes. Eyes on the gate and the road. It feels like an eternity when he glances back at Ash. “I…” the blond mutters, eyes still sombre. “I don't want to go home… can I go with you?”

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Eiji blinks. He should say no. He needs to say no. No. He can’t bring strangers into his home. Into a yakuza home. it’s dangerous. It’s foolish. His father would never allow it. Not once in his entire life had he been allowed to invite a friend over. Not even classmates to work on a project. His father, always forbid it…

Except Eiji was the boss now. It was his word that ruled even if his father was still the face of the organization.

Ash tugs at his shirt again and Eiji can feel the indecision vanish. “Ok,” he answers softly. “Follow me.”

It takes Eiji exactly fourteen minutes to walk from the school campus to his family home. He knows the quickest route, the one less inflicted by foot traffic, the one where he knows every secret sheltering spot in case it starts raining. He takes that route every day, twice a day.

Yet he’s been walking with Ash for over twenty minutes.

Taking the longest route. The slowest route. The unnecessary road.

As soon as he told Ash to follow him. The second they passed the campus’ gate. Eiji regretted it. Bring someone he didn’t know to his home? What was he thinking?

And so Eiji kept wandering with Ash. Thinking of a dozen reasons to lose him. To run ahead and leave him behind.

His father’s warning when he was a very small child repeats in his head over and over. Never bring anyone to this house! Remember you can go to school only because I allow it! If you ever bring anyone to this house—

Eiji bites his lip, trying to shake the memory. He’d been five or six when his father had said that, yet he remembered it so vividly. So many years spent afraid of getting close to anyone at all. Of making a real friend. So many classmates had asked if they could come over. Dozens of “friends” that had a tendency to stop talking to him the second he declined their invitation. It wasn't long before Eiji stopped trying to make friends, stopped caring when his classmates only spoke to him when it was necessary. Saying no had become second nature. It was just his lot in life. It had been so easy to say no to all the ones before. So easy he should have no trouble stopping right where he was and telling Ash to go away, that he had changed his mind...

A pair of junior high girls walks past them. Their hushed conversation suddenly becoming louder as they burst into giggles. Eiji knows the outburst is about them, or more accurately about Ash. Foreigners were not that common in this area. Much less ones that wore a Japanese uniform.

“That one ahead,” Eiji points when the house can be seen.

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“Wow,” Ash blinks. “Big house. Are you rich? You don’t look like a rich kid.”

“I’m not…” Eiji scratches his nose in the obvious lie. He pulls open the gate and walks in.

“Japanese people don't lock their doors do they?” Ash asks.

“There is no crime in this area,” Eiji answers with a tight smile, not missing the utter irony of his words. “Come on in. My father’s not home.” Another lie. Even if his father wasn’t physically at the home, his presence was always here. In the eyes of his men, in the eyes of the family.

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Eiji grits his teeth as he watches Ash walk pass the gate of his home. The opportunity to push the other boy away quickly disappearing. The longer Ash remains, the more lies he would hear. Eiji’s only option was to lie, and he needed to stop this before it got worse.

“It’s peaceful,” Ash comments as he glances around the gardens. “Quiet. I like it.” Eiji opens the front door, his hand slightly shakes. He reminds himself he’s the boss now, not his father, not his father...

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“Welcome home, boss!!!” Eiji freezes three steps inside his home. Mouth wide open as ten of his men bow deeply in a greeting he hadn't seen since he was a child. Was this some sort of initiation? Some cruel prank his father had concocted?

“Boss?” Ash asks behind him.

Eiji isn’t sure if to be angry or afraid.

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The men straighten up, unmoving and waiting for orders. Eiji hated those stupid sunglasses they all wore instantly. He hated he couldn't see their eyes.

Without thinking Eiji puts a hand over Ash’s shoulders. Ash flinches ever so slightly, Eiji doesn’t really notice. “Don’t mind them. They are practicing for a talent show.” Eiji heads forward into the house, pulling Ash along and he tries not to listen to the mutter of the men behind them.

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“Who are they?” Ash asks as they turn down a hall. “They look like those Japanese gangster movies.”

“Haha…” Eiji laughs nervously. “They are my father’s employees that enjoy playing pranks.” Eiji opens the door to his bedroom and lets Ash go in first. He doesn't have to worry about it being messy or having things out of place. The room is cleaned daily by the housemaids and there is nothing here that truly belongs to him. No hobbies. No things he chose himself. Just a generic room that happened to store clothes that fit him and where he slept.

Ash doesn’t say anything as he looks around the room. Eiji drops his book bag on the corner. “I—”

“Do you have clothes I could borrow?” Ash asks suddenly. “He stares down at his dirty clothes. “I don't want to wear these anymore.”

“Sure…” Eiji hesitates. “There’s a bathroom behind that door,” he points to his right. You can shower if you want. “I’ll get you something.”

Ash drops his bag next to Eiji’s and goes to the bathroom without another word. Eiji doesn't move until he hears the water running. He leaves the room in a haste, quick steps towards the foyer where the men are still gathered.

“Is my father home?” Eiji deadpans. His voice holds just the right hint of authority. The men’s attention turns instantly towards him and they bow without being ordered to. “He sent notice he will be here before the meeting.” The man closest to him answers, head bowing deeper.

“Good.” Eiji breathes a sigh of relief but keeps his features hard and serious. “Please inform me immediately if he arrives. And do not tell him about my guest.”

The men bow in response and Eiji returns to his room. He’s fairly certain his order to hide Ash will be ignored, but he at least had to try. His entire skin felt like tingling. No matter how many times he witnesses his father ordering his men around, he’d never felt comfortable with it. To be the law. To be the ultimate order.

But now…

His entire body tingled with it.

He was the law now.

He was the order.

The water is still running when he reenters his room. He goes to his closet and undresses. Sees glimpses of the irezumi that covers his shoulders and back when he peels his dress shirt off. More aware than ever how a mistake having Ash here was. “I must be careful. I can’t let him see these.”

Art by @iamatrashfan

Eiji drops his uniform in the laundry basket and grabs a plain black shirt that covers everything. Searches among his dresser for clothes for Ash deciding on a white cotton shirt and some black sweatpants.

The water is still running when he crosses the bedroom and grabs a towel from the dresser by the bathroom. He knocks once. “Ash. I have the clothes.” He waits a minute before opening the door. “Ash, I brought you a towel and some clothes—”

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Ash stands in the middle of the bathroom. The shower running behind him as steam builds in the small space. He’s in the middle of removing his shirt, almost every inch Eiji could see covered in bruises, marks, cuts…

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Eiji’s eyes widen at the dozens of bruises on Ash’s skin. He’d seen marks like that before. In the dark basements where his family hid “merchandise”. Bruises in the shape of hands...

“Ah—” Eiji hesitates when deep green eyes watch him without saying a word. “I’m going to leave these here,” he places the towel and clothes on the sink counter. “Take your time.” He shuts the door quietly. Resting his back against it as he listens to the running water.

Those bruises and cuts weren’t from the fight. Eiji knew. He knew. He feels lightheaded suddenly and sits on his bed, closing his eyes.

Art by @iamatrashfan

It feels like an eternity before Ash exits the bathroom. Steam escapes from the room as Eiji watches. His shirt and pants run a little big on the other boy.

“Those guys weren’t just fighting you were they?” Eiji swallows hard. “Were they trying to…”

“Have their way with me?” Ash finishes the statement, a sad smile shaping his lips. “It’s happened before, it’ll happen again.”

Eiji presses his lips closed tight. Hundreds of thoughts race through his head. Hurt, shame, regret, and above all guilt. As the heir of a Yakuza family, Eiji isn’t clean from the taint of that world. The ugly truth that part of the world he was born into does unimaginable things, commits cruel crimes on people that can never be taken back. Yakuza sell people for the exact same thing that happened to Ash. And right now Eiji wants to apologize like nothing else he’s ever wanted in his life. Even if he knows he can’t. Ash can never know what he is. Who he is.

These moments spent together are temporary. Seconds in comparison to the rest of his life.

“I told you.” Ash’s voice sounds like he’s drowning. “I’m just a toy to be broken. Nothing else.” Ash pulls his backpack on his shoulder and nods towards Eiji with a smile. “Thank you for letting me take a bath. It was nice meeting you.”

He starts walking away and Eiji knows this is the way. The way his entire life will be from now on. Fleeting moments of companionship, quickly forgotten by the world he lived in. A world that destroys and breaks people like Ash.

Eiji moves without thinking. Jumping from the bed and running. His fingers grasp the hem of Ash’s sleeve, claiming his attention.

Eiji swallows hard. “Do you want to sleep over?” The question stumbles out of his lips. What is he doing? It’s the worst idea to let someone in like this. It’s a mistake to want to save someone like this. Eiji lets go of Ash. Opens his mouth to apologize when he hears the reply.