soul

I don’t know how old this message is - as I don’t really use this anymore. I just by chance happened to check it out and saw this and am happy I did. A lot of life has happened since we last really really spoke. It almost feels like a whole different life time since way back when. Like it doesn’t even match with the life I have now almost.

I look back at my life during those times often and only recently was I able to do so without hating myself. They say it gets worse before it truly gets better. I went through a lot of self discovery. As I think we all do when we reach our 30’s. Crazy to think we were kids during that time. I didn’t realize even then how much pain I was holding. That caused me to hurt many many people. I didn’t see it then. It’s ironic I’m even seeing this message now because I just wrote my first book on the topic, sorta. Like healing, and reparenting ourselves kinda thing. Literally this week I finished it. The timing and synchronicities are awesome. I forget exactly how far I’ve come sometimes and appreciate reminders like this. things weren’t so great yeah so I appreciate you looking at it from that kind of perspective. I know that can be tough too. Not that it was an excuse you’re right. but I lacked any awareness back then which really sucked. I messed up a lot of good relationships.

“I did all the things I wanted to do, and created new things to want to do” probably the most refreshing thing to hear out of anyone. I’m so glad. And i think it’s pretty cool too you set out to do that and know you want more. I love a good story if you ever want to share. But Yeah man this was awesome to come and read.

As much as I might’ve thought this was a perfect pinnacle to reach, i know much of it has its negatives. Such as sometimes it seeming like I’ve lost sympathy, and even my ability to empathize while reaching a state of enlightenment. Because I can “see through it” or just not take it for what it is. But I’m missing the whole point of being human. And living the human experience. While still trying to hold onto the knowledge and existence I know to also be true but doesn’t necessarily correlate perfectly with the physical realm we have known.

It’s an interesting experience and I don’t believe anyone who may be on the same path, has figured it all out. I can’t see how it’s possible. If you look at it as a place, some would say a higher vibration but something about that tells me that only describes putting us on a place where we are capable of looking down. At people or places. I think the most beautiful thing we’re given as humans is free will. So it’s not something we can force. People will stay exactly where they feel comfortable, if they choose to. But how do we still hang on to the human experience as living in love and connecting still, regardless of where one may be at in their journey?

So when I refuse to spend energy at worldly topics, as heartbreaking as they can be. Or how they may even be the same things that will help us advance as a society. I instead see how that can look on a spiritual realm.. what does it all equal out to mean there? Most of the time it doesn’t. And that’s what I’ve learned as well, they’ll keep throwing you these things in your face to keep you focused on the tiny things giving you zero time or energy to look and listen inward - without another human beings involvement.

But there will be times where I feel guilty. I remember I am still human… living this human experience. I cannot escape it. It will happen however it plays out. A perfect stage of being doesn’t exist. And you can read and listen to all the gurus you wish but that ultimate point of enlightenment cannot be reached as long as you’re here.. I think that’s what makes this all so interesting. Is how far do we want to go before we leave everyone behind? When everyone is us. And we’re them. Will we ultimately reach a point of humanism where feelings, unity, connectedness, emotions, etc just no longer exists? I’ve watched way too many sci-fi movies about trans humanism (between robot and human) so I can’t help but to wonder.

There was talk back in the 60’s on computer implants on humans to be able to feel constant Positive emotions. And as you’ve probably heard by now there’s already programs of nanotechnology being implanted into humans to help stop sickness and to pretty much serve to fix someone. So really those predictions weren’t so far off, if at all considering this advancement of technology has really only begun to roll out.

Are you able to correlate this all together? How far will we go to stop being human. How far will we go to reach perfection. Why are we escaping the very thing we came here to be? Is this really fixing anything or just covering up the problem with so many new ones?