❤️‍🔥

why do I have memory gaps? why do I forget things so easily? why do I feel like I’m delusional, like anything I see or feel isn’t real and isn’t there? why do I feel like I’m always lying? what happened? why don’t I remember it?

Nobody ever talks about how selfless it is to choose, over and over again, to not commit suicide. Nobody ever acknowledges the tremendous sacrifice suicidal people make every time we choose not to kill ourselves. When a person who is suffering so horribly that death seems like their best option decides not to take their one way out, and to instead remain in hell, day after day, month after month, year after year, because they don’t want to hurt the people they love, they are doing something extraordinary. Not killing yourself when it’s all you want to do is the purest act of love I can imagine. Dying for someone is easy - you don’t have to deal with any of the consequences, you have your moment of nobility and then it’s all over. But living for someone, when the simple fact of consciousness is literal torture for you? Every single suicidal person who ever made a choice to not kill themselves in a moment of misery is a goddamn hero in my eyes. Wanting to die and still surviving is an act of titanic courage and self-sacrifice. We deserve more credit for it.

I hope my absence brings you the peace that my love couldn’t

Manchmal ist ein Mensch nur erschöpft. Nicht sauer und nicht schlecht gelaunt. Einfach nur erschöpft.

Always remember, people know exactly what they be doing.

Menschen, denen du wirklich wichtig bist, würden dich niemals auf eine Art und weise behandeln, von der die wissen, dass Sie dich verletzen würden.