For my fairy

Goodbye tumbler

18 November 2019

I'll love you as long as I breathe

Habebte is very tough...

Tell her that I wish she enjoyed Friday evening and night to the maximum in her sexy black dress and red boats, before and after the dance and dinner, and till Saturday dawn. Tell her that I'm listening to "Lane moje" all the time that I can sing it now. Tell her that I had more than enough riddles and mystery and bad thoughts and hidden actions and pretended life. Tell her that I tried to speak to her four times and she refused in a very humiliating way. Tell her that despite this all I'll be waiting for her today all the day. Tell her that if she ignored me today also I'll consider this her tenth and final confirmation of our relation end. Tell her that I loved her to destroy myself, to live on pain all the time nonstop, yet all what I did was unseen and not appreciated. Tell her that I'll love her as long as I live, but love only is not enough. It may destroy people but it can't build lives and future. Tell her that love and courage are not measured by social media posts. There are alot of actions happened in and out social media, but what seen only was worthless words. Tell her if she refused to talk, she may block me again on Facebook as she is blocking me on WhatsApp. I don't see anything anyway, and this will guarantee no more unexpected and unwanted messages from me.

No one can live forever in yes/no, come/go state. I think I need alot of clarifications as much as you need alot too. I'm fighting that egomaniac asshole baloon coward tarek all the time, at the same moment I sense alot of changes with the broken heated, cheater by nature shehab that started a month ago, maybe earlier.. I'm a complete stranger to you, know nothing about you and your life, begging all days for some posts that you kindly share, and I don't know how much you like this feeling that I'm fully open and you are fully closing doors. But before talking in useless things that could be just waste of your time, I need to know one thing only. Last thing you directly wrote was: I could never trust you again. Goodbye. Last thing I wrote was: I'll stop and leave forever. Goodbye. Then, following your yesterday and today posts I'm making myself more cheap and more worthless and bleeding more of my honor and dignity and asking once again now: Do you really want me to go forever? If this is what you want please say it clearly and loudly so I can give you what you want and let you live as you want without more pain or hurts, and without chasing you two hours after midnight when someone eats my heart "adoring" your eyes. What we are now is not love by any means. It is ongoing torture and humiliation and it can't continue any longer. It is only a kind of life destruction and i feel no joy in this pain. Real love and life are never built on some social media posts or how to hurt others, or this amount of distrust and misunderstanding and offending, or inability to speak for once like normal people at least. Courage and actions are never measured by some Facebook pictures or words that mean nothing except hurt and bring nothing excpet hate. We don't live alone in this life, there are others looking for us and for our public actions all the time. Think, remember your plan and think why you ask me to do its opposite or just leave and shutting my mouth... My father health condition is changing and it requires alot of time and attention for today and tomorrow. He is doing good but what damaged can't be recovered. He may return to his home soon. Fairy.. Say it, I still want you and I still love you, and let's talk and settle everything. Or say it out loud, I don't want you anymore, don't write to me again. Just say this or that and mean it. M

I love you

You are my sweet sweet home.. Where ever you are, my home is you.. Distance separate bodies, but never separate loving souls.. I love you

I love you

And I’ll stop now, before hear one new “be respectful enough and hear my loud NO to you in your face, m”