My Dark Star

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

The first attested cat in Japan was given to a young 9th century emperor and his diary about it includes such gems as 'I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long.", "The color of the fur is peerless. None could find the words to describe it, although one said it was reminiscent of the deepest ink.", "When it lies down, it curls in a circle like a coin. You cannot see its feet. It’s as if it were circular Bi disk." and "I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.” Basically posting about how his void is the best little void and so good at getting really round

i'm tired so i say i will just handle it tomorrow but then it is tomorrow and there's another thing i have to do today so now i have two things to handle (today and yesterday's burdens) so now i'm stressed about doing both and then i spend an hour thinking about how both of these things are going to take up so much time and energy and i should have done that other thing yesterday and it's not even that hard and i get stuck doomscrolling or whatever so now i have to mentally make rules to combat the procrastination because i really do need to get at least one thing done today so i don't let myself eat or sleep or enjoy things until one thing gets done but despite the rules i still can't make myself just get up and start so i get locked for hours in the in-between where my body is frozen and rotting but my mind is on fire in a glass box and honestly in these wasted long hours i don't think i even see the world around me and after a long time eventually if i'm very lucky/have sufficiently punished myself into movement i finally manage to do one or both things on my list and that should be great but instead of feeling proud or relaxed i'm annoyed with myself because i've wasted the day and how can i be exhausted when i literally haven't done anything and literally so many adults have actual lives and problems and meanwhile i can't manage basic fucking tasks and then i realize oh fuck there's a third thing which i forgot about until now and but i really am tired so i say i will just handle it tomorrow but then it is tomorrow