dad jokes

My 7-year-old came up with this and decided to share it with me: What do you call a penguin’s smile?

Why shouldn't kids sleep during the day?

A cheese factory exploded in France.

I told a Saudi friend my best joke and he didn't get the reference.

Did you see the dog's new outfit?

Courtesy of my 5 year old daughter: what did the sofa say when it’s leg was broken?

What do you call it when people accuse Johnny Depp without listening his side?

My son was so happy with the response to his joke yesterday he wanted me to share this one with you too. What’s the most reliable part of the human body?

Real life conversation with my wife.

what's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3. He says “uno, dos...” poof.

I know exactly how many trees I’ve cut down in my lifetime.

What starts with and "e" and ends with an "e" and has only one letter in it?

What do you call a cow with no legs?

wife: I saw a baby on the way to work

My 5 year old just ran out of her room to tell me this joke she just thought up: what did the cow say after he was fed?

I accidentally swallowed Scrabble tiles.