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@mybigtinyproblem

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Fuck I need this.
my motivation as someone with a high sw and cw
~the thing that makes me most motivated is the fact that i am Fat, that’s a fact. it’s not just a “oh i look fat today” i am overweight. i have a belly and my bones don’t show, i can squish my thighs and my face is round.
after losing 15 pounds
i’ve gotten complements from my family like “you’ve lost weight i can see it in your face” “you look great! i need to do what you’re doing!” “your legs look slimmer”
my friend who is very honest about everything (and sometimes is too honest) grabbed around my wrist and he said “your wrists are so tiny!! you’re so small”
my collar bones are starting to peak through, i can’t stop feeling them and when i turn you can fully see them
i know this is a small victory but my fingers do not touch now, they don’t look as stubby. my fingers look longer (i’ve always wanted my fingers to look long bc i play piano and i want those pianist fingers)
my face just looks?? nicer?? when i walk by mirrors my double chin is so much less visible i feel prettier and it makes me smile
certain outfits look different on me, not baggy yet bc i have a LONG way to go but things just fit better and i don’t feel as repulsive
things that i look forward to
more defined collar bones. the fact that my collar bones will show without any effort is just! so motivating
my feet and hands to look slim and dainty rather than pudgey
for my sweatshirts to get even bigger on me
to be able to wear jeans again instead of leggings all the time, and actually like how i look
thigh highs to fit correctly and not roll down bc they’re too tight on my thighs
to not be scared during sex/ be able to do more doing sex because my size won’t limit or control me
to see how my bones look, i have always been on the larger side bc i am 4’11”. ive been in a vicious cycle of restricting and binging it all back since i was about 13 because i never had a scale and i would get frustrated after losing weight bc my dsymorphia just,, i never see change. but my scale is forcing me to see the change and i’m just so excited to see the bones in my hand without having to flex it
the bone in my wrist will jut out more
h i p b o n e s- i like to push through the fat and sort of feel them bc i’ve never seen how they look so when i drop more weight i’ll finally be able to feel them and see them!!!!!
thigh gap!! even if it’s not large just a little gap will make me so happy and it’s slowly starting to happen
because i am so short, once i get to my ugw or even a little before it i will look so little and dainty, my boyfriend already says i’m tiny regardless of my weight, so wait until i’m even smaller!!
these are just some of the motivations of a bigger girl, i know how hard it is to start at a high weight bc it’s so hard to see changes on other people and then look at yourself and see no change at all because it takes us so much more to see results. that’s why i’ve given up so many times, the most i’ve lost is thirty pounds but i gained it all back bc i didn’t look like a twig at that point but you know what? i’ve accepted that it’s going to take longer and it’s going to be hard and i think that it makes me or anyone going through a similar battle pretty bad ass. we will be skinny, it’s all about patience and hard work. be nice to yourself and take things slowly to avoid binges and it’s okay if you binge!! if you’re not in recovery please do not beat yourself up or throw all of your progress out the window okay? i know it’s frustrating and people make you feel like this is just a diet regardless of the fact that you are starving yourself but your ED is valid and if you feel like no one acknowledges or cares, i do. stay strong and safe and if you want recovery, PLEASE recover. this is more directed for the people who are past the point of recovery. thanks for listening to my little rantings ❤️
after losing 17 pounds
my grandmother said my legs looked thinner and my butt looks better and cuter
this 👇🏽
i’m gonna update this post from time to time with the amount of weight i’ve lost and how it’s affected my life
after losing 21 pounds
-my hands and wrists are so much smaller, i took a body check video and i can touch every finger to my thumb around my wrist except for almost my pinky
-my friends have started calling me pretty a lot more (and it seems genuine this time), my friend even started drawing me out of nowhere today bc he said i looked beautiful, i’ve never gotten this much attention from them ever
-my teachers have been treating me better?? i dropped 17 lbs during my school break and i was absent last week for medical stuff and a storm so i lost the remainder between now and then. when i went to school on monday my teachers just seemed nicer? not bc of the medical stuff bc i’m out all the time but just treating me better in general and actually including me in conversations and such
-when i went downstairs this morning my grandma told me we needed to buy me new leggings bc they were stretched out from “when you were bigger” and then she had me do a twirl and complimented me and said i was doing great
- my lower thigh is way smaller now!! my knees look so small now??
-my collarbones show on their own a lot of the time now, i don’t have to sit a certain way there just there
-my belly is starting to get smaller, i fit into a pleated skirt that didn’t fit when i bought it, it’s still a tiny bit snug but i can actually zip it!!
-i’m more flexible
-i barely get cravings which is so nice??
-i’m cold
after losing 26 pounds
these are some insta comments i’ve gotten in the last few days! i don’t know these people irl, both of them have followed me for about a year so! knowing that people see change is!! so nice
after losing 40 pounds
-getting tells from my ig followers commenting on my weight loss
-my friends commenting on how different i look in my face
-my guy friend kept calling me beautiful all night, and giving me a fuck ton of compliments about my body
-he also mentioned how small i’ve gotten
-collarbonessss
-my family commenting on my weight loss and congratulating me
-my friends telling me they are proud of me
-only getting diet cokes at dinner if i go out and no one says a word bc my body is changing for the better and they know it, it’s not alarming to them until i’m tiny
-i can see the bones in my hands clearly
-i can start to feel my ribs and hipbones (still under fat but very much there)
-people wrapping their arms further around me
-my shadow looking small!!!!!!!!!! wtf!!!
guys, i get so frustrated looking at myself but sometimes i’ll just stop and see how much things have changed, people treat me better???? i take more pictures of myself???? i’m getting smaller and this is real and it’s so crazy to think about. but it hurts, in no way is this glamorous. getting looks from waiters, your friends not caring bc you’re not underweight, passing out, feeling weak, being able to sleep all night and all day, it’s not a lifestyle to live. i just want to make that clear to anyone who hasn’t fallen down this hell hole. leave. because even the good things that come with this are so bitter sweet, and you’ll regret the day you started when you’re crying bc all you want is 100 extra cals but it’s too much for you.
this has so many notes bro what
You know what would suck? If i just woke up tomorrow 30lbs lighter. HahAhA that’d be horrible! I’d hate for that to happen!!
oh no that would be the WORST AHAHAHahahaHA
God i’d probably like DIE hahahHahHAHA

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TW Don’t kill yourself today
Don’t kill yourself today
Because your Netflix trial still has a week left
Don’t kill yourself today
Because no one else will finish off the chicken in the fridge
Don’t kill yourself today
Because I know for a fact that Starbucks is releasing a new Frappuccino sometime next month
Yes, your mother will miss you
Yes your bully will make a sappy Facebook post about how what a a wonderful person you were
And yes
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem
You know that
You’ve known that
Everyone and anyone has been shoving that down your throat since they first learned what the word suicide meant
So don’t kill yourself
Until you finish your shampoo and conditioner at the same time
Don’t kill yourself
Until Doctor Who is finally cancelled
Don’t kill yourself
Until you tell someone your best pasta recipe
Don’t kill yourself
Because I will keep coming up with reasons for you not to
And I need you
To hear all of them
Don’t kill yourself
I love you
You’re important
It’s a bad day
Not a bad life
There is more to this
The world will keep spinning on its axis without you
But
Think of all the sunrises you’d miss
I know this sounds pointless
But when you’re sitting in front of everything deadly you own
Revising your goodbyes
There will be too much darkness
To see anything else
But this is not about seeing anything else
This is about turning off the lights
This is about finding the bed instead of the noose
This is about giving yourself one more day
Even if it takes ten thousand of those
One more morning’s
Until
“I can’t wait for tomorrow”
This is about staying alive
Because there’s gonna be a new Marvel movie
No one should miss that
This is about staying alive
Because the future is coming
And it’s ready for you
I don’ t need you to see it
I just need you to believe you can make it
Until then
- Hannah Dains
Everyone needs to see this. I dont care what kind of blog you run or what kind of person you are. You can take the few seconds to reblog this. I know some of my followers will need to see this, and so i will reblog for them. Even if its just one or two, they deserve to see this, and to be happy. Always reblog. Always.
Always reblog
Someone may need this
I could have used it earlier
I repeat
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem
I really needed this. I was thinking on running away ‘forever’ but.. this post made me think twice.
Thank you.
Me At 136…
130…
126…
105…
102…
this is so inspiring 😭😍
💛Sunshine💛
I had no Idea this would get so many notes
literally no ed blogs left so retweet if ur still active May of 2019 and ill follow u
the reason people with eating disorders are obsessed with “the number on the scale” instead of simply looking at their bodies to see results is because most of us have body dysmorphia and physically fucking can’t see what they actually look like so the scale is their only indication of progress. what do people not get about that

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Bloated?
You can lose up to 5kg with a salt water flush. Keep in mind that this is just a cleanse to release excess waste and water, not body fat. This is recommended to be done biweekly. Great for when you’ve eaten a lot (the holidays for example) and feel very bloated. Not to be done if you are pregnant or have high blood pressure.
Steps:
Heat up 1 liter of water in a pot with 3 teaspoons of Himalayan pink salt until the salt has dissolved. You want the water to be warm but at drinking temperature. Add lemon juice for taste.
- Drink this on an empty stomach
- Make sure you’re free that day and have access to a toilet, because you will be making frequent stops to the restroom
- If you absolutely need to eat, wait 2 hours after the meal and then begin the cleanse
- Take your time drinking it, no need to chug it down, you’ll have multiple bowel movements throughout the entire day
The Himalayan pink salt works because it does not contain iodine. Our bodies absorb iodine, so it is very important to use a salt which does not contain iodine so our bodies can actually flush it out.
Stay safe xoxo
Reasons to Keep Going
(this is just for me, i do not encourage anything)
So I can fit into small spaces perfectly without squishing against the walls
So that girls at school will ask me what my secret is, only to have me reply with, “clean eating and exercise :)”
To be the approachable, graceful, dainty girl that everyone wants to be friends with. I want to be small and as kind as can be.
So that my mom will never be able to say “you’re too big to wear that kind of thing” again.
To have people whisper about how thin and gorgeous I am, instead of how ugly and annoying I am.
To look absolutely adorable in any clothing I wish. Even my old clothes that‘ll be 4 sizes too big will look cute and oversized on me.
To be able to cosplay any character without feeling too big to properly “be” them.
To be able to work out in public without feeling like, quite literally, the elephant in the room.
So that boys will actually want to be with me, and I’ll politely decline their offers, because I already have someone who has loved me at every stage of my journey.
So new people I meet will wonder if I’ve always looked like this, and if I was blessed with amazing genes.
So at concerts I will look like I don’t belong there, dressed in cute, innocent clothes, perched on a picnic blanket and jumping every time there is a noise louder than usual.
To have people worry about me when I lose more weight, instead of congratulate me.
To be picked up and carried around with ease because I’m essentially weightless.
So that when there is no more room in the car somebody says, “it’s okay, you can sit in my lap because you’re so light.”
To look adorable in my glasses, like a shy, introverted bookworm, instead of a pig with sight problems.
To walk effortlessly and gracefully down the school halls, but with petite, frail legs I’ll find it hard to keep up with my friends when they walk.
To look like a sleepy angel in any pajamas or anything of the like.
To have people be surprised when they see me eating, to hear them say, “wow, you really do eat sometimes!”
So that my grandma gets worried about me and tries to have me eat all sorts of foods and pastries, in which i will politely decline because “i’m already soooo full from the breakfast you made earlier.”
To be able to eat normally on occasion, to be able to go out with friends without staring at the online menu for hours beforehand.
To look dainty and cute in any swimsuit during the summer, instead of a beached whale.
To get into certain events for free because i’m small enough to be a child.
So that when they have to manage to squeeze another person onto a carnival ride, my seat is always the one they’ll pick, because there’ll be so much extra room.
To be able to look pretty and innocent in pastel lolita clothing, but also badass and gorgeous in gothic clothing.
To be so cold during the winter that my friends feel obligated to try and warm me up by hugging me or rubbing my hands.
To always be the “smol bean that needs to be protected” in a group.
To have people flinch and worry about me when my stomach rumbles and growls.
So that people I’m close to frequently asks me what I’ve eaten that day.
To come back to school after summer and have people say, “oh god, you lost even more weight??? You look so thin, I hope you’re not trying to lose more..”
So that my mom stops calling me an attention seeker and telling me that, “every teenage girl goes through this.”
So that people have to stop telling me, “starving yourself will only make you gain weight in the long run, you’re dooming yourself to a lifetime of being overweight.” Because it’s simply not true.
To love myself again.
✨if he knew how fucking motivating this is✨
real people ✨
5’10” | 115lbs | 16.5bmi
@thinspoanorexic
·
5’8” | 101lbs | 15.4bmi
@zerozerokcal
·
5’3” | 130-105lbs | 23.0-18.6bmi
@lildaisy-baby
·
5’7” | 115lbs | 18.0bmi
@weighlessflower
·
5’7” | 106lbs | 16.6bmi
@alookatmythoughts
·
5’3” | 140-93lbs | 24.8-16.5bmi
@morbidsnarls
ignore this is just so i remember
need to get below 50.5kg by may

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.
You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.
Here is an example video
Reblog to literally save a life
I’ve done this. I’m alive because of this.
My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her. She had passed out in her room and locked the door. He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex. He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”. He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge. I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking. He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”. Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report. Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me. Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison. The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen.
This was 14 years ago.
Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can. The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:
“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.” I said I want extra mushrooms.
“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.” I said I want onions.
She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.
They’ve heard this sort of coded call before. They’re trained for it. They will understand what you’re saying. Order the pizza.
Really though. I’m in training for dispatch and this was one of the first things they taught us. Pretend you’re talking to a friend or relative, pretend you’re ordering pizza, we’ll figure it out. We’ll word questions so you can answer in an easy, casual way. Please, just make the call and we will do everything we can to help you.
Reblog to save a life
Why the fuck is this not more widely known?
!!!!!!
Reblogged once
Reblogging again
Always reblog