btw anything that's just me venting should have the tag "#mya vents" so feel free to block that if u don't wanna see it

blake kathryn
d e v o n
Three Goblin Art

DEAR READER

Andulka
Stranger Things
we're not kids anymore.

if i look back, i am lost
tumblr dot com
KIROKAZE
i don't do bad sauce passes

pixel skylines
Mike Driver
One Nice Bug Per Day

Kiana Khansmith

taylor price

Origami Around
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@myazavier
btw anything that's just me venting should have the tag "#mya vents" so feel free to block that if u don't wanna see it

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healing is a myth just go fucking insane who cares
The thing about PMDD that makes it so much worse then having just general depression or anxiety is how invalidating it feels.
Knowing that a sudden onslaught of negative thoughts or paranoid feelings is only occurring because of your period makes it really hard to be understanding or to reframe the thinking. A typical way of dealing with depression or anxiety is finding the root of the problem and reworking how one thinks but when those feelings are just something your body goes through because of hormones and there genuinely is no cause what are you meant to do then?
Plus, how do you even begin to explain that feeling to other people? If you admit how your feeling it’s not like anyone can actually help you, they can make things a little easier maybe but the feelings are always going to return every single month and there is absolutely no way to explain why you feel off unless you’re willing to tell someone it’s your period, and even then saying “my period is messing me up” isn’t going to actually get you sympathy or help. Other people who menstruate may say “oh I get that!” And joke a bit about how much it sucks but they don’t actually get how awful it is when you have PMDD, it’s not the same as a normal period. Most people don’t suddenly fall into a severe depression once a month because of their fucking period.
My point, I guess, is that having PMDD is both invalidating and isolating. It’s the sort of thing that can make you feel really hopeless sometimes because it’s never going to go away, you’re only option is to try and lessen it and push through it.
HIJAB BUTCH BLUES by LAMYA H.
Alright, changing it up a bit with my book stuff but this one hit home with me. The author draws very interesting parallels between stories in the Quran and her experiences as a gay muslim woman that are very interesting. And if you think you can’t be muslim and gay, or wear a hijab and be gay, or even tackle muslim culture and queerness in one, then you’re bound to be pleasantly proved wrong with this one.
Being the oldest sibling in a dysfunctional family dynamic is it's own experience not gonna lie.
Like imagine being 9 years old and you're trying to comfort your little siblings, so you start repeating all the "he loves you he just has a bad temper" "you just need to behave better because you know how he gets" lines you been told all your life, but you realise in that moment that it is utter bullshit.
That you're looking at a kid who doesn't even know how to spell their name yet, and you're telling them that they need to be responsible for the behaviour of a grown adult man.
And you realise that every other person who has had this conversation with you was an adult who was totally comfortable to do that.

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Oh my mum's superpower of manipulation
I'm so tired of seeing things from my mother's point of view when she never attempts to understand mine.
realizing it’s not normal to be in my room with my door closed and still not able to fully relax because i’m scared someone’s going to walk in on me even if im not doing anything wrong i’m just terrified

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It's such a strange and unique way of fucking up your kid when you at the same time a) treat them like a personal therapist giving them problems that are decades away from anything that they could handle, and expecting the kid to actually fix your grown up problems and to listen to your trauma.
And b) at the same time never give them any real outside world responsibility, making sure that they know as little as possible about how to actually survive in the real world, like paying bills, etc.
Meanwhile making sure but all of your child's self-worth is tied to their actions, and not who they are as a person.
It's a weird little vicious circle, that is so incredibly hard to outgrow, because like I know I'm not worthless just because there might be a time when I'm not productive, and I know I don't have to fix everyone's problems, and I know that I'm a capable adult who can do all the things I need to do to survive and thrive, but my basic training for life goes against all that!
i feel like there's a point being the oldest sibling where you stop being your parents' child and start being just some person who happens to live in the house
It’s really hard coming out of a toxic situation. You start to see all the things in your own life that fell away and fell apart because you were SO focused on keeping someone else happy. You can’t help but feel a little grief about the time lost.
Remember if you can give that much to someone else you can give it to yourself too.
Are you normal or do you have hypervigilence problems because you always had to be aware of your family members moods growing up in order to deescalate situations before the arose

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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headphones aren't enough. i need the song to stab me in the chest