I'm so Emo

True Suicide Story

Jaxon Matthias

parents always bother me when they say this stuff. my parents have said the same to me when i first told them i felt i needed to be hospitalized 3 & a half years ago, for the first time. i’ve been dealing with mental health issues since i was very young. i had been self harming for 2 years at the time, they had no idea. i was hiding it very well. i was hiding an eating disorder, 2 suicide attempts, & severe depression. they didn’t see those symptoms, because i chose to hide them. reasoning for hiding those symptoms is simply put; i was afraid they’d be mad. but when it got to the point where i couldn’t handle it on my own, i told them. my mom just looked at me like “you’ve got to be kidding me” honestly, because she didn’t believe me. she made a problem out of it. 3 years later, now 19, having gone through a handful of therapists & 9 psychiatric hospitalizations, i don’t tell her about my issues, ever. all because of her first reaction. if you want your child(ren) to trust you, don’t act like you know them better than they know themselves. just because YOU don’t see what’s really going on, doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong. i’d think about that, because maybe you broke her trust somewhere down the line to make her hide symptoms.