are you on fire?

Jean Grey was a pale shadow of Wanda. A ghost. A wannabe. While Wanda was lightning and thundercloud, Jean was only a breath of wind. Wanda was an earthquake. Jean was a crack in the road. Jean Grey was knock-off Wanda, and if there’s one thing living in America had taught him, it was you never buy generic.

She hadn’t seemed to get the message though, despite being from this strange country. He’d followed her for hours. Or maybe it felt like hours. It was probably forty minutes or so, but God it felt like forever. The Grove was immense for a mall. Pietro was more used to main streets and corner shops. Everything in Los Angeles was both compact and spread out, the density of Tokyo but stretched into two story buildings, parched by the sun, baking. Grey moved from store to store slowly. Tortuously slowly.  Marvel Girl shopped at Hot Topic. Well, she didn’t buy anything that he caught but she looked. The place had been a little overwhelming for him. A wall of sound and color. Too many places to look. The Farmer’s Market was a little better. More smells than lights. Easy to grab things as he moved, darting from hiding spot to hiding spot.

She was prettier than he remembered. Or perhaps his memory was clouded by hate and panic. Deep red hair, that pleasant orange that bottles couldn’t achieve. A thin frame, gawky to less charitable eyes, like Wanda stretched out, her curves pulled away to accommodate her height. Jean was like Kate that way. Long but compact. Lanky, like him. Wanda was his little Sânziana, his gentle fairy, small but powerful, a force of nature only seen when she wanted to be, round like the world. Jean Grey had no such luxury. She was exposed as she worked and there in lay her weakness. She could read his mind, maybe control it if he slowed down long enough. Pretty as she was it made her dangerous. Not the good kind of dangerous, like Jessica. More like his dark nightmares of Syd, his mind not his own. His fears about Wanda, that she would shatter and he would too.

It was sick what she did, what Xavier did. Invade the mind, carry light into the caverns he didn’t want to face. That he’d decided didn’t exist. For everyone’s safety. The darkness was so dark and cold he was sure it would engulf him. He filled it with the searing white of his hatred. Comfort in heat, like when he was a child and his nightmares pulled him close to his sister in the night. He would cauterize the wound his second decade on this earth had left with anger and in that rage he would find serenity. That rage existed in all his family, as far as he could tell. Wanda had proved it to him that Valentine’s Day. In one bright flash his fear of the redhead that haunted his dreams when he was fifteen (in more ways than one) was transformed into anger. And that anger burned like a fire at the heart of the sun.

But for now she could at least grab them a few things. The basics, so that they could at least begin to appear to fit into Los Angeles. Because they were here for at least the foreseeable future, regardless of what the Maximoffs wanted. Jean involuntarily tensed at the thought before smiling again and running a hand through her hair. The Los Angeles heat made her long hair stick to the back of her neck, but she wasn’t going to cut it -- at least not now. Maybe sometime in the far future, but for now -- and for a while -- it had served has a comfort of sorts. Like the blankets that children wrap themselves in at daycare centers, or stuffed animals they bring along to doctor’s appointments. She needed her hair, despite the fact that its shade did only serve as an attention grabber.

Which wasn’t exactly ideal, but the thought of chopping off her hair wasn’t appealing in the least, and so it stayed.

She’d wandered around a good deal of The Grove, even daring to stop into a store called ‘Hot Topic’. Which, given that she’d wandered in as an attempt to get away from the noise of the rest of the mall, wasn’t the smartest idea she’d had in a while. Because that store was something else. Music blaring all over, and the few thoughts that she’d said ‘what the hell, why not?’ and listened to were -- something else. People with hair that stood out even more than her’s. Because while deep orangey-red was something else, some of the folks in the store had been sporting blues and even multi-colored looks. So she’d ducked right back out of the store not too long after that, ducked into J. Crew, back out, and to the farmer’s market.

They had fresh fruits and samples from nearby bakeries -- things that, Jean was happy to find tasted wonderful. Los Angeles certainly did have its merits.

And it gave her things to concentrate on, so that she didn’t slip and read the minds of the hundreds of people surrounding her. Because she’d decided to go out on her own again without having Scott or anybody around to distract her. Because on some level, she needed to prove that she could do this. She was just as good at this as anybody else.

(Which of course, was not nearly as true as she attempted to make it out to be, but she needed to remind herself that this was part of why she’d come to Los Angeles.) The main part had to do with the fact that Professor Xavier had asked, but then came her need to prove that this was something she could do. She wasn’t the terrified eleven year old who spent too much time curled up around herself on her bed until the nice boy with red glasses came and talked to her, didn’t care when she told him that thinking that they should have ice cream for dinner was outlandish. Didn’t care when she cried and screamed when the thoughts of the other students got to be too much. Didn’t care when she buried her face in his chest when she became too exhausted. She was a teacher now, she was in control (mostly) of her powers.

And of course she still needed her anchors, but she needed to find a way to navigate the world on her own if she ever wanted to have continued successes.

She transferred a bag from one hand to the other and twirled some of her hair around her finger, stopping by a stand with fruit cups when she saw a small sliver of silver out of the corner of her eye and tensed. The woman at the stall raised an eyebrow and Jean flashed her a small smile. “Sorry. I’ll have the berry one,” she gestured to a plastic cup filled with a range of almost every berry imaginable and payed the woman before continuing to walk. She could turn around, see if he was there, but he could disappear in almost no time. And she could try to find his thoughts, but she’d refrain from that for now -- it’d be too much, and if he’d already run off then that would be a waste as well.

She pressed her fingers against her temple and gathered her own thoughts for a moment, stuffing the berry container into one of her bags.

Should she see if he’d approach her? She wouldn’t be entirely opposed to that, though his temper was even worse than Wanda’s -- but she’d promised Professor Xavier that she would try. Try to be open to the Maximoffs, try to forget what had happened five years ago, try to forgive them for not joining the X-Men and then up and joining the Avengers. Try try try. Only to some avail.

I think you could win the hunger games if you really wanted to. I believe in you. 

A scrapbook will be required up. on meeting, where I will then grade it. If you make an A+ you pass. If you get anything less you fail. As a teacher I’m sure you can appreciate my grading scale. (please note that this paragraph was not at all serious)

Perfect. I could probably host a diner party as an excuse to meet them all. I am very interested in putting faces to the names I’ve heard for years.

I guess Steve needs the companion. If he wasn’t Steve I would have stolen Lucky from him, but no one steals from Steve. 

So does that mean you do not want to be part of my kidnapping plan? Cause it’s a two person job and you are the only one I trust to help me get it done right.

I think staying home sounds much more fun then the fancy dresses and handsome dates. We missed out, but now that we’re in the same state again we’ve got a second chance at staying home and eating marshmallows.

Not to brag but I’m on first name biases with Captain America. Futz, i’ve even talked about him in this letter already.

You know, we could go stand outside Avenger mansion and wait for someone to come out. OR we could break in. Not really though, I’d rather not deal with that. But we can throw rocks at the windows.

Perfect! I’ll give you a call soon. I’m looking forward to it!

The belief is much appreciated, thank you. But let’s just hope we don’t have to deal with any Hunger Games - style events, ever. 

I do believe that grading scale might be just a smidgen harsh, Kate. So I’m glad to see it’s all in jest and sarcasm. I don’t like grading because I always feel bad if I have to give the kids a not so great grade. But I do usually offer extra credit, so I guess that makes up for it, yeah?

I think they could probably handle a dinner party. I’ll have to check in, but I’m sure it’d be fine. Swell, even. Or something to that end. My Professor is always pleased to meet new people, especially good ones such as yourself.

Well, I hope you can visit Lucky soon.

Nope, going to have to give kidnapping a pass. It wouldn’t look to good on my record, after all. I don’t think they let kidnappers teach. Even at a place where the administration’s known me since I was eleven.

Staying home is always preferable. We should do that soon, yes? We can even wear fancy dresses if you’d like. An excuse for shopping is always something I’m in favor of. The malls around here seem great.

Again, I think I’ll pass on throwing rocks. Sorry to be not so fun. But meeting the Avengers is something I’m interested in doing sometime, actually. 

Looking forward to your call!

Love and adoration,

Nice to meet you too, Clint. Oh, nope. Far from being a native. I’m in town with some folks from a school I teach at in New York. It’s my first time in Los Angeles, and I couldn’t pass up the chance to come when my Professor asked. 

It gladness me to hear that you’ve perfected envelope opening. It’s a skill I struggle with daily, in fact the last envelope you sent me now has the jagged lines of haste. Maybe you’ll teach me your skills one day. Also, I’m definitely expecting a photo album of envelopes through the years.  

That was a joke.

Probably.

You’re in L.A?? That’s great! Does that mean I finally get to meet the infamous Scott? I’ve been curious about him since forever. Also your professors. Now that we’re in the same state do I get to meet everyone? I feel like I practically know them already. 

Oh, I still have visitation rights over Lucky, but that’s about it. He left town, and you know who he left Lucky with? Steve. Steve is not me. I would have taken the greatest care of Lucky! Lucky and Mop get along great! But now, Lucky is with Steve. Steve is an old man, who doesn’t love him as much as I do. It’s tragic. 

So who’s watching the school while everyone is in L.A.? Anyhow that job sounds great for you. Perfect even. I’m sure they love you, and you’re taking great care of them. 

Oh Henry is the cutest! He’s tiny. It’s weird seeing babies. Like sure I see pictures of them, but when you see one in person it’s like ‘woah you are  a tiny human. how was i ever that tiny?’ But he’s great. Maybe I’ll kidnap him and bring him to L.A. when he’s old enough. Parent’s like having breaks from their children, right?

[picture of henry, susan’s kid] 

Yeah at least we had that going for us! You lucked out when you left for your fancy super secret school, or I bet your mom would have convinced you to do the whole debutante ball route. If your mom would have made you do that, I’m sure I would have been tricked into it. If mom was alive she’d ask me just so your mom wouldn’t have shown her up. Then again, we’re smart cookies, we probably could have talked our way out of it.

Well now i’m just super curious about what important business you have in L.A. You can’t see me, since this is a letter, but I am dramatically side eyeing you and burning with questions. Seems like everyone interesting is showing up in L.A. These days. Did you know the Avengers were also taking up residence here? I saw Thor the other day. His arms are a god send, and his hair makes me jealous. Seriously, if he ever wanted to stay on Earth he could easily get a job as a model. 

What, Jean? You don’t want to fall in love with someone who breaks into your bedroom to watch you sleep? Isn’t that romantic? This is all sarcasm by the way. I’d buffy the vampire slay someone who did that to me so fast. But yeah, Hunger Games has been great for business. If I had a paint ball range I would be hosting a hunger games event so fast, but alas, I don’t want to trust a bunch of kids with soft tip arrows to not switch them out to be “funny.” 

Well of course now that you’re in L.A. we have to do something! I’m currently unable to leave my current location, but after June I’m all yours. We’re good to go drinking! I’m looking forward to it. Look at us, old enough to drink and finally back in the same city. L.A. better watch out.

I appreciate the reference, even though I’m hardly up to who Katniss is. But thank you, regardless.

I don’t have all the envelopes with me, but if a scrapbook is required, I can certainly make one. I’ve got a box of them back in New York.

Sure, you can meet Scott. I’m sure you two would get along! He really is one of the best people in my entire life. And yeah -- you can meet my teachers. I’ll just have to explain you to them. And how you don’t know exactly what my powers are but you’re good and wouldn’t turn us in

I’m sorry Lucky got left with Steve. But sometimes old people need companion animals. That’s why senior centers host visits from pets or whatever sometimes. I think? Either way, I hope you get to see Lucky again soon. 

Other people that the Professor trusts. I was, with Scott for a little while but now we’re here, so we passed it along. Plus, it’s almost summer and while the kids don’t all go home, they’ll have less to do as far as instruction goes. I feel a bit guilty about leaving them, but some of my students have my number so they can contact me if they need to.

Babies are weird. But cute. I’m sure Susan would let you “borrow” Henry, so you don’t have to kidnap him -- which, even when well-intentioned is technically illegal and you should probably avoid that. Henry is quite adorable, aww!

Sometimes I wish I could’ve done that ‘normal’ route

Yeah, probably. But I bet you and I could have gotten the most handsome of dates and worn lovely dresses. Or talked the moms out of it and spent that time in your house or upstate in mine painting our nails and eating marshmallows and watching movies.

I’m sorry I can’t tell you, but it does have to do with my school. And those who go there. I’d heard about the Avengers being here -- my Professor’s planning to talk with them sometime soon. Or that’s his hope. I want to see Thor’s arms. Or maybe meet Captain America.

I think I caught the sarcasm. No, I prefer my prospective significant others not in my room watching me when I’m unaware. It’s an invasion of privacy. Which is ironic given what my powers are and do and I could hear anyone’s thoughts- -That’s probably a good call. Don’t want anyone getting hurt.

After June sounds great. Old enough to drink, in the same city. Pretty near destiny, I think.

With /even/ more love, Jean

My Fierce Carrot Top, 

I know it’s been about a year since my last letter to you, sorry about that. Life got a bit hectic, you know? First off, I don’t live in New York anymore. So my return address has changed. I hope you didn’t rip up the envelope beyond repair in your eagerness to read my awesome letter, but just in case you did here’s the new address. 

[address]

Yup, that’s right. I’m a L.A. woman now. Beach, sun, dogs. Oh, I got a dog. Clint took Lucky away from me. I guess he forgets Lucky loves me more (or chooses to believe it’s not true). Lucky actually lived with me for the longest time before I had to go visit New York. Anyway, when I came back Clint got me a new dog. His name is Mop, he’s darling. Here’s a picture so you can put a cute face to the name. 

I’ve met so many awesome people in L.A, made a few friends. You know life’s been pretty good here. Oh, Susan had her baby, I don’t remember if I told you. He was a sick infant, but he’s better now. Of course I spoil him. I can’t walk by a toy shop without picking something up for him. Susan thinks it’s weird because they get Henry everything he could ever want, but since I’m not in New York anymore I need to make sure my favorite nephew loves me as much as I love him. So I’m buying the love. 

I moved apartments recently which mean I found some awesome things. Remember this old gem? 

I swear I remember whispering to you about how stupid the photo shoot was and that I wish we didn’t have to do it. But now I just see how ADORABLE WE WERE. Good times. Who knew mom would be right when she told me to suck it up because i’ll enjoy the photo when i’m older.

Well, that’s about all that’s going on in my life. Other then work. I’m working for Bishop Publishing right now, but that’s not a big surprise. We set up a location in L.A. and I just get to over sea it. The power is mine, I’m not complaining. (Seriously though, I just don’t show up for work that often. I’m a bad employee.)

Oh, I own an archery range! That’s cool. Some times I offer lessons, but really it runs itself. It’s great how many people want to learn archery now that the hunger games movies are coming out. It’s really funny, sometimes i’ll be walking around the range and i’ll just hear a cheer and someone will yell “CALL ME KATNISS CAUSE I ROCK AT THIS” good times.

Well, that’s about it for me. I hope your school is going well, and life is treating you well. Don’t be a stranger, I miss you. Well, I’ll talk to you later! 

Sorry for the delay in responding. And I would never rip up your envelope. I’ve perfected the whole opening it swiftly while still keeping the envelope itself intact. I would’ve gotten to it sooner, but I was actually doing a bit of moving myself. 

We apparently have a fondness for similar states. I’m also in L.A., as of not too long ago. My Professor moved out here, and Scott and I came with him. I’d never seen California before, and he was coming out here for business, so I figured why not? 

Oh, Mop’s adorable! I’m sorry Clint’s taken Lucky away from you, but Mop looks like he’ll be a more than suitable companion for you. And hey, if Clint’s here, you can still at least see Lucky? Yeah? He hasn’t revoked visiting privileges because of your temporary adoption of Lucky?

New friends are always good. I’ve not had the chance of doing that in a while, but work keeps me busy. I think I mentioned this, but I got employed at the school I used to go to. So I can help kids out. It feels good. Also helping Professor Xavier with whatever else he needs. It can be a lot, but it’s nice. Makes me feel good -- which I guess /is/ the ideal way of living life, if you can.

Susan had the kid?! Oh, I bet he’s adorable. And you’re a good aunt. I’m sure he’ll love you no matter what, but sending him fun presents certainly won’t hurt!!

Oh -- I do remember that picture. Those socks were really itchy. Hey, our moms wanted cute photos of their daughters to prove that they were good moms with ties to New York’s upper class. But at least we didn’t have to go it alone, huh? I did love those shiny silvery-gold shoes, though.

And we were rather adorable. I think sometimes we don’t realize in the moment just how important something is -- especially when we weren’t all too old at all.

You’re not a bad employee. I think a lot of bosses/over-seer people don’t always show up. Plus, I’m sure you’ve got other things keeping you occupied. I miss some of the kids back at the school in New York, but Professor Xavier and I and the others are here for important reasons, as is our nature. So I try not to miss them too much. They’re well cared for anyways.

Ooh, archery? That’s impressive. I can imagine that The Hunger Games would lend itself to more people wanting to learn archery. Like how Harry Potter made so many kids want to be wizards. And those Twilight books (which I never read) made a lot of people want to be/date vampires. That isn’t something I can see the appeal of. Bleck.

I miss you too. If you want -- we can hang out? Get drinks, even. And not Shirley Temples in fancy glasses.