* confrontation
Ā Ā hoseok would never hurt jimin.
Ā Ā those words were weak and stupid, maybe, but namjoon believed them. namjoon was certain that hoseok would never lay a hand on jimin. he hadnāt been there when the entire truth was revealed, but jimin was still here. jimin was right in front of him - broken, for sure, but alive. hoseok, even with his way of thinking, would never hurt jimin and jimin would never hurt hoseok. he knew that. he trusted that. and maybe that was why he never questioned the truth.Ā
Ā Ā he watched the other collect his things. he stood up then,Ā āi knew this would make you upset, but pretending it didnāt happen is a lot worse! i know it was stupid, but i truly believe that the two of you would be fine. god, you two were so disgustingly head over heels in love with each other that you remind me of those gross couples on the street that make you hate your entire life because youāre alone and not doing that! yes, stupid. yes, no excuse, but it is the truth! you both are stupid. so stupid to let this get between you!ā
Ā Ā he had no idea where he was doing with this anymore, but the words just kept coming. this canāt be the end of hoseok and jimin. no. he couldnāt let that happen.Ā āgrow up! both of you! it is time to kick this in the butt and deal with it. iām not telling you to be accepting of what he does, but you love each other! donāt even try to tell me thatās over with now because you just donāt stop loving someone! if you stop loving someone, then you never loved them at all! so just stop moping around and do something. take action!ā
every single thing namjoon says-- every single fuckingĀ word-- is like salt being rubbed in the wound, only destabilizing the careful wall jiminās built up further, the only thing thatās been keeping him from crashing down completely save for seokjinās steady hands. itās a mixture of horrible feelings, a toxic concoction of anger and grief, and the ghostly sensation of sinking underwater again even though itās been weeks since what happened. itās bringing it all back, and jimin bites back his tears with a gasp, trembling on the spot. he doesnāt want to think about that. he doesnāt want to think about hoseok, before everything happened, why did namjoon have to remind him? why did namjoon have to remind him what he lost?Ā he just wishes namjoon would stop, stop, stop--
āgrow up? grow up, namjoon? thatās what you think we need to do?ā heās yelling at the top of his lungs now, and he shoves namjoon back away from him hard, not bothering to hold back when namjoon is currently the source of all the horrible things heās being forced to feel right now. he knows humans are fragile, he knows namjoonĀ is particularly fragile, but he doesnāt fucking care, he just wants namjoon to get away from him.Ā āitās not some petty fucking fight, he kills people like me. he is a murderer, and he told me himself he wasnāt sorry for it. i heard it from his own fucking mouth, namjoon.ā it hurts. it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. jimin stills, taking sharp gasps of breath while the tears stream down, expression pained and accusatory.
āhe called me a monster, hyung. itās not about not loving him, because fuckĀ you, of course i still love him. why do you think it hurts so much? itās not about not loving him, itās that he called me a fucking monster without even apologizing or thinking twice about it, because he cares more about killing people like me than the person behind the label. itās so fucking more than that, fuck you. no wonder you didnāt tell me, you really are just a fucking idiot.ā
he wants to order namjoon to get away from him, but heās almost desolate already as it is, shaking on the spot with his little fists clenched.
it still hurts. why did it still have to hurt?















