Illusion never changed

I haven’t been diagnosed with depression but I did go to therapy when I was in high school. I feel like I might need it again, I work and I went to school but I just don’t want to be around people. I will continue my education online and I will keep working but I wish I had more energy. I was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia and my engery levels are really low and I don’t have much time to be with my friends. I wish my mom understood better, she doesn’t and before I was officially diagnosed, she would tell me to stop whining. When I was in high school, she thought my depression was me being possessed and not actually depression even though she was depressed at some point in her life. When she realized before, sending me to therapy, she would tell me I had nothing to be depressed about. My depression isn’t being sad all the time, its about having no energy to do what I love and while half of that is also the fibromyalgia, I sometimes don’t feel like eating or sleeping. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I was in a mental institution or if I didn’t have to go to college and have a job which requires me to be around people. I love working with children but some days, I just don’t want to do anything. I used to write when I was deep in depression but now I don’t even want to write. I read fanfiction and I listen to music but sometimes I wish there was nothing I had to do, work, school, having a plan for the future. It’s too stressful.

i feel weird cause all i post on my instagram are selfies but i think that may be cause i hate my body so much… i haven’t been diagnosed with depression but the intense periods of sadness and anxiety i experiment for even months on end can’t be normal…

I got diagnosed with major depressive disorder almost a year ago in that time I’ve lost and gained more Weight than I ever have, self care is up and down and I deleted majority of my pictures of myself off my social media but I’ve been on anti depressants since my diagnosis and it definitely helps and when I’m more financially stable I’ll be going to therapy consistently but symptoms still linger it’s a very odd feeling you never just snap out of it and it’s not always sadness it kinda feels like your in limbo all the time it’s like that episode of spongebob when squidward finally moved away. I’m doing a lot better now and things like meds and meditating directly influenced that

i was diagnosed with clinical depression almost five years ago and as much as it seems like it sometimes goes away, it still comes back just as fucking hard. i get stuck in my head listening to the imaginary voice telling me i’m worthless and don’t have the energy to get out of bed and not scroll through my phone constantly. i hate that i get defensive and angry so quickly and can’t express myself the ways i want to because i’m too insecure and self conscious. my mom said it was fake, that my sister and i are just feeling these feelings for attention. this shit sucks man.

This is so accurate it’s scary