I didn't want a tumblr.

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

Ahhhh living in America around the 4th of July. Optimal time to play the game “was that gunshots or fireworks"

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

THE BOTTOM IS A PAINTING????

also does a really good job reminding the view just how much air quality has improved since we stopped burning coal in every building lol

im so sick of unnecessary dinner scenes in movies 😡 every fucking movie they just want to titillate you with some food because they think you’re a dumb animal who just wants to see mashed potatoes bouncing. if its an IMPORTANT dinner scene where they explain lore then whatever i understand. but they shove useless meals into every movie these days and its disgusting

its true though sex scenes are bad and you only are defending them cuz you wont question that men put their fetishes into everything. movies by women literally just dont have sex scenes and if rhey do its not gratuitous and lasts two seconds or its played for comedy . Fuck you and your dinners idc bro

movies by women literally just dont have sex scenes

i mean, it’s true! as long as you discount the crazy outliers like Jane Campion, Mary Harron, Sofia Coppola, Andrea Arnold, Julia Ducournau, Claire Denis, Céline Sciamma, Anna Biller, Jennifer Kent, Eliza Hittman, Cheryl Dunye, Dee Rees, Donna Deitch, Joanna Hogg, Rose Glass, Diablo Cody, Emma Seligman, Kitty Green, Halina Reijn, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Charlotte Wells,

Famously, women as a group have never had anything to say about sex. Certainly not artistically speaking.

Plus, what an absolute baller move to announce your regnal name as William the Last.

the Final Bill

#William the Last smacks of Douglas Adams

i’m not even that much of a pervert i can just find the eroticism in anything. doesn’t get me bricked up necessarily i just like to appreciate it.

Youre a mollusk and something potentially bad or scary gets inside you what do you do. Make a pearl around it. Okay. okay

You will not die at the hands of quicksand. Ask me how I know this

Please, how do you know this?

quicksand does not have any hands