rats

YOU’VE BEEN STRUCK BY

A SMOOTH CRIMINAL

Literally no one who follows me is going to know what this means, but HBomberguy, a Youtuber known for Video Essays about pop culture and gaming made a promise that he would live stream himself playing Donkey Kong 64, in its entirety (including picking up every single banana) and all money would go to a UK charity for trans youth (Mermaids) and his initial goal was $3,000 and now it’s been 26 hours into the stream and he’s already over $51k. I just need people to know about this https://m.twitch.tv/hbomberguy

so the national lottery here in the uk donates a bit of their money to a few designated charities, so basically every time you buy a lottery ticket some of that £2 or £3 goes towards charity. mermaids just so happens to be one of those charities and of course, a lot of people are not happy about that. more on that later

for those who don’t know already mermaids are a brilliant bunch. it was founded by a woman with a trans daughter (she made a ted talk about it here) and it helps trans kids who are looking to transition, trans kids who have unsupportive parents or may have even been kicked out, and has resources for the parents of trans kids and places like schools on how they can support a trans student/worker

enter graham linehan. he wrote a few shows like father ted and the it crowd. he’s also notorious for being incredibly transphobic and never shutting up about his hatred for trans people on his twitter.

so, what did he do? well, with his army of mumsnet dwellers, he got them all to spam the lottery with about a fuckton of emails telling them to stop funding Mermaids. not because they want them to think of the children, but rather they want them to stop thinking about the children. and in all their can-i-speak-to-the-manager-hair glory, they got the lottery to reconsider their grant.

mr hbomberguy (you may know him as the man behind hits such as Sherlock Is Garbage (and here’s why), and Fallout 3 Is Garbage (and here’s why)) sees this, thinks “graham what the everliving fuck” and also thinks “oh yeah i never finished donkey kong 64” which is where we are now.

so his goal is to 101% donkey kong 64. which, to my knowledge, takes around 33-36 hours to do. at the time of writing this he has had one sleep break and has just started another

may i also note the 10k goal was to erase graham linehan from existence

in short, fuck graham linehan

That cat became an icon THIS MONTH AND IS STILL ONE.

that’s Jo-Pawveski, a stray who wandered onto the ice and past the nashville predators bench during round 2 of playoffs. They eventually picked her up and sent her to the humane society.

Here she is.

The SAN JOSE SHARKS won that game and attributed it to her, naming her after the Sharks captain: Joe Pavelski. When they found out she was a girl, they changed her name to Jo instead of Joe.

She became an instant good luck charm after that as the Sharks won every game at home that series and moved onto round three.

Since then, every game, they stack pucks and stick a idol to Jo for luck.

This little cat has had merchendise made out of her. She’s literally almost replaced SJ sharkie as maschot of the team.

I mean. I’m not making this up. I HAVE A RALLY TOWEL OF HER THEY GAVE OUT FOR GAME 1 OF THE 3RD ROUND. I OWN THIS FUCKING THING:

FURRIES HAVE BEEN SHOWING UP DRESS AS HER. 

She had her own livestream to check in on her.

SHE’S IN THE PREGAME OPENING ANIMATION

And so I know what you’re gonna say here.

Well… what happened to Jo, though.

Good news, This week, as Sharks made their first Stanley Cup, Jo and another Kitty were adopted. 

And that kids, is the story of JO PAWVELSKI.

The stray black cat of the San Jose Sharks. 

My freshman year of college I was walking around campus when a very friendly looking girl waved at me. I’m awkward, so of course I waved back. The next week, the same thing.

This began the weirdest saga of my life.

For the next two years, we greeted each other as old friends every time we came across the other. She knew my name (somehow?), I never could figure hers out and it was WAY too late to ask. I just pretended I knew who she was and why she knew me.

Finally, I joined the honors program and entered my classes for my thesis. Who should be in this class but mystery girl! I was horrified. I wouldn’t be able to pass it off anymore.

First day of class we are all sitting there chatting and she greets me by name, again. I had finally learned her name from attendance, thank God. Someone asks, finally, “oh, so do you two know each other? Where’d you meet?”

Silence.

I stare at her. She stares at me. Finally she breaks down wailing. “I don’t know! I don’t know, okay, we’ve just been waving at each other for two years and it was too late to ask!”