YunaAki Moments Collection: Chapter 31
49ish more chapters to cover. Maybe a few more less than that.
Every month, my heart gets to break once 💔 Ain’t life wonderful? 🥲
No storybook style this time cuz the tone has gotten a little more serious when talking about the past (as well it should since Kaito and Akiho’s childhoods are portrayals of child abuse, after all).
Ch 31 basically reiterates what chapter 26 said. Despite some time had passed, Kaito still showed no interest in other people. He still thought it was a hassle (面倒) to get involved with them, to even think about them in general. Any desire to connect with another person was non-existent (皆無) for him.
To add to that, his magic also continued to grow stronger. To the point where he didn’t need to be taught how to perform new magic because he’s able to master it an instant (教える前に出来しまうので).
He surpassed all those around him without even trying. And that enormous talent made the other magicians fear and avoid him, drawing out his solitude. His attitude towards being alone persisted.
“This is so pointless, why bother? Magic, getting along with people, having fun? I don’t get any of that at all. It’s much easier to be alone. I’d always prefer to be alone and have it stay that way.”
This is very sad. Look at Kaito in this above panel. He was so young but his eyes were already half dead at that age.
He had never experienced joy nor warmth. Everyone around him treated him with coldness and only approached him to get something out of it.
Every interaction felt so transactional, every discussion was laced with ulterior motives on the other end. No wonder Kaito wanted to isolate himself from others. He didn’t need magic to see how greedy and manipulative they were. Why the hell would he want to hang around people like that?
This is not how a child should think. But because he grew up in an environment that never taught him the values of love and companionship, Kaito inevitably developed a huge distrust of the world. And who could blame him for feeling that way?
Then came the meeting several years later where the members of the Magic Association gathered to discuss the magical artifact they had created in collaboration with Akiho’s clan.
All these fuckos were marveling at how “amazing” this achievement was, how many magicians lost their powers just to create this tool and how “it’ll never happen again in a lifetime, raahhh!” blah blah blah
I swear, I wanna kill them all! 💢
Meanwhile, Kaito’s not even paying attention. He’s yawning, bored out of his mind, and wants to take a damn nap. That’s how unconcerned he is about the affairs of magicians despite being part of their circle. That’s how much he doesn’t care.
But what’s more alarming is what he’s musing to himself regarding hunger. Here’s the translation:
“…I think…I feel like I’m hungry… I wonder if there are any solid foods left…”
Very strange wording. If a person is hungry, they’d simply say so and maybe even include a preference of what they’d like to eat. That’s the normal thing to do.
But Kaito isn’t normal because he never grew up learning that the sensation of hunger is a natural feeling for humans. Not just to have but also to chase. For him, hunger is merely an instinct to follow in order to keep himself alive. He is still in the same survival mode he was in when he was a kid.
That’s why he never developed any personal preferences. To him, it didn’t matter how food tastes or what kind he ate as long as it fills his stomach and keeps his body going. The only reason he mentions “solid foods” is because those will hold him over longer until the next time he’s hungry again.
Kaito is not only indifferent about people, he very much doesn’t care about himself either.
He’s just here, existing without a purpose. And if he dies tomorrow, then oh well, that’s that. He really doesn’t (know how to) care at all.
But there is one thing that catches his attention during the magicians’ discussion and it’s the mention of “the last child born to that clan” (あちらに最後に生まれた子供たが).
Kaito hasn’t met Akiho yet. Hell, he probably doesn’t even know her name. But he’s aware of who she is because he’s seen her once before…and because he already knew back then that she’s the daughter of the woman who tried to get close to him.
A couple of years ago, he was asked to evaluate her. Despite Akiho being born from the two most powerful magicians in her clan, she showed no signs of having any powers herself.
The memory is illustrated with what resembles splinters of glass. But while the imagery looks magical, that moment was anything but.
He took a good look at her, alright, but found nothing there (何もありません).
Akiho didn’t possesses any powers. She was like blank book (まるで『真っ白な本』のように) and he told it to the magicians in those exact words.
The words that doomed her to fate. The words that would chain him to regret and guilt afterward and the reason why he had no qualms about sacrificing himself to save her.
It is not clear if Kaito thought about Akiho at all since the day he made the “blank book” comment.
By what these panels are suggesting, he probably didn’t. He probably assumed that what he said would be enough for the magicians to leave her alone. Maybe they’d even put Akiho up for adoption since he honestly believed her clan wouldn’t want to keep a child who had no powers due to their stupid pride.
At the very least, unlike him, she would’ve had a chance to leave the magicians’ world where happiness couldn’t be found at all.
But when Kaito learned that they did the exact opposite of what he expected, everything changed. His reaction to hearing that Akiho became the artifact is not shown but we know it impacted him strongly enough to finally move on his own will.
When he first saw Akiho from a distance, he did feel obliged to help her in the only way he thought he could. But the moment was fleeting and he couldn’t have predicted what was going to happen to her afterwards. He underestimated just how cruel magicians could be when they twisted simple logic into a disgusting idea just to better serve themselves.
That’s why Kaito couldn’t allow this to go any further when he heard about Akiho the second time. He felt the failure of his first attempt to help her and it was harsh on his conscience. What he said didn’t save her, it made things worse.
But more than that, it made him care. For the first time in his life, the genuine emotion of caring about someone else was born within him.
It was his concern for Akiho that pushed him to act, to decide that he needed to make things right because he felt responsible for letting such an error happen.
But the fact that Kaito is still dreaming about the past means that day (and his words) continues to weigh heavily on his mind.
As long as the guilt is there, he’ll continue to see his “mistake” being replayed over and over.
Kaito is also contracted to Momo’s taboo book so that probably makes his dreams appear all the more vivid as well.
It’s not just Akiho (the perceived owner of the book) and Sakura (the new character who has recently entered the book’s magical radar) whose records are being written down in its pages. The memories of the actual owner, Kaito, have and are also being recorded.
And since Kaito has given/lent the taboo book to Akiho as a storybook, it will reorganize all those details and present it as a narrative. Hence why Momo explains to Kaito that he’s seeing his dreams like one would witness a story unfold:
貴方が過去を絵本風に朗読されていたからか (Maybe it’s because you are reading the past like it’s a picture book)
今の夢も絵本風でしたよ (That the dream you had just now feels like picture book)
途中で過去映像になってしいましたが (Halfway through, the past became like a film)
The dialogue is so redundant here 🙄
But yes, given that everything eventually culminates into a stage play, it makes sense why Akiho and Kaito’s records are presented in a way that reads like a story.
Because Kaito, the contractor (and therefore, the real current owner) of the taboo book, wants it to be a story. He’s directing the narrative into the endgame he wishes for.
Momo then asks “Does that story [of your making] look like it’ll have a happy end?”
To which Kaito answers, “It will. Definitely.”
He sounds so confident. There’s not a shred of doubt that can be found in this expression 👆 he’s showing right now. It’s not a matter of “can he do it” but that he will do it.
He will, without fail, write Akiho into a normal family where she doesn’t have to remember her horrible past ever again.
Of course Momo knows that’s Kaito’s intention and she’s not happy with it.
Yet despite being aware of his plan, she doesn’t tell him directly that she disapproves (even though she should here cuz that’s just common sense at this point, no excuses).
Instead, she’s still talking things in a roundabout manner and asking him “For whom will it be a happy ending?”
While Kaito just sits there, almost innocently dumbfounded like “what do you mean? It’s obviously for Akiho-san’s sake, who else? 🙁??”
I mean, I love Momo. I adore her character so much. But this method to get through to Kaito was never going to work if all she ever does is pose vague questions at him.
Kaito has been thoroughly convinced for a long time that the “happy ending” he envisioned is the best and only way to save Akiho. What’s more, his guilt over the "blank book" comment is what's keeping him from believing there could be another way where he doesn’t have to erase himself from Akiho’s memories.
It’s so strange that Momo doesn’t try harder to at least feed some doubt into his head about this plan. Especially when she’s one of the few who’s fully aware of what’s going on and therefore, can influence the present to avoid the worst scenarios from happening in the future.
This just doesn’t line up with how blunt her personality usually is. It’s a cheap trick to drag the plot out longer than it should. Throwing out questions but not allowing the characters to find the answers even when they’re capable of doing so.
Bad writing. Bad author. 😑💢
