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summary: You leave the technician preference blank because you donโt really care who you get. Thatโs how you end up spread out on a treatment table with Art Donaldson, whoโs going to shave your hair down there.
pairings: technician!art donaldson x afab client!reader
note: because this is an intimate shaving fic, reader is described as having pubic hair. reblogs and comments are very much appreciated!
Itโs past midnight, and youโre scrolling in bed with your phone screenโs brightness turned down low. You just want a basic wax or a facial to relax for thirty minutes. You type body waxing near me to scroll through the results until a place called Angel Estetica catches your eye. The website looks exactly like what the actual place looks like. You click the link to check the menu.
SERVICES โฑ treatment menu ๏น click to view ๏น โฃ
Full body waxing
Bikini laser
Sugaring
Dermaplaning
Intimate shaving
โIntimate shaving?โ you mumble. You tap the option to see what it is, and a new page loads up with the logo in the corner.
PACKAGES โฑ choose your service ๏น select one ๏น โฃ
Bikini line ๊ฑ This treatment focuses on the edges only to keep things neat for a swimsuit. The session includes a warm towel and an application of our aftercare balm.
Brazilian soft ๊ฑ This option removes all hair from the front to the back for a completely bare finish. The package includes an optional rinse, a calming balm, and a warm towel.
Signature bare ๊ฑ This service focuses specifically on the labia and excludes the backside. We use a sterilized razor with hypoallergenic cream for a perfectly clean shave. A warm towel and aftercare balm are included at the end.
REMINDERโ โกโ The technician will walk you through each step, and they may request gentle repositioning to ensure full access. This service is strictly non-sexual, discreet, and performed only by trained hands.
Your eyes read the offers on the screen, and you realize that paying a stranger to use a razor near your cunt sounds crazy, but it also sounds really nice. Your legs squeeze together beneath the blanket as you think about it. Itโs been a long time since you let someone get that close to you. You just want to lie there while a professional takes care of you without making a big deal of it. โFuck it,โ you mutter before you hit the book button, and the screen loads to a new page for your contact details.
You type in a nickname instead of your real name, and you use a burner email just in case. You leave the phone number blank before clicking next. A small calendar pops up to show the available appointments. Tomorrow morning is way too early, so you scroll down until you find a spot right after lunch on Friday. โThat works,โ you mumble while tapping the screen to select the time. A checkbox appears at the bottom of the page, right after. The box is just another reminder stating the service is strictly non-sexual. You click it to confirm you understand, without thinking it through too much.
The final step asks if you have a preferred technician. Thereโs a short list of names to pick from, but you ignore it. You just want someone professional who wonโt make things weird while they do their job. Leaving it blank automatically assigns someone, so you just press the submit button. The screen loads for a second before showing a message that your booking was received. You lock your phone to roll over your bed. Your screen lights up thirty seconds later with a new notification.
APPOINTMENT โฑ confirmation ๏น click to view ๏น โฃ
Hello. Your appointment has been successfully booked.
Service ๊ฑ Intimate Shaving - Signature Bare
Date ๊ฑ Friday
Time ๊ฑ 2:00 p.m.
Technician ๊ฑ Art Donaldson
REMINDERโ โกโ Please arrive 5-10 minutes early if possible. Arriving 15 minutes late means your appointment will be given to others. See you soon.
You blink at your phone, as if you did something that offended you. โArt Donaldson?โ you say out loud as you sit up in bed to read the screen again. It made your stomach drop when you realized you really left the technician option completely blank. You stare at the male name on the screen and wonder what you just got yourself into. You tap back to the website page and scroll down until you find the specialist section. Thereโs a photo of Art Donaldson where heโs wearing a polo, with a good haircut and stubble. He looks young with a friendly smile that makes your skin prickle. โOh, youโve got to be kidding me,โ you whisper while staring right at his picture.
His brief bio says heโs fully trained and has years of experience under his hands. The profile about him includes reviews from past clients who call him gentle and professional. You scroll down further to read comments from other women as you try to reassure yourself. One of them says she was incredibly nervous, and another mentions it was her first time getting bare. You find a review that calls it the most relaxed she ever felt with her legs open towards a man she doesnโt even know. โWell, at least heโs got good reviews,โ you mutter when you finish reading the comments.
You tell yourself that this is just a job for him because heโs a trained professional. Youโve been to the gynecologist before, so this shouldnโt feel any different. You glance at the clock to see itโs already 1:31 a.m. and realize you shouldnโt be worrying this much this late. You let your head fall back onto the pillow, but your stomach flips when you picture his hands holding a razor between your legs. Youโll just show up at your appointment like a normal adult because itโs only shaving. โI just need to go to sleep,โ you groan while yanking the blanket over your face, and you manage to fall asleep eventually, but Friday afternoon arrives much quicker than you expected.
The first thing you notice when you walk into Angel Estetica is that the place is completely covered in different shades of pink. There are orchid-pink chairs and rose curtains everywhere, while jazz music plays to make people feel relaxed. The whole place looks like it was designed to make women feel completely comfortable. The receptionist wears clear lip gloss, and she smiles immediately when you walk up to the front desk. โHi there, do you have an appointment with us today?โ she asks while looking up from her computer. โYes, I have an appointment,โ you reply, and tell them the nickname you used while leaning against the counter.
She checks her screen to look up your details. โFound it, youโre booked for the Signature package at two oโclock afternoon with Art Donaldson,โ she says before pausing to check your reaction. โJust, so youโre aware, Art is a male technician, but heโs fully certified. I can see if anyone else is free if that makes you uncomfortable,โ she adds while watching your face. You take a quick breath because you just want to get this over with. โNo, thatโs totally fine,โ you say to reassure her before you smile at her. She doesnโt question you further, so she leads you down a pink hallway toward the treatment rooms.
She stops outside the third door and turns the handle to let you inside. โYou can take everything off from the waist down and wrap yourself in that robe on the rack,โ she explains while pointing toward the clean bed. โHeโll knock before coming in, so just take your time getting ready,โ she mentions, then steps back into the hall. โThanks, I appreciate it,โ you say when she closes the door behind her. The private room is just as pink as the lobby, with a comfortable bed and a small shelf on the wall. You undress slowly, and youโre trying to stop your mind from racing. You fold your clothes into the little basket and tie the robe loosely around your waist.
You sit on the edge of the mattress with your naked legs touching the sheets, and you stare down at your knees in the quiet room while you wait for him. Itโs funny how youโre about to let a strange man touch you there, but you tell yourself itโs just a normal aesthetic treatment. A knock on the door interrupts your thoughts. โCome in,โ you call out while wrapping the robe tighter around yourself. The door opens, and Art walks in like itโs a normal day. You sit on the edge of the table with your knees pressed together while youโre trying not to look like someone who booked a male technician at one in the morning.
He looks tall in his beige uniform and shuts the door behind him before he looks right at you. He carries a small tray of clean towels, with a new razor resting alongside the other things needed for this session. โAre we doing the Signature package today?โ he asks, and he steps further into the room to walk over the table. โYes, thatโs the one,โ you reply and nod your head to confirm the appointment. โIโm Art, Iโll be taking care of your service today,โ he says before he sets the tray down on the rolling cart right next to the table. Art gives you a polite nod, and you feel a sudden relief when he gestures toward the bed.
โGo ahead and lie back. Iโll get the towels ready,โ he instructs before he turns around to prep his station. You hesitate for a second, but he doesnโt move closer. Art puts on his gloves and then turns to grab the clean towels from the tray. You grip the sides of the table while you slowly lie down onto the sheet, and the robe slides down your thighs when your legs part slightly. Your breath hitches when Art places the first towel right at your navel and puts the second one over your upper legs to leave the center open. Cool air brushes the exposed area before his gloved hands press against your hips to adjust the fabric.
He applies pressure to tuck the edges under your thighs. โIโll start with a warm compress. Let me know if anything feels uncomfortable,โ he explains before he walks over to the warmer on the counter to unfold a hot towel. You nod when he steps back to the table to start, and youโre not used to the feeling when Art wipes the warm towel over your mound. He presses a little firmer each time, but the fabric doesnโt feel rough against your thighs. He places the towel down after a moment and grabs the cream from his tray. His gloved fingers trace downward to the outside of your lips, and his palm presses against your pelvis to force an unexpected noise out of your mouth.
โNnh- fuck. S-sorry,โ you murmur when you realize you made a sound out loud and brace your body against the mattress. Heat blooms across your cheeks as you stare at the ceiling. You feel embarrassed about a noise you didnโt mean to make, and you hope he didnโt hear it, but you glance down and catch his jaw tightening. โI didnโt mean to-โ you start to say before you cut yourself off because you feel too exposed. โHey, you donโt have to apologize,โ he says after he pauses his work, but his reassurance only makes the heat spread further. Art talks to you as if you did something brave just by lying there under his hand, and prepares the rest of his supplies.
His fingers spread the cream along your folds. He acts as if he deals with nervous clients all the time, so your reaction doesnโt surprise him. โSeriously,โ he murmurs and keeps his attention on you as he leans closer. โYouโre okay,โ he says and moves his hand back up to rest right on your mound. You want to thank him for not making a big deal out of it, but you just stare at the ceiling. You feel ridiculous for making the situation weird, but Art simply ignores it. You twitch when his hand glides forward again, and your fingers squeeze the sides of the table. The cream shocks you with cold when his glove wipes across your cunt.
Art rubs the cream evenly across your labia and keeps his gaze down, without a word, to let you adjust to the temperature. Another sound slips from your mouth as he smooths the cream higher up your pelvis. โNh- mhm,โ you mumble and try to keep your legs open despite the urge to close them. He glances at you briefly and then looks back down to focus on his task. โItโs okay,โ he says when he rests his hand right against your thigh to support you. โYou donโt have to be nervous,โ he whispers. Art picks up the razor from the tray and treats you gently as he holds the tool with one hand while his other hand flattens the surface.
Your neck burns when you look down to where his gloved hand rests right next to your clit, but he keeps things strictly professional. โYouโre doing fine,โ he tells you and lines the blade up against your mound. You want to say something funny, but you just stare at the ceiling again. โMhm- nghh,โ you whine from the back of your throat when the razor starts moving along the top of your cunt to shave the hair. He shaves the area clean. Heat burns your face, and you pray Art doesnโt notice how wet you get under his touch. His gloved left hand rests on your thigh while his right hand holds the razor.
The top of your mound is bare now, so he looks at the hair right next to your slit. The towel rests across your hips, and you realize leaving the technician preference blank on the website for the Signature package was a mistake, especially after you declined the receptionistโs offer to give you a female technician earlier today. โCan I move the towel down a bit?โ he asks and points his left hand toward your hips. โI need to reach the rest of the hair,โ he adds and waits for your answer. You sigh when you remember the whimper you let out earlier, since you already let him see more than you planned today.
โNngh- okay,โ you whisper back and squeeze your eyes shut. Art keeps the razor in his right hand, and his left hand grabs the edge of the towel. He pulls the fabric down an inch to expose your cunt and then moves his left hand to the inside of your knee to push your leg out. Your stomach drops when he looks at the wettest part of you without saying a word. โThank you,โ he murmurs and moves his left hand to dip his fingers into the cream container. You have no idea what he is thanking you for, but heat floods your face. He spreads the cream over the left side of your labia, and his fingertips glide right above your clit to coat the area.
You flinch when he touches that spot, yet he ignores your reaction. Art works the cream along the edge of your slit, and you squirm when his glove gets close to your opening to prepare the area. โIs this okay?โ he asks and looks up at your face to check your comfort. โMhm- y-yes,โ you answer and try to catch your breath. He places his left hand back against your thigh to pin you in place and then brings the razor in his right hand down to your labia to shave the left side. The razor glides over the cream on your pussy to shave the hair, and he reaches over to wipe the blade on a towel every few seconds.
It doesnโt hurt since the cream protects you, but your clit pulses from the continuous touch. He works in silence as you lie on the table and soon gets right next to your slit to shave. You know he has to look, and the realization makes your face burn. Your hands grab the towel underneath you, and you try to close your legs. He notices your reaction and pauses what heโs doing with the razor. โYouโre doing good,โ he says as he looks up at your face to offer reassurance. โAlmost done with this side, so let me know if you need to stop,โ he adds and pulls a small stool over, so he can finally sit down.
You force out a nod instead since you cannot find your words. Art leans back in to prep the right side next and grabs a towel with his left hand to wipe the cream from the shaved side on the left. He wipes close without touching your opening, but you feel too worked up under his focus. โThank you,โ he murmurs when he sets the towel aside. You have no idea what he keeps thanking you for, but heat blooms across your cheeks again. His left thumb pauses right above your clit, where the cream sits on your flesh. โI can get this part now,โ he says. His eyes flick down, then meet yours to gauge your reaction.
โCan I put my thumb here to spread the cream?โ he asks while his thumb waits right above your clit. You stare at the ceiling and feel like you can hardly breathe. โO-okay,โ you whisper back and force your knees wider to give him access. He rubs his left thumb in circles to spread the cream over your clit, and you close your eyes when the attention becomes too much. He pushes his thumb against the sensitive spot until a sound slips out to break the quiet of the room. โNnh- mmph,โ you gasp, and your legs squirm against the table.
You grab the sheet beneath your hips because your cunt reacts to his hand. Art stops moving his thumb after he hears the noise. โItโs okay,โ he murmurs as he looks up at your face to catch your eye. โYou donโt have to hide it,โ he adds. He keeps his left hand resting against your thigh to hold you in place and then uses the razor in his right hand to work on the right side of your pussy. He slides the blade down to shave the hair and reaches for a towel to clean the razor after every stroke. It doesnโt hurt despite the blade, but a shudder ripples through you anyway when he shaves all the way down the edge of your labia.
He sets the razor down on his tray, then grabs a clean towel to wipe the cream off your thighs. He drops the towel into the basket and then stands up to pull his gloves off. โThe right side is done,โ he says and looks at your face to check your status. โDo you want some water before we finish?โ he asks and walks over to the counter to gather his supplies. You nod because your throat feels dry from the tension. โYeah- thank you,โ you whisper back. You prop yourself up on your elbows to drink, and he fills a cup with water before bringing it over.
You swallow the water and slightly dent the paper cup under his gaze when he watches you finish the drink. โThis is more intense than a wax,โ you admit. You hand the cup back to him, and he throws it into the trash before a smirk crosses his face. โReally?โ he asks and pulls new gloves out of the box to snap them onto his hands. โYeah,โ you mutter. Warmth spreads across your face when you confess that you think itโs just having a guy do it, and you lie back down against the table. Art snaps the new gloves on and then steps back to his place by your legs to resume.
โWell,โ he says and picks the razor up from his tray to finish the task. โIโll try to make the rest of it easy for you,โ he adds and looks down at your cunt. He rests his left hand on your inner thigh, and then he brings the blade down to shave the rest. You twitch when he gets close to your opening because the sensation spikes again. โAre you good to keep going?โ he asks after he checks your face to make sure you can handle it. โMhm- yes,โ you answer to let him complete the job without delay. He dips his fingers back into the cream and then leans closer to apply it to the bottom of your slit.
You watch his thumb slide the cream under your opening, and the razor waits in his right hand. The room feels quiet when he focuses on your cunt, so you force yourself to speak. โHey- isnโt it weird?โ you ask to, sound casual. Your legs twitch on the table when you try to distract yourself. โLike- do you ever get bothered touching pussies all day without getting tired of it?โ you add to force a conversation through the silence. Art keeps his attention on his work, but a smirk shows on his face when he hears your question. โItโs just part of the job,โ he replies as he lines the razor up against the cream at the base of your opening to continue shaving.
โYou just have to be professional,โ he explains and scrapes the blade down your labia. You let out a laugh and feel stupid for asking. โI just thought youโd be grossed out by it,โ you mutter and bite the inside of your cheek in regret. He brings the razor down to shave the hair, but then he stops to look up and hold your gaze. โItโs just part of the body,โ he points out, and then his eyes drop back down to your cunt to resume his task. โBut some clients are more interesting than others,โ he adds and drags the blade over the cream. You stare at him because you donโt know what to do with that comment.
โWhat do you mean by that?โ you ask and swallow hard. Art wipes the razor on a towel next to him and then places his left thumb right above your clit. โSome bodies are just easier to read,โ he murmurs as he looks into your eyes to hold your attention. โThey tell me everything,โ he finishes, and his thumb rubs over the top of your mound to emphasize his point. Your stomach drops because you know exactly what he means by that statement. โNnh- thatโs messed up,โ you whine when his thumb pushes against you.
He ignores your comment and breathes out through his nose before he goes back to shaving the bottom. You feel exposed under his hands. Art works the blade in strokes to shave the end of your slit and finally sets the razor down on his tray to reach for a towel. He uses the towel to wipe the cream away. You try to catch your breath when his hand moves around the outside of your labia to clean up the mess. The towel feels warm when he cleans the area, and you force yourself not to move. He works for a moment before his hand suddenly stops.
He tilts his head and looks down at the bottom of your opening. He stares at the spot where the wetness from your cunt mixes with the cream. Art clears his throat and then looks up from the wetness between your legs to check your expression. โHey,โ he says and keeps his hands away from you to give you space. โThereโs some cream that slipped down,โ he observes. Your stomach drops because you know exactly why it slipped down. โI can wipe it up, but I need to get deeper if youโre okay with that,โ he adds and waits for your answer.
He asks like itโs a normal question, and even though you lie on the table with your legs open for him. You swallow and then nod your head to confirm. โMhm- yeah,โ you whisper back to let him do it despite your embarrassment. He breathes out through his nose and then leans closer to your cunt. His left hand rests against your thigh, and his right hand brings the towel down to your opening. He wipes the cream from the bottom of your slit to clean the area, but your body reacts without your permission to the sudden friction.
Your toes curl against the table, and your thigh flinches to touch his hand to try and seek the warmth. โNnh- s-sorry,โ you gasp and squeeze your eyes shut. You feel like an idiot for twitching over a towel, but Art doesnโt move his hand away. โYouโre fine,โ he murmurs and waits for you to relax your legs against the table. โIt happens more than you think,โ he tells you and watches your face to make sure you are calm. Your legs are worked up, and you stare at the ceiling to cope with the intense embarrassment. โIs it clean now?โ you ask. Your voice shakes, and he looks down at your pussy to check the spot.
โAlmost,โ he answers. His eyes flick back up to meet yours to deliver the news. โSome got inside,โ he explains. His left hand rests right on your thigh, and you try not to think about how wet you are right now. โOh- um,โ you mumble and try to close your legs to hide yourself. โI can just clean it if you want,โ you offer to save yourself the humiliation of him doing it. Art pushes his fingers against your thigh to stop you from closing your knees, but he doesnโt react to your panic. โItโs alright,โ he says and keeps his voice steady to reassure you. โThis is my job,โ he reminds you, and then goes back to wiping the opening with focus.
The towel drags over the wetness when he wipes right next to your slit, and you squirm backward on the table to get away from the overwhelming feeling. โI think you got it all,โ you say. You want him to stop touching you there, and you try to shift away. โYou can just put the balm on now,โ you add and grab the sheet under your waist to pull it down. He stops moving the towel and looks up at you to challenge your sudden movement. โAre you sure?โ he asks and checks your expression to see if you are lying.
โCream can get stuck in the folds, so I want to make sure it doesnโt bother you later,โ he explains, and his right hand waits right above your slit to finish the job. You know the wetness between your legs has nothing to do with the cream, but your body aches for him to finish. โHaaah- yeah,โ you whine and force your knees apart to give in to his logic. โIโm sure,โ you tell him so that he will move on to the next step. Art gives you a nod and then drops the towel into the basket to clear his hands. โOkay,โ he murmurs and turns back to his tray to prepare the balm.
Art grabs the jar of balm and unscrews the cap before he dips two fingers inside. You take a breath when he rubs the cold balm over your freshly shaved labia. Your thighs twitch against the table, but he ignores them and keeps working. He smooths the product from one side to the other. He avoids your opening at first, but you get wetter the more he touches your folds. The wetness makes his fingers move easily, and your hips tilt upward on their own. You grip the towel tighter when his fingers go lower and swipe right over your wet cunt. He brings his hand back up and slides two fingers between your folds to drag them straight down from your clit to your entrance.
Your breath hitches after your hips flinch at the contact. You stare at the ceiling with a burning face, but he just spreads those same two fingers against your labia to part your lips. He looks down at your pussy so that he can see everything. Your cunt twitches under his fingertips, and slick spills out over his glove because you are so turned on. He exhales through his nose before his thumb moves right against your clit to show he feels your reaction. โIs the balm feeling okay?โ he asks when his fingers drag through your wetness again. You swallow hard because you feel too worked up, and his hand is right between your legs.
โNngh- yeah, itโs good,โ you answer while your hands grip the sheet underneath your waist. โJust try to relax for me,โ he instructs and leaves his fingers resting right at the bottom of your slit. You need a distraction from the intense feeling, so you force your brain to come up with a topic. โMmh- do you actually like doing this more than waxing?โ you ask to force a conversation. His fingers pause at the bottom of your slit before he moves his hand to rub the balm along the outside of your labia. โI prefer it,โ he answers and keeps his attention entirely focused on your cunt. You canโt believe you started this conversation when your legs are wide open for him.
โHaaah- I mean, you probably see a hundred of these a week, right?โ you ask to cover up your embarrassment. โMore than that on a busy week,โ he replies before his thumb rubs right next to your pulsing clit. Art dips his fingers into the jar again to gather more balm before he brings his fingers back down to your cunt. You tilt your head against the towel and try to focus. โDo they all look identical to you, or do you ever get bored?โ you ask softly, then watch his face for a reaction. The corner of his mouth twitches, but his expression doesnโt change.
โNot really,โ he answers after his fingers slide down to spread the balm across your labia again. You squirm against the sheet because his touch feels too much. โSo mine is not boring, right? Is it cute?โ you whisper and look away from his face out of pure embarrassment. Art huffs out a breath and keeps spreading the product without answering your question. You are already too deep into the conversation to stop your rambling thoughts. โIf you had to rate it from one to ten, what would you give it?โ you ask while your hips move slightly under his fingers. He doesnโt say anything, so you keep talking to cover up your mortification.
โI wonโt get mad, but Iโll definitely cry if you say a five,โ you promise quickly when you watch his jaw tighten. His gloved fingers make a soft, sticky sound when they rub your folds. โDo you guys rate everyone in your heads? Like, do you remember the perfect ones later?โ you ramble blindly because you canโt control your mouth anymore. โAlright,โ he interrupts firmly and stops his fingers right above your slit. โI need you to stop moving,โ he instructs before looking directly into your eyes. You blink up at him. โIโm not moving,โ you mutter back to defend yourself.
Art doesnโt argue with your claim, but he moves his fingers directly onto your clit to prove his point. His thumb firmly circles the sensitive spot to make you react. โNngh- ahh!โ you gasp after your hips jerk upward against his glove. A smirk shows on his face when he sees you squirming against his touch. โWhat are you doing?โ you ask breathily and try to keep your legs open. โIโm just applying the balm,โ he replies casually, then continues to rub your clit to show you exactly how squirmy you are. Your body reacts completely to his thumb and more slick leaks out over his glove.
โFuck- nn- please donโt do that,โ you whine while you grip the sheet tightly to keep from moving. He ignores your plea and rubs the spot even faster to keep you completely helpless under his control. โItโs part of the job,โ he explains smoothly and watches your mouth part from the pleasure. Art continues to rub your clit while he slides his middle finger between your wet folds to drag it right down to your opening. The sensation feels incredibly good, but it only makes you realize how empty your pussy is right now. Your body reacts on instinct, and your hips tilt upward.
You try to grind your cunt directly against his fingers instead of pulling away from the touch. He stops his thumb right on your clit, then looks down at your squirming hips. โWhatโs the matter?โ he asks quietly as he waits for your answer. You feel too embarrassed to say the actual words out loud, but your legs fall wider apart on their own to expose yourself even more. โMmmff- nn,โ you whine and stare up at the ceiling. Art moves his lower finger up and down through your slick as a replacement for his thumb. He watches your mouth part from the sensation. โDo you want me inside you?โ he asks smoothly to force you to admit it.
You want to act like you hate this unprofessional behavior, but his glove feels entirely too good against your wet cunt. You try to say no, but you canโt think straight anymore. โNngh- p-please,โ you beg accidentally instead of pushing him away. Art hears you say that and stops moving his fingers. โPlease, what?โ he demands as he leaves his finger resting right at your hole. You are completely overwhelmed by how wet you are, so you just drop the act and look right at him. Art doesnโt say a word, but he grips your thighs to drag your body down until your hips rest on the very edge of the table.
Your legs dangle off the end while you prop yourself up using your elbows to watch him. You look right at him and watch him peel the gloves off his hands before he directs his attention back to your exposed body. He rubs his fingers over your cunt, and the touch makes your mouth part. โMmmf- ahh,โ you gasp when he slides one finger straight inside your cunt to test if youโll actually try to stop him. You donโt push him away because having his finger inside feels too good, but you suddenly remember your appointment is almost over.
โW-what if our hour is almost up?โ you ask breathily while you stare at his calm face. Art thrusts his finger a little deeper inside you. โThen weโll just make this quick,โ he answers and grunts when your walls tighten around him. You look toward the door and wonder if the walls are thick enough to hide your noises. โIs this room soundproof?โ you whisper because youโre terrified that someone outside will hear you. A smirk shows on his face when he hears your question. โDonโt worry about that,โ he replies, then slides a second finger inside your tight cunt.
Art starts moving his two fingers in and out of your tight cunt. Your toes curl off the edge of the table when you feel him touch a sensitive spot inside you. You drop your head back against your shoulders as your eyes roll from how good it feels. โAhhn- fuck,โ you moan loudly and grip the edge of the table. You wonder how you are ever going to look him in the eye after this appointment ends. His fingers donโt stop moving inside you while he places his other hand on your waist to hold you in place. He angles his hand upward to rub against your walls.
โNngh- r-right there- ahh,โ you stutter breathily as your hips buck toward him. Art grunts in response before he pushes his fingers even deeper into your dripping cunt. You canโt believe he is actually doing this to you in the middle of a session. He watches his fingers slide in and out of your cunt. โI havenโt ever done anything like this before,โ he says calmly and keeps his eyes focused right between your legs. You look down at him, then part your lips to catch your breath. โMmmf- you havenโt?โ you ask because you assumed he did this with other clients, too.
โNo,โ he answers simply before he spreads his fingers slightly inside you to make you squirm. Art starts moving his two fingers in and out of your tight cunt. Your toes curl off the edge of the table when you feel him touch a sensitive spot inside you. You drop your head back against your shoulders as your eyes roll from how good it feels. โAhhn- fuck,โ you moan loudly and grip the edge of the table. You wonder how you are ever going to look him in the eye after this appointment ends. His fingers donโt stop moving inside you while he places his other hand on your waist to hold you in place.
He angles his hand upward to rub against your walls. โNngh- r-right there- ahh,โ you stutter breathily as your hips buck toward him. Art grunts in response before he pushes his fingers even deeper into your dripping cunt. You canโt believe he is actually doing this to you in the middle of a session. He watches his fingers slide in and out of your cunt. โI havenโt ever done anything like this before,โ he says calmly and keeps his eyes focused right between your legs. You look down at him, then part your lips to catch your breath.
โMmmf- you havenโt?โ you ask because you assumed he did this with other clients, too. โ โNo,โ he answers simply before he spreads his fingers slightly inside you to make you squirm.โ He pulls them almost completely out, then pushes them back inside you until itโs knuckle deep with each thrust. You look down to see his fingers sliding in and out of your wet cunt. Watching him do this right in front of you makes you clench tightly around him. You squeeze around his fingers so much that he stops moving entirely. โYou need to let me move them,โ Art tells you calmly as he looks up to meet your eyes.
You just shake your head because you have no control over how tight your cunt gets. โNngh- I c-canโt help it,โ you whine breathily since your body reacts entirely on its own. He hums quietly in response while he waits with his fingers buried deep inside you. Your walls eventually loosen up on their own. Art starts thrusting back into your cunt once itโs okay for him to move again. โAhhhnn- mmmf,โ you gasp loudly when he hits that sensitive spot inside you. You spread your legs a little wider, so he has better access to you. Your clit throbs, and he can feel it every time his knuckles brush over it as he slides deep inside you.
You wonder how he knows exactly what to do to make you feel like this. โOh god- nngh- it f-feels, so good,โ you admit breathily while you stare down at his fingers. A cocky smirk shows on his lips after he hears your praise. โYeah?โ he asks simply before he slows down on purpose. He drags his fingers out of your cunt as slowly as possible just to tease you. You want him to move faster, but you donโt know how to ask without sounding completely desperate. โHaaah- p-please- mmf,โ you whine quietly and bat your eyelashes at him. You bite down on your lower lip because you hate how slow he moves.
His other hand rests on your waist while he watches you beg him. โTell me,โ he demands right before he fucks you slowly. โPlease- m-move faster,โ you plead after you look right into his eyes. Art finally speeds up his fingers inside you, just like you asked him to. You can hear the loud wet sounds after every single thrust he makes. His hand holds you in place on the table so that he can fuck your cunt at a much faster pace. โYou arenโt going to report me for this... right?โ he asks manipulatively when he pumps his two fingers in and out of you.
You nod your head desperately since you donโt want him to stop what he is doing. โNnngh- n-no- no- no,โ you stutter breathily, and your hips buck up against his hand. He pushes even deeper into you, so you grab the edge of the table tighter. โPromise me,โ he demands right before he angles his fingers up. You look right into his eyes, so he knows you mean it. โAhhhnn- I s-swear- mmf,โ you gasp loudly as the new angle hits that sensitive spot inside you. You look down between your legs to watch his hand working. You can see exactly how wet you are when slick covers his fingers after every thrust.
Art watches your face and pumps his fingers in and out of your dripping cunt. โYou just officially became my favorite client,โ he tells you casually while he moves his hand. You wonder if he says things like this to everyone. โHaaah- s-shut up- ahhn,โ you whine breathily once the feeling builds up. He chuckles quietly before he pushes his fingers all the way down to his knuckles. โYou asked me to rate it earlier,โ he states simply as he watches you squirm on the table. You gasp out loud after he rubs against that spot inside you again.
โMmmf- w-what about it- nghh,โ you stutter out, and your toes curl. โI canโt even give it a number because itโs completely perfect,โ he answers confidently. His other hand moves off your waist so that he can reach right between your legs. He finds your throbbing clit right away and starts rubbing it with his thumb. You buck your hips toward him the second he touches your clit while his fingers keep moving inside you. โOh god- ah- f-fuck- mmph!โ you gasp loudly once the sensation hits you. You tilt your head back as his thumb circles your clit and his fingers slide in and out of your wet hole.
Your legs start shaking after his fingers move faster inside your wet cunt. You bite down hard on your lower lip, but you canโt stop your body from trembling. Art notices the way you shake before he smiles down at you. โAre you close already?โ he asks knowingly while he watches your face. You nod your head when you realize you need to come. โHngh- yes- please- mmf,โ you gasp out and stare right into his eyes. He drags his fingers in and out much slower to tease you. He stops rubbing your clit and starts tapping it with his thumb instead.
His thumb just tapping your clit makes you squirm on the table when you actually want him to rub you. โMmmph- Art- hahh- faster,โ you plead after you try to force your hips against his hand. He leans closer to your face before he moves his fingers faster inside you. You let out a breath when he speeds up, but he slows his hand down the exact moment you start to enjoy it. His thumb pushes harder against your throbbing clit. You grind your hips up against his hand so that you can take him deeper. โNnn- Art- donโt stop- ahh,โ you whine loudly and arch your back.
He watches your face with a smug look after you buck your hips again. โIโve never seen anyone this desperate to cum,โ he murmurs mockingly while he keeps his thumb right on your clit. You pout at him even though your body shakes on the table. โTh-thatโs because nobodyโs ever tried to tease me this much- hngh,โ you snap breathily and try to take his fingers all the way in. You think he does this completely on purpose just to see you beg. He chuckles at your tone before he tilts his head. โSo youโre used to having everything given to you?โ he asks knowingly right before he starts fucking your cunt fast again. The deep thrusts make you grab the table tighter.
โY-yes- ahhn- oh god!โ you cry out when his knuckles rub against your clit. He pumps his two fingers in and out of you as hard as he can. โYouโre so spoiled,โ he grunts softly and watches you squirm. โMmmph- hah- f-fuck- nnngh,โ you whine loudly while you squeeze your eyes shut.
Your cunt tightens around his fingers when you start to cum. You squeeze your thighs together, but he doesnโt stop thrusting inside you at all. He keeps pumping in and out while your elbows prop you up on the table. โOh god- Iโm- ahhh- f-fuck- mm,โ you cry out loudly and arch your back from the feeling.
Art watches your face before he looks down to see you coat his fingers completely. The squelching sounds get louder in the room with every single thrust he makes, as you get so much wetter. You think youโve never been this wet for anyone before this moment. โHngh- Art- mmmph- hah,โ you stutter out breathily while you look down at his hand. He chuckles at how much you came before he finally slows his hand down. He drags his fingers a little slower, but he keeps sliding all the way inside your dripping cunt.
โYou take my fingers, so fucking well,โ he praises you bluntly and continues to fuck you. You feel completely embarrassed by his words, but your hips still twitch up to meet his hand. โNnn- y-you- haaah,โ you whine quietly while your legs dangle off the table. He slides his wet fingers out of your dripping cunt and holds them right in front of your mouth. You see your own wetness coating his skin when you try to catch your breath. โClean it up,โ he orders gruffly while he taps his fingertips against your bottom lip. You know you should refuse, but you open your mouth anyway to slide his fingers past your lips.
He watches you suck his fingers clean as your tongue licks them off. โMnn- hahh- f-fuck,โ you mumble around his knuckles before he takes them back out. Art immediately drops down between your legs right after you finish cleaning his hand. He kneels on the floor and spreads your thighs wider, so he can get a better view. You feel the cool air on your wet cunt before his warm tongue laps straight up your slit. He licks your pussy clean as he catches every drop of your juice. โNngh- Art- wait- mmf,โ you gasp out loudly when his tongue touches your clit.
He acts like he wants to clean you up, but he starts sucking on your clit instead. You sit up and grip his hair to pull him away. He ignores you while he continues to suck on your throbbing clit. He clearly has another plan to make you cum again as his tongue laps faster. You try to push his shoulders off you, but he only grunts against your thighs. โHaaah- stop- nnngh- itโs too much,โ you plead breathily while your hips grind against his mouth anyway. Art looks up at your face after he finishes cleaning your pussy and stands up to grab a clean towel from his cart.
He steps right back between your legs while you sit on the edge of the table. โKeep them open,โ he orders bluntly before he wipes the towel over your cunt. He dries off your inner thighs carefully to make sure youโre completely clean. You watch him clean you up as your skin feels incredibly sensitive. โCan you pass me my stuff?โ you ask quietly and point to the chair in the corner. Your folded clothes are stacked there with your lace panties peeking out from under your jeans. He pauses what he was doing before he looks over at the chair.
He turns his head back to look at your thighs and walks over to the chair to pick up your pink lace panties first. You slide off the edge of the table, so you can stand up on the floor before you untie the robe around your waist and let it fall from your shoulders. You toss the fabric onto the table so you can finally get dressed. You feel way too exposed now. โI donโt even know why I wore those today,โ you mumble quickly to fill the silence while you avoid looking at him. You want to hide your face when he looks at the tiny piece of fabric. โI just grabbed whatever,โ you add nervously because you instantly regret saying that out loud.
Art holds the underwear out to you with a raised eyebrow. โYou sure about that?โ he asks before a smirk forms on his lips. You snatch your panties from him while your face gets hot. โI swear Iโm not usually this weird,โ you snap breathily and slide the panties up your legs. He picks up your jeans next and holds them out to you calmly. You quickly grab the denim and step into the legs, then tug them up to your waist. He turns around to toss the dirty towel onto his cart. โLace,โ he says casually while he wipes down his tray.
โPeople pick things without thinking sometimes,โ he points out mockingly. โOkay, yeah, that was a lot,โ you admit nervously while you zip your pants up. He focuses on arranging his tools, and you finish buttoning your jeans. โNot in a bad way, obviously,โ you ramble awkwardly when he doesnโt respond right away. โSo do I get a sticker or something for being good?โ you ask playfully and wait for his reaction. Art finally looks over his shoulder with a small smirk. โIโll check if we have a star one in the back,โ he replies teasingly.
You clear your throat again and rub your palms down your jeans. โYeah, I should probably get out of here,โ you mutter awkwardly while you try to fight off the embarrassment now that the adrenaline is gone. โIโm going to go pay at the front desk and pretend I wasnโt just spread open for you five minutes ago,โ you joke nervously to fill the room just before Art drops another tool into his tray with a loud click. You look over at him while he faces his cart. He turns his head just enough so you catch the corner of his mouth twitching.
He acts like he didnโt just make you cum your brains out on that table a few minutes ago. โYouโre smiling,โ you point out playfully when you see his expression change. โAm I?โ he asks without looking back at you as he continues to arrange his tools. โYou totally are,โ you insist, and grab your phone off the chair to give your hands something to do. โNo proof,โ he replies bluntly and tosses a rag onto his cart. You bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from grinning. You walk toward the door to finally leave this room. โI think Iโm booking a woman next time I need this done,โ you announce confidently when you reach the doorway and turn back to face him.
That gets him to look over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow. โNot that you werenโt great,โ you ramble quickly and raise your hands up defensively. โYou just act like nothing even happened, and itโs a little intimidating,โ you admit honestly while you watch him stand there completely unfazed. He turns around to face you completely now. โIntimidating,โ he repeats like a question while he crosses his arms over his chest. โYeah,โ you breathe out quickly as your face gets hot all over again. โAnyway, I hope you forget all about me by dinner,โ you say awkwardly and reach for the door handle, so you can finally escape.
You hope the door doesnโt squeak when you open it. โNot planning on it,โ Art says smoothly right before you turn the knob. You freeze in place and look back at him. Your heart skips a beat when he says that. He stands by his cart with his head tilted. You wonder if you heard him right, but he looks straight at you with a smirk. โDinner,โ he clarifies casually while he maintains eye contact. โYou said to forget by dinner, but Iโm not planning on it,โ he tells you directly, so there is no misunderstanding. Your mouth opens, but you canโt think of a single thing to say back to him. You just huff out a breath and push the door open with your shoulder.
โYeah, well, that makes two of us,โ you mumble quietly before you step into the hallway. โAnd donโt bother booking anyone else next time,โ Art adds firmly right before you can leave completely. You pause with the door held open. โWhy not?โ you ask quietly while you wait for his reason. โBecause Iโm the only one taking care of that from now on,โ he states bluntly as his gaze drops right to the zipper of your jeans before he looks you straight in the eye again. You just stare at him for a second without knowing how to respond. You let go of the door and walk away before you say something stupid. You realize youโre grinning all the way to the front desk.
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main blog got nerfed for no reason i'm sooo upset my angels :(( so many memories and so much of my time and effort just gone its so unmotivating and just depressing.
hopefully this is a temporary blog though and i can get all my fics and drafts back !! i've sent an appeal email but i have no idea what else to do, if you have access to any of my writing or posts through reblogs or whatever I would love it back ! and also just any advice in general please ๐๐
v v out of the blue but i just binge read all of your fics (i have yet to go back and like them all but TRUST it will be done) and you truly have a way with words
10/10 it feels illegal to be reading these for free
OMFGGDJSJSS HELPPP. The dedication considering itโs long fics!!! THANK YOU BB for the kind compliment. Whatโs your favorite so far?
I reached the point where I have already written many fics for art donaldson, and now I am writing about him shaving the readerโs bush. Like who cares, itโs actually funny#
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
โ Live Streamingโ Interactive Chatโ Private Showsโ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
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omfgโฆ i have so many fics from drafts i havenโt published yet HDJSJSJAJA i might post them and rewrite them (bcs i have different writing style now compared the last time i wrote them)
You barely remember whose idea it was. You donโt even have time to protest. It just happened, because thatโs what normal things are between you and him. It, like all things with Art, does. A birthday slash graduation trip that turned into a weekend at the beach. No plans, no budget, just a spontaneous one. So fucking reckless and irresponsible. YOLO, what he always says to you when he asks you to do something spontaneous with him. Trip. Movies. Resto. Everything. That was enough. That was always enough when it came to him. You said yes before he even finished the sentence. You always do. Donโt need to ask twice. If he asks you to jump, youโll say how high. If he calls for an emergency, youโll come, even if his emergency is just picking which clothes he will wear for the match. And now youโre here, crammed into the back of his car, half-sober, half-numb, trying not to think about how this might be the last time you see him like this without consequence.
Art is driving. One hand on the wheel, the other slung lazily out the window, sun catching the bones in his wrist. The wind keeps blowing his curls into his eyes, but he doesnโt fix them. You want to reach out and do it for him, but you donโt. He has that curly blonde hair you always want to run your fingers through. But well, youโve done enough of that, itโs nothing new the fixing things he doesnโt ask you to fix, offering pieces of yourself he never asked to keep. He glances in the rearview mirror once. Not at you. At her. Tashi. Sheโs sitting in the passenger seat like sheโs always belonged there, and maybe she has. Maybe thatโs the part that hurts most.
Patrickโs next to you, headphones on, mouthing along to some sad gay song like heโs in a different movie entirely. Like heโs annoying the fuck out of you about this situation. Youโre grateful for him, really, for his silence, for the way he doesnโt ask you whatโs wrong. He already knows. Heโs the one who knows you and Art too closely. You tell him things, but he doesnโt rat you out to Art. Sometimes you think everyone knows it already. Like itโs not a secret anymore, well except for Art. Itโs just a punchline. Seven years in love with your best friend, and he still introduces you as his โbroโ when heโs drunk. You laugh too hard at his jokes. You always have. Itโs easier than saying youโre scared heโll leave and forget you entirely.
By the time you arrive, the sunโs too bright and the sandโs too hot and you already feel like youโre a mess. The air smells like salt and cheap alcohol. Artโs shirt is off before the car even finishes parking. He runs straight toward the water, laughing, yelling something you canโt hear. Tashi follows. You sit on the hood and watch them, beside Patrick whoโs ready to tease you already. To give you a reality check. You donโt take a photo. The view is so beautiful, too bad youโre not in the mood. You donโt move. You feel like the only person on earth who knows theyโre living inside a memory. Patrick opens a beer beside you and offers one without a word. You take it. Drink half in one go. It doesnโt help. You ask him something stupid like, โDo you think weโll remember this?โ and he says, โOnly if it hurts enough.โ And god, you think maybe thatโs the truest thing youโve ever heard.
Later, when the sky turns heavy and violet, someone suggests karaoke like itโs a joke. Like they donโt know the kind of night theyโre summoning. But Art lights up, yeah, of course he does, and youโre already nodding before you think better of it. Because you know he will ask. Thatโs how it always is. One look from him and you forget your boundaries. You forgot to take. You forgot what you really are to him. You forget you ever wanted to have any. And the place is a patchwork of bad lighting and worn leather booths, and the mic smells like every feeling thatโs ever touched it. Art picks something old and loud, something to shout with his whole body, and Patrick howls through every line like heโs exorcising something. Youโre on your second beer. Your third. You lose count by the time youโre singing with Art, shoulder to shoulder, yelling lyrics you donโt know into the same mic. He looks at you like a memory. You look at him like a prayer.
Then he says, โI love you,โ in the middle of the chorus, smiling at you, but itโs followed by โbro,โ and thatโs the part that lodges in your throat. You donโt even like that- that fucking term. Itโs a punch in your face. That one fucking word. That one stupid syllable that flattens everything you thought maybe tonight could be. Everyone claps. You do too. You smile like itโs funny, like it doesnโt hurt. But you feel it. In the pit of your stomach. You feel it wants to be cut out and thrown in the ocean. In your jaw, clenched around the scream you wonโt let out. Like you want to scream at him if heโs blind.
Bottle after bottle, you find yourself sitting outside with a cigarette you donโt finish and a heart that wonโt shut up. Art plops down beside you, drunk and golden, knees bumping yours. โYou good?โ he asks, voice slurred just enough to make him seem soft. You nod. Of course you do. What would you even say? That youโre not sure you can keep doing this? That being his friend feels like bleeding in public and hoping no you can just hit him in the head to the point heโll have an amnesia and tell him youโre his girlfriend?
Yeah, no, that wonโt work, so you just sit beside him. Let him talk about nothing. About surfing tomorrow. About how Tashiโs good at it, apparently. Itโs not like you have anything against the woman, you donโt. You canโt just help to feel envious that will maybe, maybe make you say shitty things if you are just in front of Patrick. But you just nod again. You keep nodding. And when you finally speak, itโs just to say, โLetโs go back.โ Not because you want to. Because if you stay here one second longer, youโll say the wrong thing - or worse, the truth.
You love the place you guys picked. But right now it just feels different. The room feels like itโs breathing without you. The windows rattle slightly from the ocean wind outside, the curtains flutter like someone elseโs heartbeat. And Art is perched at the edge of the bed with his guitar in his lap, bare feet on the floor, hair damp from the shower. He looks golden in the lamplight. Familiar. Comfortable. Youโve spent years memorizing this version of him. The quiet one, the one that only shows up at 1 a.m. when no one else is looking. The version that looks so peaceful. The one who loves music besides tennis. The one who- who gets your heart. He plays something without a name, just a slow set of chords, barely holding shape. Maybe itโs something heโs composing. It should soothe you. Instead, it burns.
He doesnโt notice you watching him. Or maybe he does and doesnโt care. You always have the chance to look at him because... because he lets you. Or probably heโs just that oblivious. Youโre sitting on the floor with your back to the wall, knees pulled tight to your chest like that could keep it all in. The want, the ache, the exhaustion of waiting. The pining. He hums under his breath. You swallow around the lump in your throat.
โSeven years,โ you say suddenly. It startles even you. He pauses, one hand still on the frets. You donโt know why you bring it up but the following words youโll say will fuck you up, you just know that.
โWhat?โ he questions, your words made him stop playing his guitar and look up at you.
You let out a shaky breath. โIโve been in love with you for seven years.โ You quickly press your lips together. Feeling the environment. Feeling him how heโll react. Observing him. Overthinking many things.
It hangs there, heavy and soft, too real to take back. You watch his face. First confused, then careful. He blinks like heโs trying to remember something important. You keep going, because if you stop now, youโll never start again. You will never say shit again if you are sober.
โI donโt know when it started. Maybe when we were I donโt know... seventeen? Eighteen? And you asked if I wanted to walk home instead of calling a cab. Or when you shared your fries and said you didnโt want to eat alone. Or maybe it was every time you told me something that felt small to you, but I carried it around for days. I donโt know. I just know that Iโve loved you. Quietly. Constantly. For seven fucking years.โ
He doesnโt speak. He just stares with his mouth half-open, hands still resting on the guitar like he forgot they were there. You donโt look away. Not this time.
โI donโt want anything from you,โ you say. โI just didnโt want to leave without telling you. I wanted you to know that someone loved you that long. That hard. Even if you never noticed.โ
And thatโs when he kisses you.
He kisses you like heโs doing you a favor. Like itโs the polite thing to do. You feel it instantly. The shape of it, the temperature, the lack. His mouth on yours is nothing like you imagined. Itโs soft, yes, and itโs careful, but it isnโt full. It isnโt real. He doesnโt touch you like someone whoโs been waiting seven years to feel your mouth. Like... like someone who will think like fuck I want her too despite of the friendship. He touches you like someone trying to soften a blow. Like someone stalling. You donโt even close your eyes. You just wait for the part where it starts to matter and it never comes.
You pull away, slow and stunned, like your body already knew before your brain caught up. Your face is warm, but not from the kiss. Not from anything good. You feel numb. Like a robot or something. Heโs still looking at you like he doesnโt understand what just happened. Like you kissed him. Like this is something you started. You wait for something, anything. A breath. A question. A fucking name. Or maybe something like, Are you drunk? Or letโs do it better, maybe call you bro? But thereโs nothing. Just his face, blank and open, like maybe you should say thank you.
So you just pulled back before the kiss could become anything. Before you convince yourself to pretend it feels like love. His hand is still on your face when you say it, quiet, tired, done. โDonโt do that.โ Your voice doesnโt shake. Itโs steady in the way grief is steady. โDonโt kiss me just because you donโt know what else to do.โ You wait for his face to shift. To see his reaction. To read him like you always do. For guilt, for panic, for anything human. Maybe today is the day you wonโt be able to read what the situation is because he just looks at you like youโve made things difficult. Like youโve embarrassed him.
He just sits there, watching you like heโs hoping youโll backpedal. Like youโll laugh and say it was a joke. Like youโll make it easy again. But youโre drunk enough to do that anymore. You are too aware despite the drinks. Youโre not young anymore. Youโre not stupid. Youโre just tired. Tired of loving him the way heโs always let you quietly, invisibly, as long as you never asked for anything back.
And what gets you, what really fucking gets you is that he didnโt even say no. He didnโt reject you. He didnโt turn away, or flinch, or apologize. You keep thinking and thinking that all the things you say, heโll be just speechless. Stunned? But he can just kiss you? Kissed you like a Band-Aid. Like pity. Like he was trying to keep you from crying, not because he cared, but because it would be inconvenient if you did. He kissed you to shut you up, and you almost let him.
You nod. Not because you understand, but because youโve finally decided to stop waiting. You stand. You donโt slam the door. You donโt say anything else. Thereโs no last word. You donโt say anything after that. You donโt need to, anyway. Just you, leaving with your mouth still tasting like him, and your heart still convinced you shouldโve waited five more seconds, just in case. Just in case he wouldโve said it. Just... just maybe he came to his senses and said anything. Something.
You donโt cry in the hallway. Not yet. You donโt have the dignity for that. You just press your back to the wall, close your eyes, and try to remember what it felt like to still believe he could love you back. So stupid. So dumb for someone whoโs always receiving compliments about being smart. And when the tears come, they donโt come loud. They come like shame. Slow. Quiet. Familiar. You feel like you just stabbed yourself in the stomach way up to your chest. Thatโs how it feels. Seven years.
You think about what you said. I love you. Three words you spent seven years swallowing, and when they finally left your mouth, they didnโt sound brave. They sounded desperate. Like you said, itโs because you are too tired to feel it anymore. Desperate that he will love you back. It was easy to mean them in the moment, easier than you thought it would be. But now they sit in your mouth like something spoiled. Bitter. Embarrassing. You thought saying it would free you, like maybe the weight would lift once it was real. But it didnโt. It just made you feel stupid. Like you misunderstood the assignment. Like you ruined something that was never yours to begin with. You werenโt brave. You were just drunk. And stupid. And still in love with someone who looked you in the face and offered you silence.
summary: You ran from your past and ended up in Oceanside. Unfortunately, thatโs where you met Pope Cody.
pairings: andrew โpopeโ cody x afab!reader
warnings: 22.2k words. mature themes. dead dove: do not eat. murder. graphic violence. extreme gore. corpse desecration. dismemberment. body mutilation. body disposal. destruction of human remains. graphic injury detail. gun violence. stabbing. physical assault. drugging. poisoning. evidence cover-up. choking. rough sex. angry sex. hate sex. unprotected p in v. creampie. breeding kink. nipple play. breast play. clitoral stimulation. degradation. d/s dynamics. power imbalance. hair pulling. biting. hickeys. marking. blood play. family dysfunction. ptsd symptoms. stalking tendencies. toxic relationships. prison setting. read responsibly.
note: this fic made me take my time! also if i forgot any warnings that should be here, let me know. reblogs and comments are very much appreciated!
Life isnโt easy for you, and it never has been. Your emotions are completely all over the place because you either feel everything at once or nothing at all. People call you a crybaby when you let the tears fall, but they call you a bitch the second you shut down and stare right through them. Your family only gave you tough love, and they left you to figure out the hard stuff on your own. They put food on the table, but they never gave you real affection or any useful information, so you had to learn how to take care of yourself. Everything happened because you chose to step up in your own life since nobody else was going to do it for you. You learned how to save up the small allowance and the random pocket money they gave you because you knew theyโd never give you everything you needed.
You had to look out for yourself from the very start, while the people around you just watched and treated you like a total time bomb. You learned how to fix your own hair, and you figured out how to dress up without any help. You went through your very first period week entirely alone without anyone checking on you or explaining a single thing. You even had to learn about safe sex and how to avoid getting knocked up young by teaching yourself what to do because no one else cared enough to protect you. You owe everything to yourself because youโre the only person who ever kept you safe. Eventually, teenagers are bound to fall into the wrong crowd and connect with shady people who bring nothing but bad influences around.
You definitely had that phase when your brain wasnโt fully developed yet, and your impulsiveness made you think those bad decisions were totally fine. That lifestyle led you straight toward a terrible situation that left you with a lot of hidden trauma and made you absolutely hate the whole world. You arenโt stupid at all, so you knew exactly when people did you wrong and crossed the line. The pain made you completely furious and feel intense thoughts inside your head, but youโre not stupid enough to act on that anger too quickly. You know not to mess things up by reacting right away, but you know you wonโt let them get away with it forever. You actually tried your best to bury the grudge and avoid doing any kind of revenge.
Yet, the damage he left on your life was simply too big to ignore. The memories gave you constant nightmares that messed with your head until it took you years to finally decide that youโd only get true peace if you shut this person down for good. He clearly never forgot you, either, because you two still text occasionally just for formalities since he honestly thinks he didnโt fuck you up at all. It took you a whole month to gather the necessary supplies at the abandoned warehouse where you used to hang out. You bought a meat cleaver and a hunting knife from two different stores. You also stole a shovel and a crowbar from your neighbors' garage. You slowly stockpiled two gallons of muriatic acid along with a big jug of liquid bleach.
You finished the collection by hiding packs of charcoal briquettes, gas, boxes of baking soda, pliers, and plastic bags for the trash. You kept a strict list running inside your mind about exactly what you needed for this day. Itโs decided that it would officially be his last day the exact second you felt you had finally gotten everything ready. You went to the abandoned warehouse at 5 pm just to make sure every single detail was perfectly in place. You checked on the grave you dug for him throughout the month, which sat hidden under a piece of rotting plywood so he wouldnโt notice it when he arrived. You reached into your big duffel bag, where the things you need are, and you double-check the crushed benzos you intended to mix right into his drink.
The plan was to slip the drugs in the moment he had too many drinks and stepped away to pee. The last time you were here was just yesterday, and it was also the day you put the knife youโll use to kill him and the benzos. You pulled out your phone at 6 pm to send him a carefully worded text message. You made yourself sound incredibly worried while typing that you really needed him to meet you at the usual spot. You wore all black that day so that any potential blood splatters wouldnโt show up on your clothes later. You kept the hunting knife stashed in your right pocket while you moved the crushed benzos in your left pocket for easy access. He only sent back a quick thumbs-up emoji before he officially pulled up to the location thirty minutes later.
You pulled out your absolute best acting skills the second he walked through the warehouse doors. You started ranting about some total bullshit drama to make your text message look believable while you offered him a bottle of alcohol. He gladly took the drink from your hands because he didnโt suspect a single thing. It went exactly as you predicted because it didnโt take him fifteen minutes of drinking before he asked if he could piss somewhere around the corner. You let him go while you quickly dumped all the crushed benzos right into his open bottle. You didnโt even care how many pills were in that powder since you just wanted to see if he would die from an overdose or from your own hands. You managed to suppress your massive rage, even as an uncomfortable feeling crept over your skin during this interaction.
You forced yourself to keep hanging out with this absolute piece of shit without letting your face betray you. He was completely stupid enough to finish the rest of the poisoned drink the exact second he walked back over to your side. It took a good amount of time to realize he wouldnโt die from the fucking pills. You sighed when you saw him closing his eyes before he leaned back against the wall. There werenโt any seats around, so you two were just sitting on the dirty ground of the trashed warehouse. You already knew he was weak when he got drunk, but he was completely helpless now that he was heavily drugged. You stood up right away and leaned down close to his face. โYouโre fucking dead,โ you whispered while staring straight into his glazed eyes.
He barely opened his eyes and mumbled back with a confused expression. โWhat? Of course I am, Iโm fucking drunk,โ he muttered as his head dropped down toward his chest. He started rambling total nonsense after that, but you already pulled the hunting knife out of your pocket. โYeah, so drunk and stupid,โ you whispered while tightening your grip on the handle. You previously studied anatomy for a little over a month to find the best spot to put the knife, so you chose the sternocleidomastoid muscle in his neck instead of his chest. You slammed the knife right into the side of his throat without hesitation. He immediately opened his eyes with a betrayed look when his hands reached up to grasp the wound.
He tried to speak, but he only produced a stuttering mess of wet sounds. โOh, canโt talk now, motherfucker, huh?โ you spat while blood stained your black sleeves. The blade went into his flesh again and again until he stopped moving completely. A few extra stabs made absolutely sure he was dead before you finally walked away from his body. You headed over to the other side of the warehouse to grab the edge of the rotting plywood. The board scraped across the floor, and you moved it aside completely to expose the dug-up ground beneath. All the supplies you needed sat right there in your hidden pile. The charcoal briquettes came out first since you wanted to heat up the pit before you burned him.
The briquettes are scattered in the bottom of the open hole, and you lit them one by one until the smoke began rising from the dirt. You pulled a pair of gloves out from your bag before you walked back over to where the corpse lay on the dirt. The arms were the easiest place to grab him, but his dead weight made the task incredibly difficult anyway. The surge of adrenaline kept you working hard and made you drag him closer to his grave. The movement left a long and dark trail of blood staining the soil behind you. โFucking dead weight,โ you muttered as you forced him another foot forward. You stopped for a second to catch your breath right next to his side. โStupid piece of shit, killing you was easy, but hiding you is the real problem,โ you spat while looking down at his face.
You bent down to search through his pockets for his phone, his wallet, and any identification that could trace back to him. The phone went straight into airplane mode for now, so nobody could track the signal to this warehouse. His wallet and the device disappeared into your own pockets to finish cleaning up the evidence. โIโm so glad youโre finally out of my life,โ you whispered as you stared down at his bloodied body. You walked back over to your pile of tools to grab the pliers you stole from the garage. You knelt right back down in the dirt before you forced his jaw open with one gloved hand. You clamped it onto his front tooth to start pulling it as if youโre doing dental work. It was an incredibly annoying task because you had to do it one by one.
โYour mouth is absolutely disgusting,โ you muttered while wiping the saliva off your wrist. Thankfully, he didnโt even have a full set of thirty-two teeth to worry about tonight. You twisted the pliers back and forth until the first one finally popped out. Determination made you focused on working your way to the next ones. You only managed to rip out five teeth total before you started considering using the crowbar to remove his teeth. You dropped them onto the soil while looking down at the empty gaps in his mouth. You continued popping his teeth out of his mouth until the top and bottom front incisors were completely gone after getting the satisfaction from staring at his fucked up mouth. You moved right along to the canines, which came out much more easily with the pliers.
โAt least these arenโt giving me a massive headache,โ you muttered as you tossed the pieces onto the dirt beside his head. The task turned incredibly difficult when you finally got to the premolars. You had to force his jaw all the way open with your left hand just to reach into the very back of his mouth. โOpen wide, asshole,โ you spat while guiding the pliers deeper to yank the stubborn teeth out. He already had some missing premolars, so you only pulled out six of them. You counted the remaining molars and found only eleven, which meant three of his teeth were already gone before tonight. You suddenly slapped his face with the metal pliers because the numbers werenโt adding up properly. โCanโt even have a normal set of teeth, can you?โ you muttered as you threw the tool onto the blood-soaked soil.
You quickly counted all the pulled teeth on the ground to make sure you had every single one of them. You scooped the bloody pieces up and hid them away in your pocket because you were in a massive hurry. You reached for the iron crowbar to finish the job, since it was getting very late and you still had a lot of work to do. You started banging the bar straight into his jaw until his lower face was totally unrecognizable. You reach for your tools after you mess up with his face and grab the meat cleaver to do the next thing, which seems very crazy to you. You stood over the corpse and looked down at his body to check exactly where you needed to chop him up. You decided to work on his wrists first so you could get his hands out of the way before doing anything else.
โThis is going to take a lot of work,โ you muttered while positioning the blade right above the joint. You brought the cleaver down hard against his wrist to slice through the flesh. The blade cut through perfectly in a single swing and sliced his hand instantly. You quickly did the same to the other side before you picked up the two severed hands and placed them aside on the dirt. You worked on the elbows next, but cutting through the joints took much more effort than cutting through the wrists. The cleaver kept getting stuck in the tissue, and the blood kept oozing onto the dirt. You grew incredibly frustrated with how hard it was to do the work because you needed to finish this quickly.
The shoulders proved to be an even bigger annoyance because of the flesh. You slammed the cleaver into his right shoulder joint several times, but the blade wouldnโt go all the way through on its own. You tried to yank the arm after cutting and slamming the cleaver into the joint, but it didn't work. It made you plant your shoe on his chest, because it's so hard to pull and twist the arm to completely separate the joint. โStop making this harder than it needs to be,โ you muttere as you worked it back and forth until the entire limb detached from the torso. You stared down at his smashed face and immediately wanted his head off the body. You swung the cleaver into his neck with anger until the head detached completely from the torso.
You kicked the skull across the dirt while you jumped on it until the nose and broken jaw cracked under your shoes. You finally felt in control because he couldnโt hurt you anymore after what he did. โPeople will probably think that youโre someoneโs child and friend, but so do I,โ you whispered while wiping blood off your face. โMine are terrible, too, but that didnโt give you the right to treat me like garbage,โ you spat while staring at the body parts scattered in the dirt. You went to the legs next and sliced through his ankles because they were easy to cut through. You muttered insults at the corpse while you cut the pieces away. The rage inside you made the butchering feel effortless as you aimed the cleaver at his knees. You slashed through the joints in a few fast chops while the blood pooled on the floor.
โLook at you now,โ you said as you tossed the detached legs onto the pile. You chopped through the thigh joints to separate the legs from the pelvis completely. You lined up the hands and the feet alongside the head in the dirt where you planned to use the acid. You walked over to the gallon bottle and twisted the plastic cap off before pouring the acid right onto his hands. Your nose scrunched from the strong smell before you shut your eyes tightly for a few seconds. โYou deserve this,โ you muttered after you looked again at the dissolving flesh, and you dumped more acid over the feet. The acid poured over the flesh made you unable to stand the bad odor for very long, so you threw the arms and legs into the pit quickly.
You paced around when everything you just did started messing with your head. You took a deep breath to get a grip on yourself before walking right back to the pile. You felt zero regret as you tipped the gallon bottle to empty the remaining acid over his face. โGo to hell,โ you whispered while the skin melted away. The limbs and the pelvis were already down in the pit. The head, hands, and feet were in the nearby acid puddle. You left those parts alone for now as you looked down at the torso sitting on the ground. You leaned over and shoved your hands against his ribs to roll the deadweight toward the hole. The uneven dirt made it difficult as the skin snagged on rocks. โMove- you- stupid piece of trash,โ you growled as you pushed with all your strength.
Your arms trembled from exhaustion, and your muscles ached because he was hard to move. Your anger worsened because he was finding a way to cause you trouble even though he was already dead. You gave another kick to his side until the torso rolled over the edge and dropped down into the pit. You wiped the sweat off your forehead while you looked down at the hole. You let out a ragged breath while staring at the remains, but you left after a minute to pick up the crowbar from the floor again, where you left it earlier. You used it to roll the hands, feet, and head from the puddle into the pit until they dropped down on the torso. You grabbed the remaining acid bottle and poured it over the pile of body parts just to make him more unrecognizable.
You twisted the cap back onto the empty bottle and got a disposable plastic trash bag before you started picking up the trash. You will put it in there, but mostly itโs just the bottles of the acid along with the empty drinks you used earlier. The smell made you gag, but you had no choice except to make it worse because you had to burn his body. You unsealed the one-liter bottle of gas you bought after getting it from the duffel bag of tools you stashed for this day and splashed it over the remains. You stared down into the hole to look at him before you flicked the fire up from the lighter that you also got from the duffel bag, and you threw it into the pit. The flames took over right away and burned everything down there. You started cleaning around the warehouse while the fire crackles from the burning body, and you pour bleach over the exact spot where you killed him.
You scrub the blood trails off the floor until the concrete is completely clean. The empty gas container and the bleach bottle go straight into a trash bag along with your leftover drinks. You drop the cleaver back into your duffel bag next to the knife. The pliers clink against your other stash when you shove it inside, but you just leave the zipper open. Your chest tightened while you stared at the pit because the fire was making the whole warehouse hot. The heat crept up toward the ceiling, and the smell got so bad that your stomach started to turn. Leaving the mess like this isnโt an option, so you reached right back into the open duffel bag to grab the boxes of baking soda. Your eyes watered as you opened them one by one and dumped the powder right down into the pit to get rid of the smell.
You watched the powder cover the mess before you tossed the empty boxes into your disposable trash bag. A tired grunt leaves your mouth when you pull the shovel out from the bottom of the same bag. You didnโt want to spend another second in this place, so you went straight to the containers near the pit to scoop up the dirt you'd kept inside them. Your arms are starting to feel sore as you carry the soil over and dump it down to bury everything. The flames slowly died down as you kept covering the burning remains until you filled them to the top. Sweat rolled down your neck while you worked, but you didnโt stop until the dirt filled the entire hole. The shovel goes right back into the bag, and the plywood is dragged across the warehouse to cover up the hidden spot. You zipped your duffel bag closed and grabbed your disposable trash bag.
Your fingers were shaking because your mind kept looping through everything that happened tonight, but you forced yourself to walk toward the exit without looking back. You pushed the warehouse door open and stepped out into the cold air. You hurried over to your car and threw both bags straight onto the passenger seat. You got behind the wheel and started the engine because you needed to get away from this place right now. The car rolled out of the empty lot while you stared at the road ahead. Those gloves are still covering your hands, and you donโt even think about taking them off yet, because you need to dispose of the evidence first. You watched the empty sidewalk until you finally spotted a public trash can under a streetlamp. You briefly pulled over to the side, got out of the car, and dumped the pliers straight into the bin, then got back behind the wheel.
You drove a few miles down the road before you parked near another dumpster. You stepped out to throw the cleaver into that bin, but you saved the knife for a different stop since you wanted the tools scattered in separate places. A second of silence in the driver's seat let you catch your breath while you used your gloved fingers to pry open the side of his phone. The SIM card came out easily and was tossed out the window into the grass, then you started the engine again. You drove until you were completely away from that part of town so you could get rid of his wallet. You reached inside to pull his identification cards out one by one. Those cards flew out the window at different spots along the empty road. You made sure you didnโt keep anything except the phone, which you'd already broken by stomping on it earlier.
You reached into your pocket with your covered hand to feel the hard shape of his teeth just to make sure they were there. You knew that leaving where you live was your only real option since being anywhere near that empty warehouse meant getting caught. You kept your head down and threw your necessary clothes into a bag the second you drove back to your place. You prayed that your savings would be enough to get you by. You abandoned your place that same night and spent months bouncing from one place to another until you finally ended up in Oceanside. Living there wasnโt easy because the little jobs you get from places aren't enough to keep you alive, but you sold your car to some people on the road just to get easy money that helped you get here to Oceanside.
The locals from the oceanside seemed to know each other, which made it hard to find someone when they already had established relationships with one another. You didnโt know how you were going to blend in with them, but you needed to pull your big girl pants on to at least try for yourself, and it worked out in your favor because you learned how to pick things up on your own. You figured out how to watch people so you could get information on who to avoid around town. You managed to find a shitty job at a local diner that at least paid rent and a meal for a day. Keeping your ears open at work made you realize that the Codys ran almost everything in Oceanside. You knew exactly how to stay out of trouble, but this place was small enough that you were bound to encounter everyone at some point.
You actually met one of them without even realizing who she was at the time because you were working that shift when she walked in. A woman named Julia popped into the diner with her son and sat down at a table. You were the one who went over to hand them their bill for the food they ordered, but they suddenly didnโt have enough cash on them. โDo you have anything at all?โ you asked while you watched her struggling to keep her eyes open. She looked completely out of it, but you figured she just wanted to feed her kid. โYou can just pay half,โ you offered as you tapped your pen against the notepad. The boy quickly dug into his pocket to grab a few crumpled bills. โHere, is this enough?โ he asked while he held the money out to you.
Julia immediately grabbed his wrist to push his hand away. โNo, J. Iโll take care of it,โ she mumbled as she patted his shoulder. You just sighed and nodded because you felt too bad to argue with them. You took whatever cash she handed you, then you walked over to the register where your older coworker was standing. โDo you know them?โ you whispered as you organized the receipts in your hand. The woman immediately shook her head while she stepped closer to you. โStay away from them, thatโs Pope Codyโs twin,โ she warned as she kept her voice down to avoid other people hearing what she said. You definitely recognized the surname, but you didnโt know who Pope was. โJust let her give you what she has,โ she ordered while she started hitting buttons on the machine.
โSo she just eats for free around here?โ you asked because the math didnโt make sense to you. โItโs not free,โ your coworker explained as she printed out a new ticket. โWe list what she gets, and Smurf pays the businesses her daughter visits,โ she said while she grabbed a separate notebook from under the counter to write down the remaining balance. You just watched her put the book away, and you realized they would keep coming back. Knowing that made you look out for them, so you started claiming their table every time they walked into the diner. You noticed that Julia never actually asked for anything while she just sat there and staring at her coffee mug. โI brought you a little something extra today,โ you whispered as you slid a bigger plate onto their table.
You always made sure to sneak them some extra fries or a large slice of pie so they could eat more. The boy usually just nodded at you before he started eating the food. โThanks for this,โ J mumbled while he grabbed a handful of fries. You just smiled and walked back to the counter because you really couldnโt stop your empathy from taking over. What you didnโt know was that Julia didnโt even live with her family anymore. You also had no idea that her twin brother secretly kept tabs on her whenever he could. He always just sat in his truck across the street, and he watched you give his sister free food through the diner windows. Today is different, though, because he waited until Julia and J finally left the parking lot before he left his car to walk through the front door of the diner.
You had no idea who he was when you grabbed your notepad to walk over to his table. โWhat can I get you?โ you asked as you clicked your pen. He just looked at you for a second before he mumbled his order. He wanted a black coffee with a waffle, but he specifically asked for absolutely nothing on it. He didnโt want any syrup or butter on the plate at all. You took his order straight to the kitchen for the cook to make, and you brought the plate back to his booth a few minutes later. His eyes exchanged between you and the food while you placed the dishes on the table, but his gaze quickly went back to your face. You went back behind the counter to let him eat, but ten minutes went by, and the food just sat there untouched like a display.
You tried to ignore him by wiping down the countertops, and you even took an order for a truck driver who just came in for pie. His stare followed you everywhere, no matter what you did in the diner, until you finally got tired of it and walked over to slide into the seat right across from him. โAre you going to eat that or just look at me?โ you asked while you crossed your arms over the table. He just blinked at you a few times without looking away. He looked like he didnโt even want to go inside, but he refused to look away from your face. โYou help them,โ he muttered as he kept his hands on his lap. โWhat are you even talking about?โ you asked as you stared right back at him. You just blinked in total confusion while you tried to figure out how this stranger knew anything about what you did for Julia and J.
โJulia,โ he said as he kept his eyes looking to yours. Your brain connected the pieces immediately while your lips parted in surprise. โOh, Julia,โ you whispered while you glanced over your shoulder to make sure none of the other employees were listening. You turned back to him with a frown because you wanted to know how he fit into her life. You felt a surge of panic in your chest because giving away free food could get you fired on the spot. โYou arenโt going to tell my manager about that, right?โ you whispered while you kept your voice as quiet as possible. He just shook his head slowly, but he didnโt look away from your face. โWho are you anyway?โ you asked as you leaned in closer over the table. He picked at the skin around his thumb for a moment before he stared right back at you.
โHer brother,โ he stated while his jaw tightened. โDonโt mess with her,โ he said as he placed his hands on the table. It sounded like a warning to your ears, but he just stared at you without changing his expression. โShe needs the food,โ he added while he looked down at the untouched waffle. He stood up from the booth before you could even respond to him. He reached into his pocket to pull out a hundred-dollar bill, and he dropped it right next to the coffee mug. He walked straight out of the diner without looking back at you once. โWhat the fuck is wrong with that guy?โ you muttered as you watched the door close behind him. You picked up the cash from the table while you tried to process the weird interaction because you had no idea you had just met a Cody.
You half-expected him to never show up again after such an encounter, but he proved you wrong the very next week. He waited in his truck until Julia and J finished eating, so he could avoid them until they walked away from the diner before he came inside. He took the same table and sat in the same spot while he stared at you. That behavior became a predictable habit over the next month, where they would come into the diner only once a week, and he never missed a visit. He always ordered the same waffle and black coffee during those first four times, but he didnโt touch a single bite. He also always put a hundred-dollar bill on the table every single time and left. You didnโt feel creeped out by the way he stared at you because you figured he probably just had some issues.
It seemed like he really missed his sister, but something was stopping him from talking to her. You could tell he probably had some mental struggles, but you werenโt about to judge him for being that way. You actually found him intriguing, and you definitely couldnโt criticize anyone anyway, since you literally killed a man in your past. His presence became just another part of your shift by the time the second month started, so you stopped asking for his order since you already knew what he wanted. โThe usual waffle and coffee?โ you asked as you stood by his table with your notepad. He just gave a small nod and watched your hands while you put the note away. He finally started trying the coffee during his weekly visits after that week, but it took a few more weeks of the same pattern before he actually finished the whole order.
He started trying to make conversation about his family once he got comfortable enough. โDid Julia look like she was doing okay today?โ he asked one afternoon while he was cleaning his own table. You wiped the table beside his so you could be close enough to answer him without raising your voice. โShe seemed good. She ate everything on her plate,โ you said as you gave him a reassuring look. He nodded slowly and looked down at his empty cup. โDid you give her the larger servings today?โ he muttered while he adjusted the fork to his liking on the table. โYeah, I always slip extra onto their plates,โ you whispered back while you kept an eye out for your manager. You found the occasional questions really endearing because they showed how much he cared about them despite his behavior.
His presence became a regular part of your Tuesdays because he always arrived at the same hour. Your question during the last time he went there is about why he didnโt just sit with Julia and J, which made his knuckles turn white around his coffee mug. โItโs complicated,โ he croaked while his eyes were focused entirely on the windows. You didnโt push him further after that because the tension in his shoulders told you heโd snap if you kept probing. He left his usual hundred-dollar bill on the table before he departed. The next Tuesday felt completely empty because the table remained vacant for your entire afternoon shift. You wiped the counters twice, and you kept looking toward the front just to see if he was there, but his truck never even arrived.
Itโs also the same after that week, and thereโs still no sign of him. Youโve actually been looking forward to each Tuesday ever since your first interaction with him, and you canโt help but get completely anxious about disappearances. How canโt you when you started to feel that you needed that persistent attention he always gave you on Tuesday? Not showing up at the diner felt like a rejection. Your skin felt hot and agitated while you worked because you couldnโt stand being worried about things and not knowing what was going on. โWho was that guy in the corner booth every Tuesday?โ you asked your coworker while you scrubbed a stubborn stain off the counter. She shrugged as she counted the money in the cashier and looked around before she sighed.
โOh, thatโs Pope. People talk that heโs in prison for armed robbery a few days back,โ she said with a lower voice, and she scoffed. You stopped scrubbing and felt your stomach twist because you didnโt expect it at all. Not that you didnโt hear about the shady business the Codyโs ran, because you do. You just thought they would be more careful than that, and youโre stupid for eating what your own words in your head because youโre the one being stupid when you ask people around where the Pope lives. People know them so well that it doesnโt take long before all three people you asked answered the same way. You almost ran like a desperate puppy and stopped at the massive place, and you walked toward the gate because you had to see where he lived.
You stared at the house and wondered if you were doing something stupid, but you didnโt turn back. You walked across the street and paced in front of the locked property for a couple of minutes before finally deciding to knock on the gate. Your knuckles banged against it multiple times until you noticed a small smart doorbell in the wall nearby, and you realized a camera was probably recording your face right now. โWho are you?โ a womanโs voice came through the speaker after a short delay. You gripped the edge of the gate tightly while you tried to find the right words. โIโm a friend of Julia,โ you yelled back at the device and hoping someone would open up. โShe doesnโt live here,โ the woman answered through the small speaker with a completely dismissive tone.
You moved closer to the gate while you shook your head. โNo, wait, Iโm not looking for her,โ you shouted because you didnโt want her to hang up on you. โIโm looking for Pope,โ you added because you couldnโt leave without answers. โPopeโs not here,โ she stated plainly after a short pause. You didnโt want to get turned away, so you kept pushing. โPlease, I just want to ask something,โ you begged as you stared directly into the small lens. โSure, honey. Wait outside,โ she replied before the connection cut out and left you waiting in the silence for a couple of minutes until the latch finally clicked. The woman opened the gate with a shotgun in her hands, and you immediately stepped back. โMaโam- Iโm not going to do anything! I didnโt do anything wrong!โ you panicked while you raised your open hands in the air.
โAre you one of those junkies Julia gets high with?โ she asked while her eyes scanned your clothes. You felt insulted because the accusation was completely wrong. โWhat? No! Iโm a waitress, r-remember?โ you stuttered while you tried to catch your breath. โYou saw me before when you paid for Juliaโs balance,โ you reminded her, because you hoped she would recognize you. โSorry, honey. You look just like everyone else to me,โ she stated with an indifferent look that immediately hurt your pride. You had to defend yourself because the weapon was aimed right at you. โI only give them food. I swear,โ you pleaded while you kept eye contact to show you werenโt lying. โAnd I served Pope, too,โ you whispered while your knees started to shake under the pressure of the barrel pointing at your chest.
โPope?โ she muttered with sudden curiosity as her eyebrows raised slightly. โYeah, Pope,โ you nodded while your hands were up. โHe eats at the diner after he watches over Julia and J,โ you explained, because you wanted her to understand your connection to him. โI just want to know where he is,โ you choked out while you stared at the gun. โIn prison,โ she answered before she lowered the shotgun. โCome inside,โ she ordered before she turned around. You gave a small nod and followed her through the open gate until both of you were in the kitchen. โI donโt know who you are. I hope you understand why I need the precautions,โ she said while she put the gun down on a counter. She walked over to the island, where a tray of lasagna was under foil, and scooped a massive portion onto a plate.
She slid it right in front of you, and you felt completely forced to eat it because you didnโt want to anger her after the incident outside. You picked up the fork and took a small bite just to satisfy her. โWhatโs all the shouting about?โ Baz asked as he walked into the room from the hallway. โBaz, this is our guest,โ Smurf said as she waved a hand toward you while she leaned against the kitchen counter. You gave your name quickly because his eyes roamed over your face and clothes, as if he were trying to figure you out. โSheโs a friend of Pope,โ Smurf added before she tapped the edge of your plate. โPope has friends?โ Baz muttered while he raised an eyebrow and leaned his hip against the island. He took a second to study you before he gave a casual nod and strolled out toward the kitchen.
You gripped your fork tightly because the condescending way they talked about him fired up your irritation instantly. โI just want to know where theyโre holding him,โ you whispered as you stared at the half-eaten lasagna. โEat your food first, then we can talk about it,โ Smurf replied while she pointed a finger at your plate. You take another bite and nod once Baz is completely out of sight. โWhy do you want to see him anyway?โ Smurf asked while she watched you finish eating. โI want to visit him,โ you answered honestly because you didnโt see a reason to lie to his mother. โI didnโt know Pope had a new girl,โ she stated, and she tilted her head to gauge your reaction. You felt a prickle of annoyance because she was clearly trying to mess with you.
โI just grew fond of him,โ you explained as you pushed the empty plate away. โLetโs trade numbers then,โ Smurf suggested before she grabbed her phone from the counter. โYou can tell me how he looks whenever you go see him,โ she requested as she handed her phone over to you so you could enter yours. You agreed and typed your contact number into her device before you sent yourself a text because it felt like a harmless deal. โIโll give you two hundred dollars for every single visit,โ Smurf said after she pocketed the phone. โYou can collect the money at the end of the month as a thank you for looking out for my baby,โ she stated before you could even process the offer. โNo- no. I donโt want your money,โ you protested, and you shook your head because you didnโt want her to think you had an agenda.
โTake it, honey,โ Smurf insisted as she stepped closer and patted your arm. โMy son is different from other people,โ she sighed while her expression softened to look vulnerable. โIโm just really glad heโs finally talking to someone who isnโt one of his brothers,โ she murmured before she stepped back to wash her hands in the sink. โWhat does he do exactly when he comes to the diner?โ Smurf asked as she turned off the faucet and leaned against the sink to get an answer from you. You wiped your mouth with a napkin, and you wanted to answer carefully without causing trouble for him. โHe usually doesnโt even touch his food; he just sits there and stares at me,โ you explained while you played with the edge of your paper napkin.
โYeah, that sounds just like him,โ she murmured as she nodded her head with a look that showed she wasnโt surprised at all. โWhat does he talk to you about?โ she pressed while she walked over to the counter right across from you. You shrugged because you didnโt have much to tell her. โHe doesnโt really say anything, he just watches,โ you whispered while thoughts spun through your head as you tried to figure out why she wanted to know so much about his habits. Her posture relaxed during the interrogation because she realized you were completely clueless about their family history or any crimes. You didnโt know a single thing about the Codys, but you were clearly drawn to her son, and she looked like she wanted to find a way to use your interest. โAre you new to Oceanside, honey?โ Smurf asked while she crossed her arms over her chest. You gripped the edge of the kitchen island because you felt defensive at the sudden intrusion.
โIโve only been here for a few months,โ you muttered as you looked away toward the glass doors leading to the pool to avoid her direct gaze. โWhere did you move from?โ she questioned while she tilted her head to check your reaction. You kept your mouth shut because a sudden panic made it hard to breathe. You couldnโt tell her that you killed a person back home and left without leaving a single trace behind. You had deleted your online profiles and used only cash for your small diner jobs so that nothing could tie back to you. โItโs okay, honey, you donโt have to talk about it if you donโt want to,โ Smurf promised with a soft tone as she gave you a reassuring nod. You didnโt trust her kind words because her calculating gaze suggested she was already planning to dig into your past.
Smurf kept her sweet expression because she realized you were a mystery who could be very dangerous or very useful to her. She knew she had to keep a close eye on you since you werenโt family, but she didnโt want to throw you away just yet. If you were crazy enough to show up at her house for her son, then you were compliant enough to visit him and keep his head straight while he was locked up. โHis real name is Andrew,โ Smurf whispered as she walked over to a drawer to grab a pen and scribble on a small slip of paper. โHeโs serving his time over at Folsom State Prison,โ she added while she watched you tuck the address safely into your pocket. That slip of paper was the only thing on your mind until Saturday finally came around.
You spent your day off taking a grueling hours long bus ride up to Folsom State Prison, with nothing but your ID and cash in your pocket, because you had already researched the strict visitation rules at home. The shared visiting room was completely packed and deafening with the sound of screaming toddlers. The chatter from other families was loud and made you a little uncomfortable while you waited at a small table. Andrew had no idea you were coming, but your thoughts raced in circles because you two werenโt even friends. The guards finally brought him out, and he stopped in his tracks before glaring because your presence made absolutely no sense to him. โWhy are you here?โ he demanded when he sat down across from you and glared at you with those hostile hazel eyes.
โI just wanted to see how youโre doing,โ you answered as you scratched at a mark on the table because you didnโt want him to see your hands shaking. He shuffled his feet against the floor and stared down at his own knuckles. The sudden attention made him look like he wanted to crawl right out of his skin. โYou shouldnโt have come,โ he rasped because he looked completely surprised to see you sitting there. โI donโt even know who the hell you areโฆ youโre not my family. Go back to Oceanside,โ he snapped before he abruptly stood up from the plastic chair to signal a guard over. You stood up too after his words made your blood boil at the sudden rejection, and you couldnโt believe he was ending the visit after only five minutes. Yet, you kept showing up every single week like a total leech.
You knew Andrew could easily tell the guards he didnโt want any visitors, but he came out to the visiting room every time. It was incredibly annoying because heโd just sit down and say something mean, and then heโd tell you to go home before he walked right back to his cell. This situation went on for almost two months, and you always arrived at the exact same hour. Andrew actually started looking forward to your visits, even though he treated you like garbage and barely talked to you. He was just being cautious because he didnโt really know you and only recognized you as the waitress who used to serve Julia. He remembered you were always nice to her back then, so he always took his seat at the table for a few minutes before he got all grumpy and told you to get the fuck out.
But then you missed a week, and he got completely disappointed when your usual time passed. He was the type of person who noticed the same things happening immediately, so his head practically boiled with anger when the guard told him there was no visit for him today. He stewed in his cell until the next weekend came around, and he practically marched into the visiting room the second they called his name. โWhere were you last week?โ he snapped, as he slammed his hands onto the table that caught people's attention, and he just glared right into their eyes. โI had a date,โ you answered with a small smirk, because you actually enjoyed messing with him after all his attitude. โYouโre a liar,โ he growled, while his grip tightened against the edge of the tabletop.
โWhat? You donโt think a pretty girl like me can get a date?โ you asked with a chuckle, because his intense reaction was honestly hilarious. Andrew stopped completely and shut his mouth when your sudden remark caught him entirely off guard. You didnโt let him sit in his confusion for long, but you shrugged your shoulders before taking the fake excuse back. โRelax. Iโm messing with you. I had to cover an extra shift at the diner,โ you explained, before you stood up from the plastic chair because you wanted to try a completely different approach with him today. You walked over to the vending machines across the crowded room and used some money to buy a burrito along with a bottle of water. You pushed the items right toward his side after you returned to the table.
โEat something,โ you ordered, while you sat back down and watched his reaction closely. Andrew looked totally upset about the missed visit, and his defensive walls came right back up as he stared down at the snack. He glared at the plastic wrapping as if it were absolutely disgusting, because he was completely uncomfortable with your sudden gesture. โI donโt want your charity,โ he grunted, and he crossed his arms against his chest. Your own mood was totally ruined by now, so you simply dragged the plastic tray right back to your side of the table. You ripped the wrapper open out of pure irritation and bit into the burrito right in front of his face because you werenโt going to let Smurfโs cash go to waste.
You purposely chewed slowly and stared back at him just to be petty, while the loud chatter of the other families filled the background. Andrew just watched you eat in a completely awkward silence, and he looked entirely thrown off by your stubbornness. He didnโt say another word for the rest of that visit, but you werenโt stupid, and by now you knew he completely lived by having a plan to do the whole day. You spent the next few weeks building on that stubbornness by establishing the exact same pattern every Saturday, because you wanted him to soften up or at least associate you with something familiar. It wasnโt like the vending machine burrito tasted amazing or that he ate it every day, but your consistency slowly worked.
He eventually touched the food because he did the exact same thing with the waffles and coffee you used to serve him. Once he grew comfortable with your weekly visits and expected you on that specific day, he tried to be nicer to you, and he didnโt just stare at it the next time you set down the heated burrito and the water. โYou got the tasty oneโฆ I mean, good options in the burrito,โ he muttered as he reached out and took the food. Andrew had specific habits once he accepted the meal, and you watched him carefully tear open the top seam of the plastic wrapper. He folded the edges down into clean, even cuffs so his thumbs never touched the grease on the tortilla, and then he picked up the water bottle to place it down right in the exact center of the table between the two of you, before he took a single bite.
โTell me if itโs not hot,โ you whispered, while you watched him chew his food. Andrew stopped chewing mid-bite because the center of the burrito was cold, while the ends were completely hot. He didnโt say a single word to complain, but he laid the tortilla back down on the wrapper. He stared at the cold spot with a locked jaw because he absolutely hated it when his food wasnโt hot throughout, and he refused to finish the rest of the meal. โDo you want me to go heat up a new one instead?โ you asked when you pointed at the abandoned food on the table. Andrew just shook his head instantly, but he didnโt offer any explanation for his rejection. You sighed and reached across the plastic tray to grab the wrapper yourself, because you werenโt about to waste the money.
โFine, Iโll just eat it then,โ you muttered, as you took a bite of the cold middle part of the tortilla. Andrew watched your face for a few seconds before his eyes dropped toward his hands. โHowโs Julia doing?โ he asked, while his fingers tapped a quick pattern against the laminate surface. You let out a breath and shook your head, because you really didnโt want to get into that whole situation today. Andrew squinted his eyes and leaned forward slightly. โWhat?โ he snapped, after your visual avoidance made him impatient. You chewed your food quickly and swallowed it before you gave him the bad news. โI havenโt seen her for three weeks now, and I think sheโs really struggling out there,โ you explained, while you watched his posture change.
Andrew twitched his mouth in response, but he didnโt say a single word about her. โHow are you doing anyway? Is prison tolerable, or is someone beating you up in here?โ you asked, as you leaned your elbows on the table to get a closer look at him. Andrew stared back at you with a completely confused expression on his face when your protective question made him feel like you were treating him like a little boy. Andrew narrowed his eyes and sat up straighter, as if he wanted to remind you that he could easily fight his own battles. Yet, he still expected you to show up every single week after that, and those weekly updates became the exact reason Smurf kept paying you cash for every single update you brought back to her.
Collecting that money meant stopping by the Cody house on Monday nights because you had work during the day, and you usually just walked right through the unlocked front door, but you picked the absolute worst day to skip knocking. The kitchen was completely empty when you stepped inside, but you heard muffled movements. You walked a little further into the house and stopped when you found Smurf, Baz, Deran, and Craig standing in the living room around a fresh, dead body on the floor. Your immediate instinct was to turn around and run back to your car, but Craig looked up and spotted you before you could even take a step backward. The entire room went totally silent, and the boys stared at you because your sudden arrival caught them completely off guard.
โGreat, now we have another fucking problem to deal with,โ Craig snapped, as he turned his head toward Smurf with a tense posture. Deran gave you a quick look that showed a bit of empathy, since the two of you had grown kind of close during your weekly visits, but Baz stepped in front of the body to block your view. โShe canโt leave this house,โ Baz muttered, while his hand rested near his waistband. โI-I wonโt say anything, I didnโt see a single thing,โ you stammered out quickly while your panic kicked in, but you tried hard to keep your expression neutral. Smurf stepped forward with a warm smile that didnโt reach her eyes at all, while she looked you up and down. โOh, sweetheart, youโre always dropping by at the most interesting times,โ Smurf said softly, while she rubbed a hand over Craigโs shoulder to calm him down.
You didnโt want her to think you were weak or a liability, so you never looked away from her as you held your ground. โI know exactly what a corpse looks like,โ you stated firmly, because you wanted them to understand that you werenโt going to pass out or scream. You needed to save your own skin and prove your utility right now, so you kept talking before they could make a decision about you. โI can help you get rid of it, and I know exactly how to clean up blood without leaving a trace,โ you pitched desperately, while your hand pointed toward the mess on the floor. Smurf studied your face for a long moment, because your lack of a panicked reaction told her everything she needed to know.
She already ran a background check on you weeks ago. She found out you were a missing person with absolutely no digital footprint, but seeing you offer to scrub up blood confirmed her theory that you either stole something massive or killed someone back home. You were broken and dangerous, but you were also the perfect tool to keep Andrew stable and give her leverage. โAlright, you can help us,โ Smurf said, after she pointed a finger directly at your chest to establish the rules. โCraig and Baz are taking the body, but youโre sleeping right here under my roof with me and Deran on cleaning duty,โ Smurf added when she decided to keep you within armโs reach. The boys unrolled a piece of plastic on the floor and prepared to wrap up the mess.
โMake sure he turns into a total John Doe before you bury him,โ you whispered, as you watched Baz grab the shoulders of the corpse. You stepped closer to the group because your mind went straight into survival mode. โDestroy the teeth and get rid of the thumbprints first, because thatโs the easiest way for cops to identify,โ you explained, while the boys stopped what they were doing to stare at you in surprise. Craig let out a breath and looked up at Smurf for confirmation, but she just gave a slow nod because your resourcefulness proved exactly how valuable you were going to be to her family. Craig and Baz carried the wrapped body out through the back door after they finished taping up the plastic.
You immediately went to work on the living room floor, and you wanted to get rid of every trace before the stains could set into the surface. Deran fetched the cleaning supplies from the laundry room, as Smurf watched from the armchair to ensure you kept your word. You dumped bleach over the blood and scrubbed the floor until your arms felt tired, but you didnโt stop until the chemical smell filled the entire house. โThe decorations near the corner need to go in the trash too,โ Deran muttered, while he tossed a bunch of stained items into a black garbage bag. You rinsed your sponge in the bucket because you wanted to make sure you didnโt miss a single spot. โWe already took care of it,โ you replied softly, as you wiped down the bottom of the coffee table to erase the last of the mess. Smurf nodded in approval from her spot and smiled when she saw the room completely clean.
That approval kept you tied to the family over the following months, because she asked you to come over to the house all the time, and being around them constantly made it feel like you had just hidden that body yesterday. The frequent visits gave you real information to share when you went back to Folsom to see Andrew. He sat across from you at the metal table, while his fingers picked at a seam on his jumpsuit. โJulia staying out of trouble?โ he asked bluntly, as he stared down at his own lap without looking at you. You gave him a small nod because you wanted to keep him calm. โSheโs getting by, Pope,โ you answered quietly, while you watched his leg bounce up and down under the table.
He didnโt acknowledge your reply, but he adjust himself in the chair. โSmurf keeping Baz busy with work?โ He muttered before he leaned forward with an awkward tilt of his head. You nodded again, because you had to hide the fact that Baz and Craig had just dumped a dead guy a while back. โTheyโre managing the business just like always,โ you said casually, as you leaned your elbows on the surface between you. He blinked a few times and stared at the wall behind you before he leaned in a little closer. โDid you see Catherine? Does she look good?โ Andrew whispered, while his breathing got a little faster. You didnโt think much of the sudden change, because he always asked about everyone in order. โYeah, I saw her at the house last week, and she looked totally fine,โ you shared easily, as you watched his fingers grip the edge of the table.
โHow is Lena handling school?โ He added, after his hand moved to scratch at his neck in a repetitive motion. You kept your face perfectly neutral, since you just wanted to give him a regular update on his family. โShe has everything she needs,โ you assured him when you reached across the table to tap his arm to stop him. He dropped his hand away from his neck and let it rest against his lap. โBaz has to take care of them,โ Andrew said firmly, while his eyes drifted back down to touch the fabric of his jumpsuit. You just listened to him ask things like he always did during these visits, but your next visit to the visitation room didnโt start with you talking to Andrew first, because a guard started a conversation with you first.
He strolled over to your spot when he saw you checking the clock. โYou here for Cody?โ the guard asked, as he rested his hands on his belt. You looked up at him, and you gave a nod before he spoke again. โYou must be Catherine, the wife he keeps bragging about,โ he muttered, and he nodded toward the chair across from you. โPope doesnโt ever shut up about you during the block rotations,โ he added, before he stepped back to give you some space. Hearing the guard mistake you for Bazโs partner left you completely baffled and angry. The piece of information forced your mind back to every previous visit, because Andrew never forgot to ask about Catherine. You used to think he just wanted regular updates on the family, but the guardโs words painted a completely different picture. It seemed like he actually wanted Bazโs wife.
You wanted to know exactly what kind of stories he spread in this place, so you hid your reaction to keep the conversation going. โYeah, thatโs me,โ you lied, and you placed your hands on the surface. You needed to hear what Andrew said about Bazโs wife, so you tilted your head up to keep the guard engaged. โWhat does he say about me?โ you asked softly, while you watched him glance toward the desk. The guard shrugged and looked at your face. โJust stuff about how you look, and how much he needs to get back to you,โ the guard explained, before he walked back to his post. You dropped your hands from the surface into your lap, and your fingers balled into fists under the table after he spoke.
You stared at the chair across from you, and you didnโt even notice how dry your throat felt, because the whole situation made you feel sick. Why the fuck was Andrew talking about her when she never even showed up at this prison? Catherine wasnโt the one here for him. You were the only one who helped him, and you were the one sitting in this room. You exhaled through your nose to keep your temper in check because what you just heard pissed you off. You swore that you would find out what he was playing at when they brought him through those doors, but you didnโt have to wait long after the guard walked back to his post, because the door clicked open and Andrew shuffled out into the room. He watched you from across the room when he walked over to your table, but he pulled out the chair across from you without making any noise.
You offered him a smile as he sat down. โHey,โ you murmured softly, and your hand reached across the surface to touch the edge of his sleeve. โDid you want me to get you some food from the vending machines?โ you asked, since you wanted to see if heโd look up at you. Andrew just stared down down at his knuckles, and he shook his head right away. โIโm not hungry,โ he muttered, and he adjusted his posture against the chair. He didnโt say a thank you, but he looked at you, and his concern for the family took over before you could even start a normal conversation. He needed to know how everyone was doing back at the house, but it all made sense now why he always asked about those same two people, after knowing that he told people inside the prison that Catherine was his wife.
Andrew knew you werenโt lying to his questions, because you were hanging around the property, and he knew that because Smurf told him during a prison call that she took a liking to you after you met. She claimed she let you hang around because you always visited him, but you knew Smurf lied to him. She would never tell her son that you actually became closer to the family because of the murder. You didnโt let your anger show, but you decided to change how you handled his intense curiosity about Baz and Catherine during the visits that followed. The next week, you sat in the same spot, and you pretended to be your usual self when he brought her up. โThey look totally happy together,โ you lied smoothly, and you watched his fingers twitch against the table.
โI think Catherineโs trying to bring Lena into Smurfโs house more often, even though they donโt have a good relationship,โ you added, before you leaned in to watch his reaction. Andrew didnโt say anything, but his jaw clenched, and he looked away for a second. You rubbed it in even more when he asked for another update the week after that. โBaz was talking about how much he loves his family,โ you whispered, while you kept looking at him to see how he took it. You liked poking at his sore spots about Catherine just to make him stop asking about her, so you always lie after another, and your next visit is no different. โI think Catherineโs glowing lately,โ you implied, with a small nod to suggest a pregnancy without saying the word.
His reactions to your answers never failed to make you satisfied, especially when he always looked tense, and he looked completely miserable after hearing your words. You swore to yourself that youโd keep changing the updates every single week, until he finally stopped asking about Bazโs wife. But you were glad that he actually started telling you about the prison lately, even though you were being petty and an asshole every time he asked about Catherine. He never talked about himself before, but now he shared actual details of his day. He made sure to describe the loud fights on the block or mutter about his deep hatred for sleeping there. Andrew trusted you because you were the only person who kept showing up for him week after week, and that consistency finally paid off.
You even mentioned the location where you live during one of those conversations, because you were complaining about the place and how awful the landlord was. โYou should visit me there once you get out,โ you joked with a laugh, and you watched him listen closely to the description of the building. He didnโt say he would come by, but he remembered every word about the place, and it felt good knowing you were someone he never expected to have by his side while he was stuck inside the prison. But, you never thought to this day that he would actually take the invitation seriously. He had good timing, because you took a sick day leave from work since it wasnโt Saturday, and you were just resting inside your home when you heard loud knock coming from the door.
You walked over to open it because you expected your landlord or a neighbor who needed something, but your eyes widened when you saw who was on the other side. Andrew was standing right there in front of you. He looked disheveled in his wrinkled clothes, and he held his small prison-issued property bag in one hand. You stared at him in shock, since he never told you he'd gotten an early release during your weekly visits, and he'd kept the entire thing a secret from everyone. He didnโt call Smurf or his brothers about the news, so nobody else knew he was out. โPope?โ you whispered, and your hand froze on the edge of the doorframe, because your head spun at his sudden appearance. Andrew didnโt say anything right away, but he looked you straight in the eye, and he stood there awkwardly in the doorway.
โI didnโt have anywhere else to go,โ he muttered, and his fingers tightened on the property bag against his hip. You stepped back to let him inside, because he looked lost out there in front of your door. He looked around the room like he wanted to memorize every corner, but he actually remembered your joke about him visiting after all those months. It felt surreal to see him standing in your space, after all the time spent inside that prison visiting room. You backed away from the entrance to give him room, and he walked into your place before you finally shut the door. You guided him over to the couch by his sleeve, and he sat down on the cushion with his property bag placed in his lap.
You stood right in front of him with a genuine relief filled your chest, because he wanted to go to a place, or at least thought about you, when he had nowhere else to turn to. You feel a little confused, though, about why he avoided his own family entirely after getting out. โWhy didnโt you go see Smurf first?โ you asked, while you looked down at his hair, because you wanted to understand his choice. Andrew shook his head instantly, and he stared down at his shoes for a few seconds before he looked back at you. โTheyโre just gonna smother me with questions,โ he muttered, and he seemed overwhelmed by the idea of dealing with his brothers today. โI just wanted to see you for a minute,โ he added, and he his eyes meets yours.
โIโll go find them later,โ he explained, and he leaned back against the cushions, and he seemed to find comfort in your place. You nodded slowly, and you crossed your arms after his honesty caught you off guard. โYou can live here if you need a place, okay? As long as you need,โ you replied, and a small smile formed on your face when you realized he trusted you more than anyone else. Andrew took that offer literally, but he didnโt actually sleep at your place. He just showed up out of the blue because he barely slept at all, and he usually spent the night sitting on your couch watching TV. Sometimes you caught him watching you sleep, but you just closed your eyes again, because you knew he didnโt rest easily, and you wanted to act like it didnโt bother you.
This set up lasted for a while, where he split his time between your place and Smurfโs house. You eventually learned that the day he went over to the Cody house after his release was the exact same day he saw J in person, because Julia died. Andrew had panicked, and he ran straight to your workplace, before he stood there completely silent until your shift was over. He waited until both of you were back inside your home before he finally explained the situation. You also found out about his complicated feelings for Cath when you accidentally overheard them talking during a party at Smurfโs house. You actually discovered his obsession with her way back when you visited him in prison, but you honestly thought he stopped feeling that way, because you were the one who always showed up for him while he was behind bars.
Hearing them together made you realize those attachments didnโt just disappear. You didnโt feel threatened by his attachment to her, but the situation bothered you enough to start a burning rage in your stomach. Cath pushed him away immediately after that conversation, and her rejection actually made you happy when Andrew turned to you for support. He showed up much more often to seek a quiet place and peace of mind. You brushed his hand when he ranted about how Smurf hated Cath, and you secretly loved that Smurf despised her. It ruined his chances of seeing Lena often, but it kept him coming back to your door. You tried offering comforting words to ease his irritation, but you never really knew whether he was really listening to you. What actually surprised you was one of your conversations that made you two a little more vulnerable with each other.
โYou shouldnโt be helping me. Iโm not a good person,โ Andrew muttered, before he stared at his knuckles, and he looked up at your face. โItโs nothing that I canโt handle, since Iโve been hurt by worse before,โ you whispered, and you squeezed his knuckles to keep his attention on you. He leaned closer to your face after you admitted those details from your past. โWho did that to you?โ Andrew asked, and he gripped your wrist protectively when his face darkened. โThatโs been taken care of,โ you replied, while you held his gaze to reassure him. โTaken care of?โ Andrew repeated, and he narrowed his eyes when he didnโt understand your meaning. โIt just means he wonโt ever hurt anyone again,โ you murmured, and you leaned forward to kiss his cheek before he could ask more questions. Andrew didnโt say the realization out loud, but he stopped watching your movements when he finally understood that the person from your past was dead.
Andrew opened up to you during a hard time, and honestly, you somehow became his therapist a little with all the listening you do, but Smurfโs control over him ran much deeper, because sheโs his mother. Thatโs why he never mentioned a word about her telling him that Cath is talking to the police against their family, and the only thing Andrew believed in was protecting them at all costs. Thatโs also why you didnโt expect his late-night phone call telling you to come to Bazโs house immediately. You walked straight inside, because they left the front door completely unlocked, and you entered the bedroom, before you stopped at the sight of him completely naked, while he wrapped up Cathโs dead body in sheets.
โWhat the fuck happened?โ you curse out, and you realize itโs the second time youโve become an accessory to a murder by the Codys. Andrew looked like heโd break down completely right in front of you. โS-she made me do itโฆ Smurf said- She said sheโs going to talk to the cops,โ Andrew whispered, and his voice cracked. โI-I didnโt want to go back to prison,โ Andrew adds m, and his fingers twitched at his sides from the stress. You took a deep breath to calm yourself, because you sure knew as hell that killing someone is going to land him back in a cell, but you didnโt say that out loud. A burning anger filled your stomach as you stared at the bed. โYou fucked her,โ you said, and you laughed completely without humor, when the truth made your chest tighten.
โYou actually killed her while youโre having sex with her?โ you demanded, and you stepped closer to him. โYou had your hands all over her,โ you said, and you dug your fingernails into the palms of your hands. โWere you inside her when you choked her, or did you wait until you finished?โ you snapped, and the disgust made your voice shake. Andrew avoided your eyes as he breathed raggedly, and he pulled at his hair with frustration. โI had to find a way to get close to her,โ Andrew mumbled, before you cut him off. โShut up,โ you whispered fiercely, and you shoved his chest to stop his excuses. โJust shut up and dress up, so you can clean your mess,โ you ordered, and you pointed at Cath.
You looked around the messy room, but you kept your voice quiet for the kid down the hall. โWhat do you want me to do?โ you asked, after you took another look at him. โWatch Lena, because Baz wonโt be back tonight,โ Andrew answered, and he fumbled blindly with his shirt when his hands trembled too much to guide the fabric. You placed your hand on his chest to force him to listen to you. โI donโt see a thing,โ you whispered, as you felt his chest thumping hard against your palm. โI wasnโt here, so clean this up,โ you added, before you walked out of the room to check on the child. You watched over Lena until he returned to the house later that night, and you went straight back to your apartment afterward.
The entire nightmare kept your mind racing for hours, and it didnโt let you sleep a single wink, but what's worse is that everything that happened didnโt end in that bedroom, because everything turned completely messed up after Cath disappeared. The first few days without her were brutal for Andrew, while Baz fell apart and started neglecting Lena. Smurf made sure it looked like Cath just packed up and ran away from them, because she wanted the family to think she was an informant. Only Smurf and Andrew knew the actual truth, but now you are carrying that burden too. Yet, the family business didnโt stop just because she disappeared, and you werenโt stupid about how things worked.
Andrew had small slip-ups when he spoke to you, and you pieced it together until you understood the full picture. Thatโs why Lena was left needing a place to sleep for the night when a new job came up, and all the Codys had to leave for the night. Smurf always called you after your shift ended, and she invited you over to the house to watch the kid. You only agreed to do it to help out with Lena, but this evening is different from the rest. You waited until the little girl went to sleep before you finally confronted the older woman in the kitchen. โDid you make him do it?โ you whispered, as you stood by the counter, and you gripped the edge of it just to help yourself to be still respectful. Smurf didnโt admit to a single thing, but she looked right back at you without an ounce of regret for her plan.
โWell, I have to look out for my boys, donโt I?โ Smurf asked, while she poured herself a drink, and she didnโt show a single bit of guilt for what happened to Cath. It wasnโt hard to understand the idea she planted in your head, because protecting your own never felt complicated to you. You know that the tension within the family never really stopped after Cathโ being gone and it doesnโt help you that Smurf showed up at your place unexpectedly one evening, but she only did it to discuss the ongoing trouble with Baz. You assumed the issue was just the way he neglected Lena, since Andrew spent most of his days watching over the little girl anyway. You didnโt fully understand why she chose to confide all of this in you, but your deep attachment to Andrew made you completely vulnerable in her eyes.
โBaz stole from us,โ Smurf stated, as she stood by your kitchen counter to watch your face for an immediate reaction. โHe took eight million in cash and jewelry,โ she added, to reveal the full scale of the theft. You stared directly back at her because the number didnโt make any sense in your head. โEight million?โ you asked, and you leaned against the edge of the table to process everything. โIsnโt he basically your son?โ you added, when the reality of the situation made your stomach twist. Smurf completely ignored your question about her relationship with Baz, because she had a different goal in mind. โIโm terrified for my boys, especially Andrew,โ Smurf explained, and she maintained eye contact to make you feel how concerning the situation is.
She paused briefly before she continued. โHe needs a stable life after spending so many years in prison,โ she added, to justify her fear. You just gave her a nod because you cared about Andrewโs safety too much to ignore what Baz did. โI always tell you that I protect my family,โ Smurf murmured, to remind you what sheโs willing to do. She stopped to let everything sink in before she spoke again. โBut Iโm truly frightened about what happens if Andrew finds out,โ she whispered, to emphasize her words. You listened quietly, and you knew how fragile Andrewโs mental state could be. โFind out what?โ you asked, and you bit the inside of your cheek. โHeโll find out exactly what his brother did to this family,โ Smurf answered, and she shook her head with a look of exhaustion.
โAndrew breaks so easily when people betray him, and you wouldnโt want him hurt,โ Smurf added, while she played directly on your protective instincts. โNoโฆ I- I donโt want anyone hurting him,โ you stuttered, as you crossed your arms over your chest. The older woman nodded slowly, and she knew she could successfully control you through playing with your feelings about Andrew. โI think Baz already knows that Andrewโs the reason Cath disappeared,โ Smurf whispered, and she watched the horrified reaction from the sudden realization. A sudden panic filled your mind because Andrew couldnโt survive another prison sentence. โAndrew canโt go back to jail, you know that. He absolutely canโt die if Baz decides to seek revenge next,โ Smurf warned, and her tone grew completely serious.
You didnโt even stop to analyze if sheโs fucking with your head, because your protective instincts took total control over your brain. โWhat do we need to do?โ you demanded, and you stepped right up to her to show your loyalty. Smurf didnโt offer an explanation or an actual choice because she simply expected total obedience from you. โI need you to take care of this problem for us,โ Smurf commanded, before she reached into her handbag to pull out a gun. Her words infected your mind after that, and you buried yourself in coffee and double shifts at the diner, before they could spread any further. You didnโt just plan to shoot Baz right then and there, because a thing like that needed to be planned out properly.
It made you tag along more with Andrew when heโs taking care of Lena to check Bazโs place, and you spent hours working out how you could possibly do it without getting caught or killed. He's still a man after all, and you have to think about the strength difference if he caught you, but you also had Lena to consider in the situation. You had to do it when she wasnโt in the house. Smurf already told you that the gun wouldnโt trace back to you, and she promised the bullets would shatter on impact. She offered you fifty grand because you were friends with Pope, but you didnโt accept it because it wasnโt a job for you. The whole thing felt personal, and you were willing to go to any lengths for him. Andrew walked into your kitchen later that evening, and he stood right behind you without making a sound.
โYou didnโt answer my texts,โ he muttered when he pressed his chest near your back, because he absolutely hated when you ignored him. You wiped down the exact same spot on the tiles again, just to give yourself something to do. โIโm sorryโฆ My shifts at the diner ran late,โ you answered, and you threw the dirty rag into the sink. He didnโt move away, but he just leaned in closer, until his breath warmed your shoulder. โSmurf said you talked to her,โ he whispered, while he watched you from right behind your ear. You swallowed hard because you couldnโt let him find out what you were planning for his family. โWe just talked about Lena,โ you lied, and licked your lip just to support yourself from taking a deep breath, since heโs too close.
He always did this kind of thing, where he invaded your personal space and then acted like he never did it at all. His hand brushed your hip for a second, and his knee kept touching behind your knee, while he talked like he didnโt even notice it. โArenโt you supposed to be at your house tonight?โ you asked him when you looked over your shoulder to remind him of his schedule. You disguised the question as the exact topic Smurf brought up earlier, since Andrew had to watch Lena tonight, after Baz left her there for errands. Itโs the same night you plan to kill Baz, so you need Pope out of your place tonight, before you lose your mind and back out of everything. He gripped your waist before he took a step back from you.
โI just want to know what you talked about with Smurf,โ Pope muttered, and he knows that she never came to your place for no reason. You smiled at him before you made up an excuse why he needed to leave right away. โI actually have a guy coming over in a little bit,โ you lied, then you forced out a chuckle like it wasnโt a big deal. He didnโt take the bait immediately, since he never saw you with a guy before, and the comment visibly threw him off. He looked bothered for a second, but he simply nodded. โOkay,โ Andrew whispered, and he kept looking at you like he was trying to figure out if you were lying to him. โIโll see you tomorrow, Pope,โ you said, as you grabbed his arm to walk him straight to the door, before he could ask more questions.
You pushed him out into the hallway and secured the door after he left, and then you started pacing around the room. You tried not to think too hard about what youโre about to do tonight, but you kept checking the clock. You also checked your phone every few minutes, even though no one had texted you. You kept debating whether to do it because a massive panic was clouding your mind. If you back out now, then someone else will take the job, and you already know who ordered it. You feel terrified that if you donโt go through with it tonight, Smurf will just kill you too, because you know too much already. But pacing around benefits you to suddenly have a fuck-it moment, before you change your clothes into a black hoodie, so it will be harder to identify you later if anyone saw you.
It comes with plain black pants and shoes that wouldnโt stand out, but you also have a cap with no design that people could possibly remember. You kept the gun hidden in the waistband of your pants and walked with your head down while taking the route you already memorized. You chose that specific path because you learned which places had CCTV cameras along the route from your place to Bazโs house. You made sure to enter from the back, where it was darker, so nobody noticed you sneaking around, because entering from the front is dangerous for you. You saw that Baz was just about to leave with Lucy, and they were just talking inside the car, when you stood in front of it to start shooting right through the glass.
You were no expert, and your hands shook the whole time, but you managed to shoot him four times in his chest before he tried to run after you. Baz never screamed or even said anything when the bullets went through him. That made everything feel worse, because the only sounds around you were the gunshots going off one after another, and your own breathing when you finally turned around to run. He collapsed on the ground before he could catch you, because the gunshots made him weak. Lucy was in shock but not screaming, and you were already running for your life. He tried to shoot you back while you ran, but the bullet never fully touched you. It only grazed your side, but it was painful enough to make you bleed, and the adrenaline helped you run harder.
Your first instinct was to run straight back to your place, even though you knew it was stupid. Your plan was supposed to involve rerouting somewhere public, like a bar, so that you would have an alibi. Getting shot changed everything, though, because you couldnโt go to a hospital. You were hiding, and you were basically considered a missing person anyway, so a medical visit would alert the authorities that youโve been found. You bled and panicked while your brain went through every single what-if scenario. You worried if the graze is something they can catch, that itโs from a gun, or if the police would get involved immediately if you decided to go to the hospital. You abandoned the thought of running to Smurf, because your safety didnโt exist there, so you headed toward your own place, even though thatโs the dumbest idea you have right now.
You could hear the gunshots, even though the neighborhood houses were entirely silent, and it messes with your head because part of you knows they already stopped, but your body still reacts like theyโre right behind you. Itโs like youโre having a mental breakdown from it, and it just makes you doubt your own senses. How could someone just pull the trigger, and then thereโs nothing after that but silence? Itโs making you crazy, and youโre not even like this the first time you did it. His dying face keeps popping in your head the entire time you run without stopping, and you hate how clear it is, like your brain is refusing to take it out. You just let your feet guide you back until you reach your place, but your fingers tremble so badly that finding the keys under the mat takes forever.
This frustrates you to the point that you think someone is standing right behind your shoulder, but it is completely empty when you look back, and it almost makes you feel shit because nothing is actually there. You turned the lock fast when you got inside, then you immediately slammed your back against the wood because your legs felt so tired from running, and you realized you had been holding your breath the entire time without noticing. You yanked the hoodie over your head and stepped out of your shoes, but thereโs a small tear where the graze is, and blood from the wound sticks to the hoodie. You stared down at the wound without feeling any panic, because you literally looked at how bad it is, and how fast it will heal, like it refuses to accept what just happened fully.
You can tell that the damage is something you can tolerate and manage after you touch the area directly, and the pain makes you flinch. The pain snapped back at reality, since you realized you could walk fine, and you just needed to clean it up fast, as if you could erase what happened. A hospital visit was out of the question, since you werenโt stupid enough to walk into an emergency room while living as a missing person, and that means you are completely on your own. Your thoughts keep returning to the CCTV cameras, and you picture the car's glass shattering as Lucy watches it all unfold. The fact that Baz never made a sound replays in your head until silence starts replaying louder than the actual gunshots.
Your thoughts started piling up instead of calming down, which showed that you needed a distraction before you completely lost it. You paced across the floorboards while wearing nothing but your bra and pants. The blood keeps dripping from your wound, and every step feels like youโre trying to outrun what you just did. Leaving the apartment risked being seen by neighbors, but waiting here meant risking the police arriving, and neither option is ideal. Nothing felt right, but being here felt worse, and your feet kept walking around anyway. You refused to dial Andrewโs number out of terror that he would discover the truth, but the longer you avoid it, the more your body refuses to stop moving, so you keep pacing around your place.
You donโt even know that itโs been over an hour since you left the strand, but you couldnโt care less about it, or the fact that youโre half naked in just your bra and pants. Your hand reaches into your pocket to check your phone again, even though nobody has called, and the wound on your shoulder hurts without you doing anything bad to it. The only thing that made you stop right in the middle of the room was a sudden three loud bangs on your front door that made your breath catch. โOpen up,โ Andrew orders from the other side, and you can hear his voice through the door. You donโt take a step because he isnโt supposed to know anything, and he definitely isnโt supposed to be outside your place right now. โI know it was you, so just open the door,โ Andrew snaps after you donโt answer right away, but then he bangs on the door again with his fist.
You press your palms against your sides to keep your hands from shaking after hearing him outside. โYou think I donโt know what happened?โ Andrew murmurs, and then he kicks the door until it rattles. The loud noise makes your stomach twist since it brings back the sound of the gunshots from earlier, and you canโt have him waking up the whole building. โOPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!โ Andrew yells, and he sounds completely out of patience now. You finally walk over to turn the lock quickly because you need him to stop making a scene. โPope, you need to l-leave,โ you whisper as you pull the door open just a few inches, but your voice cracks on the last word. He doesnโt look at your face because the blood on your skin catches his attention. โYouโre bleeding,โ Andrew says, and he pushes right past you without asking for permission.
You take a step back, but he walks forward toward you as if he doesnโt care about giving you space. โItโs just a little graze, and you canโt be here right now,โ you mumble after you try to block his path, but he keeps walking toward you. โBaz did that to you?โ Andrew asks before he turns around to slam the door shut and lock it. He steps right back into your space until heโs standing too close. He stares at the blood on your shoulder as he tries to see how bad it is before he looks right into your eyes. โYou actually went out there and shot him? You put bullets in Baz?โ he asks while his hands twitch at his sides. You stare right back at his eyes as if youโre speaking through them because you want him to see your honesty.
โDonโt look at me like that, donโt use that tone with me like Iโm a monster when I did what needed to be done,โ you snap as you take a small step back. Andrew shakes his head since he canโt process the words. โYou killed him. He was my brother,โ he mutters before he steps closer. He lunges forward to grab your jaw so he can force your head up, and donโt flinch at the way he holds you. You instantly match his aggression with your hand clamping around his wrist, and your nails dig deep into his skin until he bleeds. โYeah, I did it, and Iโm not going to lie to you about it when itโs done,โ you whisper as you stare right into his face. Andrew refuses to let go of your face, so his fingers dig deeper into your flesh just to make it hurt.
โWhy would you touch him? You donโt touch my family,โ he angrily says while he glares at you, and you grip his bleeding wrist more roughly to make sure he listens to you. โBecause he knew about Cath, Andrew! He knew what you did to her, and he was going to use it to destroy you!โ you shout as you try to shake him off. You feel his fingers slip slightly against your skin, and see him suddenly flinch at the name before he drops his hand. Andrew steps back a bit after he releases your face. โStop. Donโt say her name. Donโt you talk about Cath right now,โ he snaps while he stares at the floor. He looks completely unstable right now, and you can see his shoulders rise with every breath. You walk toward him anyway since you need him to hear you.
โWhy? Because your brother was ready to put you in a cell for the rest of your life?โ you demand, but he just shakes his head. โHe wouldnโt do that. He wouldnโt do that to me,โ he mumbles while he stares at the ground, but he sounds like heโs talking to himself more than he is talking to you. โHe absolutely would! I had to protect you because nobody else was doing anything!โ you yell as your frustration grows because you want to shake some sense into him before he ruins everything. Andrew looks back up at you, and you can see the way his expression turned furious, but he also looks pitiful right now. โYou donโt touch him. You donโt touch a Cody,โ he repeats, and his voice drops, but he steps back into your space until you can feel the warmth from his skin.
โAnd I kept you alive by doing it! Do you think he wouldโve hesitated to hand you over to the cops?โ you mutter because youโre tired of fighting this thing about him when he doesnโt listen to what you say to him. You want him to see that you put yourself in danger for his sake, but he doesnโt. โYou donโt know anything about us,โ he reminds you as he leans closer, and you refuse to back away from him even though heโs angry. โI know youโre free right now. I took the risk so you wouldnโt rot in prison!โ Your voice rises, and you want him to understand your sacrifice. โI know exactly what I did. You should be thanking me instead of acting like I ruined everything,โ you add because you need him to see it, but Andrew only makes a frustrated noise.
โThank you? You want me to thank you for killing him?โ he demands while his chest rises then falls. He looks around the place like he wants to escape the conversation. โHe stole eight million dollars from Smurf! Is that what you call family? If he wasnโt going to put you in jail, then he was sure as hell going to kill you for what happened to Cath,โ you scream because youโre completely done with his defense of Baz. He doesnโt say a single word back to you and just stares at you like he wants to kill you. โDid Smurf make you do it?โ he asks, and he takes another step into your space. You look right back at him, and you want him to snap out of it, but he just looks completely lost. โNo,โ you answer quickly, since you need him to know this was your choice alone.
He grabs your arm before you can walk away. โShe tells people to do things,โ he said while his fingers dig into your skin. โShe tells you what to do?โ he asks, and he watches you try to yank your arm back. The way he grips you is actually painful, but he refuses to let go. โShe didnโt-โ you start to say before he cuts you off instantly. โShe didnโt just what? Say the words,โ he demands right in your face. โLet go of me,โ you order as you glare up at him. โNo,โ Andrew snaps, and he leans even closer. โDid she pay you?โ he asks while his eyes look at your face for a lie. He looks at you like you are a complete stranger now. โShe always buys people. She bought you,โ he accuses you, and he also sounds like heโs having a hard time believing it, but his anger blindsides him.
โNo,โ you whisper, and you shake your head because you wouldnโt accept it even if she offered you money. โHow much? Donโt lie to me,โ he presses about it again. His repeated questions made you snap completely, and you slapped him across the face with everything you had. The loud noise fills the room before you grab his collar. You aggressively slam him backward against the nearest wall to finally establish some control. โIโm not lying,โ you whisper while you keep him pinned against it, even though he could easily push you off, but he didnโt. Andrew stares at you in shock, but the anger never leaves his expression, and he does not try to let go. โI protect them,โ he explains, and he glares at your hands that are holding his collar.
โThatโs what I do,โ he says before he tries to lean forward. You push him harder against the wall since he is being completely blind to the truth. โWhoโs going to protect you, hm? You werenโt protecting yourself,โ you said right back at him, and hope he realizes that heโs always the one being pushed into violence. โI know what he was going to do to you, and I handled it! Iโm the only one who actually cares if you live,โ you add while you refuse to let go of his collar. He stares at you, and he couldnโt believe what heโs hearing. โYou didnโt do me a favor,โ he mutters before he shakes his head just to show he doesnโt need you. โI did what was necessary,โ you justify yourself, and you refuse to let him make you feel guilty.
Andrew looks down at you from your face to your shoulder for a second before his eyes go back to yours. โYouโre bleeding from it, and you want me to thank you for this?โ he asks while he shakes his head. You drop your hands from his shirt and take a step back. โWhy shouldnโt you thank me?โ you ask, and you couldnโt believe what you just heard. You gesture between the two of you, as if you're trying to prove a point. โYouโre breathing right nowโฆ Youโre free because of what I did tonight,โ you point out, since he needs to face reality. โYouโre insane,โ he couldnโt believe he would say this to another person because he would admit that he never sees another person as insane as him. Andrew pushes himself off the wall and scoffs. You refuse to let him escape the conversation, so you step right back into his path.
โI killed him so you wouldnโt die in jail. Is that hard to understand?โ you point out, and your throat hurts from all the back-and-forth argument. โI took the blood on my hands so you wouldnโt lose your entire life!โ you finish, but he just glares at you before he walks toward the door, but he looks like heโs hesitating to leave. โYou donโt get to touch a single one of us,โ he warns as he turns his head to look back at you. You follow him immediately because you are not done yet. โWell, I already did,โ you snap while you block his path. โI made the choice to save you from your own brother. Now youโre treating me like this,โ you finish, and Andrew stands by the door in silence for a few seconds before he suddenly snaps.
โYou had no right!โ he shouted in your face to make you feel that you hurt him. โYou donโt just get to murder Baz and stand there waiting for me to be grateful,โ he adds before he slams his palm over your bullet graze, and his fingers dig into the open wound. He digs his fingers into the wound to make it bleed, and it hurts like a bitch, especially when heโs being rough with it. Thatโs what made you punch his chest hard until he stumbled back. โThatโs exactly what I expect!โ Your voice rises before you grab your own shoulder. Blood drips down your arm, but you ignore it because you need him to understand your choices. โI expect you to see the risk I took to keep you safe!โ you add since you refuse to back down.
โYouโre out of your mind,โ he mutters, and he looks at you like youโre completely unrecognizable to him before he takes a step back. โNo, Iโm just honest about it, Pope. Itโs the only real loyalty youโve ever had,โ you snap because you hate seeing him act like the victim here and step closer to him so you can look him right in the eye. โYouโre not a Cody,โ he said as he stepped right back into your space and glared at you with pure hatred. You chuckle at his words because, thank god, you are not a Cody. โYou donโt get to do nothing for me!โ he spits before his chest presses against yours with how close you are to each other. You refuse to back away from him, so you hold your ground to make him face the truth of the situation.
โBut youโre here, arenโt you? Youโre free, and youโre breathing because I handled the problem,โ you point out, since he would be in prison otherwise. All the anger suddenly drains right out of his face after he hears that. โHe was my brother,โ he whispers before he looks away from you. You take a step closer to him because you want him to face the truth. โAnd he was going to kill you too,โ you whisper as you watch his expression change, but you didnโt even get to react when he moved to reach you. Andrew grabs your shoulders and shoves you backward across the room. Your back bangs against the wall before his large hands instantly wrap around your throat to pin you in place. He squeezes your neck roughly, but not rough enough to make you pass out.
You donโt even try to scratch his arms, and you just look right into his eyes. A breathless laugh escapes your lips. โYou w-wanted- this t-too- Pope... donโt lie to yourself,โ you choke out while a smile spreads across your face. โShut your mouth,โ he said, and you will try to piss him off at this point if he wonโt listen to you. Andrew hates the truth youโre forcing on him because he refuses to believe that Baz will come into that, but he doesnโt know what to think about him anymore after what he did to Cath. Air feels hard to get with his hands wrapped around your neck, but you force yourself to speak anyway. โIf you d-didnโtโฆ want him dead- you wouldโve already ki- killed me, but Iโm breathing right now,โ you mutter after you gasp for breath.
Your words make him completely lose his mind, and his fingers squeeze harder into your neck until you cough. He leans his entire body into you, and his face is only inches from yours. โI donโt want to hear about it,โ he dismisses you, but heโs still here and not walking away or making you shut up for good. โWeโre the same, Pope... I would kill for you,โ you whisper while you stare right back at him. Andrew stares at you with anger, and you can see it in his dilated pupils. People might think that he looks like a monster, but you arenโt afraid of him. โI will kill you,โ he said right into your face, and you could feel hot breath against your skin. You donโt back down from his threat because you know he wonโt do it. โThen do it!โ you laugh when you look right into his eyes.
You lift your hand and wrap it around the back of his neck to push his face down until your lips touch his. You guide the kiss, but he hesitates to move his mouth against yours. You push your neck harder into his palm to provoke him after what he said. He moves his face back suddenly because your lack of fear confuses him. โMmgh... do it,โ you moan against his mouth when his fingers squeeze your throat. You look right into his eyes and smile up at him. โKill me, it wonโt be hard,โ you whisper in a soft voice before he loses his mind completely. Andrew pushes his mouth against yours again and moves both of you away from the wall. His left hand leaves your neck, but his other hand still presses his fingers against it.
He kisses you like heโs furious about how much he wants right now. His tongue forces its way past your lips while your fingers dig into his shoulders for balance. Andrew walks you backward toward your bedroom while he kisses you with total aggression. His free hand reaches around to the clasp of your bra. He unhooks the fabric before he slides the straps off your shoulders. โFuck... Pope,โ you mutter against his cheek when your feet trip over something. He catches your waist to stop you from falling, but his mouth doesnโt leave yours for a single second. Your left hand leaves his shoulder to slip it under the hem of his shirt before you drag your palm over his skin and caress his warm stomach.
Andrewโs mouth keeps moving against yours, but he guides your steps backward until the back of your knee touches the bed frame. He pulls his face away from yours, suddenly just to stare at your body. โMust be your first time with a woman since prison,โ you mock him with your chin tilt up. He glares right at you before his hand leaves your neck to grope your breast roughly. โFeels nice, huh?โ you taunt him while you watch his jaw twitch. He ignores your teasing words, and his thumb encircles your nipple. โShut up,โ he grunts before he pinches it hard. โMfffh... fuck,โ you moan out, and you immediately bite your lip. Andrew smirks for a brief second, but he scowls again almost instantly. His hand leaves your chest to move down to your stomach before his fingers find the waistband of your pants.
โOh, wait, I forgot about Cath,โ you mock him when his hand pauses, and you look straight at his face, and you smirk. โYou already fucked her after you got out, but this is so much better, isnโt it?โ You taunt him before his fingers unbutton your pants, and he unzips them so he can tug the fabric down your hips. You push the rest of the pants past your knees and kick them away. His hands grab the bottom of his shirt, and you watch him pull the fabric over his head. โYou look good, Pope,โ you compliment him while you look at his chest. You hook your fingers into his waistband to pull him closer to you, and he places his hands on your waist. You press a kiss on his neck when he tilts his head to let you, and you bite his skin until you get a metallic taste before you suck the same spot.
โFuck- donโt do that,โ he grunts while his fingers graze your hips. โWhy would I? You like it,โ you tease him as you feel his palms caress your skin, and you can tell he enjoys it by the way his hands touch your waist. โI donโt like getting marked,โ he mutters as his fingers twitch against your skin. You chuckle at his words, and you bite his neck again to give him a hickey to show how stubborn you can be when you want something. He groans into your ear, and his hands slide right inside your panties to grope your ass. โTake it off,โ you whisper while you nod to challenge him, and he shoves your shoulders to push you back onto the mattress. You hook both of your fingers on the waistband of your panties as if youโre going to strip, but slap your thigh before he leans over to drag the underwear off your legs himself.
He sneakily shoves your panties into the back pocket of his pants before he steps away. He unbuttons it before he pulls it off, along with his boxer briefs. You take a deep breath when you watch him wrap his hand around his cock to stroke it. โYou look like youโve never seen one before,โ he said after he caught you staring. โDonโt flatter yourself,โ you mock him back, and you guide him closer with your feet. Andrew crawls onto the bed to get right between your legs and doesnโt look around for protection as if heโs ready to be a father. You watch him drag the tip of his cock against your slit, but he doesnโt push it inside yet. He keeps rubbing the head of his shaft against your clit until he can see it pulse.
โYouโre going to buy me a morning-after pill if you want to do this without a condom,โ you taunt him when you tilt your pelvis up to meet him. His lips part slightly after he hears what you said, but his hand didnโt stop holding your thigh. โIโll take care of it,โ he grunts, and his palm presses into your leg. โYeah?โ you question him as you stare back at his face. He nods once, and he guides his tip right to your entrance, but doesnโt move for a moment so that he can stare at you. You open your legs wider for him, and you can feel yourself getting wetter each second you wait for him. โYou want a little Pope?โ you tease him, and you watch his eyes express something that you canโt figure out. Your comment does something to his body that he canโt explain, and he doesnโt give an answer, but he leans forward.
โI- I think you want it- mhm,โ you moan out when he slowly slides his entire cock inside your wet cunt. He plants his hands on the mattress beside your head, and he usually avoids looking at women during intimacy, but he faces you anyway before he buries his face in your neck just to hide how he feels. He always made them take him from the back, or he forced them to look away before his time in prison. His mind always went back to it, but heโs actually taken aback when he doesnโt want you to do the same, or at least he doesnโt imagine that itโs Cath heโs fucking with right now. Especially that the last time he had sex was right before he killed her, so genuinely surprised that he can do this with you without her memory haunting his thoughts.
His cock pulls out, and you wrap your arms around his back before digging your nails into his skin when he thrusts it deeply. โMfffh- fuck,โ you gasp out when his length fills your cunt. Thereโs intense guilt eating him up despite how good it feels while he fucks you. He canโt help but think that this is the exact same night Baz died, and he knows youโre the person who killed his brother, yet his anger completely disappears just being inside you. He finds himself pathetic for letting your body blindside him like this. โYouโre t-too- deepโฆโ You whisper, and he moves faster instead of slowing down. โY-You-โ he chokes out after your cunt clenches around him, and his hand sneaks between your bodies before his fingers play with your chest. You grab his chin to make him look you straight in the eye. โWatch what youโre doing to me,โ you whisper after you pull his head up.
He let out a ragged breath, and his palms gripped the mattress beside your ears. He squeezes your breast until you gasp, and what you said makes him thrust deeper into your cunt. You wrap your legs around his waist to hold him close, and heโs completely determined to get a reaction out of you after you told him to watch you. โNgh- never look away,โ you moan loudly, and he knows that this is something he needs to remember. He grunts against your skin, and he keeps looking right at you. He lowers his head down to your chest, and he sucks on your nipple while he looks right at your face. He nurses on you as if he hopes something will drop from your skin so he can drink it. This eagerness makes you completely wet, and you feel how desperately he wants you.
His palm squeezes your other breast before his fingers pinch your nipple. He handles your body like he wants to put a baby inside of you just because he wants to drink from your breast. โMmm... maybe we can have a little Pope,โ you tease him, and your hips tilt up to meet his thick cock. โThatโs only if you donโt kill me in bed like what you did to her,โ you whisper, and you watch his expression completely change. He immediately bites your nipple after hearing that, and his hand moves up from your chest to your neck, and he applies enough pressure to make it hard for you to breathe. He chokes you a little harder, but he keeps thrusting deep into your cunt without stopping. โH-how did you do it?โ you choked out as you stared up at him.
โDid you use your hands or a pillow?โ you question him before you smile right into his angry face. Your cunt pulses around his shaft while his hand keeps a tight wrap around your neck. โI know you wonโt kill me, Pope,โ you gasp out, and his hips grind down against yours. Andrew takes his mouth away from your nipple before he leans closer to your face. โHow do you know that?โ he murmurs as he hovers right above you. His question made you, and your hand reached up to hold his jaw. You know it because you can feel his hand relax against your throat right now. Sure, his fingers are still wrapped around your neck, but it doesnโt do anything, and heโs not even choking you. That just proves that he has plenty of chances to hurt you, but he never finishes it.
Heโs just all talk, and youโre not even scared to show him how you feel about that, and youโre not going to back down, even if heโs leaning down closer until your noses almost touch. โAh- ngh- you like this too much,โ you gasp out while his cock keeps sliding deep inside you, and you stroke his cheek as you stare up at him. โCath would never let you do this, you know? She was terrified of you, but I am not,โ you taunt him, and you feel his jaw clenches under your palm because you know exactly how to bait him. โShe would not want you like I do,โ you mock him when, before you, purposely squeeze yourself around him. His free hand moves down your side after what you said upset him, and his fingers find the fresh gunshot graze on your skin. He digs his nails right into the open wound, and you cry out from the sudden pain.
You pull your hand back from his jaw to slap him across the face, and then your fingers slide straight into his hair to guide his head down to see if heโll actually kiss you. He stops moving for a second when your mouths almost touch, but he refuses to pull away. The two of you are really crazy and perfect for each other, with the way you respond to one another that no normal people would. He stares into your eyes while his hips keep grinding against yours, and breathes out against your lips before he passionately kisses you. His tongue slides inside your lips when you part them, then he licks your tongue. The way he kisses you makes you clench your cunt around his cock, and that makes him suck on your lower lip until it gets swollen. Andrew moves his mouth away from your lips, and he looks down at them before his thumb slips right between your teeth.
You suck on his skin almost immediately while your cunt squeezes around his cock. โYouโre such a freak,โ he mutters out loud, and he didnโt even realize he really said it because heโs just thinking of it. His other hand grips your waist to keep you pinned down against the mattress. His comment makes you lick his thumb while you stare right back at him, and he tries to ignore what youโre doing, but he thrusts deeper into you anyway. โDonโt bring her up again,โ he said because heโs getting sick of you bringing her up multiple times, and he wants your attention on him instead of Cath. He isnโt actually angry, but he gets annoyed by how stubborn you act when the only thing on his mind is how good your wet pussy feels around his shaft.
You make a soft noise against his finger before you bite down gently on his skin. Pope breathes fast through his nose, and his fingers dig into your waist. โY-you... you feel good,โ he grunts out with frustration because he didnโt even want to say it. Itโs an unexpectedly sweet compliment, but it makes you gasp right before he takes his thumb out of your mouth. โNngh- do I?โ you tease him after his hips push deep into you. He doesnโt answer you, but he hides his face deep in the valley of your chest before he scrapes his teeth over your skin, and he sucks on it. His free hand squeezes your breast right after. You honestly find him adorable. โHaah- Pope,โ you gasp out when your hands slide up his spine to caress his sweaty back.
The way heโs thrusting inside you made you shut your eyes. Your fingernails dig into his skin to scratch it whenever his cock reaches a deep spot inside your cunt. Your toes curl from the pleasure building up in your lower stomach. โHah- I-Iโm getting so close,โ you whisper after you feel his cock throb right against your walls. โY-you are?โ he breathes out in surprise, but he finishes quicker than you when he suddenly cums inside you. It has really been months since his last time, and he doesnโt touch himself, so it made him fill your cunt a lot. He keeps thrusting deep inside you, but he slows down until his hips stop moving for a few moments before he pushes back in. You feel completely full from his size, and all the release he gave inside you makes his cock slide into your cunt much easier.
You realize he is crying, and you feel your chest grow wet from his tears. Andrew is completely overwhelmed, and it shows with the way his hand keeps holding your breast, but his other hand canโt stay in one place. โMmm- itโs okay, Pope,โ you soothe him softly when your fingers play with his hair to make him look up at you. You kiss the top of his head before you guide his face into the crook of your neck, and the room feels hot tonight, so the sweat from both of you makes your skin stick against his chest. You search for his hands on the mattress to intertwine your fingers, but he ignores your attempt, and instead, he grabs your wrists to pin your arms above your head instead. The squelching sound of his cock sliding inside your cunt is all you can hear right now, besides the squeaking of the bed.
โGod- Pope, I-Iโm getting really close,โ you gasp out after his hips thrust to bury himself deep inside you again. He bites down on your neck before he lifts his upper body to hover over you, since he refuses to hide his face so he can look directly at you. The sound of his pelvis slamming against your thighs echoes across the bedroom while overwhelming pleasure builds in your lower stomach. Andrew watches the way your eyes roll back, and it shows exactly how close you are to finishing. He thinks about how you look so fucking good from taking everything he can give to you, and he just wants to watch you cum for him. Your chest heaves when you try to catch your breath, and he notices the exact moment you part your lips before you bite down on your bottom lip.
He breathes out roughly after he stares at your breasts bouncing with every single thrust. โFuc- right there- ahh,โ you whine out when he moves his hips to fuck you harder. You finally cum around his cock after a few more deep thrusts, and your toes curl while your head thrashes from side to side against the bedsheets. You feel way too exposed with the way he looks right at you, so you try to yank your hands away to cover your face, but he doesnโt let you, and he keeps your wrists pinned down. You canโt even think straight from how good he feels inside you, and it just made you turn your head to the side to hide your face since your eyes keep rolling back. โDonโt do that,โ he grunts out before he pushes deeper right through your orgasm.
You feel completely overwhelmed by his cock filling you up entirely. โMmmf- itโs- ahhn,โ you sob out, but he starts to slow down until he god satisfied enough to can stop. He doesnโt slide his cock out of your cunt right away, and squeaking from the mattress stops completely, so you only hear his loud breathing. He gets up on his knees between your legs, and his hands grip your thighs. All the sweat you made from this makes your skin stick to the bedsheets, and it feels cold against your back. You stare up at his face while you try to guess what he thinks about. โWhat are you looking at?โ you ask him when he watches you without saying anything. โNothing,โ he mumbles before he slides completely out of you.
You could feel the cold air the moment he put some distance between you. He looks down at your legs to watch his cum drip onto the bedsheets, and you just stare at it because youโre too tired to comment on it. The silence between you is too loud for his liking, so he decided to stand to look around for something to help you clean. You cross your arms over your chest since you feel too exposed wearing nothing, and you watch him search the corners of the room for a minute before you speak again. โWhat are you looking for?โ you ask him before you sit up on the mattress. He licks his lips, and he turns his head to look at you. โWhere are your towels?โ he asks you quietly while he waits for your answer. You point toward the bathroom, and you nod your head so he knows exactly where to go. You listen to the wooden drawers being opened from down the hall before he walks back into the bedroom a minute later with a fresh towel and the first aid kit.
Andrew brought it towards you, and the bed springs squeak loudly when he sits down on the edge of the mattress. He hands both items over to you because touching you to clean the cum between your legs and the blood from your wound feels way too intimate for him to handle, but heโs not an asshole just to leave you here all alone after just having sex with you. โI got these for you to use,โ he tells you softly while he looks at you. You take the things from his hands, and you notice how tense his shoulders look. He clears his throat when you donโt answer him, like a simple thank you or whatever is on your mind. Not that he wants a loud room because he hates loud spaces and people who canโt leave him alone, but being the one who initiates something as simple as giving is making him want a two-way conversation.
โTo clean yourself up and to treat the wound,โ he explains a few seconds later, because he wants you to understand why he brought them. He looks down at the wound on your skin, and his expression changes because he clearly regrets the way he hurt you earlier. You grab the first aid kit from him, and you drop a towel across your lap. You decide not to wipe the mess between your legs yet, so you just let the fabric cover your thighs instead. You unlock the plastic box to look for something to clean the dried blood that dripped on your skin. He made the cut bleed all over twice earlier when he got angry, so now youโre doing the cleaning work because of his shit, but you stop searching to look back up at him.
โYou should lick the blood out since you made it bleed,โ you tell him while you point right at the wound, and look completely thrown off by your words. He thinks youโre out of your mind even to suggest that after you provoked him and literally killed his brother, but doesnโt feel scared of you, though, and he actually likes how unhinged you act around him. Andrew stares at you with an expression you canโt figure out what heโs thinking until his jaw twitches. โSorry,โ he mutters out, but he looks like it physically hurts him to apologize. โIf you actually mean it, then you should buy me the morning-after pill,โ you tell him after you pull an alcohol wipe from the kit. He just blinks at you when he realizes he completely forgot that he fucked you raw without a condom. โWhat?โ he asks you while he tilts his head at you. You rip the small package open to take out the wipe.
โA pill,โ you state clearly, so he understands. He watches your movements closely since he looks completely lost. โDo you want me to get knocked up?โ you question him as you stare directly at his face. He watches your hands move over the wound, but he thinks getting you pregnant is exactly what he wants because a baby would permanently tie you to him. You already know way too much about his family, so getting you pregnant is the best way to stop Smurf from killing you later. He keeps those thoughts to himself and definitely wonโt ever admit them to you, though. โNo,โ he answers you quietly while he shakes his head. โIโll take care of it,โ he mumbles out as if heโs even ready to buy them right now. You stare at his back as he'd better take care of it, or else youโll take care of him permanently. But if he actually gets it done, he should know you can really take good care of him, too.
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I hope this message reaches all the neurodiverse and disabled people who were made to feel like their abuse was justified because they had "behaviors".
While this message is true for every child, you are who I had in mind when I wrote it.