collection of rp memes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"oh really? and why would i want to do that?"

"no! that's not who i am! i am none of those things"

"See, this is what I mean when I say you're shameless."

"I know what you're thinking and what you're trying to do."

"No, no! It's nothing like that! It's not what you think!"

"That's the complete opposite of what you said to me before though."

"I'm not going to change my mind. You can't take it back."

"You'll be there for me and I'll be there for you. You know?"

"That's not something I can forget so soon."

"What are you talking about? I didn't do that."

"It was all my fault! You can put all the blame on me."

"You need to learn to be careful with what you say."

"No matter how much you apologize, the damage has been done."

"We can start over! We can fix this!"

"It wasn't my intention and I'm sorry."

"I just don't think I really understand your expectations."

"How do you live with yourself, always doing that?"

"It really isn't funny if you're not being serious, you know?"

"Do it again and do it right this time."

"Just who do think you are spouting that kind of nonsense?"

"So basically you're saying that you don't think you need to apologize for anything?"

"This is me giving you an genuine apology, please believe me."

"What are you talking about? You always go on these silly little rants."

"I have no idea what you want so could you just hurry up and tell me?"

"I really don't see any point to continuing this conversation any more."

"So anyways, if you don't have anything else to say, I'm leaving."

"Wait, I have something we need to talk about."

"What?? How come I never heard of that until now?"

"I really don't care at all what disappoints you."

"So you're saying that you've already forgotten all about me?"

"You're... you're lying!"

"Well, it's not like it matters now anyways."

"Anyways, are you done having your little outbursts?"

"I'm really grateful that you're doing so much for us."

"I'm doing my best so I don't appreciate you talking to me like this."

"Your entire thought process if just wrong!"

"I just thought of a great way to solve all this."

"How do you feel about this problem?"

"I told you I don't want to get involved in pointless arguments!"

"You can't just pretend that this isn't your problem as well!"

"Stop getting so worked up over such a small problem."

"I have no idea what you're talking about... Would you please explain to me what's going on?"

"I think it's a little rude to call me over a 100 times!"

"I thought that you never wanted to see my face ever again."

"What's the matter anyway? What's the emergency?"

"If you need to tell me something you can tell me here!"

"Did you really think that something like would really work?"

"No way! You've got to be lying!"

"Would you please hold on a minute?!"

"I'm having trouble trying to process what you just told me..."

"I thought that I explained everything to you very clearly..."

"How is any of this my fault?! You decided to do this without me knowing anything."

"Yes of course, they mean different things don't they?"

"Secret!? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Well listen to your heart and think a bit more."

"I don't really mind, that's not a problem for me."

"I guess you want me to feel bitter about it, don't you?"

"Why are you suddenly talking down to me like this?!"

Silver Deliverer

"Got me wondering if I burn my plans"

"Heading for a future that I can't see"

"Making me feel lost again"

"Can I borrow your wings?"

"Can I stand on your wings?"

"Overnight, it sorta happened to me"

"It's a photo wrapped in plastic on your backseat"

"One last promise in the night"

What It Feels Like

"But I'm standing taller than I've ever been"

"I've come this far not to get this close"

"I've come too far, it's too long a road"

"I wanna know what it feels like"

"To let this beauty fade, well, that's okay, I'm not afraid"

"I've lost a couple friends this year"

"It makes me think we're fragile here"

"Been lookin' back at old photographs"

"Yeah, yeah, now I see the worth in that"

Next To Nothing

"It's easy here to coast"

"I don't need nothing:

"Thank God you came along"

"Out of luck again"

If You Get Lonely

"If you're down on your luck, buy a lottery ticket"

"I bet you're still the same, wearing that old t-shirt"

"I bet they haven't changed one bit."

"If you get lonely, I'll be there"

"When you've lost yourself, I could lose myself"

"Only one place to go, running to your side"

Dandelions

"If you kicked I wouldn't know"

"But now it's all I think about"

"I wonder if you'll look like me"

"I hope you thrive out in the wild"

"So keep on wishing on those dandelions"

"Just keep on searching for a new horizon"

"You're coming into so much pain"

"We try to do the best we can"

"Lately the wheels have fallen off"

"Now when you kick I feel a hope"

I Don't Know What It Is

"Why won't you just let me in?"

"I'll make it easy on you, friend"

"I hope that you understand"

"I'm not like all the ones before"

"Yeah, I'm taking it one day at a time"

"Yeah, I'm waving sage under every doorway"

"I've never been good at change"

"It only makes me want to burn this place down"

"And I can't help but feel regret"

"I don't know what it is"

"I wish I didn't have to push so hard"

"Let me make you feel like a home should feel"

Take Your Time

"I feel it coming like a tidal wave"

"I feel it humming like a runaway train"

"I wait for something, just say anything"

"I wait for something, but no words come out"

"I wait for nothing, but I wait for you"

"I wait for nothing, I can't help myself"

Michael

"You said that you were getting better"

"And we talked all through the dinner"

"We always think there's a next time"

"One last thrill, one last ride"

"I cried all through the summer"

"When I go to lay my head and I don't find any rest"

"Oh, who you are is what I hold"

"When I miss you, I know"

Sirens

"We're long gone, but I haven't let go"

"It could have been sirens over my body"

"We wait around for change that never comes"

"I can't look at her the same"

"I won't look at her the same way"

"The show must go on, so I go on"

Lasso

"If I could lasso you, I'd do it from the sky"

"I'd paint a world for you"

"Never took you for a dime a dozen"

"See, I've been waiting on something"

"To make my move when the timing's right"

"I don't take this lightly"

"I look more fragile than I might be"

"I hold my role in my fist real tight"

"I'd get away with your heart"

"And I'm make it look easy"

Places To Run

"I won't look back for a little while"

"The radio is playing low"

"No going back in the homestretch"

"I could almost smile"

"I got places to run to"

"Is that a sign that I'm on track to getting better?"

"You're my favorite face when I'm sad"

Silent

" You say you love me and you lie ”

“ You took my heart, broke it in two ”

“ You made me silent, but I'm too loud ”

“ You didn't mean it, but you lied ”

“ And in the end, I sacrificed myself to your haunted mind ”

“ Yeah, without you here, I'm better off, I'm fine ”

“ 'Cause my heart is black ”

On Your Side

“ Together we would stand our ground ”

“ I remember the night we got drunk ”

“ Life isn't pretty we all get a little wrecked sometimes ”

“ I still wear your t-shirt out ”

“ Through all the hard times, i'm on your side ”

“ If God's listening, people think you're out of your mind .”

“I wonder who you’re dreaming of tonight.”

“Together we could stand our ground and fight.”

Mad Love

“ It's kinda hot when you're mad at me ”

“ You make me shiver when you touch my skin ”

“ And then there's days that you don't come around ”

“ I put up with your crazy 'cause I'm your better half ”

“ I get weak and it's hard to speak ”

“ You're such a pain to try and understand ”

“ I think I like the challenge because I love to win ”

“ Trouble from the the day I met ya ”

“ One look in your eyes and I could not forget ya ”

If You Love Someone

“ Just forget tomorrow's ever gonna come around ”

“ But the words that you're feeling never find their way ”

“ You're so invisible to the one you want ”

“ And you'd give anything to win their love ”

“ 'Cause your heart won't rest 'till you let it out ”

“ If you love someone, then tell them right now ”

“ Let the words you dream come out of your mouth ”

“ We can get lost in fears that we make for days that feel black as night ”

Someone Wake Me Up

“ We're gonna have to see each other eventually ”

“ So won't you tell me how we're gonna deal with that ”

“ Even though it was mutual, it still kills inside ”

“ It feels just like I'm going crazy ”

“ And now not even you can save me ”

“ You know the one I said I'd thrown away? ”

“ Even though it's over now, it still kills inside ”

" 'Cause for so long you have been my life ”

“ Never thought that we'd go under ”

Secret

“ You're a little obsessed with me ”

“ And I'm a little bit scared of you”

“ Maybe it's time I let you know “

“ You could call me six times but still I won't pick up the phone “

“ I never looked at you that way “

“ You told me lies. You made me believe.”

“ You could spend all your money on me, but still I'll say no.”

“ I'm confused now I don't understand “

“ I told you secrets that no one else knew “

“ It would be fine, if there was nothing to see.”

We Are One

“ Don't know, what we're fighting for. ”

“ When will it go? When will it stop?”

“ A part of me, still lives for you. “

“ We are one, you and me.”

“ Hey you, what's running through your head? “

“ Will you really throw them all away? “

“ I'm the one that's been trying.”

“ Is there truth behind the words you said to me? “

" __  was a lot of things, but __ wasn’t particularly explosive. “

“ __ was a sundress of a person; cute, airy, and inoffensive. “

“ But that’s hardly a reason to pop like a zit. “

“ __ was just, you know, a classmate. Someone I sat behind or passed in the halls everyday. ”

“ No, like a balloon. “

“ The only damage __ clothes took was... cosmetic. “

“ And it was very fucking disgusting. “

“ After the unprecedented event, all our 3rd period class got taken to the police station.”

“ Then they gave us a bunch of ugly shit sweatsuits and made us wait. “

“ It was like a Cronenberg movie. “

“ We didn’t have any information, they didn’t tell us anything. “

“ That is, uh, a silver lining. “

“ I always wondered what happened to those when someone dies. “

“ Fuck me. I need drugs. “

“ Nu-uh. you brew em in liquid so that you don’t get sick. “

“ We saw these baller old chicks in kimonos smoking a hookah with their toes in the sand. “ 

“ We have too many excellent journalists as it is. “

“ Definitely the best memorial service I’ve ever been to. “

“ It got me thinking about life, in an unironic way. “

“ I’m not usually like this, I can really hold my drugs. “

“ It’s weird being right there and missing it. “

“ Like I’m sad I missed it and that makes me feel terrible. “

“ Thanks for saying you liked me. “

“ Hey, would you want to come with me to the Homecoming game? “

“ Hmm, maybe I’m just someone who’s interested in grief-induced sex. “

“ The rumor of him being crushed to death by shit is false, and impossible. “

“ So... what gives Hipster Oats? “

“ I’d hoped we run into each other during the summer, but never did. “

“ Maybe I’d been wasting my entire life preparing for a year that may never come for me. “

“ So fuck it, I’m going to tell you how I feel. “

“ I’m going to spend my savings on a car, I’m not going to be scared anymore. “

“ I have a moment for you... where I knew I liked you. “

“ Tell me something, just for me. “

“ Yeah, could be worse, right? We could be Republicans. “

“ Do you have any idea why it’s happening though? “

“ Wait, so what you’re saying is we’re fucked? “

“ __, do i look like Benicio Del Toro to you? “

“ I don’t know what it is, but I also don’t really want to find out. “

“ I think we just, you know, date. “

“ If you go, like I’m coming. And if I go, I’m taking you too. “

“ We’re being roomies, down there. Because we both know we’re not going up there. “

“ I don’t care why it’s happening, I just want to figure out how to stop it. “

“ I’m like looking at you right now and feel like we should makeout. “

“ Oh, it was clear. It just sucked. “

“ I don’t think people felt very festive this year, you know. “

“ Are they really going to call the pill, ‘The Snooze Button’? “

“ We know you smoke pot, you’re terrible at hiding it. “

“ It’s like this, but with more anxiety and complete terror. “

“ Well, I guess you can tick that off your bucket list. “

“ It’s my body... in a sexual situation. “

“ Thank you for FBI-explaining the concept of nicknames to me. “

“ So, maybe __ would like to they’re not by themselves anymore. “

“ This is where we go, this is our spot. This is our thing! “

“ The last thing I want is for you to feel like science fair projects. “

“ Alright, you’re going to need vodka, dry vermouth, grenadine , and ice. “

“ Okay... i’m not equipped to deal with this. “

“ But I’ve found literally one thing that makes that feeling go away. “

“ I know, I’m fuckin Wonder Woman. “

“ Let’s go throw water balloons full of red paint at kids. “

“ No, I can’t fuck school. I need to get the fuck out of here. “

“ I’m losing my mind, I don’t want to die. “

“ Stop being a bitch and come help me out. “

“ What the fuck?! An agent’s car?!”

“ Did you just send me a beach house listing? “

“ But we’re already really, really old. “

“ I need my life to start, even if it’s just a few minutes long. “

“ I hope you live forever... like an elf. “

“ You’ll always be my best friend. “

“ *laughs* That’s fucking stupid. “

“ I’m the reason why it happened... and I don’t know why. “

“ I wish they were all here to celebrate this dumb bullshit. “

“ Springsteen is really good. I found that out the hard way. “

“ I wasn’t a good enough christian and now Jesus is punishing me. “

“ Boooo... sit down whore. “

“ I love you too, ya know. “

“ Did you think I was ‘Bad News Bears’? “

“ No, I just, I thought you were in a lot of pain and didn’t know how to deal with it. “

“ That’s just what life feels like sometimes. “

“ Great, now I have to be afraid of sinkholes too. “

“ But deserves got nothing to do with it. “

“ I think they just want to sell me pills for the rest of my life. “

“ Let’s be honest... that sappy shit’s gonna suck. “

“ I’m going to be amazing despite all of life’s shit. “

“ That’s president bitch to you, motherfucker. “

“ So fuck it. I’m going to stay at the beach house and smoke a hookah with my toes in the sand. “

Bonus if you send in one of the following hearts instead ;)

💔 for a break-up themed starter

💌  for a love letter written to your muse

💕  for an affair themed starter

💚  for an enemies turned lovers themed starter

💖  for a closeted relationship themed starter

💟  for a honeymoon themed starter

💘  for two fighters/soldiers/etc fighting their love for each other

💙  for repairing an injury/taking care of a loved one starter

"May I take your hand in mind?”

“Did you know that not even 1,000 miles could separate us?”

“Tomorrow, we’re driving to the nearest chapel or courthouse and getting hitched!”

“All these years and my feelings haven’t changed.”

“Oh, look. Doesn’t that old couple look adorable?”

“Four words that I’m ready to say. I’m in love with you.”

“Please, stay. I’ve lost enough people already that I can’t lose you too!”

“I know it might be crazy to hear, but I do love you. I really do.”

“Just don’t forget to actually slam the door on your way out this time.”

“Did it really take you all this time to say it back? I’m married now and they make me happy!”

“Really, are you happy now? Congrats on keeping your pride over me in a stupid fight!”

“How about I count to 10 and when I get to 10, you’re gone?”

“Right place, right time, eh? More like wrong time, wrong place.”

“Damn you, and, uh... just damn you!”

“You know, it’s been a month. I don’t regret my decision to get engaged, okay?”

“I just can’t stand it anymore. This! Everything! It’s tearing me apart!”

“Even you, standing there with a bouquet of flowers, doesn’t make me want to forgive you.”

“How many idiots does it take to screw up a relationship? Two? Three? Nope, just very lousy one.”

“You know, this is kind of silly. But I still have the gift you gave me on our first date.”

“Okay, it’s cheesy. But let’s go win ourselves that damn stuffed bear, baby!”

“You’re the sun that bursts through the clouds after a stormy, gloomy day.”

“Netflix and chill? I heard they just added a bunch of new stuff recently.”

“Forgiveness is easy. But babe, I can’t just forget what happened either.”

“Babe, oh my god. It’s our song, we have to dance!”

“Of course you look amazing in that outfit. You look amazing in everything you wear, babe.”

“Did you know that was the first time you ever told me you loved me?”

“After all this time, I still hate the smell of your stinky feet.”

“How about this? I did the laundry, dishes, and vacuumed. How about a shoulder and back massage?”

“Time is silly. I live in the now and what I’m feeling now is love. I love you, babe.”

Sucker

"Better than birds of a feather, you and me.”

“I follow you through the dark, can’t get enough.”

“You’re the medicine and the pain, the tattoo inside my brain.”

“I’m a sucker for you.”

“You say the word and I’ll go anywhere blindly.”

“Any road you take, you know that you’ll find me.”

“I'm a sucker for all the subliminal things“

“'Cause I know you and you know everything about me.”

Cool

"I'm feeling so cool”

“I comb my hair like an old school Sheen“

“Is it me or am I just havin' a good year?“

“And now that we've made it, how complicated was last year?“

Only Human

"I don't want this night to end”

“ It’s closing time, so leave with me again”

“Let's find a place where happiness begins“

“Just dance in the living room, love with an attitude“

“ It's only human, you know that it's real”

“So why would you fight or try to deny the way that you feel?“

“Oh, babe, you can't fool me, your body's got other plans“

“I’m praying you don't change your mind“

“’Cause leaving now just don't feel right“

“Let's do it one more time, oh babe“

I Believe

"Every night, every day, how about every lifetime?”

“Yeah, I know what they say, and that's fine“

“'Cause I'm here to stay through the good and the bad times“

“Baby, save me a space in your mind, yeah“

“And people saying that we move too fast“

“'Cause you show me something I can't live without“

“When you hold me, it's like Heaven coming down“

“Now that I got you close, I'm alright“

“Baby, I didn't know, but I'm glad that you found me“

“Nothing matters any longer, now I got you here with me”

Used To Be

"But you used to be the one I love”

“I'm the only one you know that'll listen“

“Too many devils on your shoulder“

“Cold feet turned into cold weather“

“We had love, now it don't matter“

“So tired of chasing all your demons“

“But you know I'll come around if you ask me“

Every Single Time

"Call me up and say you're needin' my love”

“But you don't ever think about us“

“Why do, why do, why do, why do I want you“

“And now I'm out here catching feelings like I want you“

“But keep me on the line, if loving you's a crime“

“Every single time, I keep on coming back to you“

“Then I won't keep my love locked down for you“

“Making love through every season“

“You think, you think it's only physical“

“I never thought that we'd come this far“

Don’t Throw It Away

"Take pictures out of all the frames”

“Pack up your love with all your things“

“See if it helps, give it a week“

“I bet no one else gets you like me“

“'Cause I know you think you’re better off without me now“

“But don't throw it away this time, just take a little time to think“

“Don't throw it away, your mind is messin' with your head again“

“Don’t save the words ’til it's too late“

“If it's too much to open up, then give it time“

“I know it hurts and that’s okay“

“I see it in your eyes so let's sleep on it tonight“

Love Her

"Then she’s afraid she's said too much”

“Opposites attract and we're the livin’ proof of this“

“But I keep on comin' back like a magnet“

“No matter the fight you know she's always right“

“But seein' her smile can get you every time“

“I put my selfish ways in boxes“

“And I promise I’ll never walk away“

“Gotta learn to let the small things go“

“And know it's always far from perfect“

“But the hardest parts are always worth it“

Happy When I’m Sad

"Lookin' like I'm never going to be that again”

“Never gonna stay friends, yeah, stay friends“

“They think I'm happy when I'm sad“

“Can't look how we made it, say "Congratulations"“

“See me in the mirror, nothin' ever changes“

“Never see the sunset, only in my head“

“Never gonna stop, never gonna calm down“

“I put on a smile, don't need a face-lift“

“Why can't I when everybody fakes it?“

Trust

"I don't trust myself when I'm around you”

“Lately, I don't think I even know me“

“Take me back to when you were my only“

“And all at once, it's like I'm being someone else, yeah“

“You're all I want, but I know that you're bad for my health“

“Doing things I never do, acting like a damn fool“

“Thinkin' 'bout my lips upon your mouth, yeah“

“But I know that I could never live without you“

“Got me weak in the knees, my God, can't breathe“

Strangers

"I came here looking for another excuse”

“To run away from something beautiful“

“It's like it’s driving me closer to you“

“Every step back pulls me right back to you“

“Time stands still and it's only us“

“What we feel started way before we ever touched“

“Yeah, you found me right before I'd given up“

“Knew it right then when I looked in your eyes“

“Been here before and it just feels right“

“You say my name like it's been on your lips“

“You got a heart that I know I can miss“

“Hold me like that and pull me right back again“

Hesitate

"Kiss the tears right off your face”

“Time, time only heals if we work through it now“

“I will take your pain“

“You saved me once and now I'll save you too“

“I thank the oceans for giving me you“

“Don't you ever say goodbye“

“If I could only read your mind“

“Pull me close and I'll hold you tight“

“Know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you“

“Don't be scared 'cause I'm on your side“

Rollercoaster

"Days lifted in a haze, we weren't just a phase”

“I remember low lows and high highs”

“It was fun when we were young and now we're older“

“We were up-and-down and barely made it over“

“But I'd go back and ride that roller coaster“

“Those days that are the worst, they seem to glow now“

“Now everything has changed, we found better days“

Comeback

"Come back to me, baby, I'll come back to you”

“I get scared when you're scared but what else can I do?“

“I’ll be on the way like a bat out of hell“

“Heaven knows I'm proud but I'll turn 'round“

“Light up the world like only you can do“

“ If you’re lost on the way then I'll get lost too”

“You know the place that I go running to“

First

"Ooh, it's amazing that you came here”

“When we go out like that, and you don't write me back“

“I thought that we had a connection, yeah“

“Pull me in to push me back, I ain't going out like that“

“You're the kind of person to put yourself first“

“Acting like it's nothing only makes it worse“

“You're the kind of person to boost yourself worth“

“And you been playing me since day one, yeah“

“And truth is I think that I like the torture“

“Last year's old news”

“I'm gonna run so fast 'til I can't breathe”

“Let's make some noise we never did before”

“I'm all about the music, I just wanna sing”

“ Watch me live out my dreams “

“ I'm gonna rock that stage and give my everything “

“ This time I'm gonna sing and you're gonna hear it “

“ This time I'm gonna show you that I got the spirit “

“ You'll just have to watch, I can't believe “

“ We can't back down Not right now “

“ We're all in this together “

“ We can't pretend it's not happening “

“ I don't like confrontation “

“ There's too much at stake “

“ We're like a melody with no words “

“ Every day's been like a dream world, oh “

“ It's like tossing your heart to see where it lands “

“ I won't forget If we remember different summers “

“ I think I've finally found a better place to start “

“ Spendin' all my time stuck in yesterday “

“ I need to find you, I gotta find you Yeah, yeah I gotta find you “

“ Couldn't wait to leave but now I have to go “

“ In the end it's a win because we grown so close together “

“ Wanna give me your number, I'm a call ya “

“ There's so much more I just want to be “

“ Come on now, get up and show them “

“ 'Cause it only makes it harder to fit in “

“ It's time you started making your own rules “

“ 'Cause there's no way you'll be ignored not anymore “

“ Say it's close enough to perfect for me “

“ I'm trying to do my best to impress “

“ I like really cool guitars and superheroes “

“ I never meant to let you all down “

“ I'm gonna clean up the mess I made “

“ I know there's a way so I promise “

“ We'll start it again after the end of the day “

“ Don't be afraid we'll do it together “

“ And all we can do is travel each day to the next “

“ I know you're ready there's no need to wait “

“ We give you more than you want and you can't handle it “

“ No more hiding who I want to be “

“ Everything you say is so irrelevant “

“ Exactly who do you think you are? “

“ Don't take it personal, don't get emotional “

“ I'm a natural, I'm the real deal “

“ I can't help the way I am “

“ You know it's the truth I'm too cool for you “

“ Don't think that acting cool will make me want to care “

“ I just need your respect, if you're gonna be the one “

“ But if I didn't I might miss out “

“ 'Cause it's my life and now's the time “

“ There's so many choices now “

“ I get to make the future what I want to “

“ There's nothing that I can't do “

“ But I wouldn't change a thing, no “

♦Episode One♦

“I don’t think doing this on the first day qualifies as a good choice.”

“Well you definitely made an impression on that kid.”

“Oooh, looks like someone’s got a new crush.”

“It’s butts, butts, butts with that guy.”

“Butts are the new boobs, finally.”

“You okay running against your ex?”

“You have a real message that anyone who feels like an outsider can relate to.”

“I don’t delete photos, it’s bad for my brand.”

“You haven’t returned any of my texts, I thought you were dead.”

“You could a find a way to stroke his ego.”

“This whole election is a mockery!”

“Wait, are brains the new butts?”

♦Episode Two♦

“What are you talking about? Scandal should totally be your favorite show!”

“So, did you maybe want to be my partner for this?”

“So, how’s that whole just being friends thing working out for you?”

“Changing your hair is a cry for help, everyone knows that!”

“I spilled soda near her laptop once and she didn’t talk to me for three weeks.”

“I have to explain the hand touch wasn’t a big deal before she blows it out of proportion.”

“Are you seriously just going to stand there and pretend like nothing happened?!”

“My friends don’t understand like you do. They want me to paste on a happy face.”

“What were you doing home in the middle of the day?”

“By turning our backs on the dolphins we’ve really turned our backs on ourselves.”

“You don’t suck as much as most people.”

♦Episode Three♦

“Mandatory intramurals are a slam drunk, everyone seems to love them.”

“Complicated way of saying simple things. The end.”

“Life’s lesson. Confidence.”

“Baby, I’m the captain of this love cruise. Hop on board.”

“Uh, actually I was studying your lips.”

“Are you going to fix it or keep being a stupid liar?!”

“Operation Get Some was a total bust.”

“Oh, you came to thank me, how sweet.”

“I believe in solving problems, not whining about them.”

“So if you two can’t even talk about sex, should you even be doing it?”

“There are always going to be people in your life that upset you.”

“Do you want me to, uh, close my laptop?”

♦Episode Four♦

“If this goes well, it could turn into a recurring gig.”

“You think that many people want to plan a dance?”

“Only a complete doof would let you slip through their fingers.”

“Easy goth princess, I was just trying to help blondie out.”

“The X rating is my cue to exit.”

“If you apologize for defending yourself, you give guys permission to treat you like crap.”

“If you don’t want to get caught sneaking out, don’t get tagged in photos!”

♦Episode Five♦

"Wait, how are you a favorite and I’m not?”

“How exactly do you ‘got this’?

“I’m getting old you’re going to have to spell this out for me.”

“I just found out my friend has been having some alone time.”

“It’s a normal thing to do and it’s supposed to be enjoyable.”

“You’re distracting me, you doof!”

“Well, they’re not ‘not’ talking about you.”

“If you’re always a disappointment, then it’s impossible to disappoint.”

“I’m no stranger to death, but that doesn’t mean I want to talk about it.”

“Do you mind telling me the last few things you remember?”

“Evil never takes a holiday, __.”

“I think after the week he’s had he needs a nap. A therapist.”

“It’s been the same with all the creatures that came before you.”

“No, they’ve been erased from history. And so have you.”

“Okay, well I’m not sure your methods are the most effective.”

“I don’t understand what’s happening, why am I here?”

“Necromancy is everywhere in occult literature.”

“Do you ever just say things once?!”

“The only advice I can offer you is to find closure.”

“Holy, mary, mother of demons!”

“You want to know if he’s at peace or if he’s suffering.”

“This is a little much don’t you think?”

“I’ll never forgive myself for what I did to you.”

“I knew that you’d never hurt me, but you did scare me sometimes.”

“No one should ever have to be alone like this.”

“Don’t you dare play disappointed dad, because you are not my father!”

“Okay, young grasshopper. It’s called snatch, eat, erase.”

“Apologies for the melodrama, but I need to buy myself some time.”

“But he won’t find peace until you do.”

“Do you even know what a ripper is?”

“I’m not sure I know how to fix it.”

“I can’t exactly tell them what you’re really involved in.”

“No, no. I am nowhere near cracking this case.”

“__, if you could just put the crossbow down my freakout level is about 11 right now.”

“I was sort of just yanked awake and then I was just here.”

“Okay, but no one sees her. Especially not today.”

“Obviously nothing’s going to come out of it. I may never see __ again.”

“You do not need a counselor, __. You need a friend.”

“Perks of being an alpha. A bunch of people you get to boss around.”

“You’ve known __ for two minutes and you know what’s good for __?”

“Who cares what Lizzie Saltzman thinks?”

“Hey, I didn’t see you at breakfast.”

“So you getting the consolation prize is perfect.”

“Oh, look it’s satan in a crop top.”

“Retro! Princess Di before she got style, I dig it!”

“I put a basic boundary spell to keep her in.”

“You look a little seasoned.”

“It’s not an act, __. It’s Mystic Falls. I’m not exactly the first person to be brought back from the dead.”

“She couldn’t compel a pilot and hop on a private jet?!”

“Holy crap! You’re bio mom!”

“This is impossible! I wasn’t even showing at our wedding.”

“She’s overseas doing very important recruiting work.”

“You probably should’ve thought twice before asking to be her date.”

“I will keep werewolf prince charming away from the party long enough for you to shoot your one final, inevitably failed, shot.”

“I walked up to him at a college party. He was the only guy over 20.”

“This walk down weird old people memory lane is fun and all, but we have a party to get ready for.”

“You’re officially a gigolo.”

“You’ll be free in an hour, plenty of time to practice that waltz!”

“Blunt force hasn’t gotten them what they wanted so they moved on to psychological warfare.”

“I just think that she’s more fairy godmother than zombie.”

“Sure, do you know anyone who’s heart isn’t made of stone?”

“So when are you going to take care of you?”

“Well last year there was this girl but she dumped me.”

“But anybody who spent five minutes with you would know how special you are.”

“So you can slay a dragon but you can’t get us out of here?”

“A crew isn’t the same. Family is always and forever.”

“Sorry no time for bitchy banter.”

“Hero 101, __. You don’t give the bad guys what they want, especially when we don’t know what it does.”

“Well, listen harder. Pretend you’re on a beach or something!”

“Do they know what happens when they 22?”

“You’re right. This world needs the selfless and selfish to keep spinning.”

“Hey, where’d you disappear to last night?”

“After the party I tried to ride some dude’s great dane to water tower and back. It didn’t go well.”

“She convinced me to get a tattoo. *shows a tattoo of a moustache on finger*”

“This is the career path that we’ve chosen.”

“Come on, you can’t walk out of me scamp. You have any idea how unprofessional that is?!”

“I quit. There’s gotta be more to life than cleaning the same pool over and over.”

“What the devil are you ladies in such a hurry for?”

“You forget your shirt again, __!”

“Oh we got it out. Used a stick and an old candy bar wrapper!”

“Didn’t exactly figure out my purpose in life yet. But if I record an album I’m pretty sure I’ve got my cover.”

“Dog gone it! We’re out of bubblegum ice cream!”

“You’re like a hero! And you’re cute!”

“Your new friend’s been explaining the news to us!”

“If you’re doing big business you gotta flush twice and don’t be running the sink during the second flush or you’re gonna have to give it a third go around.”

“Here I was trying to figure out what life’s all about and I think I’ve found it. Love!”

“She kills her boyfriends, two so far. We keep trying to catch her, but she keeps changing her name. She’s tricky.”

“She tried to choke me with a pair of shoe laces. She was screaming something about how I forgot her birthday.”

“She named it Princess Beyoncé, but I think I might change that.”

“Somebody took all the soup cans and put them upside down on the shelf again!”

“I don’t know, I work at a grocery store. I get bored.”

“So you’re just telling me I let you all live in my house for free?! Unbelievable.”

“Fine, we’ll walk home! Book says fresh air is great for her!”

“Well, the produce doodler is back!”

“I need paper towels! I need paper towels!”

“I threw up on the baby!”

“I got ph’s to balance to balance, that’s science!”

“__, I got one that talks.”

“We are running tests on him to figure out once and for all if he’s supernatural.”

“Can’t the honor council decide? Isn’t that the point?”

“I didn’t think my big mouth would get him sent to vampire prison.”

“I left you instructions in my office. Try not to kill him.”

“You know you’re not going to lose the election over an outfit.”

“I’m not worried about losing the election, I’m worried about what I’m going to wear my victory rally.”

“Maybe you should wear something that shows your fellow witches you’re going to take this seriously.”

“People don’t really know what they want until I tell them they want it.”

“These tests determine whether or not I get to stay at this school, right?”

“If your interests don’t line up with hers then you’re witch non grata.”

“I personally believe that you deserve a better candidate.”

“You used to like it when I went low.”

“You don’t even like extracurricular activities, let alone anything that involves a moral compass.”

“Oh and your one witch ethics committee is okay with double plagiarism?” 

“Bow out now or I will crush you.”

“Oh honey, you crush on me.”

“Trees are patient, humans are not.”

“Yeah, well excuse a foster kid for never having any swim lessons.”

“But I only have to pass one test to stay so I’m not giving up yet.”

“So it’s a supernatural lie detector.”

“If we can’t figure out what you are then you can’t stay at this school.”

“I have a lot of secs(sex)... I mean time.”

“Are you blackmailing me?”

“No silly. I’m blacktieing you. It’s totally different.”

“If what the alpha says goes, then I’ve gotta be the alpha.”

“I’ve always wanted to be part of a power couple.”

“I’m sorry, I made a mistake. I thought you were someone else.”

“When I let my guard down, people disappoint me.”

“For the last time, I’m sorry. I broke your trust and I don’t want to do it again.”

“I’m trying to rise above it. So let me freaking rise!”

“Well, I can step down and they’d have to go with the runner up.”

“Except. It turns out I wasn’t the runner up either.”

“So, let me guess. There’s been a mistake. I won the popular vote, but not the electoral college.”

“I will honor our deal, what do you wish to know?”

“Earlier I asked him if he felt safe here and he said yes. He was lying.”

“This school is family and I’m not putting my family in danger again.”

“Don’t blame me, it’s the rest of the witches who knew how bad you’d be at the job.”

“Oh she won’t ever burn your world down. I will do it for her.”

“Come on man. I’m the loveable virgin, it’s not my time.”

“Just got a little peckish, went out for a midnight snack.”

“It won’t hurt to assume the worst.”

“Because that’s what heroes do.”

“So, I volunteer as tribute.”

“Why you still thinking about murdering him?”

“Any idea what to do with __ while we search for missing mean girls?”

“Keep my head down, make myself useful, and don’t pick fights.”

“I was making an entrance, mophead.”

“Sorry, I just had a flashback to my freshman year here.”

“So get your wedgie trauma in check or leave.”

“__, you try not to deliberately alienate the entire student body.”

“You’re right, it’s a mission. For a hero and __ league of whatevers.”

“Would you like to be the robin to my batwoman?”

“You know the wolves usually eat outside.”

“Why didn’t you ditch like __ and play detective?”

“Well, I’m working on offensive spells for class.”

“They only teach defensive magic here, but I personally think the curriculum needs to evolve.”

“I’m still trying to wrap my head around this being a normal conversation here.”

“As fun as this hurricane of toxic masculinity is, I have to get to class.”

“On your left you’ll find the bathrooms where I had my first kiss with a toilet.”

“Is the fact I’m not openly hostile to you make it seem like we’re back to being friends?”

“I’m sorry, you look traumatized. Is this loser bothering you?”

“__ keeps trying to get me to buy __ mixtape.”

“Have either of you heard about the vampires at our school feeding?”

“But she did invite me to try out for the cheerleading team?”

“Meaning that we have a transitioning vampire on our hands.”

“All you gotta do is tell us the story, it’s our rite of passage.”

“You can either submit or you can bleed and then submit.”

“Nailed it, bro. Easy decision, right?”

“Oops, I suck at math.”

“I think her soul just got on my shoes. Eww!”

“Calm down! Close your eyes and breathe!”

“I meant adding an elective, not launching a revolution.”

“What’s it going to be? Toilet bowl, trash can, bloody nose?”

“Spider, a big spider! An arachnid if you want to get specific.”

“This is nerd porn, not real life.”

“This is bad. Whatever spun this is going to come back and eat us.”

“I don’t know, the room’s still spinning.”

“So much for my plan to spend the day as a normal teenage __.”

“I don’t know why creatures we’ve only read about in books are making cameos in Mystic Falls.”

“Being a hero is not more important than being safe.”

“Well the only reason we’re alive today is because we broke the rules.”

“The past couple of days have proven you can’t protect us from everything.”

“I love you... sort of.”

“I guess I felt like launching the revolution.”

“Chain spells are about the fluid movement of energy from witch to witch.”

“A disharmonious group makes for an uneven flow.”

“Well you weren’t mad last night.”

“You’re lucky it’s just community service and not actual jail time.”

“Can I at least offer a rebuttal in my defense?”

“And secondly, if anyone should take the blame it’s __.”

“But nice job throwing your __ under the bus.”

“Harmoniously and without drama, end of debate.”

“I wasn’t even at the game, why am I being punished?”

“You only play by the grown up rules when you don’t need something from me.”

“Sorry no time for girl talk, public service awaits.”

“Listen up, beautiful day. You’ve got options...litter, weeds, graffiti. Your choice.”

“But there aint no way in hell I’m picking up that garbage.”

“Uh, I don’t do trash either.”

“And I’m feeling a rage attack coming on, so I remain drama free by that wall of graffiti.”

“I don’t know __, is there another bus you want to throw me under?”

“It’s food man, I’m good.”

“Thanks for sticking with me.”

“Man. You run, I run. Period.”

“Well, what’s done is done.”

“A burger. A burger would be better.”

“Choose your next words very carefully, __.”

“And according to legend, it’s indestructible. And I’m starting to agree.”

“A jerk. You are a total jerk.”

“A neanderthal from Mystic Falls High assaulted me with a milkshake.”

“At least now you know why I am so screwed up!”

“The sixth grade witches are learning illusion spells.”

“Cleaning up messes is kind of my thing.”

“But don’t worry, I didn’t tell him you helped me with the spell.”

“Okay, we definitely deserve a little bit of poking.”

“In a nutshell, it says hit it hard. Repeat as needed.”

“It might not seem like I appreciated it. I did.”

“How could you jump in front of __ like that? You could’ve died, __!”

“Honey, I knew it wouldn’t kill me because my research said so.”

“So how did you know the gargoyle wouldn’t kill you?”

“If you asked me a week ago, I would’ve told you I knew the difference between myth & fact.”

“Hey, I had the kitchen make these. Your favorite. Brownies.”

“Let’s start from the beginning.”

“You knew you’d be caught.”

“But we lost the trail and now I’m being interrogated.” 

“Did anyone help you with the spell?”

“It should be said that Shakespeare wasn’t completely clueless.”

“Let’s hit the dining hall and carb load, it’s game day!”

“So fess up, what did you do?”

“Hot tip, next time you burn your ex’s hair off make sure __ can’t rock a bob.”

“If you hurry you can catch the blair bitch.”

“Don’t say whatever it is you’re about to say.”

“But they mock us.”

“If you want this car to work, I’m going with you.”

“Let me show you something.”

“You’re being melodramatic, __’s missing one game.”

“Today we will lose even more epically than we normally do.”

“Win by losing, that’s the spirit.”

“__ hopped the Hope train out of town.”

“Maybe because __ doesn’t have a reason to run.”

“It’s okay.. I-I’m uh not going to hurt you.”

“We have to go through this every year, okay?”

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that on a poster at the dentist’s.”

“Appreciate the passion, but maybe you should exert some of it making new friends.”

“There’s a lot of crazy witchy people looking for you.”

“Do you need to make a phone call?”

“That went well, all things considered.”

“One word and I can burn her perky little boobs to ash.”

“You’re lucky I’m still talking to you after that stunt you pulled last night.”

“I was giving you what you wanted.”

“I do everything on purpose.”

“Does a girl have to have a motive to do charity work?”

“Next play? Impress me.”

“Pretty obvious isn’t it? He’s saving your ass.”

“I don’t believe a word you’re saying.”

“There’s a fire breathing woman running through the woods!”

“I’m sorry. I panicked.”

“Honestly? I just get a thrill from tormenting all the crazies.”

“Let’s burn these bitches to the ground.”

“You about to be trippin’...for real though, trippin.”

“Did anyone ever tell you smoking’s bad for you?”

“You win, without any of your supernatural special sauce.”

“Good idea, Satan. But to be clear you can’t have my immortal soul.”

“You wake up with a death wish today?”

“This isn’t earth magic, __.”

“We don’t allow black magic.”

“It can’t be you, I won’t allow it.”

“Oh woah, towel on!”

“Cause vampire or not, the last thing I want to see is your lost boy.”

“It’s time for strategy sesh.”

“Some people just want to watch the world burn.”

“I’m mad at the world and you just happen to be in it.”

"I come from a long line of villains.”

“You two know each other?”

“You’re going to want to stay out here __, trust me.”

“Shut down the exorcist would you?”

“__ used to serve me milkshakes at the Mystic Grill.”

“Peanut butter blast, whip cream on the bottom.”

“And then you moved away.”

“And then you made a door blow off its hinges with your brain.”

“Welcome to the Salvatore School, __ your tour guide(s).”

“Were you aware of us when you lived in Mystic Falls?”

“I see the rich part is true.”

“Nobody in town mentioned anyone in here could do that.”

“We blend in, just enough.”

“Everyone here has something that makes them special.”

“What do you think it was?”

“Either I’ve lost my mind or werewolves are real.”

“Well let’s start with who __ killed recently.”

“Everybody gets along with everybody here for the most part.”

“The wolves are pretty cliquey, they like to hang with their own.”

“That is why __ volunteered to be your tour guide(s).”

“She who shall not be named.”

“That’s right, a stink spell.”

“Six foster homes in seven years.”

“Prone to fits of anger.”

“But then he threw a 200 lb lawn mower across the yard.”

“I guess they thought __ was possessed by the devil.”

“All of that is consistent with a newly triggered wolf.”

“You know for a school with a secret to keep you’re kind of liberal with the information.”

“How could I forget any of this?”

“But you’re not a prisoner here, I swear.”

“No one expected you couldn’t be compelled.”

“Yeah, I’ll just sit here alone in the witch dungeon with my thoughts.”

“So real life quidditch remains an elusive pipe dream.”

“Giving up dibs on the new __ so quickly?”

“Plus I’m still nursing a wounded soul.”

“Probably, they usually do.”

“You know? Hot, angry...damaged?”

“We survive here because we follow the rules.”

“You ask a lot of questions.”

“I’m remembering the day we danced.”

“Summoning spell...did I bruise you? I’m still working out the kinks.”

“You nearly gave me tracheotomy with a bread knife, humor me.”

“You know I could just whip up a remedy with some herbs from the bio lab?”

“__, do you think i’m broken?”

“I just... I don’t ever want to hurt anybody.”

“__ doesn’t hold the patent on it.”

“Speak of the actual devil.”

“Are you crazy? I almost killed you.”

“In my experience, your safest bet is to not touch it.”

“Seriously? I’m offering to rock your world.”

“I try not to get close to people anymore.”

“You did that for me?”

“This is the part where you run.”

“It’s simply not safe for you here, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not possible, I’m not that stupid.”

“Well, we’re not allowed to use dark magic here.”