Mushroom System

white-presenting alters forgetting the bodies race can be dangerous. we once got approached by cops waiting for our white partner to get off of work. they had their hands on their guns before we even had the chance to talk back. we didnt quite escalate it but we definitely didnt deescalate either. we responded in kind to their rudeness because we werent doing anything wrong. simply walking around an empty parking lot so we didnt fall asleep waiting. if not for our white partner noticing and immediately coming to our rescue all sorts of things could have happened.

There were times when we were followed around stores while already in a paranoid state and if not for safegaurds would have flipped out on those people.

part of our system forming was because the way black bodies are policed. we have alters whos whole role is to safe guard us. to keep track of code switching. to know how to react to police to microagressions to danger.

i once worked at a cafe whos owners had ties to the KKK (LIKE LITERALLY THE KKK) and di not pick up on being financially abused by the place because we needed the money. we couldnt lose the job. so our brain ignored the red flags until i was alone with the owner and bam flood gate of racism and microagressions and names of churchs and friends came flooding back because my brain knew being alone with him was too much too dangerous.

even in my pysch eval there was a segment talking about my systems need to stay functional. because black peole who cannot stay calm who cannot perform get murdered they get hurt.

that safe adult conversation is different when youre black. you dont flag down police if youre scared and lost or hurt. because they might hurt you too.

guidance counselors and teachers? they might not believe you at all because your black. they might call cps which is 10x more likely to just snatch kids from family and throw them into institutions.

you try to find hobbies and are constantly told theyre not for you. comic books, reading, skate parks, anime, tv, movies, animals, etc. you try to get out go for a walk and there will be white people who feel they have the right to hurt you.

you try to figure out romantic and sexual connections and feelings well youre being too fast to grown. not to mention the adultification and sexualize of black kids.

youre forced to swallow your feelings constantly. youre taught to never make a fuss. youre taught your feelings dont matter. you cant do or be or think without being wrong.

mental health isnt talked about in the black community. finding black therapists who understand is incredibly difficult. finding a black CHILD therapist ooo girl theu exist but not many of them.

but anyway didnt even talk about the medical field BUT! let me add in every adult who is supposed to be a “safe” adult for children is warped by race. doctors, therapists, social workers, nurses, teachers, police, emts, pastors, community centers even fucking firemen.

because these people 1. arent being checked for racial bias. some of their training includes like active racism. 2. they know better than anyone that no one cares about black and brown kids. they go missing at higher rates. they get taken and abused at higher rates. they get found and helped almost never.

that safe adult conversation is different when youre black. you dont flag down police if youre scared and lost or hurt. because they might hurt you too.

guidance counselors and teachers? they might not believe you at all because your black. they might call cps which is 10x more likely to just snatch kids from family and throw them into institutions.

you try to find hobbies and are constantly told theyre not for you. comic books, reading, skate parks, anime, tv, movies, animals, etc. you try to get out go for a walk and there will be white people who feel they have the right to hurt you.

you try to figure out romantic and sexual connections and feelings well youre being too fast to grown. not to mention the adultification and sexualize of black kids.

youre forced to swallow your feelings constantly. youre taught to never make a fuss. youre taught your feelings dont matter. you cant do or be or think without being wrong.

mental health isnt talked about in the black community. finding black therapists who understand is incredibly difficult. finding a black CHILD therapist ooo girl theu exist but not many of them.

but anyway didnt even talk about the medical field BUT! let me add in every adult who is supposed to be a “safe” adult for children is warped by race. doctors, therapists, social workers, nurses, teachers, police, emts, pastors, community centers even fucking firemen.

because these people 1. arent being checked for racial bias. some of their training includes like active racism. 2. they know better than anyone that no one cares about black and brown kids. they go missing at higher rates. they get taken and abused at higher rates. they get found and helped almost never.