Silly K9 Diary

Welcome To My Diary

i often think about being 16. I had come out as gender fluid to my family expressed wanting to get on t. so they took me to my endocrinologist. i said id prefer to go somewhere closer so i wouldnt have to wait 6 months. they said no because of “medical” concerns. so i waited. my mother prepared my doctor. she had conversations with her without me present. so when i went in they had a playbook. a plan to “corse” correct me. because i had “never been that into sports” because i would be “such a great mom” because “teen girls are taught to hate themselves because of the patriarchy” because they did not want me to transition. at 19 i went to a doctor to talk about top surgery. just wanted to talk to someone about the pros and cons especially with my medical conditions. with my body type. it was a family friend who again i would later learn. spoke to my mother before i even arrived. he told me that it would be hard. that i would need my parents help. how expensive it would be. so i waited. it wasnt until i was 21 that i was able to get on t. i wasnt able to stay on it due to financial issues and the fact that i found out my mom switched to my endocrinologist. i didnt feel safe. and even though i loved the changes it was ripped away from me once again.