#ref

— Pablo Neruda, tr. by Robert Bly, from “Letter to Miguel Otero Silva, in Caracas,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

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My dear sweet Nothing, let’s start anew, from here all in is just me and you.

‘  when i figure out how to die without hurting my mom’s feelings it’s over for me, bitches  ’ ‘  420 stands for “4got 2 0pologize”  ’ ‘  all millennials do is commit minor felonies and be gay  ’ ‘  hoodies are one of the most powerful and underappreciated articles of clothing. cold? put on a hoodie. raining? put on a hoodie. no bra? put on a hoodie. nothing to wear? hoodie. cripplingly low self esteem? you already know. so versatile! so multifaceted!  ’ ‘  i thought christmas was like… next friday or something its in like 3 days fuck  ’ ‘  if you’re not in love with me by 00:00:00 jan 1 then just block me. i don’t need that kind of energy following me into the new year  ’ ‘  who needs ghosts? haunt your own house. wander around your own living room wailing and crying  ’ ‘  my kink is not opening messages and pretending theyre not there  ’ ‘  u know when ur growing out of phases and mindsets but u haven’t found where exactly ur shift in identity is going yet? that’s tonight’s mood  ’ ‘  me @ me: don’t start buddy don’t you dare  ’ ‘  there are people you haven’t met yet who will love you  ’ ‘  god knew what she was doing when she made bruno mars short if he had been tall he would be too powerful  ’ ‘  motivation? haven’t heard of her in years how she doin  ’ ‘  Do you think people with LED headlights know that everyone hates them? Like…really hates them in an oddly personal way? Do you think they know?  ’ ‘  and the final mood for 2017 is: you know those days where you’re like, this might as well happen?  ’ ‘  putting more importance into self care, spirituality, love and peace of mind. start with stretching and deep breathing.  ’ ‘  dont forget to tell someone you love that you love them, thank people who deserve to be thanked, be more patient on people having a hard time, be more considerate, understanding, and be kinder, always.  ’ ‘  do you think in the 1700s there were people who were like nah man Mozart’s a total sellout I only listen to peasants beating things with sticks it’s way more authentic  ’ ‘  2032 is gonna be my year just u wait  ’ ‘  I want a “I made a playlist for you” typa love  ’ ‘  @ 2018 the bar is literally so low  ’ ‘  Just because you don’t look like somebody who you think is attractive doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive. Flowers are pretty, but so are sunsets and they look nothing alike.  ’ ‘  i have a “why am i like this” moment at least five times a day  ’ ‘  very sad to hear about donald trump. nothing happened to him i’m just sad to hear about him  ’ ‘  *me, eyes wide open at 3am* what happened to chandler bing once he got to yemen  ’ ‘  tonight’s mood is the deep desire to be held close in a dimly lit room, covered in blankets while rain is softly falling outside  ’ ‘  do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”  ’ ‘  i guess im just too fucking dumb to lucid dream. cant ever realize im in a dream, i’ll look around me like damn i’m in my old elementary school and my teeth are falling out and im naked? well shit guess this is my life now. got fooled by my subconscious again lads  ’ ‘  u ever get no sleep and the next day ur body functions like the tumblr app  ’ ‘  you ever wonder how many people you’re in the “we’re friends but i would kiss you if you asked” club with  ’ ‘  is anyone else just going through life like “yeah i just gotta get past this last difficult week and then it’s smooth sailing from there!” but like… every week  ’ ‘  The only thing toxic that you should still be in contact with is that song Britney Spears made, because that song is lit.  ’ ‘  imagine if you named your kid dad. just dad.  ’ ‘  take care of yourself, please. i don’t know what id do if anything happened to you.  ’ ‘ crazy how personal growth can make you let go of people you swore you couldn’t live without.  ’ ‘  im in no position to have high standards but it doesn’t stop me  ’ ‘  you can start over at anytime. your day is not ruined. your world is not over. take a deep breath. start over.  ’ ‘  I’m gonna have a bomb ass life and I know it cause I’ve suffered so much and I know that wasn’t for no reason  ’ ‘  you ever just get in bed and ur like yep this is where i’m meant to be  ’ ‘  an unstoppable force (my love of books) meets an unmovable object (my lack of a desire to actually read anything)  ’ ‘  i just have this persistent feeling of “i’m not doing enough” combined with “i don’t have the energy to do anything” and it just really fucking sucks  ’ ‘  sorry I haven’t replied to ur texts I’ve been overwhelmed by literally anything that’s ever happened or will happen  ’ ‘  me when i see a wild animal in a metropolitan area: reclaim your space, we are the invaders, retake what is yours  ’ ‘  no offense but money would solve literally every single one of my problems. like all of them. i dont have a single problem that money wouldnt immediately solve  ’ ‘  i am not enough and it’s eating me alive  ’ ‘  what do u mean “what have i been up to” … i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch  ’ ‘  always remember that love will always come back to u. in a different form, different person, different hobby, different touch. but in any way, love will always come back.  ’ ‘  The struggle between me wanting to be successful and me wanting to lay in bed 24/7  ’ ‘  If you play “Feeling Myself” by Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé at exactly 11:58:50 pm on New Year’s Eve, Beyoncé will say “World Stop” in 2017 and “Carry On” in 2018.  ’ ‘  Self care is putting absurd amounts of parmesan cheese on your pasta  ’ ‘  you ever just like “wow that’s my voice? people listen to this clown on a daily basis?”  ’ ‘  ravioli ravioli give me a reason to live  ’ ‘  finally worked up the courage to tell the starbucks girl she was beautiful and i only puked twice  ’ ‘  do i wanna know??? no. but thank u monkey friends  ’ ‘  hey this is kinda ns.fw but i wann h*ld your h*nd  ’ ‘  talent: overthinking  ’ ‘  have you ever had that feeling that you really wanna workout to get a flat stomach… but you also just wanna eat pizza and watch netflix.  ’ ‘  if you google eyebrows are you eyebrowsing  ’ ‘  *skips tutorial* how the fuck do you play this game  ’ ‘  Literally heard a convo at the library where a guy was telling a girl that he’s an omega and the girl telling him that she’s a beta, and my mind just did not automatically connect the context to fraternity pledge classes at all and I just whispered to myself “what the fuck?? What the fuck??”  ’ ‘  my hands? ready to be held  ’ ‘  Catch These Hands! with your hands. we’re holding hands now. this is nice  ’ ‘  kinda weird that u can think about someone as much as u want and they have no idea  ’ ‘  physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll  ’ ‘  I would rather wander around a store for 9 hours than ask an employee where something is and this I do not understand  ’ ‘  my childhood, or, as i like to call it, the general abyss with one or two memories attached to it   ’ ‘  i know ‘gay’ isn’t an emotion but let’s be real,,,,,,,,,it kind of is and i feel it 24/7  ’ ‘  babe get ready for a night on the town, i just found an old Subway gift card and there’s still $9.45 left on it  ’ ‘  just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined  ’ ‘  i’m the person who’s 100% down for spontaneous adventures but also 100% down to lay in bed all day. i’m on both ends of the spectrum  ’ ‘  this year has changed me more than I ever thought it would.   ’ ‘  it’s ok to disappear for a lil while and get your shit together.  ’ ‘  if you wanna love me hmu  ’ ‘  calling me baby makes me so freakin weak  ’ ‘  i’m that one guy on spongebob always screaming about his leg  ’ ‘  remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life  ’ ‘  i just want someone who’s excited to make out with me and text me all the time.  ’ ‘  never apologize for your giant dogs getting overexcited, if i get taken down by a 100 pound mass of fluff then that’s how i go.  ’ ‘  when i figure out how to die without hurting my mom’s feelings it’s over for me, bitches  ’ ‘  THIS GUY JUST ASKED ME WHAT MY NAME WAS AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE SAID SO I SAID 4:45  ’ ‘  my blood is glow stick juice. thats why all my bones crack when i move.  ’ ‘  are cute dates and rough sex too much to ask for  ’ ‘  honestly, my goal in life is just to be a very warm person. i want to be as loving and as kind as i can be.  ’ ‘  just a small dumb bitch…. living in a lonely ditch  ’ ‘  you’re not selfish for wanting to be treated well  ’ ‘  when y'all fake conversations in your heads do you sometimes say random sentences out loud too? i was just tying my shoes and said very sternly and loudly “i DO know how ants work, fucker”  ’ ‘  true space facts: if u look up there it is  ’ ‘  anyone else bummed they have 2 sleep alone tonight and uh not in some1s arms  ’ ‘  how am i sensitive and a bitch at the same time  ’

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❛  fight  because  you  don’t  know  how  to  die  quietly  .  ❜ ❛  i’d  rather  die  on  my  feet  than  live  on  my  knees  .  ❜ ❛  i’ll  get  over  it  ,  i  just  gotta  be  dramatic  first  .  ❜ ❛  you  don’t  get  to  be  surprised  that  nobody  gives  a  fuck  about  you  after  you’ve  worked  so  hard  to  alienate  the  entire  world  .  ❜ ❛  i  wouldn’t  be  like  this  if  i  knew  how  to  not  be  like  this  ,  okay  ?  ❜ ❛  i  had  to  fight  like  hell  and  fighting  like  hell  made  me  what  i  am  .  ❜ ❛  i  will  be  brutal  .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  want  to  be  soft  anymore  .  i  want  to  be  bloody  knuckles  and  glass  shards  and  i  want  people  to  be  afraid  of  hurting  me  .  ❜ ❛  bring  them  to  their  knees  .  head  bowed  and  fists  bleeding  —  make  them  repent  .  ❜ ❛  is  this  what  i  get  for  loving  a  god  ?  ❜ ❛  you’re  a  weapon  ;  and  weapons  don’t  weep  .  ❜ ❛  i’ll  survive  .  somehow  i  always  do  .  ❜ ❛  the  things  that   used   to  make  me  cry  just  make   my  hands  shake  and  my  eyes  blank  .  ❜ ❛  i’ve  begun  to  understand  why  god  died  .  ❜ ❛  i  speak  violence  .  ❜ ❛  it’s  not  my  fault  i  have  my  father’s  eyes  .  ❜ ❛  judge  if  you  want  ,  we  are  all  going  to  die  .  i  intend  to  deserve  it  .  ❜ ❛  i  need  to  kill  you  .  ❜ ❛  i  will  continue  to  watch  you  rot  .  ❜ ❛  i  wasn’t  born  to  be  soft  and  quiet  .  i  was  born  to  make  the  world  shatter  and  shake  at  my  fingertips  .  ❜ ❛  you’re  not  a  nice  person  ,  are  you  ?  ❜ ❛  when  i  punched  you  .  that  was  when  i  first  felt  something  for  you  .  ❜ ❛  if  you  don’t  terrify  people  a  little  bit  then  what’s  the  point  ?  ❜ ❛  i  could  tear  you  apart  if  i  wanted  .  ❜ ❛  do  not  tell  me  what  i  can  and  cannot  do  .  ❜ ❛  i  can  and  i  will  .  watch  me  .  ❜ ❛  no  one  made  me  .  i  made  me  .  ❜ ❛  take  a  breath  ,  spit  out  the  blood  in  your  mouth  ,  and  get  back  up  on  your  feet  .  you  still  got  a  couple  motherfuckers  to  prove  wrong  .  ❜ ❛  here’s  what  i  know  ;  i  will  die  only  by  my  own  hand  .  ❜ ❛  i’m  everything  you  can’t  control  .  ❜ ❛  i  am  violent  ,  and  bitter  ,  and  ugly  inside  and  out  .  ❜ ❛  i  am  being  perfectly  fucking  civil  .  ❜ ❛  goddamn  right  ,  you  should  be  scared  of  me  .  ❜ ❛  you  are  losing  my  interest  ,  and  that  is  very  dangerous  .  ❜ ❛  if  i  can  still  breathe  ,  i’m  fine  .  ❜ ❛  i  will  do  what  it  takes  to  survive  .  ❜ ❛  if  karma  doesn’t  hit  you  ,  i  fucking  will  .  ❜ ❛  don’t  be  sorry  .  i  trusted  you  ,  my  fault  not  yours  .  ❜ ❛  i  wonder  if  life  smokes  after  it  fucks  me  .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  have  to  prove  shit  to  you  .  ❜ ❛  i’m  not  tearing  down  my  walls  for  anyone  again  .  you  want  to  know  what’s  inside  ?  climb  .  ❜ ❛  i  am  mine  .  before  i  am  ever  anyone  else’s  .  ❜

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‘  you  were  made  for  begging  ‘stay’ .  ’

Christine Farmer

— Conrad Aiken, from Landscape West of Eden (I). (via megairea)

Red Autumn Aesthetic 1/?

❛ They say revolution is messy, and I’m okay with that. ❜