General: 1. Type 1 or type 2? Type 1 2. Self-dx or professional dx? Professional 3. Are you currently hypo/manic, depressed, mixed, stable, or not sure? STABLE! 4. Do you have any other mental illnesses/disorders? My doc says borderline, but I disagree 5. When did you first start having symptoms? I spent the majority of my adolescence depressed starting starting around 13. Hypomania around my freshman year of college. Full mania within the last year. 6. When did you realize/learn that you have bipolar? I was diagnosed May 2014..but looking back, hindsight is 2020 and I can see that I presented with the symptomology before I got an official diagnosis. 7. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? I was treated for unipolar depression for about a year before my diagnosjs was switched. 8. How self-aware are you on a scale of 1-10? I'd say about an 8 or 9 9. How many people know about your bipolar disorder? It used to be VERY few. But I have a bad habit of telling people about my bipolar whenever I get manic, so more people know. I'm also just becoming more comfortable with who I am, my disorder included, so I'm somewhat more open about it. 10. Are any of your family members bipolar? None have been officially diagnosed. 11. Name three fictional characters you relate to and/or headcanon as bipolar. I don't have any Hypo/mania: 12. When hypo/manic, do you get euphoric, dysphoric, angry, creative, social, or several of the above? I get euphoric for sure. I'm SO excited and feel like I could take on the world. Also very social. 13. What has been your longest hypo/manic episode? This past Spring/Summer was wild and when it boils down to it, I was basically manic for the whole month of May. 14. Have you ever had a psychotic episode? What symptoms did it include? No 15. What kind of impulsive decisions have you made? I tend to make the same impulsive decision every time I get hypo/manic. I like to drive. I will get up and leave..typically in the middle of the night. This past spring when I was manic I left at about 9 at night and drove around 7 hours to Austin. Stopped because my friend wanted to get a hotel..the next morning we drove to Houston. The next day back to Austin, and the next day back home. A lot of the times though, I take off and don't take anyone with me or tell anyone where I'm going. 16. Whatās the most money youāve spent in a single day while hypo/manic? A few hundred for sure..when I did not have a few hundred to spend. 17. Whatās the longest youāve gone without sleep? About 48 hours. 18. Are you a creative type? Have you ever made a poem/song/other artwork about being bipolar? I journal, and there have been times when I've done some poetry type stuff..when I get manic I tend to want to wood burn? I really suck at it, but I do it anyway. I like to do crafty things, but I'm really no good at them. Depression: 19. When depressed, do you get suicidal, bored, anxious, guilty, or several of the above? Oh heavens, yes. 20. What has been your longest depressive episode? 2 wretched years. 21. How do you cope with depression? I don't even know? I go to therapy every week and see my doctor however often depending on how bad it is at the time to try and adjust my meds. I try and tell myself that feelings are fleeting and that It won't last forever. I drive when I'm depressed too, and that helps me. I stay around town though..it soothes me. 22. Are you a sleep-all-day depressive or an insomniac depressive? Do you overeat or lose your appetite? It depends on the episode, but typically sleep. There was a large chunk of my two year depression where I was sleeping up to 16 hours a day. Other times I can't sleep. Appetite is the same way. Sometimes I feel like a bottomless pit and sometimes I don't want anything. 23. When is the last time you cried or had a breakdown? I had a depressive episode about two months ago that lasted about a month and that whole month was a giant break down. I cried everywhere you could think of..coffee shop parking lots, taco shop bathrooms, parks. I was having breakdowns maybe 3-4 times a day. 24. Have you ever self-harmed? Yes 25. Have you had problems with substance abuse? No 26. Have you ever attended AA/NA/etc? No 27. Have you ever attempted suicide? Yes 28. Have you ever written a suicide note? Yes Other symptoms and treatment: 29. Do you ever dissociate? No 30. Do you ever have hallucinations? If so, what are they? No 31. Do you see a therapist? Do you feel like itās helping? I'm about two months shy of being in therapy for 3 years..I have a wonderful therapist. I feel that I've come a long way since I started. 32. Are you on any medications? Do you feel like theyāre helping? I am taking medications. They are crucial to my stability..without them, I am either manic or depressed. 33. Have you ever been hospitalized? No, but there have been times where I probably should have been. 34. Have you ever attended group therapy? No. 35. Have any of your symptoms gotten worse over the years? I have progressively gone from just having hypomania to having full blown mania..it seems that maybe each episode gets a little more intense. 36. Have any of your symptoms gotten better over the years? During my two year depression I also had a terrible crippling anxiety, but that has gotten much better. Typically, the only time I ever feel anxious is when I am depressed. 37. Do you have a favorite coping method? I've gotta say driving..it's not the best one, but it's what works for me. 38. If you could choose to be neurotypical, would you? I don't know..I'm on the fence. This last episode of depression really got to me and I kept getting upset thinking about how this was always going to be my life. It would always be interrupted by these I welcomed bouts of depression or mania and it makes it hard to be a functioning member of society. But on the same token, being bipolar has given me so much insight and I value that.
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