always rolling

THIS IS SO FUCNKING FUNNY

OMG

*acid rain plays in the background*

​get u a man that looks at u the way chance the rapper looks at obama

Describe your perfect date in detail.

ideal date: it happens

What is my perfect date? I break into Tiffany’s at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It’s priceless. As I’m taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It’s her father’s business. She’s Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don’t trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he’s the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She’s been waiting for me all these years; she’s never taken another lover. I don’t care, I don’t show up. I go to Berlin. That’s where I stashed the chandelier.

lmao doing the most

the loop quality on this vine is good enough to excuse its author one (1) murder and still get into heaven

this movie fucked me up real bad

Date a boy who is supportive of whatever your body looks like no matter what

um. This isn’t a suggestion, it’s like. the bare minimum of what they have to do 

^

Sleeping next to someone you care about is probably one of the best feelings in the world.

If you hear a bad story about me. Understand there was a time where I was good to those people too.