what if i ...............
Not today Justin
Cosmic Funnies

#extradirty
DEAR READER
One Nice Bug Per Day
todays bird
hello vonnie
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

@theartofmadeline

romaâ
Show & Tell
Misplaced Lens Cap

Love Begins
almost home
Today's Document
we're not kids anymore.
styofa doing anything
AnasAbdin
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
seen from Venezuela
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seen from Netherlands
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@murdertrick
what if i ...............

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:o i remembered my login !!
so I might be bringing this guy back  ( now I finally remembered his email )Â
BLOODBORNE SENTENCE STARTERS ( CHANGE PRONOUNS / TENSE ETC AS NECESSARY )
Youâre a beast hunter, arenât you?
We are hunters, the both of us.
Well, thatâs most unfortunate.
If you have a change of heart, you know where to come.
There must be oodles for us to share.
May the good blood guide your way.
Good to see you safe.
Thereâs something I want to tell you.
There must be some safe place to run off to?
Around here, you are the only one I can turn to.
You understand, donât you?
I knew youâd come back for more.
Whatever happens, you may think it all a bad dream.
Didnât you see the warning?
How did you get in here?
You have the whole night to dream. Make the best of it.
I have nothing more to offer.
This night is long, but morning always comes.
Remember yourself. You are not a beast.
Isnât it time someone put you out of your misery?
May you find your worth in the waking world.
Do the Gods love their creations?
Would you ever think to love me?
I do love you. Isnât that how youâve made me?
What a mess youâve been caught up in.
Prepare yourself for the worst.
My glory days were long ago now.
The sweet blood, oh, it sings to me.
Itâs enough to make a man sick.
It will be a long hunt tonight.
You neednât concern yourself with me.
I can wait. I wonât be afraid.
Iâve much better ways to pass the time.
Donât you have work to do? Go slit some throats.
Do you think I owe you something?
Donât you come near me! I know your type.
What, you think Iâm a beast?
Heâs not to be trusted.
Not even death offers solace.
Have mercy on the poor bastard.
Throw yourself to the wolves.
My god is lost to me, so I must find another.
On a night like this⌠I took you for a monster.
Thank the stars youâre fairly normal.
This whole place is falling apart.
Do you hear the graveyard murmurs?
                                     me: [lying] honestly

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miiserably:
âIâd think about it.â
[ she replies perhaps too easily. myrtle watches, one brow raised as he looks  her up and down. sheâd kill to read his thoughts, but she doesnât have that  kind of power. myr is pleasantly surprised when he notices the power she   does have. it proves that alistair the enchanter is paying attention. she  wonders what his real name is⌠]
âDid you expect anything less, I thought that might impress you. Itâs                       a good parlor trick, anyway.â
[ even a drop of absinthe can put the fear of god into her better than mass  can. she doesnât decline, instead wonders why sheâd be willing to get  quite intoxicated with this strange man. maybe itâs the niceness of the  knowledge that sheâs no longer alone. magic isâ itâs uncommon and  thereâs a small part of her thatâs so pleased she neednât hide it. ]
âIââ
[ her struggle to form a cohesive sentence as he approaches her at a  startlingly quick pace fades into a quiet smirk. myrtle tilts her head up and  she realizes how perilously close her lips are to his. her hand darts out,  grabs the glass from him and she steps back, taking a sip. ]
âBetter. Youâre certainly a sight up-close.â
        â Did you come here only to flatter me? Or were you hoping Iâd offer you a job? â
Thereâs something sweet about her aura, itâs like honey to the magician; alluring and mouth watering, heâs drawn to the flickers of magic like a moth to a flame. Stepping willingly into the arms of death, simply for a taste. He still stands close, head tipped with that same BOYISH grin she has him wearing so easily.Â
Magic swam between the fumes of alcohol, waves struck him and drew him deep under the liquidâs ravenous dark. He might find it hard to tell the difference between intoxication and his immediate adoration for the woman, but Jon would take them both into his arms like an expectant friend; they were both welcome.Â
He turns, his eye seeking and locating another bottle hidden beneath his dressing table. Jon could not quite recall if he had finished the last or not, a concern as it left his hand a mere moment ago, but found no harm in opening another. The clink of the bottle neck triggered an involuntary twitch of tired brown eyes, unnoticed by the showman given the onset of his intoxication.  â Because Iâd LIKE to. Iâd like you to be my assistant... what's your name? â
@criedhard
HELLO FRIENDS!!!! so, just like last year, myrtleâs eighty-seventh birthday snuck the fuck up on me! so i decided iâd do like i did the year before and celebrate you guys with a long overdue bias list. i never thought iâd get to 1.1k again after the move but here you all are, being wonderful and supportive! thank you so, sooooooooooooo muchââââââ stay lovely.
iâd like to give a special shout-out to SATURNÂ ( @homestripped ) for being the very best friend a girl could ask for. sheâs why my alias is now jupiter and sheâll always be my scary-cool planet mom! i love you, babe!
and iâd ALSO like to give a shout out to CAT & MOUSE ( @dear-indies ) who work tirelessly to make rp less of a headache for us all. you guys are fantastic, thank you so much for your efforts!!!
â.・.:* THE LOVELIES: aka the people who i love to bits!!!  .・.:*â
@peakyblinder / @exagent / @murdertrick / @notfoul / literally all of beaâs blogs | @bornbastard | @reactoring | @mutxntrage | @witandcharm | @progrcmmed | @adellaenchanted | @freedomgeneral | @ofmonticello | @skilledquill | @energetia / again, all of irisâ blogs | @willbeshot | @neophyted | @flightlessgothamite | @ignte | @aintashes | @asundrop | @viiduam | @firstavcngcr | @defenestratio | @oftarth | @clearliquors / @ovalbound / all of nannieâs amazing blogs, too!! | @heelscrossed | @pureironking | @alleyspat / @idlevalor / all of lizâs hot as fuck blogs, as w ellllll | @negctiating | @roguesmolder | @manavva | @fewkarats | @theskeptiic | @bvrnie | @bvtlittle
â.・.:* THE CUPCAKES: aka the people whom i love to see on my dash ! .・.:*â
@amoralborn | @bloodiedwolf | @purrsuasion | @madehiswar | @hcwtovogue | @elderwandskeeper | @ensuespurity / @immondente / @darkestdeals / georgia i need to make ruby now that youâd made rumple youâre dRAGGING ME TO HELL | @peacemaiden | @unveilingtruth | @whatsthesiitch | @datseabass | @jdliebgott | @kingslcigh | @kiillshot | @lionswrath |  @battlewrought | @nobodiesgovernor | @neverparted | @atomsgrandzealot | @gammamade | @showmaxter | @lordiism | @leadtosin | @engliishgentleman | @xgenome | @halfhell | @swordriven | @swordgiven | @yxtes | @carisiisms | @cadaverics | @vigiilance | @vitess | @woodcrowned | @perilist | @raisedglass | @thecapitoldarling | @thedevilscourt | @thneedingÂ
gif meme: Hugh Jackman + Sexiest On-Screen Kiss (requested by anonymous)
a peaceful walk in the woods really relaxes me. the fact that Iâm dragging a body should be irrelevant.

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atlasleuth:
â    well  ,  magic  tricks   ARE   one  huge  lie  .  or  ,   my   experience  showed  that  .     â   ah  ,  she  speaks  of  the  many   [   alleged   ]   haunted  homes  sheâs  toured  ,  given  the  promise  of  leaving  with  racing  pulse   &   the  inability  to  breathe  .   (   spoiler   :   none  of  this  had  happened  .   )   â    iâm  not  easily   impressed   ,   iâm  afraid  .  why   that   trick  in  particular   ?   any  reason  behind  it   ?     â
      â I'm HURT kid, really, youâre breaking my heart. â
But it was true, mostly. Basic card tricks, all that boring shit, were simple and easily understood if you knew what to look for, there were no lies sprouted from the mouth of the magician for the audience to fall victim to. But most would claim they could perform true magic, these were the lies. They were all, as Jon would spit to anyone whoâd listen, full of SHIT. He could perform real magic, but his career would be ruined if that were to be widely known. That, and his tendency to maim or kill before the eyes of an adoring audience.
      â I hate card tricks. Hate them. Card tricks are for boring fucks, I like getting my hands dirty. â
Take a Bow - Muse
nightsire:
           â doves⌠beautiful creatures. theyâre rather adroit when trained properly. â he clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. â i assume you work very closely with them, being a professional magician and all. i pity your belongings, sir. they say that bird droppings are good luck, but i have my doubts. iâve always had an awfully terrible day when iâve been defecated on. â
            he snorts, mainly to himself, pondering on the manâs second question with dr. sweetâs characteristic humor and warmth twinkling in his deceptive eyes. â humans are a tricky bunch. some of them are just wonderful. others can be⌠unsavory. in general, though, i quite like them. â dracula flashes his sharp teeth in a smile. â iâm afraid i donât know nearly as much about humans as i do other animals. i tend to leave that to the other doctors. â
       â Some, I must give the audience some of what theyâd expect from a great magician, even if I find the traditional tricks a little droll. â  he kept few, rarely used them in his shows if he could help it. He didnât care for spilling their blood, perhaps Jon was a tad â backwards â, he much preferred a splash of red from a human limb to brighten the dull cream of his casual attire.Â
Itâs natural to stare, heâd tell himself, and as pointed teeth are exposed Jon cannot help the glance made before he forces his gaze downward. His smile still lingers, Jon thinks him a most fascinating creature, and not so unpleasant in company. He bends somewhat to reach the short occasional table, and collects the newly filled glass of absinthe between eager fingers so it might be drawn closer towards his awaiting lips.  â So does it bother you? What I do to people on stage? â
nebesnvy:
â it would depend on what you label as magic, i suppose. â the russians were certainly superstitious, although sonya wasnât certain whether or not one could classify the witchcraft many healers practiced as MAGIC. â i have to admit, i do not remember hearing about many magicians in moscow ââ though i cannot say the same for st. petersburg, monsieur. â
she fumbles with the folds of her gown, cheeks still rosy. she hadnât expected to be so fond of his act; natasha had thought it would be a magnificent event to experience, and so sonya had blindly gone along with her. hesitant as she was, she finds her stomach still cartwheeling, adrenaline still flowing through the blood in her veins. it all looked so âŚÂ real. â are you thinking of taking your routine to the rest of the world? truthfully, i imagine you would be well-received anywhere you go ! â
Itâs a thought, he might extend any tour heâs ever able to achieve  ( he prays fame is a goal easily met )  across the world should there be a call for it. A chance to taste new cultures whilst impressing the world with brutal tricks that, should the truth be exposed to the GRINNING and cheering audience, would terrify the vulnerable. Thereâs a kick to be had in impressing the masses with murder.
His thought is interrupted, but he smiles as his gaze falls upon her. Cruelty and magic aside, heâs truly glad to see her reeling from the performance. Jon thrives on the cheers of the masses, one cannot be shocked when they discover the height of his pride.
         â Then perhaps I might, Iâll gladly take the honest words of a sweet woman. â

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magicstaiined:
@murdertrickââ¤
          â   Alistair?   â  he asked, not that Marco was under the impression that a  stage name was realââ  nonetheless, he wouldnât miss a face considering how many he kept for  HIMSELF.   â   My father took me to see your shows when I was younger. Watching you⌠ taught me a lot.   â
If anything made the magician feel old, it was THAT. It took him a moment to smile, a small curve, and take it as some form of a compliment. He turns, hazel eyes look him head to toe, he means to read him as best as tired eyes would allow. Heâs curious, in what way did the great magician teach the small boy? Tricks, or true magic? Â
        â Iâm pleased to have inspired a new generation. What do you do? â
castouthomeless:
Smike did work, but this man was correct: the young man did not work for him. Adorned in his robes as the APOTHECARY of Romeo and Juliet, he cut a most strange figure among the decorated finery and circumstance of the magicianâs crew. As far as he could remember, he had been following Nicholas and Miss Snevellici down the street, all three on their way to do a small performance for a small crowd in a different theatre because, as Mr Crummles said, they needed to draw in a larger audience. Evidently, Smike had wandered into the WRONG theatre altogether.
He clenched his hands together, lapsing into his habit of being frightened at this manâs rough tone of voice. âAhâah was, trying tâ find thâ theatre,â Smike explained, blinking and stuttering. âForâforâfor, the theatre, company. Misterââ He flounders a bit, the name not rolling off his tongue as easily as he thought it would. âFor Mister Crummles!â
This oneâs a NUISANCE already, but Jon stands in wait of an explanation. With his top hat still upon his head he appears taller than usual, though Jon stands at an intimidating height already. His stare might worsen the lost thingâs nerves, and he prayed it would. London consists of a great deal of competition to his work, itâs the age of the showman, and EVERYONE wanted each otherâs secrets. It had crossed his mind that perhaps this one might be a spy, a damn good actor playing the part of a stuttering mess to seek Alistair the Enchanterâs most prized secrets.
And so he would show no concern for him. He nears, nodding as though he understands the poor thingâs predicament, but Jon is close to striking the trembling figure.  â You're LOST? What a pity that is, I suspect there is someone looking for you? â