gio

guess what… it is

believe it or not… it’s part of a sensory neuro exam where patient closes their eyes and have to differentiate between a sharp and dull object (it’s still done in my country at least, idk if other countries have different ways)

sorry

mommy

sorry

mommy

have any of you seen the recon cat and guardian lifestock dogs in tiktok? there’s like a black cat and 3 guardian dogs who’s job is to protect sheep from coyotes at night… it’s so interesting seeing them work together and communicate

from the videos what i gathered is even if the dogs do a lot of the work with scaring predators away, the recon cat goes out of the fence at night to lure coyotes out of their spot and maybe catch a scent to give to the dogs so they could locate them better… it’s so interesting, i swear give it a watch

link: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS5wwFHTc/

LIKE WHAT IF

JUST IMAGINE

Angela as Recon Cat

Shayne/Amanda/Damien/Tommy as the Guardian Dogs

There’s some border collies that herd sheep so that could also be Courtney/Chanse/Spencer/Trevor/Arasha

OBVIOUSLY they don’t have to be animals… this could totally work in a secret service or military setting… if only i could have the attention span to actually get this going

*these are characters, these drabbles are not based on real life, it doesn’t reflect their personalities. The smosh cast are real people with real experiences and I am not speaking for them

**trigger warnings include: domestic violence, child abuse, child neglect, parental death, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, divorce… please scroll away if any of these trigger you.

Origin and how they met

Damien, 25

Damien was a teenager when his father had passed, leaving behind him and his mother. His mother eventually remarried to a man, whose (ex)wife had left behind a toddler son. He doesn’t mind his stepdad, he was a great father to both him and his son, Trevor (20 yo present time). He made decent money and it took the workload off his mother for the first time since his father died.

Damien went to university at 18, where he first met Shayne (25 yo present time). They shared a dorm room together and found out that they were technically cousins (Damien’s uncle Anthony and Shayne’s uncle Ian are happily married). Damien is still in contact with his parents, he (and Trevor) fly to visit them every couple of months.

Damien is openly neurodivergent, he got diagnosed during his time in uni, researched all about his conditions and what he needed to manage them. It was pretty difficult to find jobs, his circumstances needed him to be in a space where he was not only comfortable, but also passionate about the subject. He ended up with a career in voice acting and streaming and through that, tries his best to remove stigmas around mental health and disorders.

Trigger warnings apply to the next few paragraphs, please skip if required

Spencer, 22

Angela, 22

Spencer and Angela are fraternal twins, but they might as well be identical if they weren’t the opposite genders. It was alright at first, they were a happy family, they had a stable income to afford proper education for the twins, a couple trips to disneyland every few years, a family van, a 4 bedroom home. Until their father gambled everything they owned to bankruptcy, then the gambling turned to alcoholism, and then drugs, and then violence… and that was that.

Their mother left when the twins were 12, with bruises littered all over her body and a promise to come back to get them out when she’s more stable, both mentally and financially. They’ve never even gotten a word from her since.

Things turned from shit to shittier then. Their twin beds in the opposite side of the bedroom turned into a bunk bed in the corner, mattress worn and lumpy, sheets stained with tears and dried blood. Milk for their cereal turned into beer bottles of all sizes in the fridge, some half-filled but mostly empty, food became a scarcity in the house and their diets turned into whatever their father leftover after dinner. Instead of ‘playing doctor’ they got to do the real thing on each other, applying ointment on their bruises, icing their sprains, cleaning and bandaging cuts. Trips to Disneyland turned into trips to the ER when they were old enough to do so without needing their father, “Oh, he got kicked playing soccer and needs a couple stitches on the eyebrow.” “She fell rollerskating and broke her wrist.”

The only thing they had going were their educations, because according to their father “No scum kid of mine is not going to university.” And once they did get the chance to go, they never came back.

Angela met Damien in uni, having sat next to him in various classes despite not being in the same major or even year. He was the only one that didn’t stray away from her dark broody persona, instead going toe to toe with her in snarky remarks. He was the one that helped her come to realize her own neurodivergence, he provided her with his resources and guided her through the diagnostic process. He was the first one (aside from her twin brother ofc) that she showed her scars to, both emotional and physical; he cried for her that day, but still managed to make her laugh anyways through his quips.

Spencer met Shayne through their love for the “nerd shit” as Angela says it to be. Shayne at that time had met Angela through Damien, only to realize that she was the same girl that caught his eye in the acting/theatre extracurriculars. He decided to, as a new and good friend of the two, set some people up and got the biggest surprise of his life when Spencer and Angela “met” and revealed that they were twins (of course incomplete without them messing around with him for a few days) (Damien figured it out within a day, just looked at them and was like “damn they could be twins” “Oh.”).

Coming up

The next few drabbles should be more lighthearted, might put some dynamics or first impressions and stuff

they’ve always been gorgeous, but the new instagram post from tommy, in the second slide AWOOOOGA

“we’re both straight” ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF AS YOUR THIRD

okay… if i am ever to make a smosh family au, this is what the dynamics are probably going to look like:

*they’ll be in their early to late twenties in this, some have jobs, some are still in uni, some are doing both at the same time. The age range is not as it is in real life.

**Also they’re not all related, they come from different backgrounds, this could be read as an adopted family AU, or you could consider the “core” family as cousins who ended up forming their own family.

Ian and Anthony are either the funcles or their dads, i was leaning more towards funcles but angela is literally their child so… They just saw these kids that needed a home and a safe place for them to stay and be themselves without the weight of the world upon their shoulders and decided to give them that AND more. They’re the reason these kids learned what a family truly is and the kids are eternally grateful for them

Damien and Shayne as the 2 oldest brothers, not twins just really really close in age. Damien is more laid back, he would defend their siblings conversationally “hey i don’t think that is nice to say”, just overall less confrontational. Shayne however is incredibly protective of his siblings, he won’t exactly resort to throwing punches, but his verbal jabs would ensure that no one talks shit about or to his siblings. Nobody bullies their siblings but them is literally their motto.

Spencer and Angela twinsies, they’re nerds in their own spaces (video games and theatre), one’s more reserved, the other’s very loud, but they could switch on random days. They are the most common victims of their siblings’ antics (well angela is… spencer sometimes joins in to bully her too), but could and would clap back very, very hard and roast the shit out of everyone. They give hard middle child energy, the perfect medium between the oldest and the youngest.

Trevor as the youngest brother, got the athletic genes in the family, loomed over everyone once he hit puberty, the brother that would mess with everyone, pull pranks, tease them to death, but would also have so much love and respect for his siblings. Him and Damien do a lot of the cooking in the household with the occasional pasta night from Angela and Shayne usually bakes treats for them. Spencer will burn instant ramen, so he’s not exactly allowed in the kitchen.

now we insert their friends and their dynamics…

Courtney, family friend turn sibling (except for Shayne: family friend turn partner). Have been there for most of their lives, even before the youngins came into the picture. When Angela had found out that Shayne and Courtney were dating, she had pulled Shayne aside to give him the big brother talk. She was like “Shayne i swear if you hurt them i will *insert angela-sized threats here*” and Shayne was like “i’m literally your brother, why are YOU giving ME the talk?”

Olivia and Keith as Shourtney+Damien’s closest friends. Olivia could also pass off as Shayne’s cousin. They just hung out in the house so much that the kids view them as their older siblings too.

Amanda, Shayne’s childhood best friend, everyone was so enamored by her when she was first brought in to meet the family that they begged Shayne to invite her back and she stuck ever since. Spencer and Angela is particularly close with her; Spencer will play games while they watch, Angela and Amanda will gossip or discuss true crime while Spencer listens and gives his input.

Arasha, that friend who is good at everything she does, never got in trouble because she could just talk her way out of it. Integrated into the family so easily, could even pass off as one of Ian and Anthony’s child. The girls immediately formed a little group when she started hanging around, basically the boys’ worst nightmare. They managed to convince Trevor and Shayne that Angela got a boyfriend, in which they freaked out and spent a full week trying to figure out who it was only to find out that the hand she was holding in the picture was Amanda’s.

Tommy, Amanda work husband, they met in uni, but ended up working the same job. Amanda thought he would be a great addition into their group, in which to everyone’s surprise he already knew Spencer and Damien. He had introduced everyone to their first drinks when they turned of legal age and still is everyone’s go-to-guy when they need a quick pick me up.

Chanse, Angela’s best friend and basically the third twin. They met in the theatre club at school but ended up bonding over their sorry love lives after getting stood up on their respective dates at a bar. Clicking on the spot, the two became inseparable even coming out of the closet to their siblings/friends together. These two could have a screaming match one minute and cuddle each other to sleep on the couch the next; never a dull moment with them.

i maybe could turn this into an actual fanfic on ao3… or an smau on twt, but idk, let’s see how it goes first

i will most likely continue writing drabbles in tumblr, you can probably expect:

- origin stories, where each kid came from, what familial relationships did they have/do still have, backgrounds

- the start of this family, childhood stories, their dynamics as little children

- uni life, how they met their friends, their first love, first impressions, discoveries about themselves

- shipping/more dynamics between the characters; leaning towards amangela and trevrasha, shourtney is of course mandatory

angela giarratana x androgynous gf headcanons

slightly nsfw

part 1- how you met, dynamics, and daily life.

How you met:

You meet in the club, her wandering eyes catching yours from the bar and she motions for you to sit by her side with a small pat on the adjacent stool. 

She turns away to face the bartender once she confirms that you’re walking past the sea of drunkards towards her and stays staring at the wall of decorative liquor.

You choose to play her game, ordering 2 of “whatever the pretty lady is drinking” to the bartender and sliding 1 towards her without batting an eye.

You both finally fall in conversation and it clicks. She reels you in further and further into her and you catch yourself staring deep into her big brown eyes as she rattles off about her sickly old dog. Your drinks stay untouched on the table, slowly turning lukewarm, both of you too lost in each other as the bar finally slows down and you’re alone with the cleaning staff.

You fight over the bill, hands grabbing wrists and almost knocking each other off your stools. She finally wins after giving you a smooch on the lips, delicate hands cradling your face, eyes fluttering close, cheeks flushed as your neurons frizzle down your torso. She pulls away with a smirk, tapping her card on the reader before you could regain your bearings.

You end up walking her home and kissing her in the doorway. It doesn’t exactly lead to anything, but you exchange numbers in hopes of meeting each other again.

She texts you first, rambling a thank you for today and that she had fun and that she can't wait to meet you again. You end up moving in with her after the fifth date.

Dynamics:

Angela’s animated, she’s loud, she’s wild, but she’s soft, she loves with all her heart and she breaks sometimes, she’s everything you’ve ever wanted and you’ve never craved for someone more when you’re away from her.

You’re the oxygen to her flame, you encourage her to fight for herself and her ideas, you keep her boat afloat when she’s feeling insecure, you shower her with praise when she does well and give her advice when she doesn’t. 

You tend to dress more androgynous and some days she can’t help but do the same. When it happens on a late night out, you both find it entertaining to make out at the club and catch everyone off guard.

You get flustered very easily, especially around her. She likes teasing you about it, light touches on the upper thigh, trailing her foot up your pant leg under the tablecloth of a fancy dinner date, sliding hands up your shirt whilst pressing her chest against your back.

You also know exactly what it takes to fluster her: size difference. She flushes a beautiful red when she sees your hand splayed against her torso. She likes when you manhandle her, when you jerk her out of a random’s way while walking, or when you pick her up and push her into bed, or when the bed isn’t in reach and you pin her up against the door.

Angela knows how sexy she is and she uses it to her advantage. Need you to do something for her? Wear that little white tank top that highlights her arms and neck too well. Too engrossed in your job? She walks around the house, particularly in front of your desk, wearing nothing but that skimpy black piece that hugs her curves and doesn’t cover much of her skin. You end up doing everything for her anyways… after you ‘deal’ with her of course.

You also play her game— rolling up sleeves to show off the tattoo on your forearm, wiping sweat by pulling up your shirt after a run around the neighborhood, cheffing up the kitchen in nothing but an apron and sweats. She jumps your bones every single time, even after a particularly long night.

You’re both possessive of each other. She’s just a little more open about it, politely telling off someone hitting on you with a “She has a girlfriend.” and grabbing your hand when she catches too many eyes looking at you. When someone is a little too persistent, she pulls you down and whispers something downright filthy in your ear. You end up leaving the venue earlier every time.

You’re loud in actions and not words, pulling her into your arms and kissing her to an inch of her life when someone gets a little too touchy. You look like her guard dog, towering over every stud that tries something. You love when she doesn’t bother concealing the mark you sucked into her skin, especially when she accents them with a necklace of your initials. 

Daily life:

You’re always busy in your high risk high reward job that leaves you exhausted enough to fall into your tiny girlfriend’s arms. She allows you to blanket over her figure as she runs her fingers into your hair. It’s what you always look forward to doing after a long day of work.

Angela was hesitant in telling you about her job and the privacy (or lack thereof), but it doesn’t bother you one bit and you find yourself laughing at her videos with her. You do visit her at the office when you have the time, everyone starts whistling and cooing at Angela’s flushed face every single time.

You cook for each other everyday, if you make breakfast, she makes dinner and vice versa. Both your allergies and preferences are listed in a small sticky yellow note on the fridge. Grocery shopping is not a chore but a date; you now have a pun for each item on the pasta lane.

Angela makes sure your cats are fed and you do the same for Spork. The cats took no time warming up to her and it was all it took for you to know she was the one. It takes you some time to remember each of Spork’s ailments.

A kiss before anyone leaves for work is mandated, sometimes it leads to something more and you both end up being late for work. One time you actually forgot and you both felt so incomplete that you drove to the office just to give her a peck.

To be continued…

A snippet of texts:

Ange:

Ange: he loves me more You: NO WAY You: you must have bribed him  You: BETRAYAL! You: *Set photo as home screen*

You: