Feelings always come back to haunt me

Is this my hard drugs arc?

I think about you all the fucking time

It all comes rushing back at once and my misunderstanding of your insane misuse of cocaine is terrifying and all too real. I'll see you sometime but in the meantime, can you forgive me? Its so fucking hard. This is so fucking hard. I'm so terrified. I don't want them to come and get me. You protected me. I can't be protected, there. I hope you understand. It all hurts so much. I want nothing but for people to understand me. I've always felt like this in my life, always outside of everyone else. The facade of those friends I once held so close to me has me lost in translation to whatever fucked up language you're speaking. You're gone, I have to accept that. But what if it never happened like this? It's going to keep happening. Everyone I used to love is going to die. And I get it's like this but why does it have to do with changing your reality every single day because you can't live with the fact that THIS IS LIFE. everything is shit. There is no changing it. You have to accept it. You are so wrong. I am unbelievably angry. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the situation. I can't help it. Are they too much in their own shit to realize what's really happening? Life doesn't mean to suffer. You have to start living at some point. I live in fear. I know you forgive me. I forgive you. I'll always forgive you. Please watch over everyone. Understand with me that we can't save everyone.

i hate this love shit i wish i was a snake

im a fuckin whore jesus christ