ok i tried accepting just being ugly & disgusting and a hon and hideous and just being fine with it & indifferent to it and just trying being happy anyway
but i clearly can't, it's too much, it's too agonisingly painful and humiliating and mentally flaying, NOBODY CAN DO THIS ITS IMPOSSIBLE
even if you TRY to do it as hard as you possibly can and smile painfully with dead eyes and the entire time the same fuckers all hugboxxing you and trying to be 'nice' and calling you she etc will
IMMEDIATELY then just jump and tear you to fucking shreds for fun and try to funnel you into misery & suic
they KNOW what they're doing, it IS on purpose. they ARE just trying to manipulate you into making a fool of yourself to feel better next to you and have a lolcow hon to make fun of I HAVE CONFIRMED IT ITS NOT EVEN A FUCKING
'CONSPIRACY, ITS LITERALLY WHAT THEYRE DOING IVE PROVEN IT
months wasted spent acting like a fucking retard and idiot trying to 'accept' myself & calling myself a troon & she and her and shit, and still entire time getting pelted with fucking insults and 'just jokes hon lol' and seeing fucking attention fishing passoids all making fun of and ripping into old ‘femboys' who look FUCKING IDENTICAL TO ME OR BETTER THAN ME WHILE STILL LYING TO MY FACE THAT 'ohh noo you totally look cute & feminine hon!'
fine, fuck it, im a fool, retard, gullible joke, fucks had their laugh at me making me into an even lower more subhuman lower form of target for them to feel better next to & have something to feel better about themselves by having lower than them
but now it's over, enough, jokes finished, im a loser and pathetic and a joke and ugly and disgusting and laughable and everything else, but im not gonna willingly make myself a joke anymore for the bottom of society to just have someone even lower than them
back to repressing, im a mentally ill male with the most pathetic laughable mental illness disorder on earth, but im still a male, i at least can still live as a normal male in society and not be a subhuman freak joke, so those fucks can laugh at & make fun of me but at least i can still walk away & be normal unlike any of you freaks. i still win
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