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YOU BROUGHT THE FLAMES AND YOU PUT ME THROUGH HELL, I HAD TO LEARN HOW TO FIGHT FOR MYSELF AND WE BOTH KNOW ALL THE TRUTH I COULD TELL I’LL JUST SAY THIS IS I WISH YOU FAREWELL. I HOPE YOU’RE SOMEWHERE P R A Y I N G!!!!!!!!!

I am exhausted, Of wading back and forth. Treading the tiring waters, Of an almost lover, Who never quite shut the door.

Tell me, how long do you hold onto a memory? How do you decide between the pain of remembering and the pain of letting go?

This is the weird aftermath, when it is not exactly over, and yet you have given it up. You go back and forth in your head, often, about giving it up. It’s hard to understand, when you are sitting there in your chair, having breakfast or whatever, that giving it up is stronger than holding on, that “letting yourself go” could mean you have succeeded rather than failed. You eat your goddamn Cheerios and bicker with the bitch in your head that keeps telling you you’re fat and weak: Shut up, you say, I’m busy, leave me alone. When she leaves you alone, there’s a silence and a solitude that will take some getting used to. You will miss her sometimes…There is, in the end, the letting go.