Doug's Blog

11:55

OMG everyone I know the ACTUAL story behind the gif this time! Yes, it’s in Australia– that’s a big angry goanna that wandered into a popular restaurant. All the Australians in the vicinity went OH FUCK NO and cleared off, because goannas are mean. The waitress you see there is a French exchange student, who was quoted as saying something to the effect of “I thought it was a weird ugly dog” and had no idea it was a reptile that wanted to rip her arms off. She’s been hailed as a hero who saved diners.

Australia is a fucking weird place

What the fuck typa dogs they got in France?

We should fear this guy

ohhh no thank youuu I’ll pass on that cliff thing 

did he just go into the water with shoes on?

he just rolled backwards off a cliff and your only question is why he still has his fucking shoes on

but his shoes will get soaking wet

Damn it I can’t find a source anymore but I used to hear anecdotes that the breath of a river dolphin, from its blowhole, smells like pure shit, like the rankest fart ever.

I have a coffee table book full of firsthand wildlife art and descriptions written by the artists, and wouldn’t you know, it definitely says that their breath “smells strongly of excreta” which is a fancy way of saying that River Dolphins have Shit Breath