BDSM + Swing

I recently made a helpful translator for men to understand their cunts. This is a guide for cunts to know how to behave. These are simple rules, read and memorize to be better.

Your asshole is the hole men want. It is natural for your ass to take cocks, sometimes more than one. Does it hurt? That’s your problem, not his. Shut up and take it. Do you want lube? No. You never want lube.

Your mouth is your second best hole. Cock goes in your mouth. Words should not come out, unless asked to speak. Train your throat so you can take cocks deeper. Finger your throat or use a dildo regularly until you have no gag reflex. Make your throat as inviting as your cunt or your asshole.

Also, your mouth is for swallowing. If a man puts something in your mouth, you swallow it. Whether it’s cum, spit, piss, some combination of them, you swallow every drop and thank him. Sometimes these fluids will come from another girl’s mouth or asshole. This does not change the rules.

Your cunt is not for fucking. Your cunt may be fucked once in a while, if your mouth and ass are already full, but realize that the man is doing it reluctantly. Just in case a man has to use it, shave or wax your cunt to make it pretty. Your cunt is mainly for slapping and whipping to cause you pain or humiliate you.

You are bisexual if a man wants you to be. You will play with other cunts on demand. If you are asked to eat a girl’s asshole, you eat it like it’s your dinner.

Don’t be afraid to be messy. You are more attractive when covered in bodily fluids. Wear lots of makeup and intentionally smear it with cockslime. The messier you get, the more pleasing it is to look at you.

The more cocks you please, the more useful you are. Ask your man to invite his friends and make you the entertainment. Let them destroy your holes and cover you in cum and spit and maybe even piss if you’re lucky. Lick the mess up off the floor to show how grateful you are. And don’t clean up right away until they all take pictures to remember the fun.

Never say no to something a man wants to do. It is not your place to refuse sexual acts just because you don’t want to do them. If something seems too dirty, degrading, or painful, you’re wrong. Do it and smile.

In four easy steps! (No particular order)

1. Respect him. Listen when he speaks, and never interrupt. Ask for his advice. Let him be the one who makes the final decision, and make sure he knows you will defer to his judgement. Keep your opinions to yourself, unless he asks.

2. Satisfy him. It is important to fulfill your man’s sexual desires. This doesn’t just mean being sexually available. You should be actively engaged in trying to please him. Wear things he likes, be open to his fantasies, and initiate contact. A healthy sex life is one of - if not the most - important things to a man. 

3. Serve him. Make sure his practical needs are met too. Cook for him, clean for him, do his laundry, and make sure he is constantly being served. He should come home to a clean house with dinner on the table.

Many who first come to view and explore the community of BDSM on Tumblr, enter with the incorrect assumption that they are entering a world with very informal relationships, as well as making certain assumptions about D/s types. What follows is a list of common misconceptions, and the truth behind them.

1. Submissive girls are up for grabs.

Submissive girls are either in a relationship, or they are not. If they are, they belong to no one but their own Dominant. No others have rights over them. If they are single, Submissives may choose to pursue relationships with their choice of Dominants. During this time, they belong to no one but themselves. No others have rights over them.

2. An existing relationship is no impediment for pursuing a submissive girl.

Most in the D/s community are monogamous. While some couples choose to find playmates, and some individuals are polyamorous, the law of the land is, if you see someone is already in a relationship, look for your next one elsewhere.

3. Submissive girls like to be called terms such as “princess”, “kitten”, “pet”, and “slave”.

These are terms of affection that are earned by a Dominant. Submissives do not want to be called these names by anyone they have not submitted to.

4. Submissive girls like to be referred to as “whore”, “slut”, and “cunt”.

Wrong again. Submissive girls who are into degradation like to be called these names by partners they choose, or by their Dominant. When a stranger uses one of these titles, it just feels like disrespect.

5. I can treat submissive girls any way I wish.

Just because they like to give up control, does not make them unworthy of your respect. In fact, they are due respect in spades for enabling Dominants the ability to explore their half of the power dynamic.

6. Dominant men expect others to hit on their submissive.

While some might enjoy being shown they have something that others want, the vast majority of Dominants prefer that their relationship be respected, and you keep your desires to yourself. Not sure is a submissive girl has a Dominant? Try asking.

7. There is nothing wrong with asking any submissive I meet to be my submissive.

D/s relationships require a high level of trust, which takes time to earn. Asking someone you just met to be your Submissive, is like asking that girl who you talked to a few times, that sits behind you in math class, to be your wife.

8. There is nothing wrong with asking any Dominant I meet to be my Dominant.

Again, it is entirely inappropriate to ask someone you just met to be your Dominant. Why would you give a near stranger such a high level of control over your day to day life?

9. Submissives are all alike.

Every submissive wants to do BDSM the way it works best for them. While many hold common traits, each is unique.

10. Dominants are all alike.

This is also incorrect. Not only do they each have their own appetites, but they adapt from relationship to relationship to provide the care and fill the needs of their current submissive.

I thought I would update the list of BDSM links and resources I posted a while ago, as some links were no longer working and I had several new ones to add, including a list of books. These should be particularly helpful to those who are new to BDSM and looking to explore D/s relationships, as the best way to go about that is to first read everything you can and then read even more! Not only will this allow you to educate yourself, help keep you safe and avoid any potential mistakes or regrets, but also the more you understand something, the less intimidating it will seem.

If you have anything to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I will update this list, in particular if there any books that a submissive might find helpful or informative, as most of the books I have read or included are intended for Dominants.

Note: For the sake of consistency and readability, I have used capitals throughout this document and have not used lower case when referring to submissives or slaves.

Websites:

Babygirls ‘n’ Daddy Doms: Website dedicated to littles, babygirls and Daddy Doms, with a lot of useful information on the subject.

Collarme: A free BDSM dating website and community, that is probably the most popular and a better option than the commercial alternatives.

DS Arts: Academy of DS Arts, fairly self explanatory.

Evil Monk: Ambrosio’s BDSM Website, featuring many useful articles.

Fetlife: An online BDSM community that I would highly recommend and which is perhaps best described as Facebook for the kinky, allowing users to create a profile, publish photos or writing and join interest groups where you can ask questions.

Kink Academy: An online resource with many educational and instructional videos on various aspects of BDSM, although users must pay a small fee to access all of the content.

Submissive Guide: As the name suggests, this is an online resource for submissives.

The Iron Gate: A general BDSM online resource, with many aticles, essays and even stories on the subject.

Dating and Relationships:

10 Principles For Healthy 24/7 D/s And M/s (Source: sexgeek.wordpress.com)

Difference of Dynamics in BDSM (Source: the-little-kitten.tumblr.com)

Finding Your Dominant (Source: asubmissivesjourney.com)

How To Find A Partner (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 3 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

So You Want Your Boyfriend To Dominate You (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate Her (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

The Unfortunate But Common Misconceptions About DD/lg Relationships (Source: a-lolitas-life.tumblr.com)

Play:

Consent Is Mandatory And Non-Negotiable (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

Food Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

Initial Steps Into Orgasm on Command Training (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Rules and Tasks for Building Confidence (Source: themostdangerousplaything.tumblr.com)

Tools of Consent in BDSM (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Training in D/s - Why? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - How? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - Thoughts And Concerns (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Wax Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

Safety:

Basics Of Safe, Sane And Consensual Power Exchange (Source: Molly Devon / the-iron-gate.com)

Common Sense (Source: Sean R. Powell / the-iron-gate.com)

Emotional Safety (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Offline/Online BDSM Safety Rules (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Ouch Is Not A Safe Word: Safe Words, Limits, and Scene Protocol (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Rules For Meeting Strangers (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Safewords and Safesigns 101 (Source: kinkology.tumblr.com)

S.S.C. VS R.A.C.K. (Source: Justin Medlin / the-iron-gate.com)

Checklists, Communication and Negotiation:

BDSM Play Partner Check List (Source: Sovereign House / the-iron-gate.com)

BDSM Scene Negotiations (Source: daddyvinnie.tumblr.com)

Can I Get That In Writing: Basics of Negotiations (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Communication (Source: submissivesupportgroup.tumblr.com)

If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Negotiation Forms (Source: Jay Wiseman, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction / greenerypress.com)

What Are Negotiations Good For? (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare:

Aftercare for submissives (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Dominants (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Switches (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Emergency Self-Administered Aftercare (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Sub Drop (Source: David Williams / subshelpingsubs.tripod.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare (Source: desires-of-a-domimant-man.tumblr.com)

Dominance and Dominants:

A Dominant is NOT… (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dom (Source: Washington Sexuality University / the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dominant (Source: cherhatton.tumblr.com)

An Open Letter To A Novice Dom (Source: evilmonk.org)

Qualities of A Successful Dominant (Source: Polly Peachum / the-iron-gate.com)

Daddy Doms: They’re Not What You Think (Source: edenfantasys.com)

Domination for Nice Guys (Source: Franklin Veaux / the-iron-gate.com)

How To Spot A Non Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Learning To Be A Dom (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts - Part One: Dominants (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

The Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Daddy Dom? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

What Makes A Good Dominant (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

What Should A Dominant Be (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Submission and Submissives:

10 Considerations For Inexperienced Subs (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

A Submissive Bill of Rights (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Creed (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Ethics (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Introduction To Submission (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

Learning to Trust Your Instincts (Source: bewildbetruebekinkybeyou.tumblr.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts- Part 2: Submissives/Slaves (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Some Rules For The Submissive (Source: daddylookingforhisbaby.tumblr.com)

Submissive Owner’s Manual (Source: youmadememe.tumblr.com)

Ten Tips For The Novice, Heterosexual submissive Woman (Source: Jay Wiseman / the-iron-gate.com)

Warning Signs for Submissives (Source: RC Bauer / the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Babygirl? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

Books:

BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr Charley Ferrer

Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details II: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Mastery Refine: The Issues, The Skills by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details III: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Sustainable Structure and Traning by LT Morrison

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs

Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams

Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402, Living in Harmony by Robert Rubel

Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel

Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillp Miller and Molly Devon

SM101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman

The Control Book by Peter Masters

The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren

The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino

This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters