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I’m not entirely sure.

You see, tumblr was something that I’ve fallen into the way you stumble (heh) into a new world - without planning, without any idea of how much it would open up who you are. It was like infatuation, when you suddenly find yourself caught up in the way someone’s lip curves when they smile or how their face squishes in unguarded laughter, when you become brave and surprising to yourself. It was exciting to find new ideas, see the honesty in relationships that did (and at the same time did not) look like mine. Finding a community of people that were much better at it than me taught me so much - about joy, about communication, about vulnerability and how it’s not wrong to decide what you want your life to look like and to build it in that image - as long as you do it with integrity.

Building a better relationship with my own body and finding freedom in what and how I chose to share gave me more agency over expressing my sexuality. Finding the kind of porn I liked and erotic images that resonated with me was eye-opening, but meeting people who were authentic and unabashedly open about their desires allowed me to explore that within myself. I’ve learned about what I wanted and what I haven’t been allowing myself to want through tumbl, and for that I am so grateful.

I’ve met some of my dearest friends through here, and while I know that we’ll remain close as tumblr as we know it ceases to exist, it breaks my heart to think of connections that could have been and will not - because of how close-minded and cruel this change is. Nudity is not shameful. If someone expressing their sexuality threatens your worldview, you should think long and hard about what that says about yourself.

All this to say I don’t know what the next magical world will be. It’s heartbreaking, but it will be ok. I’ve let go of places before that were nourishing at the time - chat rooms, journals, blogs - places that have helped me along with understanding who I am and what I want out of this life. I’ve been very good at letting go, but I wonder if the next lesson is how to hold on. For now, you’ll be able to see me in Heart’s pictures, and maybe I’ll go back to some of my existing spots. I used to have Twitter, but that was years ago. I had a spot on Wordpress, but that was for some introspection. I still haven’t figured out Snapchat, so it’s a way to find glimpses of people I adore and play around with filters. I’ll find something.