FLR

 As you are reading this website, I am assuming your husband or boyfriend has told you that he wants to try something called male chastity play with you, or you have heard about it somewhere and have suggested it to him. Either you have found this website through a search engine, or you have been sent the link. Your first reaction probably was surprise. Why would he want chastity? What  does he want me to do? 

Step 1: relax! When you read through these paragraphs   (I kept it short, I promise!) you  will understand why chastity is a fun, exciting idea for the two of you to try. You may find it’s simply that - a fun game to spice things up in your sex life. You may also   find that male chastity brings a new closeness and renewed desire to   you as a couple. Before you continue reading, make sure you have nothing  else planned for a little while and that you are not distracted by   anything. Relax, take your time, and try to be as open-minded as you can.                                          

To get started, I recommend reading this 101 article. You will need to make notes - digitally or on paper, as to do this properly there are some things you need to choose and then write down.                                           

After this 101, I do recommend you read through subsequent articles linked here, as there is more detail on some key topics, and the more you know, the better you will be at this!

But… First, what is male chastity play?                                           

Simply put, the man uses a so-called chastity device to lock his penis,  and then he gives the key to his partner, making her what is called a “keyholder”.  Chastity devices are sex toys made of plastic or metal that lock around  the penis, making it impossible for him to masturbate or get an erection. In chastity play, the keyholder  (you) has the power to decide when to unlock the device and when to  allow him sexual pleasure. That can be five times a day or five times a  year. The ‘game’ of it is the transmission of ‘power’ regarding his sexual pleasure.                                           

You may not typically be the ‘dominant’ sexual partner in the relationship, but in chastity play it is essential that you assume this position - even if you are just acting or role-playing initially until it becomes the norm. He is not giving you inanimate metal keys - he’s giving you possession to his sexual release and the position of power. Enjoy it! Embrace it and take charge.                                           

I have always  felt that being well informed about something enables you  to do it well. There is a lot on the internet on chastity, and there are several internet forums and chat rooms which seem to start up and die  down as people move around. I have communicated over the years with over  two dozen wives who keep their husbands locked. I have met several of  them in person and the one thing they all agreed on was that the benefits of chastity for their husbands were incredible. It may amaze  you, as it did me, to find out that so many men and women use chastity  as part of their relationship, really more than you could imagine. There  was a Canadian newspaper article in 2019 stating that 6% of men are  caged with the key given to their wife. This just goes to show that male  chastity is less rare than you probably thought and there is a lot of  it being practiced, probably by some of your girlfriends.       

There are two major types of chastity - ‘play’ and ‘lifestyle’. Play is relatively short term and used as part of sex play and diversity. Short term, in my view, falls into the category of 2-week to 3-month lock ups. This is where most couples’ chastity journeys start. It’s vital that the first lockup is at least 2-3 weeks, and is 24 hours a day for that period. Read why here. No 'nighttime only’ or 'daytime only’ - the lockup period must be erection and orgasm free.

Even in short term play, chastity has to be  a 24/7 thing. 24/7 is the foundation; it is the  most positive/enjoyable/effective because the cage is a constant reminder about the power exchange. Most of the day, the male will forget about it and only be subconsciously aware that anything is different. However when they do get a tingle of sexual excitement - for whatever reason, Boom - they are reminded that their erections (and more importantly, sexual release) belongs to you. That’s what’s fun about Tease and Denial (T&D). Life  goes on as it always has, employment,  financial, family issues and decisions are all still there. But it’s a little secret you two share - a fun,  slightly ‘naughty’ way to mix up the relationship’s ‘sexual  dominance’.

What are the benefits of Male Chastity?                                    

The  motivation why a couple would want to begin with male chastity play is straightforward: It is simply a sexual   fantasy or sexual experimentation to mix things up. With the dramatic   rise in popularity in chastity play over the last five years - with   story arcs in mainstream media (Californication), articles in The Independent, Cosmopolitan,  Vice…), it may have piqued their interest as something fun to try.

he  large global movement called “Locktober” is practically everywhere, and is an  entry point for many males and females who want to experiment in this  way.                                          

 Or it is a matter of circumstance that allows for a different style of sexual ‘play’ - long distance relationships, work trips or  other reasons where vanilla lovemaking is limited/not possible.                                           

For  males, chastity play can be very VERY exciting. For the male, chastity play is about having a relationship   where male orgasms are limited but erotic heat is abundant. As part of the game, he  is giving up something that is a very standard part of a male’s life,  his freedom to masturbate. Young men have an abundance of testosterone,  so masturbation doesn’t  seem to interfere with their pursuit of young women. However, as men  grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband losing  sexual desire for at least a couple days. Male masturbation can create  an emotional  barrier in relationships and allows a man to remain somewhat  disconnected in a very selfish and self-serving way. Chastity puts a  stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it  changes his mood, demeanor and libido.                                           

Males in chastity will almost always have   increased energy. Noticed he hits the gym more? Trimming the body fat? Need less sleep? More productive? Yup. Other changes will likely happen too. He will be more focused and task-oriented. Most  importantly it changes his desire to please you.  This is because as he continues to build up his sexual energy that he  no longer has the ability to release as he pleases, he will divert that  energy towards pleasing you - especially if he has asked you to be his keyholder, rather than you coming up with the idea to keep him locked. His non-stop offers of massages and oral  sex are a very  welcome side effect of the redirection of his sexual energy.                                           

What do I actually ‘do’ as a Keyholder?                                           

Chastity is just that, chastity. There is no need to entertain other kinks your husband may have if you don’t want to. In fact, it is likely  that your husband doesn’t even expect you to do anything more than hold his key. Just be yourself and do what you want. It doesn’t have to  become a time sink and your life doesn’t need to revolve around your husband’s desire for chastity.                                             

As counter-intuitive as it might sound, when you take away a man’s erections, orgasms and his ability to play with his cock whenever the mood strikes, he finds it very arousing. Chastity is a huge turn on.                                           

The sexual frustration a chaste man feels is intense, so intense he experiences a euphoric high from the change of control. That is why a guy becomes super-focused on his partner and the extreme arousal coupled with sexual frustration is what makes the chastity game so much fun for couples to play. The more aroused a locked male stays, the more he likes it. Teasing is what keeps a guy’s arousal at high levels.

Being a keyholder involves:                                           

1. Holding the keys and controlling when and how release takes place (see links)                                            2. Setting and communicating your keyholding rules at the start of the first lockup.                                            3. Teasing - to keep arousal in peak state throughout lockup.

Let’s look at some of this in more detail.                                           

Teasing                                           

You don’t have to be an expert at sexual teasing or spend loads of time  learning how to become one. Chastity with teasing keeps the arousal and positive energy / endorphins / oxytocin at ideal levels. Chastity without teasing will lead to frustration and grumpiness - pretty soon the game will be up.                                           

So, teasing is essential to keep your  husband’s arousal peaking, but there are plenty of simple ways to do  that which don’t require a lot of time. It’s important to remember that you and not him will be the one making  the (bedroom) decisions once he is locked. There are no fixed rules how  often you should test him, unlock him or let him ejaculate, and chastity does not  need to change your everyday life, certainly not outside of the bedroom.  I would suggest you give it a try and then just go with the flow.                                           

Teasing Ideas                                           

So how do you do ‘teasing’? I don’t mean making fun of him. We’re not in middle school. I mean  turning him on, only it’s teasing because he can’t get hard, let alone  have an orgasm. It’s the ultimate cock tease and it makes chastity play  so much more satisfying for you and your man.                                           

The great thing about male chastity play is how little effort it takes you, as the keyholder. My ideal teasing effort is 2-5 minutes a day, or every second day… mix it up. Make it a rule that he is not allowed to ask for it. In bed at night, roll over and tease for a bit. Then say goodnight. Other nights - do nothing, say nothing. That is half of the fun - for you and for him!                                            Look at the list below and jot down some of the ones that appeal to you…                                           

Some simple teasing ideas: 1: Non-physical - Talk about it: Talk about his chastity cage. Tell him you like how it looks, how tight it must be, how full his balls look… Ask him to show it to you as a 'cage check’ at random times… The simple act of talking about it will drive him crazy! Men are hilarious. - Choose his underwear for him. Tell him to wear a particular color, or tell him to wear the tight white ones, the compression shorts, swimsuit… or no underwear today…whatever. You’re taking control, and that’s hot. - Tell him to sleep naked every now and again - Even wear some sexy outfits and parading around will drive him crazy!                                           

2: Physical - Play with his balls. Even while locked, his balls are exposed, unless you have a full chastity belt where the balls are locked too. With his cock locked, his balls become infinitely more sensitive. Stroke / tickle to start, but then squeeze and pull. Then slap. Start slowly and build up the slapping in intensity, and tell him to tell you when to stop. Then start again..! Women are way too gentle with balls in general - most makes prefer far more rough play than they let on. Let him guide you if you are unsure.

- Play with the Cage: while most cages do a great job of making erections and orgasms impossible, playing with his cage is a great way to tease him. If it’s an enclosed cage (better in my view) then he will not be able to feel anything at all if you are stroking it - but he will imagine it and it will blow his mind. Any exposed parts will become hyper-sensitive, so touching them or poking/licking… you name it - will drive him the best kind of crazy.  

- Kissing:  It’s the fastest way to turn him on and he’ll never turn it down. Even  though he knows his cock is going to ache because it can’t get hard, he  loves to kiss. For added heat, hold his cage / balls while kissing.

- Body contact: Make him worship your body – This is an absolute must when he’s locked  up. He craves your body. He craves you. Have him worship it. Have him  kiss you all over. Have him give you a massage.

- Nipple play: men’s nipples are almost 5x more sensitive than female nipples. With his cock locked, his nipples will heighten in sensitivity further. You may have even noticed they stiffen or harden more quickly or for longer than usual. Play with them by using nipple clamps, clothespins or even just by pinching and squeezing. Be careful, some locked males have been known to cum from just nipple play alone!

- Shower with him: Ask him to rub lotion on you or whatever you prefer. Being locked naked with you in the shower will blow his mind. - ‘Have and Hold’: If you want to unlock him as part of teasing, a fun one is to make him stand next to the bed or across the room, and unlock the cage. Once the cage is off, he is not allowed to touch his cock. He will almost certainly get hard. You carry on with reading or whatever you were doing and tell him to inform you when he has gone soft. Make the odd comment and watch to see how easily you can make him react. As soon as he is soft, tell him to relock the cage.

- Anal play: You may know that men have a P-spot near their prostate which is similar to the female G-spot, although most hetersexual males never use it. My husband is not into anal play, so I don’t have much experience there, but there are some incredible resources out there if it’s your cup of tea!

- Finally, if you want to play with his cock while unlocked as part of teasing, I’ll drop some notes on the ‘Release’ over here. Focus on edging and the touchless release (if you really want to give him a treat). Remember - teasing means no cumming. A little bit every day or every couple of days will form the foundation of your chastity play!                                           

Basic Keyholder Rules                                           

At the start of the first lockup, you need to set rules. Writing them down and send them to him on email or text message is the easiest. That way he has them at all times. And send them to him at work while he’s locked and you will really get him squirming! Or you can inform him in person. These are your rules and are not a discussion - he has asked you to be the keyholder, so he must play by your rules or you call the whole thing off.                                           

The most typical rules for keyholders are as simple as this:                                  

The Wife can choose the chastity device.                                           

It’s not called a cock or penis or whatever when it’s locked. Come up with a name for his locked cock. Tell him that is what it is called from now on. The most common name is  'nub’, so feel free to use that. And it’s 'your’ nub, your balls etc, not his. Make sure he gets that right.                                           

The Wife will hold the keys to the chastity device and will not make them accessible to the Husband.                                           

The Wife decides when the Husband will be unlocked, allowed and erection, or allowed release. Separate the concept of 'unlock= orgasm or'unlock=erection’. In most cases it’s none of those.                                          

The Husband will not ask for release and there will be no discussions about chastity unless the Wife brings it up. Infringements can be extending lockup or some other forfeit ;)                                           

Chastity play will not intrude into the Wife’s daily life or restrict her own sexual satisfaction.                                           

The couple will give chastity a try for at least 3 months. First timers should lockup for 3 weeks at least and then evaluate / discuss. The keyholder does not have to (and should not) tell the planned release date. Keep him guessing.

That’s it: give it a go!                                           

Sex is a wonderful part of  a relationship and I am an enormous advocate. Sex shouldn’t be the  basis of interactions with your significant other. Locktober is a  challenge to put his sex drive aside and experiment with a new kind of sexual play. During  locktober, he will remain locked in chastity for the entire  month of October.                                           

What is the point?                                           

You might not have considered it, but have you ever thought about how  your sex life affects your mood? On some careful research and thinking  about your own behavior, you might come to conclusion and discover a  relationship between sex and mood. Indeed, upon some in depth research  we have concluded that the relationship between one’s mood, and sexual  activity and orgasm are not considered to be the greatest of mysteries.  Indeed, there is a well-researched scientific basis on understanding the  biochemical mechanisms that occur before, during and after sexual  gratification. In this article, we will explore the relationship between  the brain, sexual release, and the science behind male chastity. This  in turn, may help you answer some of the questions that you might have  had which concerned male chastity, or they might lead to a flurry of  research whereby you can explore male chastity in new and profound ways.  As we have mentioned elsewhere, to reduce male chastity to the denial  of orgasms is simplistic and doesn’t accurately reflect male chastity as  a whole.                                           

The brain is a complex organ and we understand that it is driven by a  number of varying neurotransmitters which we can hold accountable for  changing our moods throughout the day, and indeed over the course of our  lives. But there are only a couple of these neurotransmitters which are  also involved with sexual activity; these three being dopamine,  prolactin and oxytocin. Men and women can be said to have distinctly  different patterns and responses to these neurotransmitters and the  argument behind that is that it centres on our ability, needs and  desires to procreate as well as to raise our off-spring so that they too  can survive long enough to procreate. Why don’t some people feel this  need or urge? Well that relates to the fourth factor which is the  concentration of receptors for those neurotransmitters and this in  particular relates to how the human body handles dopamine.

Let’s break  down these three neurotransmitters and how they affect our body, and our  responses to sexual activity before we move on to how that relates to  male chastity.               

What is Dopamine?                                           

Dopamine is commonly associated with the brains reward and pleasure  centers. It can cause feelings of pleasure if we partake in certain  activities, such as sexual activity, the consumption of calorie rich  foods, the ingestion of drugs, or other behaviors such as shopping and  gambling. Dopamine is often referred to as the addictive hormone –  people with low dopamine levels have been shown to have higher risks of  suffering from addictions. Surprisingly, it is dopamine which is also  partially responsible for Parkinson’s disease which sees people with a  dopamine deficiency potentially developing the illness. The intense  pleasure that we obtain from orgasms is as a result of dopamine flooding  our reward centers in our brain during sexual activity.                                           

Normal/Elevated Dopamine Levels: Normal levels of dopamine can result  in motivation, contentment, an ability to gather pleasure from  finishing tasks, optimism, kindness and good natured feelings towards  others and bond with them as well as a healthy libido.                                           

Low Dopamine Levels: Lower levels of dopamine can result in  depression and an inability to function within the world due to a lack  of ambition and drive, it can also result in an inability to feel  certain emotions such as love, and often manifests itself into impaired  judgement, lack of remorse and social anxiety. Low dopamine levels also  adversely affect the libido.                                           

What Is Prolactin?                                           

Prolactin is an interesting neurotransmitter and it is named after  its ability to affect lactation levels in women. This neurotransmitter  has over 300 uses within the body, but it’s effects on the orgasm are  well researched in comparison to other uses. An orgasm, through either  physical sex or masturbation, will result in a large amount of prolactin  being released into the body. It is this chemical which results in a  better mood following sexual activity, and can last for over an hour.  Prolactin and Dopamine rely on each other for context and control when  it comes to sexual activity. Prolactin in men directly affects the  refractory period before they can maintain an erection and engage in  sexual activities again. The older that you get, the more prolactin is  produced in men. Males with a deficiency in prolactin are often able to  engage in sexual activity multiple times within a very short amount of  time, or they will not lose their erection after climaxing.                                           

Excess levels of prolactin are commonly associated with irritability, decreased testosterone, and a substantial loss of libido.                                           

What Is Oxytocin?                                           

Often call the love drug – oxytocin is responsible for the feelings  of trust, connectedness, closeness and protection. A burst of oxytocin  is produced during orgasm and it is often attributed to the afterglow  that we feel post sexual activity. Oxytocin is released during all forms  of intimate activity, which includes touching, hugging and caressing.  After orgasm, in men, the levels of oxytocin quickly plummet until they  are below where they were before sexual activity, whereas in women it  will lower itself much more slowly, often remaining higher than it was  initially. The reasons for this remain largely unclear, though  speculation exists that it is linked to ideas of empathy and is a  necessary part of bonding, child birth, and child rearing, this also  means that post orgasm that women are far more likely to let their guard  down and fall in love.                                           

Normal/Elevated levels of Oxytocin:- This is the love drug after all and as such elevated levels will result in strong and powerful feelings of emotion, a sense of devotion and   closeness, an increased sense of positivist, and feelings or protection and responsibility.                                           

Low Oxytocin Levels:- Sees a reduction of feelings of attachment and connection, it is also   responsible for low libido and depression, as well as a reduction of   empathy towards others.                                           

How Does This Affect A Man In Chastity?                                           

The first orgasm after lockup will be super intense. After that, should you wish to have normal sex for a bit with him unlocked, he will have much more staying power than the first post-lockup one. That’s why we call it the ‘release’. Done right, and he will be ready for action very soon, with little need for the 'refractory period’ that usually follows the male orgasm.

Go Slow!

On release days, his excitement is so high that bringing him to climax can take as little as a few seconds. This is about “release” - after weeks locked up he will not be able to last very long. Sometimes he will cum just by taking the cage off… In which case, job done 😂.

However, your boy’s worked hard for this - so I typically try to draw it out a little bit and let him really enjoy it.

Me First!

I usually start by having him bring me to orgasm as usual - with his tongue, hands or a toy. Now it’s his turn (for once!). Now he’s really, really in the mood.

Now You

First decision - do you want him to have his release while in the cage or unlocked?

Caged:

Here, it’s about balls and nipples. I recommend one hand plays with his nips while the other pulls, squeezes and strokes his balls. Then begin tapping his balls at a regular rhythm, building intensity slowly. Tell him he has permission to cum… Keep tapping and in a few minutes he will come to the edge. He is to ask permission one more time before he about to cum. As he is coming, tap / slap harder until he is finished.

Another easy caged release technique is to use a vibrator or vibrating massager. Place it against the base ring of his cage near his balls. In a few minutes, the 'vibes’ will do the trick.

Unlocked:

Take off the cage, grip his balls tightly and pull them away from his body, back and forth. Try to touch his nub as little as possible. At most, use a slow, infrequent stroke with a single finger from the base of his nub up the shaft to the tip. He must ask permission just as he is about to cum. At this point, stop all contact with his nub, tighten your grip on his balls and pull them away from his body and hold them there until he is finished.

Added Tips

Tip 1: Communicate with him! If it’s going too quickly, stop and tell him 'not yet’. If he’s squirming, getting his own hands involved or doing something you don’t like, tell him to lie still. If you want him to reach the edge, tell him 'good, keep going’. You get it! It seems unnecessary but he’s in a highly obedient mode and he will find it super hot.

Tip 2: If you do unlock him for release, i suggest re-locking directly after he orgasms. This significantly reduces the “drop” he will experience after orgasm and will push him through the 2-3 day grouchiness period much smoother. My man loves it if I put the cage on him, but if you prefer he locks himself, straight after his release, firmly tell him that it’s time to go back in the cage.

If you decide to not re-lock or if your release window is a few days, communicate this to him and be specific - i.e. “We are re-locking in 3 days. No touching. Enjoy!”

A girl doesn’t feel like playing all the time and chastity gets sort of ruined if you let him out every time you don’t feel very frisky. On the other side of the spectrum, simply ignoring him while in chastity is actually the most cruel, effective punishment for a locked man who is not behaving or who is constantly breaking your rules.                                           

So what do you do to get through the dead spots (for me it’s mostly if I’m really tired, stressed or busy) without being neglectful? After three or so years of playing this game with my wonderful husband, I’ve observed the following about the two of us and extrapolated it to apply to everyone since everyone else is exactly like us, I’m sure.                                           

Part of the magic of chastity play is that the male, who usually has the higher sex drive, is “playing” 24/7. He’s eating, sleeping, going to work, everything really with his penis locked up. Any stray sexual thought quickly reminds him about the game he’s playing. His keyholder probably has a lower libido but that’s okay because she just has to give him the occasional nudge to keep him at a full simmer. A little bit of attention on the days when you just don’t feel very playful will keep him happy and from feeling neglected until you’re a little more enthusiastic and ready to turn the heat up to a full boil.

Here are some of my tips for low maintenance chastity play. I try to make sure I do some combination of these every day when the nub is locked up. They take hardly any time, and I know they make him feel loved. They’re little things that get magnified in his mind by the cage.                                           

Fondle his balls every day. Ideally once in the morning and once at night. No matter how busy or tired I am, I can always find two minutes in bed to do this. I don’t even have to remove the CB. Our sleep schedules are a little different. He’s a night owl and I’m a morning person, but that doesn’t stop us. When I’m going to bed I just whisper in his ear that I want to see him in the bedroom. He never says no! I fondle his poor trapped balls for a few minutes (two to five is plenty) and then say good night. He can go back to his computer after that. If I feel like kissing a bit, I can do that, but if I don’t I just tell him to lie there and keep still while I “play with my nub” I wake up before he does in the mornings too. But he never seems to mind if I wake him up by playing with his balls! Again, just a few minutes. Enough to get a groan or two out of him and then I go take my shower or get my breakfast.                                           

Remind him of his situation. Of course he already knows he’s locked up and you have the key, but reminding him lets him know you’re thinking about him. You haven’t forgotten about him, you’re just waiting for the right time to make use of him. I’ll walk by him in the kitchen, give him a quick squeeze in front and ask “how is my nub doing? Still all locked up?” Or I might just say “being a keyholder is fun.” Or “Aren’t you lucky to have such a fabulous keyholder?” I’ve noticed that the more out-of-the-blue the comment is the bigger the impact it has on him. If he’s not really thinking about sex or expecting me to be thinking about it, mentioning his chastity jolts his libido into high gear.                                           

Take possession of his (your!) nub. Get in the habit of referring to his cock and balls as yours. Kiss him and ask “how is my nub doing down there?” Or while sitting on the couch fast forwarding through a commercial with your Tivo, casually ask him “Are you taking good care of my nub darling? One of these days I’m sure I’ll want to play with it.” If you get in this habit, then just a few words here and there add to his excitement and keep him happy and horny.                                           

Turn routine requests into chastity play - for example talk about it in terms of ‘points’ . Instead of asking him to pick up a gallon of milk on his way home, text him “Your keyholder wants to you pick up a gallon of milk on the way home.” Or say “a neck rub would earn you some much needed nub points.” Creating the fantasy that you are holding his release hostage to your whims is pretty powerful. Keep it fantasy and don’t abuse it (very much). Back rubs and foot rubs are nice even when I don’t feel very amorous, but they’re still physical things and he really likes it when I tie them to his chastity.                                           

Take chastity seriously. Don’t leave the key laying around or act like it’s no big deal if he gets out before you’re ready to release him. Do surprise “inspections” to make sure he’s still locked up. Ask him if he’s tried to get out, or tried to get at the key without permission. Use a no-nonsense manner to let him know it’s important to you that he only get out of his chastity device when you want him out. Every once in a while mention you’d someday like to get a more secure device. That keeps him from starting to doubt your commitment to the game when you haven’t seriously teased him for a while. Remember that’s he’s committed 24/7. The whole idea is he can’t check out of the game until you let him, so reminding him that you’re still in it helps.   

Muse about the length of his lockup. Sometimes I’ll tell him that I’ve decided to let him out the next weekend, then the next night tell him I’ve changed my mind and I don’t know when I’ll let him out. Sometimes I’ll tell him I’ve been wondering how long I should leave him locked up and just leave it at that. Tell him how you are noticing the benefits. No further information, just that I was thinking about it. I’ll ask him if he thinks he could go six months, or a year. If he asks if I’m planning to keep him locked up that long, I’ll just shrug and say “maybe.” It’s another verbal tease that takes very little energy from me but amps him up.                                           

None of those things take much time or energy from me. They’re easy to do on days when I’m stressed or tired or just not feeling very sexual. And they keep him feeling loved and cared for. I’ve really gotten into the habit of doing them. So much that I usually keep doing them even when he isn’t locked up. That’s not really a problem, but if he wakes up to my hand on his balls and he’s not locked up, I’m not getting out of bed without finishing what I started! Of course that just makes his lockups even more delightful for both of us.                                           

More Teasing Ideas                                           

The big changes that you must make in yourself to make a chastity relationship work is to commit to frequently teasing him, like you no doubt did when you first dated, and to having much more frequent sex yourself.                                           

Teasing does not need to be a time-consuming activity.  There are almost an infinite number of ways that you can tease him, both  physically and verbally. Every woman needs to develop her own style.  You can keep things fresh by continuing to experiment. It may seem like a  lot of work sometimes, but he will shower you with attention. The  hardest thing will be getting that much attention again.                                           

There are some basic teasing ideas in the 101 article above. Find more low maintenance examples for how you can tease him here:                                           

Be physical, give him lots of kisses and hugs throughout the day. Grab his crotch.                                           

Ask him to give you a full-body massage.                                          

You can wear sexy clothes around him, for example miniskirts, yoga  pants or whatever clothes he really likes. When you’re home you can walk  around just in your underwear – I promise you he won’t be able to take  his eyes off you!                                           

Conversation takes very little energy and allows you to increase his  arousal without having to do anything. Telling him what you like about  his predicament, letting him know how much you appreciate what he has  done to become a better spouse, partner, friend, and lover. Let him know  how his being chaste turns you on, if seeing him struggle to get erect  entertains you let him know. Maybe you find his penis cuter when it’s  all small and locked, or you enjoy his not being able to touch himself,  whatever it is communicate it. You should also not forget that all  those things that used to drive you crazy like porn and ogling young  girls can now be used against him. There is nothing like knowing that  the chastity tube is really biting as his favourite eye candy passes by.  The beauty of a good chastity device is that not only does it prevent  him from getting an erection and masturbating but that the device is  always working for you, and you should let him know how happy it makes  you.                                           

You can tease him about his lock-up time, for example you could say  things such as “it’s so hot that you can’t touch your penis, I don’t  think I will ever let you masturbate again”, “your penis looks so sexy  when it’s locked, I think I’ll keep it like that for a bit longer”,  “these balls don’t look full enough yet, let’s wait a bit more” – and  then when you finally let him ejaculate you can follow up with “oh not  much came out, I think next time you need to wait longer”. Remind him  that he’d better be good if he wants to be unlocked.                                          

Play around with his locked genitals whenever you get the chance.  For example, when he sits next to you, simply squeeze or slap his  balls. When locked, he will want his balls 'slapped’, not'stroked’. Use a flat hand and start slowly, building up intensity. Even better, use a bonger (massage ball with handle) or riding crop. Tell him at the start you want to reach 100. This is great teasing play because it takes a couple of minutes max and then you can say goodnight!                                          

Or you could give him a very frustrating “blowjob” with the  chastity device still attached – teasing him orally while locked will  drive him crazy like nothing else.                                           

Pinch / twist his nipples. Men’s nipples are almost 5x more sensitive than female nipples. With his cock locked, his nipples will heighten in sensitivity further. You may have even noticed they stiffen or harden more quickly or for longer than usual. Play with them by using nipple clamps, clothespins or even just by pinching and squeezing. Be careful, some locked males have been known to cum from just nipple play alone!                                           

Give a man an orgasm and he’ll forget it in a moment – deny him the  same orgasm and he’ll never stop thinking about it. You can unlock him  and allow him to masturbate or give him a handjob – however, at any  point (especially effective just before he is about to finish), you can  “change your mind”. Kindly tell him “let’s save it for later” or “that’s  all for now”. You may find that you have to ice down his penis to get  back in the tube!                                          

Now that you have a few ideas when to let your husband ejaculate, I will briefly discuss how you let him ejaculate. Like always this is totally up to you as the keyholder, but don’t be afraid to be creative!                                           

During Penis-in-Vagina Sex                                          

 I discourage this one because I feel that sex and ejaculation need to be separated  to avoid accidents. We have sex several times per week and ejaculation  is never expected and rarely a topic of conversation. But if you do  enjoy the feeling of him ejaculating inside you, then you can of course  go ahead and allow him. From there, I put the chastity device  back on and then we either fall asleep together or roll over and watch  TV together.                                           

Blowjobs                                           

Again, whether you want to give him blowjobs is up to you.  Even if you do, you don’t have to keep going until he ejaculates. I  personally don’t really enjoy giving blowjobs. I gave him a lot of them  before we got married, and even swallowed, but after we got married, I  gradually reduced their frequency and limited them to foreplay only.  Since we started chastity, I haven’t given him any nor do I plan to do  so – and I even like to tease him about the fact that he can only blame  himself because he was the one who approached me with the idea of  chastity. On the other hand, I know a woman who will only let her  boyfriend cum when she gives him a blowjob. Her logic is that blowjobs  are his favourite and hence, on the rare occasion that he is allowed  release, she wants to give him maximum pleasure.                                           

Handjobs                                           

This is the main method I use to make my husband cum. You want to  make it about you and not him. It’s no longer his orgasm, it’s your game  – you’ve got control of the joystick and he’s here for your fun. Here are some ideas to spice things up:                                           

Timer                                           

You can allow your husband a certain amount of time, for example, if  his last ejaculation was two weeks ago, you could give him two minutes  to cum. If he doesn’t make it in time, he will be re-locked and you can  tell him with a big grin that he was obviously not horny enough and  should be locked up a bit longer next time. Some women challenge  themselves to make their man cum as quickly as possible, which with a  sufficiently horny man may just take a few seconds! Alternatively, you  could give him a handjob but tell him to last at least a certain amount  of time. If he doesn’t manage to last long enough, he will be “punished”  (you can decide how). You can also combine this with post-orgasm  stimulation, for example you tell him you will stimulate him for ten  minutes, and even if he comes after five you will keep stroking for the  remaining five minutes.                                           

Playful submission                                           

This can be a lot of fun and you can be really creative here. Some ideas:            

Give him a handjob while you are acting extremely bored and reading something on your phone                                           

Do it while he is completely naked and you are not                                    

Tell him to put a condom on before you give him a handjob or blowjob. This also avoids a big mess, so strongly recommended!                           

Tie his hands and blindfold him                                           

Make him please you orally                                           

Make him eat it after he cums                                           

Include the balls                                           

This is something you should probably discuss with your husband  first, but it’s a lot of fun. For example, you could frequently  interrupt your stroking to give his balls a few slaps, or you could  stroke him with one hand while you squeeze his balls with the other one.                                           

Post-orgasm stimulation                                           

This is when you don’t stop stroking after he cums. When a man  orgasms, his glans soon begins feeling extra sensitive and wants to be  left alone. If you keep stroking and rubbing his glans he will be  overwhelmed by the intense feeling. You may need to restrain his hands  before! But don’t worry, what you’re doing is completely harmless. I  love the irony that he has been looking forward to a handjob for such a  long time, and now that I’m doing it it’s suddenly “too much”. Too  funny!                                           

Edging                                           

Stimulate your husband until he reaches the edge of orgasm – then  pause or dramatically slow down your play to prevent him from climaxing.  You can do this many times in a row. This is extremely pleasurable for  him, because it prolongs his pleasure and ultimately gives him a much  stronger orgasm when compared to regular sex when you finally decide to  let him pop – although, of course, you can always change your mind and  lock him back up before that happens.                                                                                       

Touchless orgasm / release                                           

This is when you stimulate him until just before the “point of no  return” and then remove your hand and stop all stimulation. If you time  it right, instead of ejaculating in “bursts”, the semen flows  effortlessly down the penis – hence they are also misleadingly called  “ruined” orgasms. If done correctly, he will still be horny afterwards  and will stay hard as a rock, still wanting more, even though he just  ejaculated. Touchless orgasms are great when you want to give him an  orgasm but still leave him horny when you lock him back up. Or, if you  plan to have an all-night love-making session but you are afraid that he  will cum to quickly, you can start your evening with a touchless  orgasm. I found this great article explaining why a touchless orgasm means prolonged pleasure for both of you and how to do it (contains explicit pictures!) – some quotes below:                                           

“The so-called “ruined” orgasm is one of the most intensely  pleasurable, toe-curling, sweat-inducing, back-arching, fist-clenching,  teeth-gnashing, brain-bending tricks you can use in the bedroom to drive  your man into an animal sexual frenzy.  It is also perhaps the least  understood and most underused method of extending and delivering  pleasure to both partners. If you can master this you will feel more  empowered and satisfied than ever. I promise!!! (…) The Name Is  Misleading: It’s Still an Orgasm! (…) A properly ruined orgasm is STILL  potentially more intense than a normal orgasm!   It’s not “ruined” at  all!  It feels profoundly different to him, but it still feels great –  especially if you use it as a tool to extend your lovemaking! (…) Don’t  feel bad about ruining your man’s orgasm!!! I simply cannot say it  enough.”   

 “Whereas a normal orgasm causes him to go limp and enter what  doctors call the “refractory period” where he is no longer motivated to  have sex, a ruined orgasm has the opposite effect – it causes him to  stay hard, fully aroused, hyper-energized, and HIGHLY motivated to have  sex. (…) But that’s not all. (…)  Simply put… a man who’s been ruined  once or twice (or more!) in a single night can fuck you harder and  longer than you ever thought possible. (…) Basically, a ruined orgasm  (or three) multiplies his sexual endurance for the rest of the night,  without reducing his desire. In fact, it amplifies his desire, because  he gets to experience a higher pleasure plateau than he would normally  be capable of experiencing!”                                           

“To bend your man’s brain and give him truly epic ruined orgasms,  you need to know his body very, very well.  You need to study his  specific sequence of escalating physical pleasure signals, to identify  the first possible moment in the sequence where you can let go and cause  him to still cascade through climax.  Arched back, tensed muscles,  grunts, whimpers, pulsing cock, retracted balls – every man has his  signals. (…) Instead of letting go “at the last second” you actually  want to let go as early as possible. You want him to hang, untouched, on  the verge of climax, for as long as physically possible, before his  body reflexively sends him over.  Do it correctly, and his cum should  just dribble out, under weak contractions. (…) With good communication,  you can find the perfect timing together, by working your way  “backwards” from the moment of his orgasm.  Start by having him tell  you, out loud, when he hits what he believes to be his point-of-no-return.” 

“Back off at exactly that moment. (…) However, men always misjudge their own point-of-no-return. (…) In order to find his true point-of-no-return, you need to study the cascade of physical reactions happening in his body in the precious seconds before he calls  “stop.”  Then, night after night, progressively work your way backward  through that cascade, stopping sooner and sooner, on your own (without  him telling you when to “stop”), until you find the point where he doesn’t climax at all.  Then, night after night, slowly and very carefully work your way forward again, until you find the point where he  lingers for 5 to 15 seconds, untouched, before leaking uncontrollably.  (…) Basically the power of his “cumshot” is a clue to help you know if  you’re doing it right (weaker is better) (…) Another huge clue that  you’re “doing it right” will be in his refractory period – or lack of  one.  After a typical good ruined orgasm, his cock should not “wilt” at  all.  He should stay aroused, erect, and eager for more action.”                                           

“Please don’t let your hard work go to waste by feeling like you  have to give him a normal orgasm eventually, don’t give in to a sense of  guilt!!!. That will just cut your night short. (…) I allow him to have  orgasms, but he can only have them on my terms.  That means… when I want  him to have a “normal” orgasm, I give him a “normal” orgasm.  The rest  of the time?  I either tease and deny him, or I ruin him.  He never  knows what I plan to do until I do it. (…) I can choose to “finish” him.   Or I can choose to “ruin” him.  He gives that choice to me, willingly,  lovingly, every time.  It is his love letter to me – the single  greatest gift he is physically capable of offering – and I cherish it.  I  respect it.  I handle it with utmost love and care.  And it makes me a  fuller, more confident, more satisfied, happier woman.  It makes our  marriage stronger, and I adore him for it. I would also like to point  out that once I mastered the ruined orgasm my husband is actually more  disappointed with a normal orgasm because of his refractory period. It  may sound counter-intuitive but a normal orgasm is actually the outcome  he likes the least, despite it being the thing he craves most  desperately when his “primitive horny brain” is in charge.”                                           

Keep him guessing.

Every single time you touch his penis, he should never know if you intend to edge him, ruin him, or give  him a full orgasm.  Lie to him.  Tell him you’re going to stop, then  don’t.  Or tell him you’re going to ruin him, then give him a full  orgasm. Or congratulate him on the orgasm you’re about to give him, then  “change your mind” and stop for the night.  This only works if you also  sometimes tell the truth.                                           

Masturbation                                           

Some women don’t like their man touching himself down there, either  because they find his masturbation unattractive or because they want him  to “forget” how to do it. But other women like letting him masturbate  as they like to watch or because they are feeling a bit lazy and don’t  want to lift a finger themselves. In any case I would discourage you  from allowing him to masturbate when he is alone (for example, sending  him to the bathroom for a quick wank); instead, he should always do it  in your presence. Also, if you allow him to masturbate, there should be a time limit (never more than a few minutes) so you can make sure he only cums when is very horny.