miss adagio blue

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐥 (pt.2)

pairing - 𝐂𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

pt. 1 --> here!!

material - angst w/ comfort! fem!reader, flashbacks, caine loves you :( established relationship caine lowkey is a grieving husband, POST-FINALE, slight AU, reverse abstraction au, reader briefly mentioned to have siblings, features unabstracted characters! yay! NOT PROOFREAD

-

synopsis - after hurdling mounds of code and 'debunking' your security software you had written in the real world, they make a breakthrough in unabstracting human files, and they find that out from you. caine is finally to be reunited with his beloved.

(pt 1 synopsis) caine strives to be a more honest host after everything happened in the final episode. when opening up about the origin of an abstraction, he reveals past connections and a fear to face reality. the circus finds hope in the possibility of being able to reverse abstractions, while caine finds anger in his hesitation to find out.

-

notes - goodness gracious i struggled. it is currently 4:45 am and i JUST finished this. ill be honest, i had a hard time figuring out how to end this fic. i often think poorly of most of my work, so this may just be my default perception of the outcome of this fic, but i feel as though the ending is a bit weak. however, i still hope you enjoyed it!

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word count ~ 4.3k

View File?

Yes / No

he was shaking.

he slowly moved the cursor.

YES / No

Now viewing script;CnACorruptedFileProtectionSoftware_2287192525663/.exe

...LOADING

hundreds, no, thousands of characters of coding flooded the screen

a bright humming erupted from the main console

pomni shuddered

kinger stepped forward

and caine froze

a strained noise caught in his throat, "i-"

he couldnt fathom what was happening. could this work? could abstractions be reversable? could kinger break down this script?

could he bring you back?

--

"well, i can alter the code to be ineffective. hopefully it can 'debunk' from human files. but it also means the circus will be unstable. it will be significantly more succeptable to bugs and glitches" kinger spoke with a certain apprehensiveness, plainly gilded in hope, "caine, i know how to deconstruct code. but i dont know how to implement a security script."

caine turns to him, urging him to continue

"we better hope she remembers how to rewrite this script."

"what happens if she doesnt?" pomni inquired, her brows furrowing.

"well, this could go one of two ways;" he pauses,

"we're able to update the decoded script into the human files, remove their protective software and free them from abstraction,"

"or, all it does is get rid of the software for the future and leaves the ones already abstracted stuck and under no protections to keep from wreaking havoc amongst the circus."

"if that happens.." he looks over at caine, who carries a look of gloom, "i- i dont know.. she wouldnt be here to rewrite it.."

"we'd be without protection against the abstracted?" pomni questions

"and bugs. the only good thing coming from that would be the inability for anyone ELSE to abstract moving forward."

"thats a big risk.."

they both look over at caine, who has decided the floor looked very interesting.

"i- i dont know what to do" he shudders

"im not certain i can- i can protect the circus anymore after i lessened my control. i dont- i dont know"

his voice sounded raw, the most human they had heard before.

"whatever happens, caine," pomni speaks up and places a hand on his shoulder, he looks up to her, "you wont have to deal with it alone. but if we have any chance at salvaging those who are abstracted, then we need to take it."

--

"the safest way to do this is to only impliment the script to her file as a copy. we can delete the original if it doesnt work."

"but if and when she unabstracts, we can ask her to create a safe version for the others"

kinger makes his way to the mainconsole and begins creating a copy of the safety software file, clacking away at the comically large desktop.

"kinger." caines voice cuts through the atmosphere sharply, "im trusting you."

he only smiles and nods at him.

somehow thats better than anything he could have said at that moment.

--

you lazily walked around the circus, it had been late at night.

you couldnt sleep, again.

the past few weeks have been rough. rougher than normal. the gravity of your limited opportunities at the circus in terms of developing through your pressumibly immortal life started to weigh down on your shoulders and steal away your sleep.

you meander towards the digital lake and take a cumbersome seat against the pixel-y sand. the moon looks down at you with a smile.

"cant sleep again, i see"

you let out a soft laugh, "you caught me"

"what bothers you, child? is it the nightmares again?"

you dont answer. that said enough.

"i commend you for your diligence, you do so well maintaining in the circus"

you smiled up at her, "thank you"

she nods slightly.

you look off into the lake and circle through your thoughts.

"he loves you, you know"

you feel a warm rush flow through your body, as you look up at her, bewilder, "wh-what? who??"

"you know who, silly girl."

"i-"

"you can talk to him about this."

you struggle to find it in you to respond to her

"i am just an npc. i have limited freedom of thought. he can be whatever he wants to be." her smooth, sweet voice left a welcoming warmth to bloom in your chest

"just because he is technically a bunch of 0's and 1's, it doesnt mean he is incapable of feeling."

"he feels for you. he talks about you all the time. how he wants to make you happy here."

"youre struggling. it would break his heart to lose you."

"i- i know, i just.." you sigh, "its hard. leaving behind my life. and thats whats bothering me. i dont want to hurt him. i dont want him to feel burdened that im not happy here. at least not recently"

she looks at you with sorrow, "child, its not up to you of he gets hurt or not. you may think youre protecting him, but youre assuming he wont understand, which is hurting you in the process. you know what he says about assuming, it makes an-"

"-@$$ out of you and ming, yeah yeah, i remember" you chuckle.

she laughs with you, before exhaling, letting out a gust of stars to litter the sky above you.

"i can tell you love him too"

"do him a favor and let him help you before he cant"

--

caine paced around the circus, he had been a nervous wreck for hours.

everyone immidiately noticed.

pomni filled them in on what their current objective in, and concluded it was best to let caine simmer a bit.

he was riddled with anxiety. he twiddled his thumbs, he pulled at his jaw, hell, he even walked around without floating!

what would he do? what would it be like having you back? would you remember him?

would you even come back? would he be faced with the reality once and for all that you were never to return?

is he putting the circus in danger? is he going to let everyone down?

is he-

"caine!!"

a sharp voice severs his train of thought, zooble can be seen hobbling their way towards him.

"dude.. youre messed up"

"w-what do you mean!? im not 'messed up', d-dude! im perfectly fine. perfectly perfectly fine!!"

not very convincing..

"youre practically burning a hole in the ground youve been circling for two hours"

he stops pacing and stares at the floor. two hours?

hes been pacing for two hours?

"its gonna be alright, man. it.. may be weird and difficult to figure out but, its gonna be okay."

he crosses his arm and pats his foot, turning away, "you couldnt possibly be sure of that.." he pouts.

"you cant be possibly sure that its NOT gonna be okay."

"you dont get it"

"maybe i dont, caine. but you gotta ease up"

"its easier said than done, you dont understand what its like. being forced to face a new reality"

"really?? i dont understand what thats like? thats been my whole LIFE here, caine" zooble quips sharply.

"look," they sigh, "ever since i got here, its been facing this odd, abrupt change in the world i spent a couple decades crafting into a world i have no business being in. if anything, we understand you more than anyone." "whatever happens, its going to cause a change. you cant sit here and let the fear of change control you."

"trust me, people only get hurt when you live in fear."

"thats how most people abstract. jax, ribbit," they paused, "and probably [name]."

he tenses. he tenses because theyre right. you hadnt reached out in time. and you lost your sanity because of it.

"fear is a mind killer. nothing good comes from sheltering your emotions."

"do her a favor, and learn from that mistake."

--

youd been losing sleep.

everyone noticed.

dark circles settled underneath your eyes, only worsening as the days go by.

you decided to visit the carnival. you always wondered why nobody engaged in "digital ridery". it sounded fun.

you sat at the top of the ferris wheel, it had done its rehearsed 5 minute stop to over look the rest of the park.

you leaned against the edge and side, resting your head on your palm.

you felt the car rock a little, a slight metalic squeak resonated to your ears.

you look over to the seat across from you, there stood a happy caine.

"why hello there, my bright-buttoned gumdrop!"

"hi, caine. whats up?"

"i was just thinking about my favvvvorite human and decided to donate some of my precious prescence to her at haste!"

"how generous of you" you smile

something in him flutters

"i cant believe nobody comes here, i always loved amusement parks growing up" you look off into the setting sun atop the ferris wheel.

he got up from his seat and moved next to you, directing his attention to where your eyes are set.

"what.. what were you like? ya know, out there" caine inquires, the theatrics from his tone seem to drop

"well, im pretty much the same. im not much different here than i am in real life."

"the people who knew you were lucky"

you didnt know what to say to that. you looked at him, then at the ground.

"i- i didnt really know many people. and i wouldnt say the people who did know me would consider themselves lucky."

"but i thought you said you were the same?"

"i never really had many friends out there. i was sort of on my own."

"well.. how come?"

you shrugged. you never really knew why. social interactions werent foreign to you. in fact, when prompted, you were quite the social butterfly. the only thing is; you were never prompted.

nobody put in the time to know you. you did the same.

you hung around, spoke to a few people.

you had people you could rely on if needed.

but you wouldnt exactly say they were your friends. when at work, you kept to yourself and did your job as if writing protective script was the only thing you were meant to do in life.

you worked, and worked alone, until the keyboard embedded your fingers inward slightly from hours of click-clacking on the keys.

"im not sure. i just-" you paused, "thats just how it went. nobody talked to me. i talked to nobody"

"well, theyre missing out, truly! youre a wonderful person to be around. im sure if they took the time they would have seen that!"

your eyes met his sparkling ones, a warmth crawling up your cheeks.

what the hell is this?

"i- well its not like it matters now.." you avert your eyes, "im here. at least people talk to me here"

he doesnt say anything for a moment

"i know its.. its not what youre used to here. but i hope, dear, that it brings you some solace knowing the people here enjoy your company. including me"

you return your gaze to his. his eyes bore into yours with sincerity.

you give him a smile, to which he practically melts at.

he then reaches for your hand that is laying in your lap, he grabs it and gives it a squeeze.

"i adore you."

you tense

"i really-" he inhales, "i really do. i think youre just what the circus- what i needed"

"you keep me grounded, i dont feel like i have to constantly worry about pleasing you because youre always so grateful to my efforts. youre sweet, sickeningly sweet."

"im not supposed to feel things. feel the things that you humans do, but when im around you all i DO is feel"

"caine- what are you saying?"

he reaches the hand hes holding towards his teeth, and does his best to give the back of your palm a sweet, light kiss.

"im not sure. im not familiar with this. i was hoping- youd know?"

you decided it was best to answer without words.

you lean in slowly and peck between the top two teeth. it was definitely an odd experience, but you were happy nonetheless.

he buffered three seconds later

--

you dont remember what you were doing.

all you remembered was it was dark. and now it wasnt.

'the circus? am i dreaming?'

could abstractions dream?

did you somehow get loose from the cellar?

you checked your hands, a croaked sound of bewilderment left your throat. last time you checked you definitely werent in your circus avatar anymore.

you were sprawled on the floor in front of the curtains on the mainstage. your startled noises echoed through the circus.

'what is this? i thought- i'

"oh my god."

a higher pitched voice broke your train of thought.

a short, jester laid her eyes on you with pure shock.

"uh- what is this?"

"oh- oh my god?"

okay, thats definitely not what you were expecting as an answer

"um- am i- what am i doing here? am i dreaming?"

"youre her. oh my god"

"excuse me?"

"[name]. youre [name]"

how? how does she know you?

"wh- who are you? how do you know me? whats going on?"

you heard the sound of various feet frantically running in the direction of your panicked voice

in came an assortement of characters.

the jester, a chess piece, a ragdoll, a mask with ribbons for a body, and a.. thing made of things..

you recognized two of them.

the chess piece and the ragdoll. the ragdoll was a little foggy, but you were convinced you knew the chess piece.

"[name?]" he spoke, "oh my god. oh my god it worked"

"wh-what worked? how do you know me? whats happening"

the jester stepped forward, a cautious look in her face, "[name] we- you- you abstracted"

"i- i know that. thats why im confused"

"we were able to 'debunk' the code for the protection script on human files and.. reverse your abstraction"

you felt your mouth run dry.

the code. your code. god, you werent sane enough to realize it was your fault when you were in the circus. but boy did you feel the guilt after your years in the cellar.

"i- im.. i unabstracted?"

you felt your knees wobble from underneath you. pomni rushed up the stage to steady you by looping an arm underneath you. you felt cold. you felt like your reality had been flipped for the third time. you didnt know whether to be happy or scared or upset.

"i- i didnt- i didnt want to-" sobs wracked through your throat, leaving traces of regret in every word, "i thought i wanted to- but i- i regretted it- i left- i didnt mean to leave-"

the others had made their way to the stage as well, as tears flowed down your cheeks.

you were fully sat on the floor, your face burried in your hands as you wept, "i wasnt ready- *hic* i left h- *hic* i left him"

"i felt- i felt so- so hopeless. i let go so quickly"

nobody said anything. nobody needed too. some sort of mutual understanding settled in the air. something that told them to let you cry. to let you feel the emotions you were unable to express without abstracting. you sobbed and sobbed, you sobbed until you were sure you couldnt anymore.

you truly felt guilty.

guilty for being weak, for letting go.

you preached strength and the importance of powering through to those who struggled to get by hard times. you were always a support system. you were always the one people confided in.

so when you abstracted, all you were left with was guilt.

you only hoped those around you would be safe. you only wished they would continue to be happy. you only begged they wouldnt succumb to such a fate as you.

of course, looking around, seeing all these new faces, you could plainly tell that wasnt the case.

--

it happened so abruptly.

at least, thats what everyone said.

you felt it brewing for longer than you let on.

it was slow and gradual. you were just good at keeping it hidden.

you never planned to succumb to it, no! you learned to live with it for the most part. you had people who looked forward to seeing you now. and an eccentric host that seems to take a liking to you.

but it didnt stop the nightmares. your family, your younger siblings wondering why their big sister didnt come home. the things you dreamt of doing. the things you never tried. the people you never met. the fears you didnt overcome.

thats what kept you up at night. wondering what was the point. why did you have to suffer knowing you did all that to end up nowhere.

why did you take years of coding classes during summer breaks, take computer science 1, 2 and 3, and major in software engineering and cybersecurity, just to end up in a cartoonish world where none of that mattered.

but more importantly, why couldnt you be happy?

you had come to terms mostly with disregarding your past, the nightmares came involuntarily. they didnt seep into your concious thinking until nearer to your abstraction.

you were happy here, but it didnt make it easier to accept the fact that essentially, everything you put effort into your whole life was a waste.

you didnt realize that acception slowly faded as your restless nights plagued the time you were awake. as it crept into your energy, sucking the life out of you, and all sense of self.

you began to question what was real. if this was even real. were you just dead? was this a sort of personalized afterlife?

before anybody even noticed something was wrong, it was too late.

you relinquished your sanity in hopes of freedom from the intense depersonalization.

unfortunately, you were still you. just more concentrated and less in-control. you still felt the guilt, the insanity, the despair.

you just felt it in a dark cellar.

the darkness made it feel better, until all that was left in you was guilt.

guilty of leaving behind your friends, guilty of not opening up, guilty of pretending and lying to everyone

guilty of having to make your beloved lock you away.

you always saw his face behind your eyes. he could hardly maintain his theatrics.

he tried, but it was clear the utter desolation and anguish had taken over his body.

you saw it in the way he looked at you.

you looked at him with guilt, endlessly sorry for leaving him.

he looked at you the same, endlessly sorry for locking you away.

caine didnt come out of his office for 2 weeks after that.

--

the group had managed to calm you down and run you down on a basic playthrough of the plan they comprised.

they explained they hoped temporarily disarm the security software and release the abstractions. they then informed you that they were hoping you could rewrite a script that was less broad.

you told them you werent sure, but you could try.

you hadnt touched a computer in almost a decade now. if not more.

you would definitely need some practice.

when you regained some form of composure, you promptly asked them about caine and his whereabouts. pomni and kinger offered to direct you to his office.

its not like you didnt know where it was, but truth be told, you were nervous.

would he remember you? would he care to see you?

you walked down the hallway attempting to keep your shoulder set straight and you steps placid and prepared.

you were doing a horrible job.

it was abbhorent in comparison to the composure you tried to maintain. completely contrasting your hopes of remaining calm.

after a few minutes, you finally arrived at the grand doors of his office.

pomni and kinger resided behind you. you looked back, a worrying look on your face. they both nodded, ushering you to knock.

three loud knocks vibrated against the door until it slowly opened itself.

you took in the sight, marveling in the nostalgic lights filtering thouh the selves where he kept memorabilia and various trinkets. you relished in the obscene decor and grandness of it all as if it was your first time ever stepping foot inside.

you looked around promptly, until your eyes landed on a familiar man in a suit, jaw placed in his hands, looking down at his desk facing you.

you felt a sharp pang in your chest. you felt the reminants of your last moments with him fill your mind. tears pricked your eyes before you even said a word.

"caine..?" you murmured, soft and meek.

he looked up from his desk.

the look on his face when he registered who was standing in front could only be described as nonplussed. pure shock and bewilderment.

he shot up from his desk, you saw pixels fly off of him, little glitches in his suit, sudden eye twitches.

"i- wh-" he choked on his tongue.

tears streamed down your face as you smiled, a short, breath-y chuckle leaving your lips.

you held out your arms, beckoning, practically begging for him to hastily embrace you.

he ushers around his desk, whimpers and sobs breaking through his voice.

he crashes into you, holding you tightly as you both wet eachothers tops with tears.

"oh m- oh my god it worked. you- youre here. youre actually here"

"i am- im here, sweetheart, im here" you tucked his head into your chest as you pressed a kiss on the top of his head.

and that was that.

you held each other for hours.

nobody disturbed you.

you just sat there and let yourself be.

finally together again.

--

"so lemme get this straight, you're married to an ai? thats gotta be some weird kink s#@t"

"shut up, jax. dont listen to him, i think its sweet. hes just salty that he has to be around two couples in the circus"

you giggled, taking a spoonful of ice cream and melting it underneath your tongue.

"we arent even married. at least not yet. kinger and queenie are the only married couple here" you state matter-of-fact-ly, "and thanks, ribbit. youre very kind."

she smiles at you.

"ugh, why dont you go croak, froggy." jax remarks with an absurd amount of pride.

ribbit rolls her eyes, "did your babysitter write that one for you?"

"HE'S JUST MAD BECAUSE YOU GOT UNABSTRACTED BEFORE HIM!" you all turned to see kaufmo waving at you guys from the circus entrance.

"oh come on, you guys got the ice cream without me?"

"you literally took twenty minutes to get ready. what do you even do?" you comment facetiously, "you literally sleep in the clothes you wear. theres like- literally nothing you need to do to get ready."

"thats what you think, princess, but a man needs his beauty routi-"

"my MY! ice cream? arent you worried you might melt it?" a familiar voice booms approximately 2 feet above you.

caine grins as he hovers horizantally, 'inspecting' your face.

"how so?"

"hes calling you hot, dumb@$$"

"how crude!" he gasps, appauled at the accusation, "i merely worry that a smile that bright will cause an incline in the ice creams melting!!"

he makes his way towards your side, pressing a light kiss to your cheek, "however, i wont say the alternative isnt accurate either"

you bark a laughter at his cheesy flirting attempt, leaning your head on his shoulder as you giggle-out.

"this is gross and weird"

ribbit hits his shoulder.

"do you guys mind if i stay back? i can catch up with you later."

they wave you off and walk ahead, telling you they will see you soon.

"have you tried this flavor yet? bursting bright blueberry deluxe with extra funtastic fudge-drops?"

"thats quite the mouthfull! i have not!"

"you named it, caine."

"i know! HA!"

sometimes all you can do is laugh at his antics.

you set your cup of icecream down on the nearby bench and turn to caine.

you reach out and grab both of his hands, "caine?" you call for his attention.

"mmmyep?" he grins at you.

"i dont- i dont think i ever got to say this to you formally before i abstracted" you inhale deeply and press a kiss to his top teeth.

"i love you." you purge the words quickly, he tenses and looks at you with bewilderment. you continue, "i love how youve made this a home. i love how you dont let your code determine how you live your life. i love how you dont let it stop you from loving me."

"honeybee. i would never let anything stop me from loving you."

he brought a hand up to your cheek and cupped in gently, "even when you.. even when you left. it didnt stop me from loving you. but that was hardly my choice. you make it impossible to stop."

"you make it impossible to not think about you. you make it impossible to not care about you. you make it impossible to stop loving you."

"and frankly, my dear, im okay with that."

you grin up at him, completely enamoured.

"i am too."

he leans in an kisses you sweetly.

you happily return the favor.

~end~

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A/N -

oh boy!

sorry about that folks! this took a while to get out.

if you saw my previous post, youll have seen i dealt with some health issues regarding my cat. ive been having to take care of her and ive been left with a lack of motivation and less time to myself.

fortunately, all is well and hopefully she fully recovers!

this was a very tricky post. it was really fun to write and come up with my own concept of the protective software that describes WHAT an abstraction is.

however, concluding it was really difficult. i felt short on time and im not sure if the quality of the end was my best work. i hope it was okay and you still enjoyed it. i definitely had some trouble figuring out where to go with it. but HEY! we made it YAYYYYY.

cant wait to see you in my next fic, and keep an eye out for a masterlist coming soon ;-D winkwonk!!

[the title is inspired by the song Love Cant Break The Spell by DJO]

^^ps, im DJO's number one fan..

thank you for reading!

xoxo >3<

-ms. adagio blue

all rights reserved to msadagioblue on tumblr

(this request won't have spoilers, by the way, it just takes place after the finale)

so, what if the reader was part of the original group of programmers who entered the circus? the reader and caine fall in love, but she abstracts for unknown reasons (i'll let you fill in the blanks). her absence leaves caine even more unstable (explaining his whackiness in the main series), and queenie and kinger are the last two standing.

fast forward to sometime after the finale, caine works day and night with kinger to reverse the abstractions. they have to figure out what code is salvageable and what they can do about the corrupted files. caine selects your abstracted self to run experiments on.

one day, they make a breakthrough, and you revert back to your base avatar. it's a sweet reunion, but you have to awkwardly explain your lore to everyone, specifically your relationship to caine.

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐥 (pt.1)

pairing - 𝐂𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

pt.2 --> here!!

material - ANGSTTT! fem!reader, flashbacks, caine loves you :( implied relationship (soon to be confirmed winkwink), two-part fic, no comfort YET, caine lowkey is a grieving husband, goat pomni, no beta we die like queenie, POST-FINALE, slight AU, reverse abstraction au, NOT PROOFREAD

-

synopsis - caine strives to be a more honest host after everything happened in the final episode. when opening up about the origin of an abstraction, he reveals past connections and a fear to face reality. the circus finds hope in the possibility of being able to reverse abstractions, while caine finds anger in his hesitation to find out.

-

notes - i am NOT an angst lover. hardly will you ever see me write angst without eventual comfort, so fret not, a happy ending is afoot! this work is a little cannon divergant in the sense of being able to reverse abstractions as well as the circus members are not roaming around in real life, theyre physically stuck. i decided to split this into two parts to keep it under 3k words in one work. i also thought it would be fun to leave yall on a cliff hanger HEHE!! 0v0

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word count ~ 2.3k

he just couldn't possibly believe it.

how could he? you always said you were so happy with him.

he thought that ensured your safety.

moreover, your sanity.

it had been quite a while since you abstracted. the wound was not fresh. but man, did it hurt.

caine had always felt aimless since you relinquished your sanity. since you deformed into a dark mass of kaleidoscopic eyes and jagged edges.

he felt so wrong having you descend into that chamber of darkness. he felt like everything in his explorative coding told him to do anything but surrender to the reality that you were gone.

more importantly, he felt.

and it was because of you.

but how could he do something he believed to be impossible. something engrained in the code of his being couldnt possibly be worth defying. how could he find it in himself to worthlessly search for ways to bring you back.

corrupt files were corrupted for good.

locked away as an immutable mass.

he knows that.

you did too. after all, you wrote the script.

just a portion of it, of course. it was a script for npcs or malfunctions to resort to a less concious version of themselves to prevent further destruction within the digital world. it was intended to lessen bugs and glitches, to keep the CAINE ai from worrying about handling things that should be out of a program's hands.

you would have never written the script to be so vague, so broad, if you knew human minds would be trapped within the program.

if you knew you would be trapped within the program.

thats what you did, you programmed protective software into the digital circus to prevent any and all malfunctions. you walked proudly knowing your contributions to C&A's goal to create the first functioning creative ai made it easier to acheive said goal.

it would have taken much longer for the ai to develop properly and efficiently if it had to be coded to protect itself from bugs and corruptions.

you had no idea about the brain scans. about the few C&A workers who had gone missing shortly after being issued a personal testing session of the program.

you had no idea about the head programmer, the one with brain cancer, who was nowhere to be found.

you had no idea about the coworker and his wife soon after being roped into the same case.

you had no idea about the money C&A paid to keep it quiet.

you had no idea. you saw none of the confidential files containing this information.

it wasnt disclosed to your standard of work level. you didnt get to know that.

you found out anyways.

the hard way!

you would soon become the reason for the companies abandonment, one too many missing cases looked way too suspicious for a company focusing on computer programming.

--

you never knew when to stop meddling into things you werent warrented to meddle in.

a bright light peirced you eyes, a feeling akin to a warm, light squeeze, fluttered around your brain.

you felt static-y. you felt different.

you reached your hand out to grasp the wooden desk in front of you.

well.. you could have sworn it was in front of you..

"wha-"

you look around. bright colors and warm lighting. a dog, two chess pieces and a pair of dentures in a suit.

--

it didnt take you long to recognize caine.

you were there the day he designed himself. the day he struggled through twenty-four different bowtie colors, the board meeting was erupted with laughter at such whimsy coming from their first interaction with the ai.

you were shell-shocked, to say the least.

everything felt foggy. as if you knew what this was, but you didn't at the same time.

all you knew was you were no longer the you that you were twenty minutes ago.

you found solace in the darker chess peice, as she offered it to you quite quickly.

--

"can you even de-asbtract people?" caine peered down at the inquiring jester, "i mean, wouldn't you have tried that by now?"

he grit his teeth. "there- there never seemed to be a point" he said, his voice held more humanity in it. it was less theatrical. it was more raw.

"never seemed to be a point?? why the hell would there be no point in trying to de-abstract someone??" zooble's voice cut through the air, the bite in their tone clearly trying to die midway, "you never tried?"

"she programmed abstractions."

a silence settled uncomfortably amongst the group.

they had been sitting their, discussing the events that occured within the past few days.

everyone was still mourning him. some more apprehensively than others.

caine offered the information of everything he knew about abstractions as apart of being a more transparent and honest host.

the topic of de-abstracting came up.

zooble spoke up again,"who did?"

"an old member.. she worked for C&A. she was in charge of protective coding for the digital circus program" he paused, "she didnt write it intending to lock away people. it was for viruses and bugs. it was to keep the program clean"

"with that, she wrote it to be permenantly.. disbanded."

"disbanded?"

"if a file got corrupted, such as an adventure file, it would regress into a lesser form, a lesser code, unable to spread to other files."

"so.. an abstraction.. when a file gets corrupted.. it implements a protective software."

ragatha tensed, her voice shaky, "how could she have that written in? why would she do that if she knew that their were human files in the program??"

"she never knew human files would be apart of the equation."

he spoke with a sharpness, it sounded defensive.

"she- she never knew. she was trying to make my job easier. when a human here goes... insane.. the program detects it as a corrupted file. which impliments the protective software that you know as an abstraction."

"i cant.. i cant change the script."

the air filled with gloom. a sort of helplessness for their friend.

you could feel the sound of their minds wrapping around the concept of another thing being inevitable.

a thought shot through pomni, she raised her head and spoke out, "we changed yours."

caine met her eyes, urging her to continue.

"shes- shes right. we accessed your script." zooble continued

"you deleted me."

pomni cringes,"tha- that wasnt what we were trying to do!"

he raised a jaw-brow (lol)

"we were trying to alter your code. to make you less aggressive."

caine tenses, he knew what she was implying.

"if we were able to access your code, if we were able to alter it, the very code that holds the circus together, im sure we could access a software protection script."

pomni looks over at kinger, almost as if asking for confirmation

he peers at her through his bucket, "yes, technically we should be able to. it is much less of a hassle to access and alter because it isnt a developing code like most things here are. like caine, the adventure, the npcs, etcetera."

zooble raises a brow, "what do you mean 'technically'?"

caine interupts, "the code is almost 20 years old. it would be burried beneath thousands of other scripts. it would be almost impossible to find."

while his words suggest something of relinquishment, the tone sounds pleading. he wanted someone to challenge him, to read between the lines.

thats what pomni's for! "almost impossible"

he feels a fire beneath his feet. a determination.

she quirks up a hopeful smile, "better get to searching then."

--

you were everything. he loved you. he wasnt even supposed to. its not in his code.

but he couldnt help it with the way you looked for him in your free time.

you didnt look for other humans. you didnt retreat into your room. you didnt curse him for simply being there.

"oh my! and then what?" you let out a giggle

"he told her, 'im not your husband! im his brother!" he enthusiastically perched further across the table in mock disbelief, wailing his arms in the air hysterically as you both ruptured into a fit a laughter.

you wipe imaginary laughter-tears from your cartoonish eyes, letting out a content sigh.

"my, my, darling. i sure do have a splendid time with you!"

"you as well, caine. i enjoy your company"

he visably buffers.

--

scrolling through the mounds of code, alongside pomni and kinger, he maintains total focus on carefully examining each code.

of course, hes an ai. not a computer programmer. he only understands so much, so kinger and pomni keep an eye out for key features that would indicate a protective software script.

kinger quickly explained to pomni what to look out for.

caine looked very disgruntled. pomni glanced at him once or twice, before asking him what was on his mind.

he insisted it was just his 'focusing face' before sighing.

right, honesty.

"i- she always had really neat codes. her scripts were satisfying to look at."

his eyes settled a little softer, a certain fondness found its way into the shine of them.

"i- i m.." he trails off

"were you two close?"

caine didnt respond. he just averted his eyes slightly more away from her glance.

"yes."

kinger answered for him.

pomni watched the way caines shoulders stiffened. "i remember them"

"you met her, kinger?"

"why, yes. she joined the circus just after me and queenie. she always spent time with caine whenever she could."

caines movement amongst the code staggered. the smooth flow of code faltered for a moment before continuing.

there was a silence, nobody really knowing how to continue, before caine spoke up, "she was.. she was what grounded me. i may not be human, but im as 'trapped' here as you are."

"she made me feel okay" he paused,

"she made me feel."

--

a squeal erupted from your lips, wrapping your arms around his neck as he carried you bridal-style.

after a little romantic friendly banter that walking was easier than floating, he insisted that he showed you what it was like, scooping you up into his arms and whisking you away into the open air outside of the circus.

"c-caine!! d-you're gonna drop me!!" you screeched.

"nonesense, my little gumdrop noodle! i am perfectly capable of safetly transporting you through the air in my arms!"

you only brought yourself closer to his chest, squeezing your arms around his neck tighter. he looked down at you, a twinkle in his eyes.

he felt warm and tingly as your touch. he tightened his grip around your body.

you looked up at him, staring into his eyes. you then too, felt the warmth spread through your body.

he slowly descended to the ground, never taking his eyes off of you.

"honeybee.." he spoke softly, you hummed, "im going to set you down now."

his voice was smooth and gentle.

he lowered you slowly, his hands making his way to yours, grasping them tightly to ensure keeping you on balance. you looked down at the ground towards your feet to keep you from tripping

your feet reached the ground as your gaze met his feet, which were now stationary and on the ground.

"hey, youre standing like me" you point out.

he looks at you with excitement, "it feels disgusting!" he beams.

you bark out a laugh and hook your arm around his.

"come on! walk around the lake with me!"

he smiles softly at you, staring at your bright expression with adoration.

he still thought floating was much easier. but he didnt care.

"as you wish, my love."

--

it had been days of searching.

maybe even weeks.

he had been growing frustrated.

he tried to blame the tremendous amount of coding he had to sift through as the source of his agitation.

he really did try.

of course that wasnt it.

he was angry. angry he didnt try.

angry that he loved you so much yet was too much of a coward to try.

he didnt want to be disapointed.

he knew deep down he was scared, scared that finding out he couldnt change the fate of the abstracted would only confirm that he lost you. it would officially set the reality in.

in his mind, never finding out if you were or werent salvagble was easier than the possibility of finding out you werent. even if it meant he would never find out if you were.

he knew it was selfish. he knew he was a coward.

he loved you so so much. he was angry he didnt even work up the courage after years to find out.

he was the reason he had to sift through years of code. if only he did it sooner.

he began to ruffle through the codes restlessly, not paying nearly as much attention as he should have, judgement clouded with self-resentment.

until a voice interupted his manic sorting, "stop!"

he halted abruptly.

he glanced at pomni, she scooched by him, placing her hand on the console used to scroll through the heaps of code.

she sifted through a few of the previous scripts.

until she landed on one.

C&A Corrupted File Protection Software.

she clicked on it.

View File?

Yes / No

she released her grasp and look over to caine. his eyes intensely focused on the screen. a bewildered look spread across his eyes.

he was shaking.

he slowly moved the cursor.

YES / No

Now viewing script;CnACorruptedFileProtectionSoftware_2287192525663/.exe

...LOADING

---------------------------------------------------------

A/N -

hi hi hi! can you tell im technologically inept? i know not of the first thing about computers. my thing is words! not math and techy-stuff!

most of the stuff i wrote was bs i tried my hardest to make sound logical.

as aforementioned, in this work, the idea of reversing the effects of abstracting is possible (its not a spoiler if i willingly give it to you..)

it also diverges from the cannon plot where their physical selves are roaming around in real life. in this au theyre physically in the circus. they were like jumanji sucked into the program. idk i dont make the rules (i literally do..)

anyways, as much as im not a fan of angst (i love my happy stories..), this was quite fun to write! i cant wait to expand more in part two! with a lighter setting!

[the title is inspired by the song Love Cant Break The Spell by DJO]

^^ps, im DJO's number one fan..

thank you for reading!

xoxo >3<

-ms. adagio blue

all rights reserved to msadagioblue on tumblr

𝐅𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮

pairing - 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧!𝐂𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

material - caine spoils you! fem!reader. human!caine. caine is a hopeless romantic. established relationship. husband caine! family vacation except its with the circus. las vegas trip.

-

synopsis - caine endlessly appreciates your devotion to him from the beginning. a little nervewracked at the idea of inadvertently making him feel asthough you only value the material things in your relationships, you discourage the idea of him splurging his money onto you. of course, he doesnt... instead, he reminds you hes never doubted your love.

-

notes - this one was a little tough because originally i pictured the reader as borderline primadonna but it felt unnatural to pair caine with someone who is a lack of human empathy away from being borderline materialistic. it was originally supposed to be a very much gift-loving reader who loves caine whole heartedly but also loves money. it just felt wrong and hard to justify with natural feelings. so i wrote her a little more raw! i hope she turned out well..

--------------------------------------------------------------

word count ~ 2.5k

celebrating the rowdy, end-of-the-year, nation-wide tour certainly made the top of the charts for you and your circus-mates most anticipated event.

every year, the circus performers and immidiate directors go on an exhilarating trip to a destination decided via poll early in the year.

the atmosphere amongst your circus-mates practically buzzed with elation as you all took your final bows of the tour season and headed to the backstage to retreat to your solace, the backstage room.

one thing, and one thing only was on everyones mind.

the trip to las vegas.

you see, you often loved these trips, you never got to see much of the world when you were younger, so being granted these opportunities were extraordinary.

not only did you get to spend some intimate bonding time with your circus-mates, but you spent it alongside you boisterous fiance.

caine.

anyways, as aforementioned, you loved the trips. even the grumpiest of grouches loved the trips (cough cough jax and zooble cough).

however, vegas had been on your bucket list for years now. you were oozing with excitement.

so much so, that in the early moment of the year, when the december air hadn't even melted away yet, when spring was still awaiting its moment to peer through the crisp frosty winter mornings and make its sunny viewings over the fields, thawing the frozen blade of grass,

you had begun saving.

now, you didnt purposfully keep the seperate savings account from caine, no, you never hid things.

however, it never crossed your mind to mention it, for it seemed trivial.

of course, he noticed it a few weeks prior, looking into the circus trip savings to book his and your air bnb, (he had already done so for the others, what a productive guy!) he noticed an unfamiliar account, unmistakably yours, labled; "vvvegasYAYY" (a very you name, if i might add)

shortly after, he questioned you about it.

lightheartedly, of course.

"darling, what is this?" he inquires, coming up behind you sitting at your vanity and draping his arms around your shoulders, resting his head atop yours, displaying his phone screen in front of you. a clear view of the savings account.

"vegas yay" you respond. he breathes out a laugh, "its just some money i put aside for the trip, i wanted to be able to let loose a little, feel a bit more luxurious." you explain, raising an arm to glide down his, and rest grasping his forearm. a soft form of your normal affectionate interactions.

"whatever could you need to save for when you have me, honey?" he teases, obviously trying to get under your skin.

you playfully smack his arm, "oh, dont say stuff like that you, goofball. i saved up so i didnt have to rely on you for stuff like that." you exemplify your defiance to his constant spoiling and gift giving towards you, as youve done in the past

the last thing youd want is him to think you only keep him around for his wealth. you often protest, but cave in after his insistance that he isn't so shallow to assume you take advantage of him when he is the one who has to beg you to let him buy stuff for you.

you loved it, of course you do! but the fear still resided in you.

of course, leading to the decision to save up your own. "sweetheart, i love it when you rely on me for stuff like that." he smiles softly at you, you look up, slowly and cautiously as to not disrupt his head placement atop your own, "nothing makes me happier than to make my woman feel my love, however that may be."

you breathe out a relentless sigh, "you aren't gonna let up, huh?"

he only grins wider.

"i guess i'm going to have to do some secret shopping then"

---

a beautiful market, glittering with strung up lights and the smell of smoke and warm caramel. it resonated a feeling somewhat adjacent to when you first step foot in the circus, it was all so bright and theatrical.

of course, it being vegas, it was inadvertantly lusterous and loud, tall buildings hugging the crowds that walk on either side, street performers trying to whisk money from your wallet for a picture, venodrs and shops of beautiful merchandise and overpriced souveniers. it was all so grand. it was all so rewarding.

you had passed by quite a few cotton candy vendors, eyeing them down with a look of hunger. you refused to purchase any, however. you didn't want to waste your money on an overpriced treat that wont even make it seven minutes.

all it took, was a slight glimmer of apprehension when waving off a man who marketed the cotton candy to you and your castmates.

of course, caine noticed. he knew you wanted it, so he released himself from his graps and quickly purchased the sweet cloud and handed it to you.

your face flushed, not even having registered he bought it until it was in your hands. "c-caine! i have my own money!"

"but you wanted it" he replies innocently

"i could have bought it, you didn't need to do that"

"but you werent going to, you wanted it but you werent going to buy it"

damn.

you untense, yeilding and letting out a sigh, "thank you, love" you smile and give him a light peck on his cheek.

he melted

he continued to buy you snacks behind your back

--

firework show! firework show! firework show!

that was practically all you read on the posted advertisements walking through the market the next day.

you had all agreed it was going to make it a habit to visit the market at the end of the day during your visit.

whilst you knew what would happen if you uttered a single work about your fascination toward the firework show happening later that night, you refused to show any interest.

that didnt work. caine knew you!

you would have bent over backwards to go to the show.

you hoped someone would recommend going so you could buy your own ticket while caine was caught off guard.

gangle called your name, "can you come with me to this makeup vendor? you know all about this stuff and i need to find something compatable with my skin in the winter.." she asks politely. you happily agree, excuse yourself to your husband with a light kiss, and walk with her to the makeup vendor. it was some japanese brand she had heard of, and she wanted your opinion on the kind of skin prep she should look into for the dry winters. "we'll catch up with you guys! meet us over by the carousel entrance!"

as the group makes their way through the crowd, eventually stopping at the carousel entrance, caine takes notice of a stand next to a gate labeled concessions.

'firework show! tonight at 10! get your ticket here!'

--

you made your way back to the group with gangle, and it didnt take you long before you noticed all the neon green wristbands they donned.

ragatha greets you, "hey! you like fireworks right? caine thought itd be a good idea to see this show!"

you look over at him and the wristband held in his balled up fists, he looks sheepish.

there's no way

"did you buy my ticket?"

"he bought everyones ticket"

you stammer in shock

the others carry on with their conversation, aware of the scolding he is about the endure.

"what the- caine!" you groan

he comes over and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.

"cant a man spend his money how he wants!" he smooths his hands through your hair, "cant a man spoil his wife!"

"you spoil me constantly"

"not enough!"

--

you hadnt seen him for a bit, he said he would run to the bathroom.

of course it doesnt usually take 10 minutes to return from such.

you all sat on a table outside, basking in the evening air, eating your expensive burgers.

zooble looked up from their food and off into the distance before a bewildered look spread across their face.

you hadn't noticed until ragatha let out an audible "..oh!"

while chewing your food you turned around.

you stopped chewing when you saw the sight.

caine happily making his merry-little-way over to the table with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers along with another stick of cotton candy.

you stood up and walked over with a shocked expression, preparing to question him as to his unneccessary spending on you again, but you were cut off with a sweet kiss against your lips.

after a moment of shock, you rest you hands on his chest and melt into the sweet kiss. the feeling of pure love rushing through your veins.

damn, how could you get upset..

--

the day continued on with the same warmth. you and your husband had been holding hands as you wandered through fancy chocolate shops, jewelry galas, museums and mausoleums, each engraving the memory you are sure to cherish with a complacent smile.

the moment you've been waiting for soon arrived

the firework show

you entered the vast field through glamorous gates with metal detailing reaching up to the sky, two gaurds on either side prestigiously beckoning in paid guests, blankets scattered on the field of wildflowers and fresh cut grass, food trucks lined on the side beside the foliage starting leading into the forests.

your group set up somewhere somewhat secluded from the concentrated group towards the front of the firework machines.

jax argued with zooble about it..

he insisted it'd be smart to go to the front to see them better while zooble worried about the noise.

of course, pomni, ever the peacemaker suggested the secluded area off to the corner of the field, close enough to the front but not right in front of the blasts, offering the solution; "we'll be seeing it from the same sky, they arent going to get smaller if we move a few feet"

you smiled at the bickering group, squeezing the hand of your fiance.

"are you happy?" he turns to you, a warm grin on his beautiful face.

you respond by kissing him sweetly.

you rest your forehead against his.

"help me set up the blanket, my love"

"yes, maam!"

a large quilt, with a few others scattered around it, now lays underneath the bodies of your circusmates.

everyone seems so happy.

a cheer erupts from a group of people, the show must be starting.

you anxiously stand up from the quilt, clutching a hand to your chest.

exhilaration bubbles in your ribcage, youre estatic

your husband grabs a hold of your hand and rises with you.

caine brings you closer by wraping his arm around your shoulder, kissing your head as you lean against him.

the fireworks crackle in the sky, the dim sunset mixing with vibrant colors of light.

boom! crack!

whistle! fizzzzzzz!

music to your ears.

speaking of, the sudden sound of guitars rumble through the field, a soft, sweet sound of Mazzy Star.

you begin swaying with caine, watching the fireworks paint the sky.

i wanna hold the hand inside you

"isnt this beautiful" you whisper

"ive seen better" he smiles down at your face.

you giggle at the cliche flirt

i wanna take the breath thats true

"i love you, you know"

"well, i hope so, we are married after all, sunshine."

i look to you and i see nothing

"i love you too"

i look to you to see the truth

you live your life, you go in shadows

he slides his hands to his pocket, slowly lifting a velvet box to your face.

"you've already put a ring on this finger, caine"

you'll come apart and you'll go blind

he chuckles and opens the box.

a beautiful, stunning necklace is placed perfectly inside.

some kind of night into your darkness

you let out a soft gasp, your eyes twinkle with the light reflecting off the dazzling peice of jewelry.

colors your eyes with whats not there

"caine you-"

"you do so much for me."

you breathe in, allowing room for him to continue

fade into you

"i know you worry, i know you do, sweetheart. i see it in your eyes everytime i bring something to you."

"your love has never, not once, been something i doubted. i have never questioned your intentions with me. i have never once worried about the material of our love being based on monetary value."

strange, you never knew

"you loved me, you believed in me before i gained any sort of pride, or recognition, or wealth from my dreams. you saw a scruffy man with a talkative bird and enormous ambition and loved me for it."

fade into you

"you loved me through everything. through all of the struggled, you loved me when i didnt love myself. you loved me when nobody did. you were the one person. and you continue to love me."

i think it's strange you never knew

"you loved me when i had nothing. nothing but a pair of lips to kiss you and tell you i loved you. forgive me, if my actions are impulsive, but now that i have something more to offer, my immidiate reaction is to share that with you."

"i dont feel obliged to spoil you, to spend money on you. i want to make you happy in every possible way. not just through words, or money, or touch, i want to show you through it all."

he reaches in the box, and steps in front of you

a stranger light comes on slowly

a stranger's heart without a home

he takes the necklace and gently places around your neck

a warmth glows on your cheeks, astonishement dances in your twinkling eyes that reflect the bright lights of the fireworks.

you put your hands into you head

the necklace clasps and the cool metal meets your warm collarbone

he cups your cheek gently and kisses you. you melt in his arms, swaying to the song. love flooding your body.

and then its smiles cover your heart

you smile down at it, "its gorgeous, caine."

"absolutely beautiful", he responds.

but hes not looking at the necklace.

fade into you

strange, you never knew

fade into you

i think its strange you never knew

fade into you

strange, you never knew

fade into you

i think its strange you never knew

~end~

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N -

OH MY GOD IM BACK!

hello friends! thank you dearly for your patience. i have had a really really busy three weeks and i finally found time to lock in and finish this work.

i sincerely apologize if this is a little choppy and odd, i had to redo it like 2 times because the draft wouldn't save, and the progress added occured like maybe once or twice every week so my thought proccess on writing this story was very scattered and strenuous.

hopefully i can get back on my feet soon enough and upload a little bit more!

while writing this, i was listening to music and fade into you came on and it just like weasled its way into the end scene.

{SONG CREDIT - FADE INTO YOU; MAZZY STAR)

thank you for reading!

xoxo >3<

-ms. adagio blue

all rights reserved to msadagioblue on tumblr

hey! i don’t recall seeing an nsfw ask anywhere.

i am of age! i am not a minor! i’m just old for my grade 🌝💕

I saw u were taking fic requests and I always try, and ask for anime jax because I can't get enough of that annoying little $#!%

Really any of them though.

Or maybe! A human AU finally meeting up with him IRL, and Zooble has to drag him out of the house. Like he didn't want to go because he thought "they dont wunna see me", but Zooble made him go anyway.

OR meeting everyone IRL after escaping the circus? Idk. Sorry for ao many in one message 😅 Suddenly I have tons of ideas...

𝐒𝐨 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭?

pairing - 𝐀𝐧𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐀𝐝𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞!𝐉𝐚𝐱 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

material - basically just a situation fic, interactions between jax in the lightning round anime adventure! fluff, jax flirts w you, reader briefly mentioned have longer-ish hair, fem!reader, jax calls reader pretty, he’s lowkey yearning bro someone get this guy outta here, he can flirt but he can’t take getting flirted with! loser! use of (name)

-

synopsis - placed inside a 2d adventure, per request of gangle, you endure to flirtatious and bewildering obscenities jax says to you once again, this time in a small, traditional japanese classroom. thanks a lot gangle..

-

notes - what a cutesy request! i thought a little banter getting written in the midst of an adventure sounded like a wonderful thing to write!

————————————————————————

word count ~ 2.06k

“there’s nothing wrong with your suggestion” zooble attempts to relief gangle of the inner turmoil of embarrassment at jax’s previous degradation of the adventure prompt.

however this only instills more panic, for she hadn’t come out and said it was her that requested it, “HOW DID YOU KNOW THIS WAS MY SUGGESTION??!” she squeals and covers her drawing with her thin, ribbon arms.

jax groans some more and turns around in his chair to face you, who was sat behind him.

“can you BELIEVE this (name)? first she draws anime, now she drags us all into one!” he exclaims, “she must be one of those uhhh”

you quirk an eyebrow

“losers!”

“you threw pomni out of a moving truck..” you say incredulously, brows furrowing.

“oh, come ON, sweetheart don’t act like you didn’t laugh!” he leans forward in his chair. you deadpan, unamused by his antics. you then turn to pomni, who’s sat in the desk next to you, “sorry about him doing.. that.. by the way.” you say with a sympathetic look.

she waves you off while continuing to watch jax readying up to throw another quip your way. he inhales sharply and you turn and glare.

“don’t even” you warn him, attempting to waver off whatever obnoxious nonsense he had to say.

“yeesh, that’s a frosty look! you wound me!” he feigns hurt and places his 2d gloved hand on his chest. he leans forward and rests his elbow on your desk and places his head against his palm, staring at your 2d avatar.

you lean back in your chair and cross your arms. you ignore his remark and look around.

it’s so different, and so so odd. being able to just, CHANGE the style in which your animated avatar looked. you glance at jax, and down at your body. you then stare at your hands, and watch them run through the long strands of your hair.

“this is so.. bizarre.” you exclaim, “no offense, gangle.”

“HA! see! i knew you and i thought alike”, he barks out a laugh, “aint this such a ridiculous-“

“no no- not like that. the suggestion is fine it’s just” you pause, lifting a strand of hair to meet in front of your face, your other hands playing with the ends, “it’s just so weird to be 2d…”

it really was foreign to you.

if you didnt feel like you were just a bunch of show characters before, you sure did now!

you arent sure what it was like for your friends when they first arrived into the digital plane, but you remember constantly being caught in front of mirrors. trying to comprehend the drastic change in textures, colors, anatomical features that you had spent your life 'getting used to'

now, here, you had to start all over again.

and this adventure surely wasn't helping.

your brows furrow as you let go of your hair and sigh. throwing your head back.

jax continues to stare. you feel it.

you always do.

the way his eyes linger on you a second to long to be.. purposeful.

it was hard not to notice, not to feel the heat of his stare, not to feel a spiral of something in your chest when you catch his eyes darting away when you meet his persistent stare.

you sigh and get up from your desk, “i’m gonna.. wander” you exit out the classroom through the sliding door and enter into the hallway.

your school heels click lightly against the hallway floor, you look around the corridor and out the windows that overlook the courtyard. you stop in front of one, gazing out against the grassy fields and shrubs from two stories below.

caine really went all out for this map...

you run your hand against the smooth glass window, and lean against the protruding pillar next to it.

"this is so weird.." you mutter under your breath, catching sight of your now 2d reflection in the avatar.

it not like it isnt.. cool, its just not exactly what youve acclimated to

i mean, hey, it took you a while to adjust to becoming a cartoon character surrounded by other cartoon characters.

its no surprise you're a little shell-shocked!

as your mind wanders off, you hardly notice the sound of the classroom you just came out of about 5 doors down slide open.

you only noticed due to the grumble coming out of the door.

you didnt need to turn to find out who it was, you could tell.

"i cant believe you left me to deal with those losers! what a betrayal" he cries out.

"you couldnt go three minutes without me, huh?" teasingly, you look toward him with a small, almost indiscernable smirk.

"yeah yeah," he saunters over to your side, "dont let it get to your head"

"well its too late for that"

he playfully glares at you, before resting his elbow flat on your shoulder and leaning against you as if you're some arm rest.

"excuse you" you say dubiously. you quirk an eyebrow as you look up at him

god, hes already staring right down at you.

he leans down slightly, face closer to yours. "hm? go on."

"im all ears"

your eyes blow wide open, as you feel heat crawl up your neck.

you turn back to the scenary in front of you, "yuck." is all you said.

he hums, clearly satified with his quip.

now, you have no idea where the surge of confidence came from, but whatever possesed you in the moment gave you the bright idea to follow through, not allowing him to 'win'.

of course, you accepted the high likeliness of regretting your actions later.

you look back up at him, him promptly turning to gaze at you as well

"you know.." you reach up and take a hold of his school uniform tie and bring him down to your eye level, staring daggers through his eyes.

he lets out a startled noise, something he clearly didnt mean to let out. "WH-" "someone ought to teach you when the right time is to shut up"

hes practically vibrating, heat immitting off of his body as he looks at you,

completely, and utterly bewildered.

he breathes out, he continues to stare at you, askance, "what- what the h@!# are you doing." he mutters under his breath.

you let go promptly and step away from infront of him.

he tumbles slightly over his feet and looks back at you, an incredulous look on his face.

you cross your arms, look him up and down, and walk down the hallway with an amused huff.

he watches you for a second before scrambling by your side, "uhh wha- what- what was that?" you look over your shoulder to him, playing a confused expression on your face as you continue on walking. "hm? what was what?" you feign innocence.

he groans and runs his hands over his face, "you're god-awful."

"you followed me out here" you quip

"just thought you'd appreciate my company!"

"how humble"

"oh come on, dont act like you dont like it." he insists

"acting?"

"real funny, sweetheart"

"ya know for someone who gets flustered so easily when they get flirted with, you sure flirt a lot."

"you call this flirting, small fry?"

"i'd say so."

"its unnatural coming from you. it catches me off guard, i dont get 'flustered'."

"cant help but feel as though that the dictionary definition of being flustered."

"dont school me, sweetheart."

"hey, if you wanna dish it out, you gotta be able to lick it up" you smirk at him, "bunny."

he flushes,

"f!@#k off."

you roll your eyes at him.

you guys continue walking for a moment in silence, until he bumps into you. "so, speaking of, what do you think about being in school again?" he inquires

with a shrug of your shoulder, "i mean, its alright. im more bewildered at the change of dimensions."

"oh yeah?" he quirks an eyebrow

"i feel like i look.. odd." you respond, "ya know, as an anime character with this odd avatar."

he looks at you, and you can only assume he spoke quicker than his mind could catch up;

"i think you look pretty"

you stop in your tracks and stare at him, bewildered. when your eyes meet his face he looks almost as shocked as you, "p-pretty stupid looking! ha! gotcha!" he retorts. although the attempt was obvious and very feeble.

"pretty?" you push.

his face droops, and a red hue dusts his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

"yeah yeah whatever. god forbid i speak my mind." he avoids your gaze as he walks forward, seemingly embarressed from his unwarrented thoughts escaping him.

you walk a step behind him.

"i think.."

you pause

"i think you're.. not too bad looking yourself"

he tenses his shoulders, cheeks redder than before.

"wh- yeah well i knew that." he straightens up and then smirks, "arent you lucky to have such a handsome devil as myself as your friend."

"sure, jax"

he chuckles, and you regain your place beside him.

"i meant it, ya know"

you look at him and raise an eyebrow.

"you.. you're pretty. i guess."

your eyes widen, "woah, i didn't know you were capable of saying sappy stuff like that."

however, instead of the expected eyeroll and glare, he just lets out a small laugh.

"i meant it too."

you nearly miss the small smile on his lips.

"i bet you were pretty. in the real world, ya know"

you flush, shoulders tensing, "jeez.. way to lay it on thick"

he returns his infamous smirk, "look whos flustered now!"

his face adornes a victorious grin, "if you wanna dish it out, you gotta be able to lick it up."

of course he'd use your own words against you.

"real funny"

"thanks, sweetcheeks."

you let out a bark of laughter at the ridiculous name.

he stops in his tracks.

he stares.

you feel the same heat as you stop and stare back.

"god."

he starts,

"you make this impossible"

you were about to question him, but before any words could make it out of your mouth, he started towards you in long strides, until he was practically flush against you, chest to chest.

you look up at the tall rabbit. "jax?"

the next thing you know, hes on you.

his lips to your lips, his hand to your cheek, and his other hand pulling you impossibly closer by the waist.

he guides you with insane attentiveness for someone who's engrossed in a makeout session to the nearest pillar, pressing his body against yours.

you breathe against his lips, somewhere close adjacent to a gasp, he groans and moves his hand up into your hair, tangling his gloved fingers into the strands.

hes desperate, and unraveling right before your eyes.

and god, were you happy to cater to it.

you trailed your hands up his chest and around his neck, pulling him down, closer and deeper into the kiss. he groans again.

you smile against his mouth.

he lets go and stares directly at you.

"f!@#, man."

"do you know how long ive been-"

you cut him off by placing your lips on his again, pulling him into another kiss.

this one is less desperate (and less on the borderline of lustful..)

its passionate and uncharacteristically romantic.

sweet kisses exchanged between the two of you. jax disconnects his lips and peppers small pecks along your face, moving down to kiss your neck.

it wasn't sensual or an innuendo. it was rather sweet. like he this was the only way he could pour out the utter feeling of desire hes had for you for ages.

you laugh at his tickling kisses, and he collapses his head against the side of your neck, trapping you on your sides with his hands.

you lightly grab his face and lift it to meet your eyes. you then place a small, sweet kiss to his lips, while giving him an impossibly bright smile.

"god. you're awful to me."

"you love me"

"so what?"

~end~

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A/N -

oh my days. look at me go! ive been so much more active than i planned.

i honestly was planning on my second fic being posted in the middle of this week. BUT LOOK, THIRD FIC POSTED ON A MONDAY!!

god i am rocking shit, my guys.

anyways, i love jax bro he makes me so mad.

can we kill this guy?

anyway.

I HOPE YOU ENJOYEDDDD! <3

thank you for reading!

xoxo >3<

-ms. adagio blue

all rights reserved to msadagioblue on tumblr

plagarism or reposting on any other platform is prohibited.

i’m asking cuz there was a fic on here that was sooooo similar to yours! queenie and kinger were techies, jax was a knife thrower, caine was a director/ringmaster, and the reader was this jessica rabbit “he makes me laugh” type.

i can’t remember the plot, but it had smth to do with the reader coming back from a business trip in monaco.

hello! unfortunately, that was not me, but i believe i know what you’re talking about. i think i’ve come across it as well!

my fics are HEAVILY inspired by quite a few people such as @plushance and @gesturingjester on tumblr and i absolutely love their work.

i also envision the characters in the way @anessthetic has drawn them.

if you ever have requests to something similar you’ve seen before, or a trope you like to be written, i’m more than happy to put my own spin on things!

thanks for reading!

xoxo >3<

𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧' 𝐚 𝐊𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐚 𝐘𝐨𝐮!

pairing - 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧!𝐂𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

material - fluff!! established relationship, the circus lightheartedly thinks caine is an oddball and cant picture him having much of an affiliation with romance, honorable mentions of queenie and kinger!! no use of Y/N, use of (Name), fem!reader, reader is an intermission singer! shows up for the two intermissions and performs songs and dances, kinda like a halftime show but.. not. lower case intentional, not proofread, possible spelling errors

-

synopsis - over the years, caine quickly grew enamoured by the circus darling, with the help of her captivating voice and stunning looks. loving caine was the best thing you could have come across. however, not many people see what you see in your boisterous fiance, or how he was able to even land you. thats okay! you're here to remind them!

-

notes - this was a CUTE request. i usually do my requests based on how difficult i think it'll be to whip smth out, and this seemed like a sweet and simple prompt. its also an excuse to continue pursuing my adoration for human caine. ugh hes so delectable i wanna eat him

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word count ~ 2k.

youve worked at C&A's Amazing Circus for quite some time now. everyday is nothing short of routine.

you didnt play a major part in the performances, however, over the years your act has become one of the top fan favorites. initially, you were a guest intermisson-ary performer, just to keep the fans entertained while the real performers rested and prepared. you took time off the casts' hands, alluring the audience with your wide vocal range, extravagantly gorgeous costume, and your enchanting looks.

you became high demand! and urged to stay as an official act. you were paid decent for a minor act, a total run of forty minutes to an hour of showtime, you made pretty good money. not only such, but you were constantly scouted for partnerships and other opportunities. you were incredibly grateful for the opportunities working with the circus had granted you and your career.

you became known as the circus darling. commonly referred to with a beautiful voice to match the face. you truly felt indebted, like you could never feel any more love than what was shown to you on stage.

oh, how you were so wrong.

and you learned such when you met caine.

he took on the role of ringmaster/circus director about two years into your involvement. you and him were the few official acts that had less than an hour of show-time, so often, you would chat it up backstage.

you couldn't help but feel light around such a guy as he. he was unapologetically him. he refused to let any sort of setback dim his brightly positive attitude and random remarks.

you quite enjoyed the way he carried himself with such oblivious pride, like he had no idea why he was happy, but it made him happier that he was happy. you enjoyed how he always made himself known in a room, without it being superficial or out of a need for attention, rather, that was just him. you enjoyed his innocance and his outlandish humor, cracking jokes that we so ridiculous you could feel tears prickle your eyes as you clutched your stomach when it ached from laughter.

he made you feel light on your feet. the way he aimed to see your smile simply because he thought it 'deserved to be there' (according to his own words). the way he never failed to make you laugh or grin. you could be moping around on a gloomy day, caine would do whatever it took to bring the sparkle back into your eyes.

you're tired? let me make you an extravagant caffinated pomigranate-berry-blast-shimmering-swirl-refreshing-herbal tea!

not feeling in the mood? how bout a game of charades except i make up random animals that are just two other animals combined and yu haveto guess them!

youre feeling insecure? let me make a dramatic but sarcastic scene (within privacy) about how much you wound me with your self pessimism while i remind you of every portion of you i find beautiful (spoiler alert, youre gonna be here a while..)

within a matter of time, you inevitably fell deeply in love with your outlandish ringmaster!

and oh boy was he overjoyed

he treated you like a GODDESS on earth man its crazy

he practically worships the ground you walk on, always going on and on about how stunning and talented you are, how you always make him happy.

--

sitting on the overhead tech room that over looks the ring, you watch your rowdy fiance stir the crowd up with his theatrical charm, listening to him crack slapstick jokes and make oddly humorous remarks that bring the crowd, and you, into a fit of joyous laughter.

you're sat next to tech manager, queenie, and her husband, kinger. you often visit them when caine is on show, so you can watch him perform.

its a routine basis at this point, dreamy sighs escaping your lips as you watch the love of your life pursue his passion, every now-and-then turning away from the audience and using it to his advantage to look above at you and shoot you a wink.

today was no different (for the most part), you giggle and blow a kiss back to your fiance as he turns back to the audience to entertain them more.

you sigh, seemingly enthralled with him.

as aforementioned, today was no different! except, jax decided to join you..

he didnt have a show scheduled today due to some difficulties in prop management. knives werent sharpened enough for the thrower to not worry about it half-heartedly sticking to the bulliten board behind his assistant and then dangerously falling off of it due to its dull blade.

of course, he didnt know this until after he arrived. now he had nothing to do, and so he chose to make that your problem.

hes sat next to you, mirroring your position with your head rested against your palm, leaning against the desk, except his face looks far more disgruntled in comparison to your lovestruck expression..

he looks between the interaction of the air-kiss and groans, sitting back in his chair, "auugh. you two are so gross" he rolls his eyes.

you simply chose to ignore him, and continue eyeing down your handsome fiance.

you daydreamed of the soft mornings you shared, where he would pepper sweet kisses gently on your face, while saying the most non-gentle compliments ever, "my dearest love, seeing you in the morning is like winning 10 lotteries and finding out your greatest enemy has gone bankrupt" he spurs out, "truly the most fortunate feeling" you always laugh at the bizarre things he says.

even when most people dont understand, he makes everything feel less serious. like the things you were once burdened with arent as important anymore, and the life that you were preemptively prepared to deal with constant stress and struggle seemingly dissapated the moment you were with him.

the way he made you laugh, the way he made you smile, the way he held you tight, the way he danced with you whenever he could, the way he would cheesily flirt with you, the way he teased you, the way he made you feel like you could be in the worst place in life and still be happy if he was there.

because you could say with one-hundred percent certainty that he would never let you feel any sort of undeserving despair.

that as long as he lived, he would always go out of his way to make you happy.

"i mean seriously, what do you even see in that freakshow?" jax interrupts your thoughts with a snide remark

you resolve your daydreaming and turn to him haphazardly, crossing your arms and letting out an inadvertant frown "he makes me laugh"

he scoffs and rolls his eyes, "sweetheart, i make you laugh too. so does gangle, ragatha, pomni," he pauses "hell, even kaufmo makes you laugh. and that guy is NOT funny."

you sigh, "its just, different."

"oh yeah, how so?"

you fail to notice the lack of your fiance on stage, who is now currently heading toward your direction, due to you being wayyy to engrossed in a conversation with jax. what a weird thing to say..

"it just is." you pause, "i dont- i dont really know how to explain it"

now, at this point your fiance has made it to the doorway. how you didnt notice him? i dont know. plot relevance?

he was planning on calling your name as soon as he entered, as usual, but seeing jax made him pause, and the hesitation granted the opportunity for him to hear the conversation.

now he stands there, intrigued.

"come onnn, you cant name a single reason you like your fiance??" jax pushes, "sheesh, id be hurt if i were him"

you abruptly sit straight, "thats not it at all, jax! i just-" you take a moment to breathe in, "have you ever been so- in love? that you just cant explain why?"

"no."

you roll your eyes. stupid jax.

"its just.. i cant possibly put into words.." pause, "the love i feel for caine. its like my heart is encased in the reality that someone like him exists. if that makes sense.."

silence.

you continue, "i feel the love not only in my heart, but throughout every part of my body. i feel it in my hands when he holds them. i feel it on my lips when we kiss. i feel it in my ribcage when he laughs."

"its like im not.. its like im downplaying it when i try to put the feeling into words." you look down and play with the hem of your dress, "its like im not doing the feeling justice."

"i love him. and that carries more weight than i can explain but, i feel it."

jax looks unimpressed. but your fiance,,,

oh gosh..

"OH, MY DEAREST STAR," caine shouts from the doorway, startling both you and jax into flinching, "I ADORE YOU, I ADORE YOU, MY LOVE!"

he saunters over and grabs your hands, tugging you up and lifting you by your underarms, you let out a startled squeal, "c-caine! what the- how much- when did y-" he cuts you off, "OH, I HEARD ALL OF IT, MY SWEET. I AM SO INFINITESIMALLY ESTATIC THAT I BRING YOU THAT MUCH JOY! I PROMISE ILL NEVER WAVER FROM SUCH!"

he puts you down and wraps you in his large arms, pressing you firm against his chest. one hand resting securely on the small of your back, and the other placed on the back of your head, cradling your head.

you reciprocate the hug, and sheepishly burrow your face deeper while clinging onto the fabric on his biceps. (his.. rather large.. biceps...)

he pulls away, his hands on your shoulders, and looks you in the eyes, "my love, my beautiful, stunning, drop dead gorgeous love, i cannot imagine fulfilling a purpose other than making you the happiest person to walk this earth. hearing you say that makes me feel like i do a good job at it." he has an unearthly wide grin, accessorized with a shade of red on his cheeks. he leans down and rests his forhead against yours, staring into your eyes with the tip of his nose touching yours, "i would do anything to give you the happiness you deserve. whether that be through silly jokes, drawing bees, or telling you that i wish my coins had your face on it."

you let out a chuckle and wrap your arms around his neck, "well, arent i one lucky girl."

he grins wildly and kisses you with a burning passion, fueled purely by love. he dips you and you squeal into the kiss. you can feel him smile against your lips.

as he parts, he places soft kisses all over your cheeks, nose, forehead and lips.

in the corner, jax groans, again. "this is disgusting. im outta here before i see things id need to go to a church to unsee." he saunters out, grumbling something along the lines of 'cheesy freaks'.

"im glad i make you laugh, honeybee." he grins

"im glad i get to spend the rest of my life gettin' a kick outta you"

~end~

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A/N -

aww what a cutie!

today, i saw the finale and bro get me outta here i cried the whole time.

i wont spoil anything, so hold those horses!!

however, i was recently requested with something along the lines of reuniting with human jax. and because i know some people havent seen the finale yet, and wont for a bit, i will be writing TWOOOOO versions.

thats right folks you heard it, TWO!

the finale affects the plot to where id have to alter it from being lore accurate, so the first version will be written as if it was written BEFORE the finale came out, where i wouldnt have had any idea about what happened in the last episode.

the second version, will follow the plot accurately, and will be released later on at a time where i feel a good majority of people have seen the final episode. unfortunately, that means it might take around a month..

but fret not, you will still be fed!! for the plot-divergant story is in the works! and you will be recieving a sneak peak very shortly!

not sure if that makes sense, but i will reiterate it in the sneak-peak post!

thank you for reading!

xoxo >3<

-ms. adagio blue

all rights reserved to msadagioblue on tumblr

plagarism or reposting on any other platform is prohibited.

i was thinking like human!caine but hes like super stubborn and wont go to sleep or smth.

IDK ITS UP TO UR IMAGINATION!! have fun with it

𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧!

pairing - 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧!𝐂𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

material - fluff, slight tension, Caine neglecting his sleep, reader innately worries, caine is lowkey HIGHKEY yearning, semi-oblivious reader, Human!AU, ringmaster Caine, no use of Y/N, use of (Name), fem-reader, reader is silk and hoop centered aerialist, lots of description, lower case intentional, not proofread, possible spelling errors

-

synopsis- after your new ringleader has taken the reigns of the circus, its been running significantly smoother than it did previously, influx in income, higher quality props and costumes, and a happier cast, all thanks to Caine.

who thought a newbie would be able to operate a circus so well? and who knew he was losing sleep to do so? well, when you find out, you aren't too pleased.

-

notes - thank you for requesting!! i see the vision, i see it. caine is such a cutie patootie, i feel like hes a little dense though, so i can definitely see him being the type to be like "im not dead yet, i dont need to eat" while insisting that there is still work he needs to tend to. except, with extravagance!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

word count ~ 4.04k

amongst the dim light protruding from your alarm clock, your hand reaches up to your throat, its so dry.. you sleepily sit up, rubbing your hand across your face, as if trying to lazily wipe away the condensation left from your presumable dreamland.

shifting around in bed, you grasp your bedside table in hopes of a cure to your dry throat, but all the sits there is half read book, a thrifted lamp, your phone, and an empty bottle of water. you groan as you sling your sleep-cumbersome body out from the solace of your warm bed, slip on a hoodie and your slippers, and step out into the crisp, cool air outside your circus caravan. the closest place to refill your water is in the common room, around the corner from the dressing room halls. the circus has a staff area, a rather big one, that you enter in from the back, which is approximately half a parking lots distance from the -fortunately safely secluded and secured- caravan lot. most of your cast members slept perminantely in their designated caravans. well, mainly because they were less like caravans and more like mobile homes. they were all very spacious, adjacent to a studio apartment with a bedroom and a bathroom. it felt homely.

some of your castmates, ragatha and pomni, had actual apartments, and only occupied the caravans when the circus was no longer stationary, for you travel a lot for showings. you lived there as permanently as you could. going home to your friends houses every other weekend, but you didn't own a place. your parents werent in the state either, so you were welcome to stay dormant on circus grounds.

kinger and queenie, your circus managers, publicity, financial officers are permenant residents, and as you came to find out not long ago, so was your new ringmaster/circus director. kinger and queenie, have a house down the road, but your ringmaster owns his boisterous, extravagant caravan himself. as previously mentioned, you at least take residence with friends pretty often, so you arent entirely perminant. he quite literally LIVES at the circus! its about a 2/3 bigger than the others, due to his perminant residence, and is located at just the same amount of seclusion from neighbors as you are, about a 2 and 1/2 minute walk to one another.

clutching the building pass in your hands that grant access to the staff circus area, you sheepishly slouch your way to the doors, the machinery making a light beep when you scan your card. a light click is heard, the door opens.

you hastily make your way into the slightly warmer hallways. the faint smell of hairspray, popcorn, and fresh cleaning supplies from the long gone night janitors linger in the air. you make your way from the entrance, past rehearsal rooms, down the hallway to the right, tip-toe quietly past the dressing rooms, each door left slightly ajar from he janitors, and down into the large common area.

it never used to be there. you reminisce on the memory of the large, cinema sized room being used as storage for racks of costumes and props. when caine arrived, he insisted that, if everyone was pretty much living at the circus, there must be a place where everyone can dispurse from work, and wind down together. he then pitched a costume room, with the help of backstage manager, zooble. she was estatic to not have to claw through metal racks and cheap second hand shelves that were seconds away from collapsing.

the room consisted of a few tvs, a lounging area, normal, but theatrical decor, a kitchen area, and a few medium tables. it was very - cozy.

it was very - caine.

you smiled at his efforts, youre not one to get sappy, but you really are indebted to his care towards you and your castmates well-beings. your previous ringmaster only fancied what was earned from the talents we had to offer. anything outside of line of business was none of his concern.

you sigh haphazardly as you refill your waterbottle from the fridge. sleepily resting your head against the fridge door for a moment, letting the cool surface settle on your forehead. you think over work. its been a lot. it usually is, but with summer season coming up, the circus is in more demand due to the influx of audience opportunities. everyone has been running around trying to sharpen their skills, rehearse as much. off the clock and/or on the clock, as they can. business meetings and contracts of temporary movements and trips to different areas around the country have swamped your normally lax and stationary routine. such is the life of a bustling performing arts center. you feel cumbersome. not literally, just mentally. like your shoulders are constantly baring the weight of everything. you sigh. at least with the new ringmaster, things arent as clustered. you retract your waterbottle from the fridge and head out of the commons, ready to retreat into the relaxing confinement of your bed.

as you make your way down the hall way of the dressing rooms, you gaze at the personalized signs of everyones faces, another item caine insisted, saying it "brought his bouncing bubbly circus babies a sense of belonging". whatever that means.

your eyes flicker past the doors, names automatically popping into your head. 'zooble, jax, me, pomni, caine, ragatha, gangle-' wait. you backtrack, a sliver of light catching in the corner of your eyes, a vast difference from the dark shadows enveloped at the corners of the slightly opened doors. contrating against its neighboring rooms, the light is on. in caines room.

you step cautiously back and stare at the door for a moment. someone must have left his light on. you press your palm lightly against the door, hoping this didnt look like an intrusion, not as if anyone was in the building. (presumably).

you step in halfway, reaching to the side to swith off the light, when you hear a quiet, surprised sound from across the room. your eyes meet the source. there he sits, messy haired, wide eyed, head tilted, confused and tired.

"caine?"

the name slips from your mouth before you can even register it, taking yourself by surprise, clutching the air softly by your chest, as if trying to catch the word before they reached his ears. a soft inhale. a glance around the room, and back to his disheveled (yet somehow inadvertadly charming) figure.

his hair was in its usual groomed back style, but with a few strands falling out of place.

he was dressed in his usual red suit he donned on days where he wasnt placed into a much sparklier, extravagant, and theatrical version of such, but the coat was draped against the back of the chair, and his tie came loose ever-so-slightly from his neck.

and when the presence of yourself settled in his mind, he grew his usual grin upon his face, his eyes landing on your pajama wearing figure, but the usual sparkle was dullened by the glimmer of exhaustion.

"why, isnt it past your bedtime, my buzzing honeybee?" he points out with a sleepy chuckle, clearly trying to maintain the ideology of him constantly being a boisterously theatrical guy.

you shift awkwardly on your feet, resting hesitantly against the door frame while crossing your arms, "i could say the same to you. what are you doing up so late? its like," you look at the clock on the wall behind him, "its 3:23. dont you usually get up to set up rehearsal rooms at 5?"

surprised at your inquiry, he raises his eyebrows. his grin never faltered, in fact, you could have sworn it grew.

"i never know you were so intrigued by my routine, honeybee! unfortunately, running a circus so blessed with performers and crew of such importance as you calls for long nights of paperwork to ensure you all thrive amongst the spotlight! dont you fret about me. i'm not the one jumping from dangerous heights on flimsy ribbons, my dear!"

a soft smile makes its way onto your face as you let out a breathey chuckle, shoulders relaxing.

he likes this.

presumably, of course.

perhaps by the way his grin grew impossibly brighter, or the way he invited you to the chair in front of his desk, a gentle gesture towards the seat, "come, my love, wont you sit with me for a moment?" he says, his voice unearthly smooth and tantalizing.

you notice he's oddly gentle when hes not expected to be his booming circustry introductory. of course, it was apparent, his personality, while still extravagant and expectantly loud, he was a lot more raw behind the curtains. out of the spotlight, he was still his uproarious self, but he felt less like a character, and more like caine.

the words filled a fluttering warmth within your ribcage, wrapping around your body like honey.

heat climbed through your body, as you flusteredly make your way haphazardly to his chair. stumbling in its place

he reaches his hands out to the middle of his desk, gesturing yours to meet following.

your cold, frigid, and calloused hands meet his warm, smooth ones. characteristically fitting for him.

something held in his gaze towards your sleepy face, puffy parted lips, and slightly swollen eyes, unbeknownst to you, of couse.

yes, you were too busy looking anywhere but your rather new ringmaster, for a rowdy whirlwind of thoughts spin through your sleep-fogged mind. what is happening here?

you inhale, looking up to meet his eyes. youre making this far more intimate than it needs to be by lingering in silence. you think to yourself.

you raise your chin, hoping to seem infinitely less flustered, continue inquiring about his lack of sleep.

"how can the circus run if its ringmaster is too tired to operate?" you push.

you do, truly worry for your ringmaster. this is not the first time youve witnessed his own personal sacrifices for the circus. a drastic parrallel between your half-ass excuse of a director previously.

°•°•°•°•°

you recall a time where you retreated from your act on stage, having finished. you hadnt drinken nearly enough water that day, and hardly had enough to eat.

you often have trouble remembering things like such, however, to a lesser degree. forgetting to eat a fair-share of fruit, or not remembering to refill your waterbottle, only leaving it halfway full.

today was an off day. a small bagel, and a half glass of water was all that kept you through the day. you werent sure how or why you forgot such a crucial thing to power you through a rigorous performance. you can bet, you never forgot to at least hydrate and eat decently after such, ever again.

you were wobbly the second your show-biz persona was out of sight from the audience. of course, in a haze of normal pre-show nervousness, you left your water bottle in your caravan.

you were quite a sickly sight, your castmates feared you may collapse any second. as caine burst through the door into the backstage room, he paused at the sight of your pale face, "marvelous performance, my silk swinging superstar! you truly carry such delight in our-" he stops. he rushes towards your side, voice a little softer and cautious, "oh my, what happened here? you look like you may drop any second!" he put his hand on your shoulder, looking around to anyone who could possibly explain.

zooble, struck up the proper explaination, haven recalled you mentioning your worry in passing for your lack of nutrition. "she forgot to eat something before the show. and she left her water in her caravan." you interupted promptly, "thats- thats not true! i- had something to eat. it just wasnt much.." you counter meekly.

he gives you a pointed look, much akin to a mother scolding a child, "what about the water?" he inquires. you look up at him, and sheepishly look down. he then stands upright, glances at his wrist-watch, looks toward the door and grins, before sprinting out of the room.

now, the backstage room, aside from the main entrance of the circus, is one of the farthest places from the caravan lot, for the circus is quite big. a usual walk, with a normal, leisurley pace, would take abot 8-10 minutes to reach the caravan lot from the backstage room.

caine made it back,

in four.

disheveled, slightly sweaty, and panting like a wild dog, he bursts back through the door, a small orange and a muffin in hand, along with your waterbottle in his other. you pay less attention to the fact he somehow had access to your room, ultimately coming to the conclusion you also forgot to lock it.

you wouldnt be surprised.

a bright grin on his face, through ragid breaths, hand you the food and water. "here- breath you go, my- breath flowering kitten museum, breath well needed sustinance."

zooble gapes. "you took your chances, on running half a mile away, to go to a caravan you werent sure was open?-"

"nothing but devotion to my dearest performers! the show goes on because of you! a little sprint does nothing but pump the blood to-"

"you were on in 8 minutes. when you left." they said incredulously, "you turned a 10 minute walk into a 4 minute sprint"

caine flushed

"all- all in a days work, showstoppers. fret not." he grins, "now, as you said my miss-matched cash piano, im on in four! wish me luck dazzling duck!"

thats when you first noticed the sacrifices he made for not only you, but the rest of your castmates.

buying pomni lunch when she forgot her food, offering jax something from the vending machine, finding zoobles clipboard, managing the prop lists for ragatha when she had a headache, doing things here and there for everyone. all while juggling his own things.

°•°•°•°•°

he chuckles, squeezing your hand. "my, my, dearest aerealist! the show must go on regardless of what happens to my intake of sleep. i assure you, my bashful berry bush, i will be quite okay." he insists, but you push back, "youre apart of the performance too, no?" you hesitate before saying the following, "itd be such a shame to have our dear ringmaster fall asleep in the ring." you scoot your chair -for it has wheels- around the desk, taking your place next to him.

you felt somewhere close adjacent to obligated to urge him to rest.

you felt as though you couldnt leave without making sure he ceased his neglecting of his sleep schedule.

you felt as if the only way to get through to him, was past the rowdy persona, and straight to the heart of your ringmaster.

although you refuse to acknowledge that it may also be a blatant excuse to flirt with said ringmaster, for you unadmittedly feel as though he is quite attractive.

his firey red hair with flickers of white through his roots of his scalp and beard.

his godly small waist, wide ribcage, and broad shoulders.

his caramelized voice.

his crowd-catching personality, that felt lke a rose amongst sunflowers, the way he caught your breath in a laugh.

the way he didnt seem to have a single, goddamn toxic bone in his body.

a drastic change from the previous men youve met throughout your life.

you would be lying if you didnt feel some sort of twist in your chest at his lack of care for himself sometimes. you wished he took the time to show himself the same amount of attention to his well-being as he did to you and your circus mates.

you didnt quite notice the way his ears tinted a shade of red at your sudden insistance at a closer proximity. his award winning grin seemed to falter into a lopsided smile, clearly feeling nervous.

"o-oh wow! how forward of you! but- really! i insist, my darling, i am quite alri-" he pauses. youve now placed a gentle hand on his chest, coaxing him into a silence, leaning forward into his space. "caine" you coo, "you already work your tailbone off for this circus"

you trace your hand slowly up his shoulders, and to his collar bone before settling on fixing his loosened tie.

his face is beaming red, and hes practically glowing at the attention hes receiving from his secretly most admired performer.

"why dont you head to bed now, caine?" you insist, "just- just trust me! it'll be worth it!" he sheepishly looks away, refusing to answer and meet your eyes.

you sigh, "your so stubborn.."

"'stubborn' is what keeps the circus going, my dear! these income approvals aren't going to submit themselves!" he states a-matter-of-fact-ly.

you quirk your eyebrow, you recognized that word. a slight frown tugs at your lips at the memory flooding back to your previous director filing income approvals to lower the overall income to the employees at the circus to focus on more widespread advertisments. "income approvals..?"

something shifts in his eyes, a worry that he may have had said something wrong

"im working on income approvals to raise the circus employees income by 5%" he informs, "i want to try to raise it every year by at least 3 percent. ive had to file each individual employee in the circus, however. you'd think it'd be more efficient to be able to file one as a whole considering these are only applicable to an entire staff team.." he trails off with a mumble.

shock settles into your bones.

thats what he's been up doing?

filing for higher income for the circus..?

for each individual employee?

"i.. why- what about-" you pause, "thats why you're still up..?"

"i mean- yeah! the sooner these are filed, the sooner they are approved. and the sooner they are approved, the sooner my dear circus employees recieve a higher income" he beams, "the workload, is daunting, yes, but it is all in good worth. the ringmaster plays a very little part in operating a show as wonderful as this. the backbone is the performers and the crew that makes the show HAPPEN!"

"i marvel every day and every night that i have the blessed opportunity to work alongside the most extraordinary people this world has ever met, in my humble opinion of course." he pauses and looks at the papers on his desk, a softer, gentler smile across his face, "losing a little sleep to ensure that you and all others at this circus no longer experience the neglect they faced prior to my entry, is something i would sacrific a thousand times, if it meant putting a smile on everyone's face. on.. your face. like aforementioned, my dear, i may be the ringmaster, but the circus does not run without its circusmates!"

"thats just not true!" you exclaim, abruptly, "sure, we make the show, but its just as good as nothing without you!"

he stares at you, eyes wide, and mouth slightly gaped

"you're contribute more that just the short time you roll the show on stage, or the paperwork you file, or the budget reports you send to kinger." you pause and take a breath, relaxing your shoulders as you continue speaking, "you care for us. you do things like this! you make sure we are all happy and okay! you made movements to include medical assistants on our staff, and first aids in every main room. you enacted we have places to relax and wind down in. you pay attention when we're more tired than usual, or look like we landed a trick wrong."

"the circus has always had a ringmaster, caine. the circus has always had a director. but the circus never glowed the way it does now that you're here."

you smile, looking upward to him, gliding your hand upward, rubbing small, soft circles into his shoulder. hes squirming, a inadvertantly bessotted grin taking place of his usual confident, free spirited one.

oh man, youve got him wrapped around your finger, and you dont even realize it. his entire work resolve seems to melt at the feeling of your touch. he feels his body complying before his brain registers.

"please, caine" you plead, "give yourself a break. go to bed."

"please."

he looks bewildered, he looks like he may pop into a pile of confetti any moment. he simpers, giving a relentful sigh, yeilding to your pleas and soft words that finally made its way into his heart. his drumming heartbeat made reason with his brain, as he forfeited trying to shake you off his concerning sleep habits.

"im- if thats what you- you wish, my dear" he bows his head, sits up and guides you with him by pulling your hand uptowards him. "ah- please, if youll allow me," he asks, "might i sign these last three lines really quick, i will meet you out in the hallway and walk you back to your caravan. is that alright, love?"

you nod curtly, squeezing his hand and walking out the door to wait for him to finish in the hallway.

a couple minutes later, caine is promptly walking through the door, flicking off his lights and shutting the door softly closed, "ill have to remember to apologize to the night cleaners, i kept them from cleaning my office by occupying it.." he says sheepishly while rubbing the back of his neck. you giggle and hook your arm in his, and you both make your way out into the sharp, cold air.

the rest of the interaction follows you walking back to the caravan lot with him, arm looped in his. delightful chatter that fills your chest with bubbles and is sure to remain in your thoughts until you give into sleep.

about thirteen minutes later, for caine insisted you stopped so he could show you exactly the bush he fell in when he tripped over his own shoes on his way to the building one foggy evening-, you reached the surrounding lot of your respective caravan. stopping promptly in a few feet from the porch, you look up at him and deliver a sleepy smile, your eyes visibly heavy, like leather. you let out a boisterous yawn. he reaches your upper arm and rubs it affectionately with a sympathizing as if trying to say 'i know' in regard to your exhaustion.

"well, my dearest love" the name makes you flush, "it is time we must part. as you said, we wouldnt want the ringmaster falling asleep in the ring, we also wouldnt want that for you"

you smile, too tired to argue that there are no shows tomorrow. just a busy day of rehearsals. "i hope i can get those files in by tomorrow evening, i fear ive already set the motion back too far by giving in to your desperate pleas to retreat to my caravan." he says, mockingly blaming you for his work set-back.

"yeah yeah yeah", you mumble, playfully rolling your eyes, "you're so stubborn!"

he beams at you, clearly amused at your half-hearted quip to his teasing. he then bends down slowly, and places a curt peck to your cheeks, "rest well, my love." he grabs your hand, bows down slightly lower, and softly and places another kiss to the back of your knuckles, never breaking the soft and intimate eye contact. "i look forward to seeing you again tomorrow."

your body ignites at the kiss on your cheek, and you could swear you could feel cupid's arrow peirce through your heart at the second one to your hand.

you stutter a string of incoherant babbles, all somewhere close adjacent to different ways to wish your ringmaster goodnight.

he smiles warmly, "sweet dreams, honeybee." he bows respectively and turns to walk away. you smile and utter a soft 'sweet dreams' to him in response.

you walk about five feet until your at the foot of your porch, before you turn and call out to him, "hey, caine?!" he turns, indicating he is listening, "i better not see you tomorrow until at LEAST nine!" you call out with a proud grin.

you see a smile make its way to his face, he calls out;

"you're so stubborn!"

~end~

----------------------------------------------

A/N -

OMIGOD, NOBODY BREATHE

this is my very first publicly published work ever, oh my lord.

guys this took so unneccesarily long to write, and i am so sorry. i was planning on having it out by monday, but each time i would plan to spend my day frosting it up, i would barely get an hour in to finish it.

i basically reached the end yesterday, but the way it was written felt rushed. like i was more focused on my missed deadline than the quality of my work. so i swallowed my pride, and dedicated TWO HOURS to polishing the end as best as i could.

please acknowledge, this is hardly proofread!

on a side note, ive gotten quite a few requests, that i am just DYING to whip up. im excited to throw stuff out their and finally create a masterlist!!

and to those wondering for a visual on our beloved human caine, check out @anessthetic 's wonderful artwork to see what he looks like!

(in MY opinion!)^^

thank you for reading!

xoxo >3<

-ms. adagio blue

all rights reserved to msadagioblue on tumblr

because i relate to her the most.

(DISCLAIMER!!! this isnt a hate post!! this is a character insight!!!)

i don't mean for this to be particularly edgy, or a vent post, no not at all. this is more directed to be an insight on HER character, not mine :)

ragatha, oh ragatha.

initially, i found her quite insufferable. dont come for me!

i found her character to be achingly aloof and meek. like she is so annoyingly unaware of the problems around her. her insistent positive attitude and inability to show that she has ANY grasp on the despairing situation. it was unbearable to watch her brush past the reality of everyone's grief and try so painstakingly to be a sort of pacifistic peacemaker when it was not needed!! read the room, girl!

i'm an AVID, "to feel is to heal" kinda girl. all the way. i believe trying to avoid such is a waste of time and making an effort to, not only pretend yourself that every thing is fine, but make an attempt to have everyone else be put into that avoidant, gaslighting mindset.

(dont even get me started on jax in a matter of gaslighting mindsets..)

i found her so annoying. i honestly hated her.

up until after episode four.

gangle mutters out something about her good intentions, but lack of sincerity.

something about that resonated and found its resting place where my soul lay in my ribcage.

something about that felt familiar. too familiar.

in episode five, as well.

the constant bickering, her mental fortitude and battle with her pent up negative emotions, but trying not to be mean or hurt anybody.

it felt so real. so raw.

then watching her bar scene, describing her mother.

everything totally fell into place. taking hits, LITERALLY like a ragdoll, from her mother.

that scene gave a feeling to me. it laid out exactly the mental dynamic she set up for herself.

'but its your mother! you couldnt hate your mother! she may be mean, she may yell and scream and berate you, but she sacrificed so much! you cant complain!'

'dont tell her how she makes you feel, shes got a lot on her mind.'

'you cant be upset, youll just burden her more'

'just be the happy little girl i know you are'

that is EXACTLY what went through my mind hearing her backstory

its like everything about her made sense. because she was like me!

like i said, this isnt meant to be a vent post. however, my mother, initially when i was younger, and she was in the pinicle of addiction, she was very angry. i felt as though it was my job to be a positive light. not only to be less of an added weight to her shoulders -younger me assuming thats why she was so angry and violent at the time-, but to keep my siblings happy.

i didnt want them to worry. and i developed a people pleasing mindset

i became that therapist friend, the advice friend, the one you vent to, the one who's always smiling. the ragdoll!

i became the one who was always a shoulder to cry on, but when it was me that needed such, people were weird.

and i hated that. i really did. i found it insufferable, i wished i could be as shamelessly unafraid to feel the things i felt like everyone else, i hated that i felt the pressure to always be happy.

just like ragatha.

of course, now with my better understanding of her character, i enjoy her presence a little more. as now, i understand shes not the way she is in a way of getting some ego boost from taking a pacifist route through the digital circus, but she just wants to be a light for those around them who cant seem to be one themselves.

but when her light is dimmed, whos going to be there to lead her through the dark?

a lot of times, we see a horrible female representation of main characters, especially in more indie centered animation.

female main characters are usually written to be this wonder of a woman, a sultry, provocative, but closed off bundle of desire, rage and capability. not entirely fictional, but not representative.

we often see male main characters representing your average guy surrounded by non-average side characters. hes relatable, he’s predictable, he’s normal, but he’s loved!

woman, within their lack of representation, are relatively new to the area of being main characters. many productions believe every female main character must be female this badass, incredible, and entertaining woman to keep the attention span of the fans.

producers think “yay a female main character now we won’t get blasted for being unrepresentative” when that character isn’t repping hardly ANYBODY!

obviously, a varying source of characters and personalities are a given for story telling, that’s not the problem. it’s the fact i can name only a few female characters who represent just a normal human woman that isn’t constantly put down for her boring personality or lack of archetype. however, i could fill a coliseum with fan favorite average male characters.

producers either;

make a male main character

make a unnecessarily copy and paste provocative female main character

or take a risk and provide us with a character that feels REAL

like i mentioned prior, these archetypical characters, female or not, need to exist in stories regardless, but the ideology that a female main character has to be something so eccentric and artificial for a production to keep attention is so unbelievably and inadvertently (i hope) misogynistic.

pomni is relatable. she’s nothing special. she’s not unbearable or obnoxious or constantly written for viewer attention.

she’s just herself. an average woman that feels. an average woman who lived an ordinary life trapped in a bizarre situation surrounded by characters filled with an emotional background.

gangles personality issues as well as her struggles in pursuing art and wishing she amounted more to her life before the circus, settling with her thought she didn’t take the opportunity to seize her dreams.

zooble and their insecurities and ambitions, their distress over the digital circus forcing them to leave behind the life they personally crafted so well, still struggling to accept letting go of what they built prior to getting trapped.

jax’s overarching obsession to be a source of entertainment and enforcing ridicule to avert humiliation, refusing to let himself feel real in order to shield himself from the despair of being trapped in the circus as well as keeping him self dissonant from the reality of it.

ragathas need to please and keep herself in the middle as a peacemaker, usually being the one that takes the hits, reflecting her abusive household she grew up with, conditioning her into forcing a facade of clarity and lack of controversy, infecting her into feeling a burden for having human emotions because she’s meant to be the one that takes the hurt for others.

kingers out of touch reality reflecting the time of being trapped in the circus without the presumable mercy of giving in to insanity, rather than, loosening his grip on such. constantly trying to grasp his way through the fog in his mind that time as forced to settle in.

and then there is pomni.

pomni is just an ordinary woman.

a ordinary job, a ordinary set of hobbies, an ordinary backstory all together.

none of the archetypical necessities written into her character, she represents the regularity of the situation. she represents the humanity in the situation.

she doesn’t have a tragic background. she doesn’t have overwhelming insecurities that keep her from feeling empathy for others, or prevent her from caring, she is there. and so humanely, too.

her grounded, level headed demeanor is exactly the balance that a show with side characters all over the place need. she adds that touch of reality. she’s real and relatable. she’s lovable because she cares SO real. she’s just a woman who grew up, who cares, who loves, who FEELS, who doesn’t have this overarching trauma that explains why she’s the way she is. she just is.

her trauma IS the circus. and she develops that WITH the plot.

she is just pomni. and we love her

why is it so scary to see more of that?

why are producers so scared to produce a woman that feels real?

let me cook guys let me cook