A Visual Thought Portal

"Someone who's too tired trying to identify themselves"

"At first glance, it reminded me of how people talked about their psychedelic experiences. Besides the complications of the artwork, I believe it interprets absolute peace and numbness"

"Having an extra set of eyes, very observant yet discrete. notices everything, but everyone does not necessarily know they do"

"I can't explain it but the first set of eyes are kind of observing and calm. The second set seems tired. It kind of resembles how the mind has a second eye and takes a second look"

"It's the face of disappointment. This person could be androgynous, no gender, you know. I feel like they're extremely disappointed in many different aspects of life. Society, patriarchy in general is just disappointing them, hence the four eyes. Each eye is just disappointed by several different aspects including gendered gaze or whatsoever"

There exists a non-tangible realm that holds the immense weight of all emotion. There exists another where all practicality manifests, a realm of physicality. The intersection of both realms is what I call being alive, not in a sense of mere existence, but existence in mere senses.

 Experiencing enjoyment in actions does not necessarily mean it's done with conscious intent. The collision of two worlds can be felt through this brief moment of the realization of its beauty. Only then this intersection is given a soul.

Ever since I consciously first unlocked this intersection, my life has become nothing but the slow merging of both realms in every action. I’ve always wondered why I closed my eyes while listening to music, meditating, and hugging. Through several intersections, I realized that’s how I channel the metaphysical being into my physical one.

It's fascinating how such mere frequencies color the soul and the fiber of being. Music offers much to the blind; those who have lost the sense of feeling. The less frequent the interactions, the weaker the connection. Less connection to the “divine” realm feeds the “spectacle”, which is society becoming a sedative first mentioned by Guy Debord (Debord). One becomes a machine, and intentions of actions are fueled by fear. Being subconsciously disconnected from the nontangible realm due to “Big Brother” (1984), one’s emotions become nonexistent. Their thoughts become an advertisement to the top one percent. They become merely channels of reception to manipulation and control.  Such a concept is portrayed very subtly across several mediums. How can one deliver a wake-up call to a suppressed brain-dead flock? One must become extremely fluent, maybe even merge entities with the spectacle, to do such bold gestures. The subtle messages have been communicated through several mediums. Once you're given the taste of feeling, you feel intensely and want to “inflict” that on the brain dead desperately. You become the wake-up call. From music to articles, to books, to movies, many mediums have been used to channel emotion to the emotionless. Marshall McLuhan brought light to a matter overseen by most in his book “The Medium is the Message”. The medium in which the desperate whispers are displayed matters most when living in a manipulated society, where your own thoughts aren’t even yours.

Once you take the “red pill”, you become the enemy (Wachowski). Pink Floyd has been whispering through their lyrics. “Another Brick in the Wall” portrays how the spectacle tailors and implants its sedative and toxins through education from an early age to be able to create its entity. It leeches on the innocence of the young and embeds its “claws” to take over their core. As they grow, the entity’s roots are deeply wired with their thoughts. As Alan Watts once stated, “We seldom realize, for example, that our most private thoughts and emotions are not actually our own. For we think in terms of languages and images which we did not invent, but which were given to us by our society”. Their song “Mother” is also a portrayal of “Big Brother”, the “spectacle”, the “Matrix”, and other code names for the greater hand. Mother does it very subtly. “Mother should I run for president?”, “Mother should I trust the government?” Pink Floyd uses contradicting phrases throughout the song, portraying life in the spectacle (Parker). “Mother” keeps one in a state of unconsciousness and instability, always seeking “guidance” from it. In the first half of the song, the “unconscious” seems to be in a state of confusion, still under the influence of “Mother”. In the second half, the “unconscious” realizes what “Mother” is. “Mama’s gonna make all your nightmares come true, Mama’s gonna put all her fears into you, Mama’s gonna keep you right here under her wing, she won’t let you fly but she might let you sing” (Parker). The unconscious becomes aware of the subtlety of “Mother” and how freewill, whether it be thought, actions, or mere living, is nothing but an illusion. Everything is just a display, an idea well embedded since early times. The spectacle leaves those who opened their “eye” and closed their eyes with a single benefit; One becomes attached to their identity. They start searching for it and fighting any enforced reality that goes against it. I see this very vividly in a song by Jannah Emam, known as Juno, called “Power of She”; “Take control over your living soul, no matter what they stole…silence me and I’ll speak a lot louder”(Juno Rou). Another song that genuinely speaks to me is “Lover of Mine” by Beach House. “Youngest fire, who decides? We decide what is right” (Beach House); Each empowers and delivers the wake-up call according to the identity they fight hard to ground. 

As intense as the suffocation in the matrix seems, one becomes blessed with the taste of the other realm with the merest doings. It’s the realization of feeling when doing things that make you want your eyes closed.  I’ve always wondered where they come from, feelings. Not in a physiological sense, in a more spiritual sense. I know for a fact our bodies exist in several other forms. Life is not merely physical. It does not make sense for it to be as such. As a matter of fact, I believe with all my heart we exist originally in the nontangible realm; we are souls experiencing life through a physical body. I’ve been unconsciously attracted to things that transport me to that unseen, lively, fluid, soul-full place. I float into that realm through physical portals. My first portal was playing the electric guitar; My first contact was when I properly played the first solo I ever learned. I closed my eyes and for the first time, the sense of realization colored my senses. I could feel it again. I was home for the first time.

Life is packed with much greater forces that drive us, whether it be good or bad. One shouldn’t feel superior to those who are still being sedated. Our ignorance is where the greater hand manifests. Humans are receptive machines to the ideas fed to them, it's absurd we define ourselves as the most intelligent beings. In a consumerist society, we are led to believe that we are so to fit the “paradoxical” narrative the higher hand has created. Conformity is a lifestyle enforced on us. The narratives fed to us through media manipulation, “science”, food, etc.… have further enforced the suffocating idea of the “living dead”.  Being receptive to a robotic extent, those who see through the spectacle, or the hidden narrative are indifferent to those who conform. To see through the hidden narrative, one must speak its own language. This language is deceivably subtle giving one the illusion of free will. However, we were led to believe so due to our naive nature and receptivity. The subtle nature takes form in the idea of belonging to a group (whether it be religion, politics, etc..), advertisements, media, and product placement. Humans are then programmed to live off of emotional engines; to be precise, a fear engine. Conformity is in such a matter completely sedimented and solidified. The more these lenses press down on one’s consciousness, the more they fuel the system. Being mentally, psychologically, and metaphysically paralyzed, it's extremely difficult to notice the “sedative” given to us. The “spectacle” and humans become one. Those who see through are in no logical sense superior. Being given the gift of contact with the metaphysical realm is a double-edged sword. Imagine trying to go off-grid from something that has made sure you stay just there all along. A never-ending run chased by nothing and everything. Running through what you’re running from.

But then at some point, you stop and think what is that I’m running from? I feel. I am in contact with a metaphysical being. This is what I’ve strived for all along without being conscious about it, and now I have it. Maybe I haven’t seen through. Is this an illusion? Am I still the walking dead? Have I not woken up? But I felt alive. Was it all part of the code? Why is music so out there when it offers such an other-worldly connection? How is it this accessible? Are the greater driving forces paving the way? Or is it the other greater driving forces paving the way? But what about feelings? I’m starting to think it’s another distraction. Am I seeing the spectacle for what it wants me to view it as? Have I not broken through? Should I run? But I’m running through what I’m hiding from. Has the spectacle spotted my “contact”? Or has it plotted the contact? What happens now?

For the first time, the painting forces you to look through not at it. In a poorly lit room with scattered art, the aura of this particular masterpiece connects to one’s metaphysical being. This connection was made in a whole new realm; a realm where nothing but energies exist. Its metaphysical being shone through the poorly lit room. Not many would notice its light; one would have to be pulled through to “its” realm to grasp its spirit. In that sense, such painting can be looked at through several different lenses, including “reproducibility” and “the spectacle”.On the morning of March 1th, our class was required to visit the Egyptian Modern Art Museum. The Egyptian Modern Art Museum contains a large collection of contemporary and modern art. The museum, which is a part of the National Cultural Center with the Cairo Opera House, is located right across the Nile on Qasr El Nil Street(“Gezira for modern art” ). The museum houses over 10,000 sculptures and paintings showing the progression of the Egyptian art movement from the early 20th century, some of which is made by the famous Mahmoud Saeed, Mahmoud Naghi, Ahmed Morsi, and Tahia Halim (“Gezira for modern art”). Since the art showcases and reflects the “outside” circumstances, most of the paintings show the (mostly) political and historical events. Art acts as a mirror to its era and records history better than books ever do. That is due to the sole fact that it is done by those who have loved through the experiences; They are not creating art to document the history, but to document the feelings.

The first impression the building radiates is that it's taken good care of. The walls looked freshly painted and the palace was spacious allowing room for the viewer to explore. The palace had three floors which got more crowded and less aesthetic with each floor. The first floor was the best medium for displaying the artwork. It had a plaza in the center with the art hung on the walls around it. Each painting and sculpture was given its space, which allowed room for thought and embracement. Walking through the small alleys reduced the building’s and the paintings’ auras greatly. However, this experience, in some sense, allows the viewer to connect to what they would truly connect to. The viewer would not be able to mentally relate through all the crowdedness, which adds more value to the art that the viewer actually connects to. Marshall McLuhan mentions in his book “The Medium is the Message” how it is important to comprehend the medium, more than the content itself (McLuhan). In the museum’s case, such a concept was very poorly executed. The place starts to become extremely crowded with sculptures and paintings making it extremely difficult for the viewer to comprehend any of them. The medium, setting, light, and display were absolutely damaging to the content. On the third floor, the alleys become too many for the viewer to follow; the paintings were also not put in a proper context in which the reader can follow, whether it be dates, similarity, or context. Such a representation radiates much regarding the value and worth of the art and how appreciated the artists are. Comparing the Egyptian Modern Art Museum to the Mahmoud Khalil museum, which housed non-Egyptian art, the Mahmoud Khalil museum was given much more attention regarding the representation, the aura, the effects, and the presented image. The Modern Arts museum contains many valuable artifacts, but due to the unsatisfactory setting, much of its value is wasted. On the most crowded floor lies a painting with great metaphysical energy. Out of the many surrounding arts, this painting completely jumps out despite the semi-neutral colors used. The

the painting had no context, no artist name, and no name. If looked at swiftly, one might only notice the strange entity floating above what looks like two people. Those two people lie within a smaller bright beige frame. The color palette used lies mostly within the grayish-green zones. The most vibrant color in the painting is of the floating entity. When looked at for a while, the painting unfolds its high vibrational and deep spiritual energy. It lures the viewer into a spiral of questions and barricades them off of their current reality. One’s consciousness becomes filled with emotions and depth. The painting displays a large dusty dark green frame with a smaller pastel beige in the center in which two old people lie within. One of the two people faces the viewer but does not directly gaze at them. The old soul looks far into the distance; through that, a very interesting dynamic is created between the two realms. The viewer's realm is looked through by the old soul, and the viewer looks through the old person’s realm. A vortex of energy between both planes comes to life, allowing the dynamic to flow freely with no restriction. The lenses in which the viewer mentally arms themselves dissolve; the vortex pulls the viewer’s consciousness into contemplation. The whirly figureless entity rising from both people’s heads and merging into one comes into the viewer's realm, the realm of pure emotion. The two people do not directly interact, but a vivid and deep connection can be sensed between both through the merging of their souls into pilgrimage. Although many professional-quality photos were taken, the vortex of energy and dynamic was not captured. The idea of reproducibility can not be applied to this masterpiece. No the entity floating above them. The entity starts appearing above their heads and merges into one entity with a smiling face. Although the painting breaks down any barriers or lenses, it can be fit into frames of thought. The first frame this painting fits into is reproducibility as defined by John Berger in his famous documentary “Ways of Seeing” (Berger). Reflecting back on the experience, it felt like a

matter how many frames this frame is put through, its essence can not and will not be captured. Such a painting, if put in a better medium and lighting, can genuinely be a spiritual experience. On the same thought train, this painting also escapes the idea of the spectacle. “The Spectacle” as explained by Guy Debord in the “Society of the Spectacle” is a suppressing and blinding sedative weighing down on people’s consciousness, pushing them towards fear through media manipulation and consumerism (Debord). A Soul with No Name, as I like to call it, is the polar opposite of the experience induced by the “spectacle”. As previously mentioned, the painting captures the viewer’s consciousness away from all induced lenses and guides it into an energetic realm; a realm in which the spectacle can not manifest. To zoom back out, the viewer is put in the wrong medium and can still experience the content of a whole other reality. Being put in a crowded medium may be the reason the viewer experiences what truly connects to them. Standing in front of the tiny golden frame of the nameless spirit, one may get the most meaningful epiphany. The mystery of the unknown creates a sensual aura and aesthetic that “shocks” the viewer with its beauty.

Walking around a room full of art makes one lose a sense of what they most relate to. On the morning of February 26th, our class went on the first trip to the Mahmoud Khalil Museum in Giza. After walking around observing the room full of painted stories, one caught my attention the most for some reason I have yet to figure out. Man with a Pipe by Gustave Courbet is a self-portrait of a man looking back at the viewer with a gaze that holds deep meaning. Why did this one, in particular, get my full undivided attention? What was relatable to my “metaphysical sense” that I couldn't fully grasp with my physical one? What was Courbet going through when producing the portrait?The Mahmoud Khalil museum was set in a palace built in the 20th century, specifically 1915. Khalil was a regular visitor to Paris, where he met his French wife, Emiline Lock, collecting many paintings. The palace was first a house for Khalil and his family, until after his death. At his request, the palace was then changed to a museum in 1962, housing all artworks he collected. In 1971, the palace was converted into a government headquarter but then transferred back to the museum in 1979. In the meantime, the artwork was transferred to Prince Amr Ibrahim Palace in Zamalek. The museum holds a wide collection of well-known artists including Van Gogh and Monet. It’s a three-story building hosting a collection of paintings, crystals, vases, gems, and works of lacarmen created by Chinese artists. The artist I chose for their work was Gustave

Courbet. Jean Desire Gustave Courbet was a french drawer, painter, and sculptor who was born on June 18th, 1819. Courbet’s adopted a philosophy in painting that mainly revolved around realism. Realism is the attempt of representing the shot as it truly is without any unnaturalness. Using such a philosophy helps identify a deeper meaning to the portraits, specifically the one I chose.Man with a Pipe is a self-portrait painted sometime between 1848 and 1849. It’s an oil on canvas painting with dimensions of 45 cm by 37 cm inside a golden frame. This painting shows a portrait of a man with ruffled hair and a generally messy-insane-looking face. The lighting of the shot is coming from above, making the shadows very prominent, producing a dark painting. The face and some of the body are a bit lighter than the rest making it the focus and the center of the gaze. The brush strokes are almost nonexistent, instilling the “realistic philosophy” Courbet adopted. This painting was the most famous out of a series of 24 portraits painted over a decade (1840-1850). The series of portraits express the “formulation of his early identity and psychological evolution” (Webster). Courbet described it as, "It is the portrait of a fanatic, an ascetic. It is the portrait of a man who, disillusioned by the nonsense that made up his education, seeks to live by his own principles." (Kren and Marx). Through his description, I see a man who seeks truth, but in arrogance. He discredits his entire education and lives on according to his own principles. I see vanity and arrogance, yet I also see confusion and madness. Did he lose his sanity and blame that on education? Did he just want to justify his arrogance for adopting his own standards and principles?When I first noticed the painting, a wave of slight confusion and awe took over me. As I walked through the museum, I only saw portraits of beautiful, “unruffled” women. When I saw Courbet’s portrait, I immediately noticed the difference in the portrayal of both genders. Seeing it with fresh eyes and no context, I got the sense that the man in the painting was filled with pride. He

looked with eyes looking down on the viewer. The first thought that occurred to me was that the painting represented vanity; unlike any portrait of the opposite gender. The man seems to be looking through the viewers, not at them. The gaze makes the viewers question themselves, in some sense. Why is he looking at me? Standing in a well-lit room in a museum where I get to judge, I feel judged standing in front of this oil painting in a small golden frame. There’s a very interesting dynamic created between the viewer and the man. The painting is hung at eye level, yet the man with the slightly tilted head feels higher and the frame feels deeper. The man in the painting was judging the viewer; unlike the way, it is with female portraits. The aura gave off embodied superiority and dominance. This painting, for me, was the highlight and definition of “the gendered gaze”. It felt like the viewer was the object of view, not the other way around; and with that, the viewer looks inwards. The power of the eyes in penetrating what's beyond the eye.,

In a world where humans are receptive machines to the ideas fed to them, it's absurd we define ourselves as the most intelligent beings. In a consumerist society, humans are led to believe they are so to fit the “paradoxical” narrative the higher hand has created. Conformity is a lifestyle enforced on us. The narratives fed to us through media manipulation, “science”, food, etc… have further enforced the suffocating idea of the “living dead”.  Being receptive to a robotic extent, those who see through the spectacle or the hidden narrative are indifferent to those who conform. To see through the hidden narrative, one must speak its own language. This language is deceivably subtle giving one the illusion of free will. However, humans were led to believe so due to their naive nature and receptivity. The subtle nature takes form in the idea of belonging to a group (whether it be religion, politics, etc..), advertisements, media, and product placement. Humans are then programmed to live off of emotional engines; to be precise, a fear engine. Conformity is in such a matter completely sedimented and solidified. The more these lenses press down on one’s consciousness, the more they fuel the system. Being mentally, psychologically, and metaphysically paralyzed, it's extremely difficult to notice the “sedative” given to humans. As Alan Watts once stated, “We seldom realize, for example, that our most private thoughts and emotions are not actually our own. For we think in terms of languages and images which we did not invent, but which were given to us by our society”. The “spectacle” and humans become one.

I’m sitting in my sister’s warm neutral-colored room on her wooden bed somewhere in tagamoa on a cold winter night at 11:39 pm. Lying in front of me is a frame displaying the endless possibilities of the universe. Within the frame is a tinier frame displaying a 1973 documentary about a guy explaining how looking through the frame changes the narrative; which makes me think about all the frames I’m currently looking through. Does that change my narrative? A human universe looking at the physical universe through a virtual universe, through a tiny laptop frame. Am I ever not looking through a frame? Where and what is the true unfiltered narrative?

Stare Back

Two motionless realities trapped in a frame;

yet each of them express quite more than just

inanimate existence. Each hold the end of a scale;

holding the immense weight of the world existing

between two simple words; perplexity and clarity. That

meager lifeless scale might not be so deceased after

all. It has incalculable mental fabric; generating

everything that is not a physical action. Feed your

scale.