I'm only short when I stand up.

I was watching the end of Valley Girl and it just now struck me how it's nearly the exact same ending as The Graduate, but minus the extra second of footage that changes it from a love story to a tragedy.

WHAT COLOR ARE THESE #LLAMAS?? The internet lost its mind yesterday. #whatcoloristhisdress

#DennisTheMenace is really just #TheBadSeed repackaged as a family-friendly comedy.

My very favorite part of #NYE, the #twilightzone marathon.

In our seats, waiting for #KinkyBoots! #sistersofperpetualindulgence (at Kinky Boots at the Orpheum)

#BeaArthur does not care about your #safeword. #bookclub (at The Tip)

And what do you make for @lenadunham #bookclub? Fork in Vagina cupcakes! #lenadunham (at The Tip)

What do you wear to @lenadunham #bookclub? Well, NOTHING obviously. (at The Tip)

This holiday, pledge to Give Books! For every reblog of this image with the hashtag #GiveBooks, Chronicle Books will donate a children's book to a child in need through First Book. More at http://givebooks2014.com.

Now THAT'S what I was hoping to hear at the #3percentconf @cindygallop (at 3 Percent Conference)

Women, laughing together (or alone?) using technology. #3percentconf (at 3 Percent Conference)

I'm here! I made it! Watching the awesome DeeAnn Budney, talking about the Super Bowl. #3percentconf (at 3 Percent Conference)

When we bought our house, it came with this lovely red phone hanging on the wall in the kitchen. While it's active, we never use it and it almost never rings. We keep it more as an homage to this old house, and also because you know at some point there will be a disaster and all the power will be out and our cell phone towers won't work and we will have the only working phone line in the city. Well, us and whatever elderly people live nearby. But when that happens we will be fucking Kings. But anyhow, the phone just rang a moment ago and it was so startling I actually answered it out of curiosity. It was a wrong number, of course. But it was so charming to actually talk on an old phone, hang it up and then... walk away. I didn't push a button and then put it back in my pocket. I just walked away. Weird, right? I realize I kind of miss that old world. I mean, I don't miss actually talking on the phone, because I fucking hated that since I knew what talking on the phone was. But still, it was like a tiny bit of time travel, right there in my kitchen.