Everlasting

The trip to the house of the Hawthornes was something of a blur for Henry. He remembered departing from his own residence with the insistence that he could manage on his own and then....not much, until he found himself at the door, being admitted to see Beatrice. So preoccupied had he been with his own thoughts, swirling around the inside of his head like a hurricane, that the trip over had happened without him paying it any mind at all.

He was grateful to find that when he was shown into the room where Beatrice was, his presence was announced by the member of staff who had led him in, and then they were promptly left alone. Was this the byproduct of them both being widowed, which somehow made them more trustworthy? An exceptional circumstance brought on by his status as a highly sought after bachelor? Simply a stroke of incredibly good fortune and equally excellent timing? It was hard to say with any certainty, but he was glad nonetheless, because this was a conversation that he certainly did not desire to have any prying ears around for.

At first, he went to sit down beside her, before he changed his mind and took to pacing instead, his expression pensive. He remained quiet for a moment as he paced back and forth, though whether this was mainly to give himself a chance to try and reign in the chaos of his thoughts, or to feel sure that no one was going to come in an intrude before they began, even he couldn't really say. Finally, after clearing his throat, he stopped in his pacing and asked, in as steady a tone as he could manage "Is what I've read true?" After a moment's pause, during which his pacing resumed, he added "Because if it is, then I don't think I need to tell you what my next question will be, do I? Surely not. I, perhaps, do need to tell you though, that if the answer to both of these questions are yes, then there is nothing that would bring me greater joy to hear, Beatrice. Nothing. Whatever the complications involved in that situation being the reality may be, I will be joyful. I need you to know that before you give me your answer."

Whistledown.

How an inconsequential, no doubt third rate human being would have knowledge of her married life and that of the unborn child inside her, Beatrice did not know.

What she did know however, was the knowledge was out there. People knew, and whether or not they thought there was any truth to the words, they had an opinion on it. The masses had opinions and whatever the ton decided, would be how she, and her in-laws would be treated.

Her emotions had been tumultuous. Ranging from anger to fear, from fear to annoyance, from annoyance to acceptance. She felt as if she were a spinning top. So much so that she had not even had time to consider what Henry must have thought of it all.

When she had been told he had arrived, her body had been laden with anxiety. She had been frozen in her spot for a few moments before managing to scrounge up as much courage as she could possibly possess in so tiny of a body, before going to meet him in the sitting room. They would not be bothered. The staff were understanding enough to know that if Duke had graced their halls, that they were not to be disturbed. Especially after such news had been released to the world.

Beatrice seated herself on the sofa, watching with baited breath has he paced. The Henry she knew was kind and thoughtful, and understanding. Yet the fear that had it's claws within her made her think that he would lash out and deny her from ever gracing his presence again.

The words that passed his perfect lips however sent her mind reeling, a look of shock appearing on her countenance. Tears began to well in her eyes despite her desperately willing them away. "You needn't ask a second question, because the answer to both is yes" she let out breathlessly. "I did not want to tell you when we met last about it - I thought it would be unfair to put that on you, especially in such a public setting... I was going to tell you soon, but the news came out before I could control it."

Nevertheless, he didn't have a lot of time to dwell on that feeling before he was being swept up by much a happier one. The many times he had played this reunion over in his head throughout the past several months, he had imagined it very much like this, and so it was rather surreal to now have his own imaginings playing out in reality. When she reached out to take his hand, he wanted to pull her in and kiss her, and forget about the world around them, but he settled for simply returning her squeeze with one of his own, and beaming down at her.

"You are quite right, of course. Fate has seen fit to allow our paths to cross again, and I think it would be mightily foolish of us to ignore the signs and not take advantage of it." He told her with a nod, whilst fighting to keep his tone composed and measured, rather than allowing the purity of his excitement to burst through and prompt him to shout out to the heavens. "I should let you get back to your business in the square, and I should return to mine, before the both of us are missed. But please, tell me where I can call on you, and I swear on my honor that I shall do so at the first opportunity. In fact, I shall think of nothing else until I do."

However, standing before Henry, Beatrice felt that whatever hope she had wasted on Peter had been just that - a waste. Henry wouldn't say such things and then ruin that spark of joy. not after he had been searching for her.

Beatrice gave him her address, praying that Henry would manage a visit when her siblings-in-law weren't at home, or she'd have to figure out a falsehood to tell them as they were apt to wonder why a Duke was visiting her. "I shall think of nothing either, your grace. I shall eagerly await your visit." She replied, offering him a slight curtsey before taking a step away from him.

"Until we meet again, Henry."

"I truly cannot express how much joy it brings to my heart to hear you say that." He admitted, feeling an overwhelming desire to scoop her up into his arms in that very moment. He wanted so badly for this to be the answer to all of his prayers; both the ones regarding her, and the ones with regards to his need for a wife. But that was a lot to put on her, especially given that, however strong the connection between them had been, they had only known each other a very short time. Yet the thought of walking away from her just then was, to use a word she'd chosen, maddening.

"I..I, of course, understand if you wish to leave that experience we shared in the past and never speak of it again. I gather from the dark shade of your clothing that your situation has changed in the time since we met, and so...if you were hoping to explore your options before you commit to anything now that you are newly free...." He trailed off for a moment before he sighed and added. "Well then, that would be most understandable, if you were feeling that way." He said all of this slowly, trying hard to keep his tone free of any emotion that would betray the sentiment of what he was truly feeling inside; that if that was the case of being what she wanted, he didn't understand it in the slightest. "But I must confess to you that I...I do not wish for that to be the way that we move forward. I tried to find you because I did not wish for that experience we shared to be the only one of its kind between you and I...I still don't. I want for it to be the beginning of something, not the end." He felt his face flushing and he shook his head. "I apologize if I'm not making any sense, or I'm being unclear. It is rather difficult to try and express the many thoughts I've been having since the moment I laid eyes on you here today."

Despite ever knowing if she was going to come across him again, the thought of trying to find another husband hadn’t crossed her mind. Of course being a widow meant a certain freedom would be allowed to her, but she in truth, hadn’t thought that far ahead. With her current predicament, she was forcing herself to take one day at a time as to not get too overwhelmed. 

“You are correct in assuming my situation has changed… My husband, whom I informed you of when we first met is no longer with us.” She replied evenly, taking a fraction of a step to get closer to him. Her blue eyes slowly moved over his countenance, taking in just how stunning he was as he spoke - despite how nervous he must have felt. “I will be truthful with you and say that I do not wish for what we shared months ago to be the end for us. I agree with your sentiment and want it to be a beginning. I do not think that it would do well for either of us to have been searching for one another just to give up now that we are in the same proximity.”  A soft chuckle escaped her, and Beatrice gingerly reached out to touch his hand, squeezing his digits quickly with her gloved fingers before pulling her hand away. “Besides, there is much about you that I am still eager to learn, Your Grace.”

"You needn't be in a rush Sir! I am sure the goods you chose will not lose their heat too quickly." She motioned ahead of them, "There is a table there with some chairs. Should you like to sit there?"

The simple truth was, their chance encounter had been the subject of many of his moments of private thought over the past few months. How desperately he had wished that they'd parted with more to go on than just a first name, as he knew very well that it was most certainly not enough, though that had not stopped him from trying anyway. He had even returned to that stretch of road where they had met on several occasions, hoping that she might come along again, but it had never come to pass. He had been forced to come to the conclusion that perhaps the experience they'd shared had been meant to be a one-off, and he wasn't meant to see her again.

That certainly didn't seem to be the case now, though.

"You asked how I've been, and, I will tell you that, for the most part, I have been well." He said, gently taking her arm to lead her to a spot just outside the market square where they could speak with less risk of ears listening to them. "However, I would be remiss if I did not take this opportunity to tell you that I have thought about you often since that day that we met. Often rather restlessly, I must admit." He said with a nod of his head. "I tried to find you, but I was unable. Not even returning to the spot where we had our first encounter yielded the results I'd hoped they would." He sighed, and shook his head. "I hope you'll forgive me if what I'm about to say is impertinent, but...have you thought about me at all, in the time since that day?" He couldn't help but wonder if, perhaps, she had been content in allowing that experience they'd shared to be what it was, and nothing more.

Before she could possibly think of something else to say, Henry was gently leading her away from the market stall and despite the layers of fabric between his hand and her arm, there was a spark of heat where his hand lay. 

Beatrice felt as if she were reeling, and she had to inconspicuously pinch herself as Henry began to speak once more, the soothing timbre of his voice calming any nerves that had taken over when she’d initially seen him. 

“You tried to find me?” She let out, rather breathlessly. So they had been searching for one another. It was wicked, and wonderful all at the same time, and she could feel a light flush make its way into her cheeks. Beatrice wanted nothing more than to reach out and take his hands in hers, to reassure him that she had in fact thought of him. Fondly, and often. Yet she knew that if anyone were to see such a gesture there would be talk.

“Y-you are not impertinent, Henry. I doubt you ever could be.” She began, worrying her plump bottom lip between her teeth. “In truth, I looked for you as well. Though my method was not that of going back to the place we met, I did look for you... I could never find you, yet you were an all but permanent fixture in my thoughts. So much so, that you were there in my dreams.” Beatrice felt a sigh escape her and she looked up from where her gaze had fallen, her heart skipping a beat as their eyes met. “I have done nothing but think of you since then, and it has been maddening to say the least.” 

walking past the stalls, he spots one selling baked goods. he couldn't help but walk over. back in the day, he would scope out the competition and report back to his brother. now the seller simply smiled at him and went on his way.

a sudden voice took him out of his thoughts. the woman besides him admiring the goods. "i've seen better. i mean, i've made better- tasted better." he looks down at the bread in near disgust as if there were mold or worms. it was a perfectly fine piece of bread.

the table is filled with all sorts of sweet treats, their scent wafting through the air and beckoning him forward. his stomach grumbles, reminding him that he hasn't had a proper meal since dinner last night. by the time he'd woken up, late as usual, the staff had already finished serving breakfast. a cookie or a petit four couldn't hurt.

the merchant is already distracted, but there is a woman standing there admiring the baked goods. she turns to him and asks what he thinks of the array of the sweets. he plasters a smile on his face."i've never seen such a delectable looking display," he replies, "not even when attending an event hosted by the queen herself." he puts a hand in his pocket, twirling the beads hidden inside around one of his fingers. "it's almost too difficult to choose."

There were too many options, and it seemed, that her stomach was forcing her hand. Her brow furrowed momentarily before letting out a sigh. "I am unsure if i could finish anything on my own..." It was uncommon to split food with someone one didn't know, but really, what harm could come of it? "Why don't you choose what you would like and we shall split it?"

Henry glared at his man accompanying him, his expression filled with disdain. How he hated being announced in such a way, as if the people going about their business needed to know who he was; most of them wouldn't care, and he didn't want anything to do with the ones who did! The crowd parted some as he strode forward, his eyes surveying the many stalls, trying to find the one he had specifically come for, but then his eyes landed on something else that put any thoughts of his reason for being at the market out of his mind. Suddenly he found himself pushing through people to make his way over to the bread stand. He vaguely heard his man shouting another proclamation to make way for him somewhere behind him, just as he was reaching his new destination. He hadn't dared believe it until he was close enough to be sure, but now there could be no doubt. It was her.

He heard her question, but her meaning went over his head entirely. Instead, he smiled and nodded, his eyes still fixed on her. "Yes...Most wonderful indeed." He agreed, though he was most assuredly not referring to the baked goods, as his eyes had not even for the briefest of moments taken them in....

"MAKE WAY FOR THE HONORABLE DUKE OF SUFFOLK!! HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN'S DIAMOND BACHELOR OF THIS SEASON!!"

The loud shout pulled him out of a haze, and he shot his man another nasty look before he quickly brought his eyes back to her again in anticipation of what she was going to say to this most unexpected reunion.

The sound in the market quickly faded away, and Beatrice thought (for the briefest of moments) that she was in a dream.

For he had haunted many of her dreams since the last time they had met. She had imagined situations such as this. Where they were drawn together by fate once again. Of course, her dreams usually took a more wanton turn, but the fact that he was stood before her, looking at her with eyes that had all but haunted her... It almost couldn't be real.

However, it was real. He was most definitely standing before her, and he was most definitely not what she had been expecting. "Did he just say Duke?" she let out, her hand quickly going up to her lips.

The words hadn't meant to tumble past her lips, but his title was a shock as much as it was a surprise. In truth, after their rendezvous, she had tried looking for a Henry. As inconspicuously as a married woman could. Though, that had been as if she had searched for a needle in a very vast haystack.

"Apologies my lord, I do not know what came over me." Beatrice replied with a small curtsey, silently taking a moment to mentally wince at the dark shade of blue she wore (in truth it looked black, but the fact that she knew it was a deep blue was enough for her). "I- are you well?"

'Are you well?! Have you lost your mind?' She thought to herself, offering him what she desperately hoped was a warm smile.

There were too many options for Bea to really take any into true consideration. She just wanted to eat something, and quickly. "I could not possibly accept you purchasing anything for me, but you are correct. The baked apple pudding looks and smells divine." Beatrice reached into her reticule, pulling out enough for two apple puddings. "We'll take two please, good sir!"

A mischievous glint formed in her eyes as she looked at Bella. "You were the one who joined me, it is my treat." Bea stated, taking the treats offered by the stall owner and holding one out for her friend to take.

#me at every function where there are people