MrSmaq

"Thought it was you and me, baby. And now it's all just a shame. And i guess i was wrong"

Stop lying to yourself, someone who lies to themselves and listens to their own lie, long enough. Comes to a point that they cannot distinguish the truth within them or around them. With doing so they lose all respect for themselves and for others. With having no respect they cease to LOVE.

The lies start small. Its a space between what you actually feel and what you tell yourself you feel. Gradually it starts growing bigger but, the difference between steps are so small that you stop noticing the difference all together.

The contempt you carry becomes clarity. The story you tell yourself of why you pulled back becomes 'the truth' or the accurate account. The one telling the stories, over time, cannot distinguish where the comfortable version end and the true one begins.

It starts inside you, like a seed, and bursts open and grows out into everything around you.

The danger of being in such a state is that the comfortable version is partially correct, and you use that partial correctness to avoid examination.

So you stopped questioning your own story, you just maintained it. If you stop maintaining your own story and start questioning it, you can notice how you have made yourself unavailable to true genuine connection.

I guess i am/was the fool sitting alone...

Hey

YOU

With your blue headphones on, walking, not looking around like you've been here a million times.

Your gaze glued to your phone. You're in your own little bubble.

Hiding your face in all that hair.

My heart dropped, suddenly i feel like my heart is beating out of my chest. Scared to know what i would do if you had looked up.

What if you had looked up? What if we locked eyes?

I never got over it, really.

Cause how does someone get over the regret of losing you?

My notes are filled with all the futures that could've been.

You are an absolute pleasure to know. You are kind hearted, a beautiful soul, you are just every reason to fall. But if you had never met me it wouldn't have mattered in your life at all.

I guess it was just wasn't the right time. But I wish it had been and I hold those thoughts like a lock I have lost the key to. But I confess before I know if I should. I never got over you. Honestly I don't think I ever could. I loved you immediatly. It was like a dopamine rush. I never felt that way about any other crush before. Because I loved you, before love even had time to fall. I loved you I did. To call it something else would be cruel.

So I started making myself better. I loved you so much I used it as a new standard setter.

How can you still love someone if you think they are suppose to leave? I loved you don't leave, please stay. Don't leave because that love isn't gonna leave my heart anyway. Don't leave, I didn't say it then. But i wish I had. Don't leave because I know the future without you, it's pretty fuckin' sad.

Dont leave I mean it. Leave if you must but I really need you to know that I think part of me will always love you.

But if you were to never return,

what a hell of a lesson the loss of you was to learn.

Di e manera ku bo ta karga bo mes, independiente, mi ta enamorá dibo tur dia, si mi wak bo of nò.

Un mirada dibo i mi ta bira kontentu.

Sin hasi falta lo mi bisabu kon bunita bo a keda awe i tur otro dia.

Hasi manera bo no sa ku mi ta enamora di bo, pero nos tur dos sa bon bon ta ki nos ta sinti ora ku nos lòk nos wowonan riba otro.

I si un dia lo bo ke purba loke bo no ta haña un bon idea, mi tei semper pa hasi bo soño un realidat.

You are the one that can be super caring,

You can get really annoyed,

I love the way you just let out your actual feelings.

You are amazing.

You are a sunshine on a cloudy day.

You make me happy.

Im falling for you,

For the 10th, 100th and for the 1,000,000th time all over again.

I love you and no one could ever make me feel differently about you.

You are my angel :)

I wonder, what if one day i woke up and had no memory of you, us or anything we have ever done.

How would you try to remind me who you are?

Would you even want me to remember you?

Would you leave it behind and start over?

Would we still lock eyes like we did the first time?

Would our story start again?

If i asked you to describe me to me what would you say?

If i asked you the bad things i did, would you tell me?

I will.

I forgot.

it's only okay when you talk about your feelings,

because mine only cause arguments.

I know you don't want me, I'm not stupid.

I see it in your silence, distance, the way your words don't feel the same anymore.

But yet I answer, I answer because a part of me holds on to a little hope.

Hope that just maybe one day, you wake up and change your mind.

You see me, really see me for who i am and realize I was actually worth it all along.

I'ts not easy living like this, caught between the reality I feel and the dreams I don't want to let go of.

I tell myself i'll leave it all behind, I deserve better.

But everytime I try, I convince myself to hold on just a little longer, just in case.

So here i am hoping for that one day to come, even if deep down i know it might never happen come.

I know it's stupid of me, I am probably hurting myself more than anything else.

But the thought of giving up on you, more then anything else, feels worse then the pain of staying.

That's when I realized I am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her...

I want your warmth

I miss you...

She: I don't want to do this anymore

He: This argument or just talking in general?

She: Both

He: Ok

She: you will not stop me?

He: No, this time i accepted your decision

She: But you loved me so much, how can you easily let me go?

He: Oh yes I loved you and I will never love that much again. But you are not the same person I fell in love with. you left me crying, you left me begging you to stay and left without looking back...

you made me feel so worthless...

I love the memory of us together and all the plans we had, but I can't keep loving someone who, obviously don't want me...