MrDominos

i often see people quoteing me on twiter and tumblr, and it always makes me feel coll. i like being quotable, i think one of poetry’s importent roles is to create memorable lines that capture important ideas, like mantras, or anthems . writers like @postcrunk and @santinodela impress me for how their 140 characters can tell us so much about how to live !! and i’m proud to have done that prety well with some of my own lines: “make something beautiful before you are dead,” “stop pretending it’s boring to be alive,” etc

but i actualy get the most excited when people quote my other lines.. my realy fucked up ones haha —my lines about mutilating my own dick, and stuf like that. maybe it’s werid to you, but i feel a deep conection with the people who appreciate this fucked up humor. one of my all-time favorite frends to text message has been jamey strathman because , well, this stuff haha :)

for me the folowing quotes have been the source of such deep and intense laughter, while editing my videos or remembering them months later. how often do you laugh so hard it hurts your face ? you can’t fake that kind of hard laughter . i think it’s such a real & amazing response to have to art. it’s so visceral , often on the same level as crying

most of these quote’s are taken from my older videos, early 2012 especialy. i noticed after a while that many of my folowers dont like the dick-mutilation jokes, haha , (go firgure! ), so i starting burying them later in my videos, i said them less often or removd them all together . but i think that choice has made me enjoy my work less . real talk i think i used to get more excited makin videos

so realy this post is in honor of doing what you love as an artist , even if “success” is callin u to do somthing different. i dont think i’ll go back to sayin things about dead kids , because i realized those might be triggering for som people.. if so, sory for including them here ! but mostly i think this is a very importent list for me to make. i have to embrace who i am

so on that note, here is the top 38 most fucked up steve roggenbuck quotes, with the video links after. haha ok :) enjoy

"if you’re a dad, just come over and fuck my armpit" (x)

"i’m over here suckin’ my own dick for money. i’m gona suck my own dick for $500. i get paid $500 a day to suck my own dick. i don’t even gotta leave my own home because i get paid to suck my own dick. i actually feel the most alive when i’m watchin’ a football game on tv. and then i whip my own dick out and just start suckin’ my own cock. i go to car dealerships, start suckin’ my own dick inside the cars" (x)

"frickin’ pierce my dick and shoot windex into the holes" (x)

"literally just fuck my dad with a bag of checkers" (x)

"shove a potato chip bag in my penis hole" (x)

"i wanna spread that little poop canoe deep in my buttcheeks. i wanna push that little poop canoe" (x)

"jab the ball point pen into my nut sack, tear a hole. a hole has been ripped—in my nutsack" (x)

"just wipe your poop right into my hair… [i’m] drying a casement of poop around my head" (x)

"what else are you gonna pop my dad’s dick with? cinderblock? a vice? a hammer? rubber mallet to pop my dad’s dick. rubber mallet to pop ross perot’s penis… pop ross perot’s dick. slice my dick vein." (x)

"i’m suckin dead kids’ body parts through straws" (x)

"cut my dick foreskin with toenail clippers" (x)

"i wanna get my dick stuck in a whisk" (x)

"pizza party with a dead kid" (x)

"i love kids of age 9 to 11" (x)

"you ever seen anything like this? a guy suckin his own dick??" (x)

"my hoodie’s made of dead alien rat nutsacks" (x)

"does anybody even know what the legal limit of dead kids that you can have? i’m gonna be honest i’ve got about 17 dead kids" (x)

"and then i put hair polisher inside of my dick" (x)

"i import about 3 cockboys every month, ‘cause my cockboys keep gettin killed. my cockboys keep gettin into accidents. i dont kno what hapens to these cockboys (x)

"i truly sucked drake’s dick" (x)

"you’ve been tickin’ your family off by puttin’ spermicide in their hair care products, haven’t you?" (x)

"i’m ready for justin bieber’s 4-inch penis. i’ve been ready" (x)

"fuckin’, my dad’s got skidmarks on his dick from fartin’ on his own dick" (x)

"you got deported from new york state because you were an illegal hinduist cockblock, is this correct?" (x)

"shove it deep in my grandpa’s hole" (x)

"sidewalk chalk is about the thickness of a dog’s cock" (x)

"you really wish to see me indulge on my own dick?" (x)

"i’m gonna put my dick into a juice press" (x)

"i actually do clog my asshole intentionally" (x)

"i live to suck dingo cock. i live to suck the cock of a dingo. what? yes, i truly live to suck dingo dick." (x)

"jam a toothpick in my peen" (x)

"yeah if i had to name a cereal after my asshole i’d name it ‘fucked up lifestyle’" (x)

"you were saying something about sucking a kangaroo’s dick?" (x)

"i’m actually not sure if i can achieve my dreams, fill my refrigerator with dead kids fuck me every day" (x)

"cork my hole i’m on a roll" (x)

"mason jar of my dad’s spermicidal lube, drink that shit down" (x)

"i want lightning to come down and strike my dick" (x)

and probably the #1 most fucked up qoute i have ever said:

"i told jacques derrida, ‘you get up on this fucking chair, and i will stick this flathead screwdriver so far up your asshole…’ it was a flathead screwdriver, so it didn’t even have the rounded point of the phillips. i was using the phillips later on him" (x)

ok nice.. very nice work steve rogenbuck.. ok keep it comming we are proud of you !!!

THE MOST INSPIRING 3 MINUTE’S OF LIFE