dear other feminine trans men:
i know it's hard, i know it feels like people will always fight you on who you are. i know it feels like people will always reduce you to your body plan. i know people will come up with a million excuses as to why they think they know you better than you do.
i know it feels hopeless at times. i had to hypermasculinize for many, many years- i felt like i had to really drill it into people's heads that i was a man first, before i could get them to then understand that i am a feminine gay man. i tried so hard to be masculine that people were interpreting me as a cishet man and that gave me even worse dysphoria.
you know who you are. it doesn't matter what body you were born in, you are who you are. you being feminine does not undo, undermine, or erase your manhood. at times, the rest of the world can get very aggressive and hostile, but you know who you are. people can tell you who they think you are, but their opinions are just that- opinions, guesses, speculations.
if you feel like you're having to fight to be a man in the first place before you can be a feminine one, you're not alone. you shouldn't have to claw for scraps of your identity at a time. if you are around people who make you have to prove or defend yourself to them just to be acknowledged correctly, you are not being shown respect. whoever treats you that way does not deserve to be shown any in return. if someone will only accept parts of your manhood, or if they only accept it under certain conditions, they're not accepting YOU. they're forcing you into a box you don't belong in. you deserve to have your entire identity accepted at face value, not cherry-picked. you deserve respect. you deserve better.
I relate to this so much. Â
