I can't find myself if I'm lost in you.
Mountain Rose
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@mountainrose6
I can't find myself if I'm lost in you.
Mountain Rose

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Maybe he's right. Maybe you are the worst.
Never thought id be feeling so all alone.
I wish I could freeze this moment with you forever, so i could promise you eternity.
Someone ever so very special to me
I didn’t know how to be clear I obfuscated my words I suffered and I enjoyed my suffering
— Julian Talamantez Brolaski, “talking Horse,” from Horse Vision, BAX 2018: Best American Experimental Writing

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I'm tired of losing people because of you
The boy whos ever so good at breaking me down and tearing me apart.
Never enough, always too much.
Mountainrose
I keep wanting to message them. To apologize for all I did. To tell them they still live in my heart. And I find my throat close and my heart fade as I realise it's too late. What's done is done. And I'm trapped worrying for those, who Barly remember my name anymore...
I can't find the right words. Perhaps because I'm not much of a poet. But one can try can't they? What do I even say? Should I write about the boy who's holding my head unerwater Or the girl who puts fresh air into my lungs. Do I write about how he keeps me chained up Or how she sets me free. How he tries to keep me as I am While she only wishes to change with me? Do I speak of the madness in his head That only seems to spread to me. Or shall I speak of how she brings me sanity? Is it wrong to love them both. One that I could have in a snap of a finger. And the other Id wait my while life for? She's never made me doubt or broken my heart. But that's all he's done from the start. Does she really wish to see the things inside my head? Does he really wish I was dead? This poem is pointless. As is my life. And no one will see it so why. Why even write. Why even worry. We all will be dead someday so no need to hurry.
I miss you more than I should. I'd tell you how much I loved you If I could. But now it's to late. The curtains are closed and so is your heart. Do you even remeber our first date?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Because for the first time in years, I felt something. I wasn't numb anymore. I felt it all. You touched me and all of my color came back. You kissed me and my smile wouldn't wash away. And then suddenly I slipped. I tried to show you my light, And all you did was pour gallons of gasoline on it. And then you lit a match and walked away. And for the first time in years, I felt my heart shatter once again at the hands of a clumsy boy. And now I'll sit here and burn until my colors are ash and my light is non existent. I'll sit here and burn until I can't feel a damn thing again.
She always like blue eyes, of course. Like everyone likes blue eyes, with their icy beauty and their ocean depth. Blue has always been her favorite color and so how could she not have a love for blue eyes. But truly brown eyes where where her heart lied In their dark mystery and their hazel warmth. She thought she needed a swim She though she needed to drown herself in the ocean blue eyes and tainted love to feel alive. But it was in the earthy brown she found comfort. She didn't need to drown in icy passion but rather live in the warmth of those deep brown eyes safely watching over hers. If only the tide hadn't pulled her so far out
-mountain rose
“How am I supposed to be ok with you holding another girl while all of your things longer around my room.
How am I supposed to be ok with another girl in your bed while I’m wearing your shirt and falling apart in mine.
How am I supposed to be ok with seeing he wear all your stuff everyday while I sit and wear all the stuff you left behind. 
How am I supposed be ok with this when its my fault your gone and my fault I let myself get attached.
How am I supposed to be ok with you libeling the girl I had to compete with the first time.
You should have just picked her.
Because maybe she could have saved you. Maybe she could have held you with kinder hands than me and value you more that I ever could.
Maybe she could have fixed you after the destruction of your life.
Because now she’ll have to fix my mess and save you from my destructive personality.
Maybe now she can save you.
I just wish you would have picked her first
Because now we both need saving
-mountain rose
Self destruction is my expertise
Because in the end I break my own heart worse then any of thiers

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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You keep sayin you miss me So why you with another girl?
You say I'm as addictive as a drug And you're right I will make you feel better about yourself than you've ever felt. I will show you joy only movies talk about. I'll make you feel like your flying high right with me I will leave you spinning. And like every drug I'll drag you down when I'm done. I'll leave you on the floor in the middle of the night broken and falling apart. I'll make your stomach turn and your body ache I'll give you such an awful feeling you'll dig into your skin looking for traces of me. Yes my darling, I am like a drug, Addictive and sweet And oh so very deadly.
-mountain rose